Romantic Comedy Manga

[silverstez]

I have been working on a comic just today, it was for fun so I am not looking at publishing it, not looking for advice on publishing. If you have any feedback I would love to hear it, if you want to tell me how great I am, my ego will thank you for it hahaha

I plan to make more pages so if you like it and would like to read more, I would be very very flattered for you to keep in touch with what I am writing.

Page 1:

Page 2:


I wrote this based on my actual experiences but made very funny (well I find it funny anyway)

Thank you for reading smile

[The Zorya]

First thing that popped to my mind: do not avoid drawing concrete backgrounds. Research about place where your comic happens so you can bring it closer to your readers. Try to delete all the text and try objectively look on how much you actually need to show and you have not.
So far, without text, I can read your comic like this: It happens in a brick building near a park/woods where some handsome man lives, girl says something embarrassing and guy maybe scolds her and leaves, which is very different and very vague. Do not be afraid to draw London's skyline, learn how to draw buildings, look up how architecture looks, research where it is most likely to find a bookstore, google on how they look at inside and if needed draw out map of the bookstore so you can rotate the camera easier, with more consistency so your readers have feeling of space.

I will also mention that you would benefit from life drawing. There is a topic about it in art discussion, but I can't find it at the moment among my links, you should look it up and see how you will benefit from it.

P.S. No need to bump. This is slow forum and your topic will need days, if not even weeks to fall off first page.

[Kupocake]

Where the heck did the guy and girl come from? You start off with an establishing shot of a bookstore, but then you immediately jump to a rosy-shoujo view of the guy. A better way to set up the page would be starting with the bookstore, with the next shot of the girl inside the bookstore, looking for help, and then coming across the guy. Think in progression, think in key moments. Don't just jump straight into the fray, or else you'll confuse your readers.

I have a hard time believing a girl would immediately just jump into saying "kiss me." Eh.

Art-wise, I definitely recommend you work on your life drawing. Also, work on your backgrounds. The first establishing shot of the bookstore is pretty boring, and that tree feels ephemeral rather than a solid one.

[silverstez]

The Zorya

First thing that popped to my mind: do not avoid drawing concrete backgrounds. Research about place where your comic happens so you can bring it closer to your readers. Try to delete all the text and try objectively look on how much you actually need to show and you have not.
So far, without text, I can read your comic like this: It happens in a brick building near a park/woods where some handsome man lives, girl says something embarrassing and guy maybe scolds her and leaves, which is very different and very vague. Do not be afraid to draw London's skyline, learn how to draw buildings, look up how architecture looks, research where it is most likely to find a bookstore, google on how they look at inside and if needed draw out map of the bookstore so you can rotate the camera easier, with more consistency so your readers have feeling of space.

I will also mention that you would benefit from life drawing. There is a topic about it in art discussion, but I can't find it at the moment among my links, you should look it up and see how you will benefit from it.

P.S. No need to bump. This is slow forum and your topic will need days, if not even weeks to fall off first page.

Thank you for the feedback, honestly my drawings of buildings are HORRIBLE. I avoid it because I am so bad at it but you are right, avoiding drawing it will just make it worse. I haven't had much of an opportunity for life drawing but I experiment with a lot of forms of art to try and get a better sense of anatomy. It has been helping heaps but thanks for reminding me so I can keep it close in mind.

Also I bumped because I thought I fell off the first page. Sorry, I didn't realise.

[The Zorya]

silverstez

The Zorya

First thing that popped to my mind: do not avoid drawing concrete backgrounds. Research about place where your comic happens so you can bring it closer to your readers. Try to delete all the text and try objectively look on how much you actually need to show and you have not.
So far, without text, I can read your comic like this: It happens in a brick building near a park/woods where some handsome man lives, girl says something embarrassing and guy maybe scolds her and leaves, which is very different and very vague. Do not be afraid to draw London's skyline, learn how to draw buildings, look up how architecture looks, research where it is most likely to find a bookstore, google on how they look at inside and if needed draw out map of the bookstore so you can rotate the camera easier, with more consistency so your readers have feeling of space.

