We know you're probably engrossed in your various Halloweenities at the moment, but let's take a quick break for some EIs! After all, we've got some great stuff to report: the
Dappy Dandy, our brand new EI, plus evolutions from the
Nightmare and
Hidden Ace and a timely finale for the
Bad Moon. Have a look!
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Dappy Dandy, or one of our other awesome EIs.
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Read on for the full report, in which Timmy gains a spiritual follower...
Timmy: Hullo there, everybody! This is the Evolving Item Report, I guess... I'm still off on my spiritual journey and the Doc wanted me to do the show from the road, but I'm not really sure what I'm doin' so I'm just kinda wingin' it.
Timmy: Oh, and uh... well, I met this "Old Pete" fella last week and asked him for some advice, 'cuz I thought he was some kinda spiritual leader on account of his beard and robes, but now I'm thinkin' maybe he's just a wandering tramp.
Old Pete: Government took m'beans.
Timmy: And he's just been, y'know, kinda following me around, so... I guess I've got myself a fellow pilgrim! A spiritual disciple who will follow me on my journey, until he gets bored or confused and wanders off!
Old Pete: Dogs ain't got the manners they used to... where's the dog hospitality... god-danged police dog state is what it is.
Timmy: So.... yeah. I guess we better start talkin' about the items before the audience gets confused and wanders off, huh? Get it? Little joke, there, Pete.
Old Pete: Harf! Yeah. Watskeburt.
Timmy: That wasn't a word, Pete, but I'm glad you liked it. Anywho, we got some real nice things to report this week: first up, there's a brand new item! The
Dappy Dandy is exactly the sort of fancy clothes a guy like me could enjoy... once I get all rich and successful and spiritually pure, of course. How'bout you, Pete? I think you'd look great in a fancy gentleman's outfit!
Old Pete: Carn't take the robes off. Been sleepin' in 'em for s'long my skin grewn into 'em.
Timmy: Grody! Well, next up, we got a real nice new update to the
Hidden Ace! Even though I'm not much of a "cards man," as they say, I think this item has a really neat theme, and it's carried out real splendid-like this week. How'bout you, Pete? You a gambler?
Old Pete: Yope. Won this cat in a game of twos-and-queens.
Timmy: What cat?
Timmy: And since it's nearin' Halloween and all-- sorry I haven't got a costume, but I've been on the road-- we've got some great scary stuff to report: the
Bad Moon is reachin' its final state this week with a buncha new wolfy madness, and
The Nightmare is gettin' another creepy-crawly update courtesy of the artist behind the Enchanted Book!
Timmy: I guess that's about it for this week-- remember to stop in and vote in our
weekly EI poll to let us know your favorites, and say hi to Dr. Singh if you see her. Sure is lonesome without her, but I guess I'm glad to have Old Pete for some companionship. Say, Pete, you don't look that old... why do they call you "Old Pete"?
Old Pete: Welp. Used to be New Pete but then there was a newer Pete, and the old Old Pete passed away from the oral burpies. And then I was Old Pete. Plus I drank a can of spoiled brass polish and now I got holes in my brain like a ninety-year-old.
Timmy: Jeepers, Pete, that's the most lucid thing I've ever heard you say, but it was still totally insane at the same time!