Shonen ai comic

[Evedith]

What do you think about my comic so far?
I'm not done yet, as you can see :I

http://evedith.deviantart.com/gallery/41552620

[Rabbit_L]

Can you please change the banner sweetie
Just
please?

[Evedith]

Rabbit_L

Can you please change the banner sweetie
Just
please?

It would help me a lot, if you told me why.

[Rabbit_L]

Evedith

It's pixelated and looks like something you took straight off of Blingee.

[Evedith]

Rabbit_L

Evedith

It's pixelated and looks like something you took straight off of Blingee.

Ofcourse its pixelated, it's made in paint, as you can read in the describtion. But thanks for your reply.

[XMegantronX]

Well...it's not much to judge on but I think the art could be better and the title header could have had more effort. You have some anatomy issues here and there you need to work on. Like most of the hands are too small, odd body proportions, etc. the header looks really...simple. And not in a good way. I think it would look better if you just hand drew it and scanned it. The pixels are distracting and the colors are too loud.

So far the story doesn't pull me in. Leaping into this scene, it feels as if I missed something. I know the talk guy is in love with the demon guy, but I don't know why or even how they met yet. If you choose to start a story like this, I feel like there needs to be more of a draw. The best way to do it, I believe, is to make the reader care about the characters so far, the story doesn't make us care about the people in it, thus making the beginning thus far very bland. I hope this helps you!

[Sera Michaelis]

I think the pixelated style of the banner could work actually, it would probably just be better if the colors were less saturated, or even a less dramatic gradient.

Also, is there a particular reason you've chosen to use Paint? I looked in your gallery and some of your work is done in SAI, which is far better. There's no shame in efficiency, and SAI's linework layers and/or pen tools will give you smoother, more natural linework. Plus more editing options and pressure. If it's the pixelly style you like, there are ways to get that aesthetic in other programs besides paint. SAI comes with the Binary tool, which makes pixels. c:

[Evedith]

XMegantronX

Well...it's not much to judge on but I think the art could be better and the title header could have had more effort. You have some anatomy issues here and there you need to work on. Like most of the hands are too small, odd body proportions, etc. the header looks really...simple. And not in a good way. I think it would look better if you just hand drew it and scanned it. The pixels are distracting and the colors are too loud.

So far the story doesn't pull me in. Leaping into this scene, it feels as if I missed something. I know the talk guy is in love with the demon guy, but I don't know why or even how they met yet. If you choose to start a story like this, I feel like there needs to be more of a draw. The best way to do it, I believe, is to make the reader care about the characters so far, the story doesn't make us care about the people in it, thus making the beginning thus far very bland. I hope this helps you!

Thanks a lot. I will be working on my art and my anatomy issues smile
And no the story doesn't start like that, but those six pages was only made for fun and for practise. If I were to start a comic for real, I would of course start from beginning to end and introduce my characters much better.

[Evedith]

Sera Michaelis

I think the pixelated style of the banner could work actually, it would probably just be better if the colors were less saturated, or even a less dramatic gradient.

Also, is there a particular reason you've chosen to use Paint? I looked in your gallery and some of your work is done in SAI, which is far better. There's no shame in efficiency, and SAI's linework layers and/or pen tools will give you smoother, more natural linework. Plus more editing options and pressure. If it's the pixelly style you like, there are ways to get that aesthetic in other programs besides paint. SAI comes with the Binary tool, which makes pixels. c:

Thanks for your reply smile

Yes, there is a reason. I'm new to Sai, and I started to have fun with paint long time before I got Sai, but I still think paint is fun to use, because you wont need the tablet for the lineart. But I agree with you, it's gets a lot more pretty when it's done in sai.

[XMegantronX]

Evedith

XMegantronX

Well...it's not much to judge on but I think the art could be better and the title header could have had more effort. You have some anatomy issues here and there you need to work on. Like most of the hands are too small, odd body proportions, etc. the header looks really...simple. And not in a good way. I think it would look better if you just hand drew it and scanned it. The pixels are distracting and the colors are too loud.

So far the story doesn't pull me in. Leaping into this scene, it feels as if I missed something. I know the talk guy is in love with the demon guy, but I don't know why or even how they met yet. If you choose to start a story like this, I feel like there needs to be more of a draw. The best way to do it, I believe, is to make the reader care about the characters so far, the story doesn't make us care about the people in it, thus making the beginning thus far very bland. I hope this helps you!

Thanks a lot. I will be working on my art and my anatomy issues smile
And no the story doesn't start like that, but those six pages was only made for fun and for practise. If I were to start a comic for real, I would of course start from beginning to end and introduce my characters much better.

Oh good! XD I was so confused. Well I'm glad and good luck!

[Evedith]

XMegantronX

Evedith

XMegantronX

Well...it's not much to judge on but I think the art could be better and the title header could have had more effort. You have some anatomy issues here and there you need to work on. Like most of the hands are too small, odd body proportions, etc. the header looks really...simple. And not in a good way. I think it would look better if you just hand drew it and scanned it. The pixels are distracting and the colors are too loud.

So far the story doesn't pull me in. Leaping into this scene, it feels as if I missed something. I know the talk guy is in love with the demon guy, but I don't know why or even how they met yet. If you choose to start a story like this, I feel like there needs to be more of a draw. The best way to do it, I believe, is to make the reader care about the characters so far, the story doesn't make us care about the people in it, thus making the beginning thus far very bland. I hope this helps you!

Thanks a lot. I will be working on my art and my anatomy issues smile
And no the story doesn't start like that, but those six pages was only made for fun and for practise. If I were to start a comic for real, I would of course start from beginning to end and introduce my characters much better.

Oh good! XD I was so confused. Well I'm glad and good luck!

Thanks a lot :B

[Redfox44]

interesting story so far... I really wish you would have elaborated on the situation of the party more and I didn't really get much from the last pages either. Is he from some other world where the can cross into the human world? I don't know maybe if there were more pages that explained this I know that its not complete but maybe even a ruff draft will do if its an option on the story that your looking for. at least with that you could get a better feel of what your readers are looking for and interested in seeing. Also the title banner is a bit off putting. I like a lot of others use Smakejeeves to post on and when I browse through smakejeeves its the banner that brings me in, it says what the story is about it says what you might find before even reading it. The side pictures are nice but the font is an eye sore. I; for fun like to open up Word document and start playing around with different fonts that go with the feel of the story I'm writing. Just a tip biggrin I like your art work and I checked out the rest of your deviant art the comic with the guy with the Arrow looked interesting.

[Denaliah Arts]

Hi! glad to meet another creator!

The characters' personalities show through from your storytelling, however the poses/gestures of your drawings themselves look stiff and flat. Keep working a good luck ^^