I will also mention that you would benefit from life drawing. There is a topic about it in art discussion, but I can't find it at the moment among my links, you should look it up and see how you will benefit from it.

P.S. No need to bump. This is slow forum and your topic will need days, if not even weeks to fall off first page.

Thank you for the feedback, honestly my drawings of buildings are HORRIBLE. I avoid it because I am so bad at it but you are right, avoiding drawing it will just make it worse. I haven't had much of an opportunity for life drawing but I experiment with a lot of forms of art to try and get a better sense of anatomy. It has been helping heaps but thanks for reminding me so I can keep it close in mind.

Also I bumped because I thought I fell off the first page. Sorry, I didn't realise.

Drawing from life is nothing but looking how object looks in real, its true proportions and how light/shadow define the object. It may sound like complex thing, but it is rather simple, much more simple than stylizing. It will help you draw better figures, draw better surrounding and so on and so on.
Blargh, my English is awful today, I apologize.

[silverstez]

The Zorya

silverstez

The Zorya

First thing that popped to my mind: do not avoid drawing concrete backgrounds. Research about place where your comic happens so you can bring it closer to your readers. Try to delete all the text and try objectively look on how much you actually need to show and you have not.
So far, without text, I can read your comic like this: It happens in a brick building near a park/woods where some handsome man lives, girl says something embarrassing and guy maybe scolds her and leaves, which is very different and very vague. Do not be afraid to draw London's skyline, learn how to draw buildings, look up how architecture looks, research where it is most likely to find a bookstore, google on how they look at inside and if needed draw out map of the bookstore so you can rotate the camera easier, with more consistency so your readers have feeling of space.

I will also mention that you would benefit from life drawing. There is a topic about it in art discussion, but I can't find it at the moment among my links, you should look it up and see how you will benefit from it.

P.S. No need to bump. This is slow forum and your topic will need days, if not even weeks to fall off first page.

Thank you for the feedback, honestly my drawings of buildings are HORRIBLE. I avoid it because I am so bad at it but you are right, avoiding drawing it will just make it worse. I haven't had much of an opportunity for life drawing but I experiment with a lot of forms of art to try and get a better sense of anatomy. It has been helping heaps but thanks for reminding me so I can keep it close in mind.

Also I bumped because I thought I fell off the first page. Sorry, I didn't realise.

Drawing from life is nothing but looking how object looks in real, its true proportions and how light/shadow define the object. It may sound like complex thing, but it is rather simple, much more simple than stylizing. It will help you draw better figures, draw better surrounding and so on and so on.
Blargh, my English is awful today, I apologize.

Oh lol yeah fair point. I feel silly not thinking of the inanimate objects but I guess that is how I get at 4:30am. I just can't sleep D:
Anyway, I definitely need some work on drawing objects, my people are okay but I would like to get my backgrounds and objects up to par with the people rather than perfect drawing people just yet. Good idea or bad idea?

[-2o]

silverstez

The Zorya

silverstez

The Zorya

First thing that popped to my mind: do not avoid drawing concrete backgrounds. Research about place where your comic happens so you can bring it closer to your readers. Try to delete all the text and try objectively look on how much you actually need to show and you have not.
So far, without text, I can read your comic like this: It happens in a brick building near a park/woods where some handsome man lives, girl says something embarrassing and guy maybe scolds her and leaves, which is very different and very vague. Do not be afraid to draw London's skyline, learn how to draw buildings, look up how architecture looks, research where it is most likely to find a bookstore, google on how they look at inside and if needed draw out map of the bookstore so you can rotate the camera easier, with more consistency so your readers have feeling of space.

I will also mention that you would benefit from life drawing. There is a topic about it in art discussion, but I can't find it at the moment among my links, you should look it up and see how you will benefit from it.

