WebcomiC: NWABA!

[[Issachar]]

http://nwaba.smackjeeves.com/comics/1395241/cover/

I've posted seven pages so far and update on weekdays c: .

[Kaxen]

Your speech bubbles are a bit claustrophobic. The text shouldn't bump into the edges with normal speech.

On this page: http://nwaba.smackjeeves.com/comics/1398466/05/ I think you need more stroke on the text in the top two panels. It's hard to read.

Sometimes I have a hard time telling what's going on in some panels. Like this page: http://nwaba.smackjeeves.com/comics/1401128/06/ the first panel doesn't read very well.


The art is okay, I guess. What I've seen of the story so far is a bit "meh." I don't hate it, but it doesn't really hook me enough to want to read more.

[Rabbit_L]

You should work on the contrast of your comic: you are over using screen tones, and the lack of values can't really lead my eyes a spot to land on.

The lack of contrast makes your comic messier than it should and because of this I quickly lost interest in it.

I advise you plan out the focus of each panel and tone down the not so important backgrounds- well, generally you can do this by using a lighter screen tone for the background or by lightening up your characters, because right now it seems that there are only shadows and base colours in the pages, but no highlights.

You should vary the brushstrokes too to keep the comic interesting, because right now the overuse of screentones and the unnecessary uniformity of the brushstrokes really make a chaotic combo.

Keep it up!

[Annie Felis]

Your line weights are not consistant. On some pages they're thin, some pages they're thick, and their thickness doesn't seem to have anything to do with depth of field or light direction. If you don't want to worry about line weight and how it relates to those things, then just pick one line thickness and stick to it through the whole comic.

[Zeo]

I read through it and...

It doesn't seem to take itself very seriously.

I don't really care for the "here is how this world works" exposition text page that comics like this tend to have, but I'll admit that the premise seemed interesting enough. The problem is that the characters and story itself don't seem all that serious. This guy's facing possible death and all he can do is crack jokes and make funny faces? Are we supposed to laugh? Is this a fantasy or a comedy?

I think it's just confused. There's nothing wrong with a story that incorporates humor in a fantasy setting or vice versa. But it feels like this story doesn't really know what it wants to be and so just kind of flails around, with the main character shrugging and saying "I'm about to die! Who cares?"

Who cares, indeed.

[Ethma]

I clicked your link, clicked back a few pages from the most recent page, and, there's no polite way to say this so I'll just say it:

My eyeballs almost melted because of your black word balloons that have black text with white glow around them. Like, actual pain. I couldn't look at the page, and will not look at it again unless you go back and replace the black text with pure white text with no horrible glowing effect on it.

You can successfully do black word balloons--I use them in my comic, too. Just make sure that the text is readable on top of them, and doesn't cause people reading it actual physical pain.