EI Report:Nartian Rock, Kottan Bell, Gogh Reed, Diapered Egg

[[NPC] Dr. Singh]

We released a new EI this week, the Masquerade, plus updates to some of your favorites: the Nartian Rock is finishing up, and there are new evolutions for the Gogh Reed, Kottan Bell and Diapered Egg. Have a look!

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Stay tuned for the full report, featuring Dr. Singh and Timmy. This week, Timmy has run afoul of the law due to his unfortunate new appearance...

Dr. Singh: Hello, everyone! Welcome to the Evolving Item Report. I'm-- oh, my goodness, it looks like we've got an unexpected visitor tonight. May I help you, officer?

Officer Boothe: I'm just here to talk to this creep, ma'am. You go on about your business.

Dr. Singh: Huh? What creep? Let's get on with the show, Timmy, and we'll talk to this policeman when we're done.

Timmy: Sounds good, Doc! I've been lookin' forward to the show all week! I'm rarin' to go!

Dr. Singh: That's good, because it's a big week for updates! We've got a new evolving item, an item reaching its grand finale, and evolutions from three others. Where should we start?

Timmy: The new one is pretty neato, Doc! It's this thing called the Masquerade that changes your face in all sorts of crazy ways... I sure do know what that's like, boy howdy!

Dr. Singh: I've been hearing some dire warnings that using the tremendous power of this mask will lead down a terrifying path of madness, but we've heard THAT one before! Every other week, doctors are on television saying "coffee will lead you down a terrifying path of madness," then they're back the next week saying it's good for you! Am I right, people, or am I right?

Officer Boothe: You said it, lady!

Dr. Singh: The first-generation Masquerade is available now in the Cash Shop! Remember: first-gen items get all the newest poses first, and they tend to hold a higher value in the Marketplace, so don't miss out!

Timmy: And we got an item finishin' up this week, too!

Dr. Singh: That's right, Timmy. The Nartian Rock is reaching its cosmic finale! It's been a most curious journey for little Kink, and now it's coming to an end in a tremendous explosion of new poses and fantastical fashions-- you'll even get to ride away on a classic mod scooter! To finish up Kink's tale, here's a comic from the item's creator:

Click for a full-sized version!

Timmy: *Sniffle* I'll miss that little fella and his strange love of classic fashion.

Officer Boothe: I heard that sniffling! You on nose drugs, son?

Dr. Singh: Timmy is NOT on nose drugs! Anyway, the Diapered Egg gets another adorable evolution today, featuring lots of flowing pink accessories and a cute pair of winking eyes. The Kottan Bell is back with more dainty apparel, plus some evolution from the cute little plant at the center of it all.

Timmy: Doc, what are nose drugs?

Dr. Singh: None of your beeswax, Timmy. Last up, we've got an unusually delicious evolution from the Gogh Reed! Another guest artist is filling in this time, and they've taken the item to new extremes of tastiness with the legendary cakemeleon!

Timmy: Jeepers, Doc, I've never seen a more delicious-lookin' lizard in all my days!

Dr. Singh: I should note that the Gogh Reed's original creator will be back for the next evolution. So, that's all we've got lined up this week, folks! Tune in next time for more great items, and remember to vote in our weekly EI poll to let us know what you think of them. See you next week, everyb--

Officer Boothe: Alright, lady, I've put up with this chatter long enough. I think we all know why I'm here.

Dr. Singh: Actually, I have no idea...

Officer Boothe: I think you do. We've had reports of a suspicious-looking miscreant with an unsightly mustache hanging around the premises.

Timmy: Gee, that's terrifyin'! If I see anyone like that hangin' around I'll definitely let you guys know.

Officer Boothe: Don't get smart with me!

Timmy: Golly, officer, I wasn’t tryin' to get smart. I guess I should probably shut my trap now.

Officer Boothe: Don't play dumb with me!

Dr. Singh: Officer, if you're accusing Timmy of being some kind of miscreant, I can assure you that he's not. He may look a little ridiculous, but keep in mind that he's just a child in a man's body, and he's still getting used to it.

Officer Boothe: A child in a man's body!? Son, are you hiding a child somewhere on your person? I've heard reports of a little blue-haired child disappearing from these premises recently-- you wouldn't be concealing that child, would you?

Timmy: No, officer! I am that child! I just grew up real fast, is all.

Officer Boothe: Son, I've been working these mean streets for sixteen years, and if there's one thing I know it's people. And I can tell just by looking at that godawful mustache of yours that you're a ne'er-do-well. You're a bad apple.

Timmy: No! I'm not an apple!

Officer Boothe: I think I'd better take you down to the station, son. You're under arrest for vagrancy and child concealment.

Dr. Singh: Vagrancy? But he works here! This is his job!

Officer Boothe: Doesn't look like he's working right now, does it? Just standing around looking suspicious. Loitering! Vagrancy, child concealment and loitering. You're going down this time, buddy. You're going to a dark place for a long time.

Dr. Singh: I'm afraid I must object, officer. This manchild is under my protection, and I'd prefer to discipline him for his awful mustache on my own terms. Please, could you let his ridiculous appearance slide just this once?

Officer Boothe: Lady, are you looking to buy yourself six months in the clink for harboring a creepy miscreant? I'd shut my trap if I were you!

Dr. Singh: Well, Timmy, I guess you'd better go with the nice man and we'll get this straightened out just as quickly as we're able.

Timmy: Sure thing, Doc! I've never seen the inside of a jail before! Wow, every day of being an adult is just a crazy new adventure, isn't it?

Officer Boothe: Let's take a ride, son!