P.S. No need to bump. This is slow forum and your topic will need days, if not even weeks to fall off first page.

Thank you for the feedback, honestly my drawings of buildings are HORRIBLE. I avoid it because I am so bad at it but you are right, avoiding drawing it will just make it worse. I haven't had much of an opportunity for life drawing but I experiment with a lot of forms of art to try and get a better sense of anatomy. It has been helping heaps but thanks for reminding me so I can keep it close in mind.

Also I bumped because I thought I fell off the first page. Sorry, I didn't realise.

Drawing from life is nothing but looking how object looks in real, its true proportions and how light/shadow define the object. It may sound like complex thing, but it is rather simple, much more simple than stylizing. It will help you draw better figures, draw better surrounding and so on and so on.
Blargh, my English is awful today, I apologize.

Oh lol yeah fair point. I feel silly not thinking of the inanimate objects but I guess that is how I get at 4:30am. I just can't sleep D:
Anyway, I definitely need some work on drawing objects, my people are okay but I would like to get my backgrounds and objects up to par with the people rather than perfect drawing people just yet. Good idea or bad idea?

I would say that you should be working on both and there is no reason why you cannot alternate. Skills you do not continue to build on atrophy and I don't think you are at the level yet where stopping practice even for a little while, wouldn't be disastrous.

So alternate. Some days, or parts of days, focus on anatomy, others focus on perspective and inanimate objects.

[silverstez]

-2o

silverstez

The Zorya

silverstez

The Zorya

First thing that popped to my mind: do not avoid drawing concrete backgrounds. Research about place where your comic happens so you can bring it closer to your readers. Try to delete all the text and try objectively look on how much you actually need to show and you have not.
So far, without text, I can read your comic like this: It happens in a brick building near a park/woods where some handsome man lives, girl says something embarrassing and guy maybe scolds her and leaves, which is very different and very vague. Do not be afraid to draw London's skyline, learn how to draw buildings, look up how architecture looks, research where it is most likely to find a bookstore, google on how they look at inside and if needed draw out map of the bookstore so you can rotate the camera easier, with more consistency so your readers have feeling of space.

I will also mention that you would benefit from life drawing. There is a topic about it in art discussion, but I can't find it at the moment among my links, you should look it up and see how you will benefit from it.

P.S. No need to bump. This is slow forum and your topic will need days, if not even weeks to fall off first page.

Thank you for the feedback, honestly my drawings of buildings are HORRIBLE. I avoid it because I am so bad at it but you are right, avoiding drawing it will just make it worse. I haven't had much of an opportunity for life drawing but I experiment with a lot of forms of art to try and get a better sense of anatomy. It has been helping heaps but thanks for reminding me so I can keep it close in mind.

Also I bumped because I thought I fell off the first page. Sorry, I didn't realise.

Drawing from life is nothing but looking how object looks in real, its true proportions and how light/shadow define the object. It may sound like complex thing, but it is rather simple, much more simple than stylizing. It will help you draw better figures, draw better surrounding and so on and so on.
Blargh, my English is awful today, I apologize.

Oh lol yeah fair point. I feel silly not thinking of the inanimate objects but I guess that is how I get at 4:30am. I just can't sleep D:
Anyway, I definitely need some work on drawing objects, my people are okay but I would like to get my backgrounds and objects up to par with the people rather than perfect drawing people just yet. Good idea or bad idea?

I would say that you should be working on both and there is no reason why you cannot alternate. Skills you do not continue to build on atrophy and I don't think you are at the level yet where stopping practice even for a little while, wouldn't be disastrous.

So alternate. Some days, or parts of days, focus on anatomy, others focus on perspective and inanimate objects.

yeah that is true, I guess comics are a good way to learn both smile

[Yourfriendirl]

silverstez

yeah that is true, I guess comics are a good way to learn both smile

It's more true that comics are a medium that demands you to learn both. It's been my experience that comics exist in a form that's surprisingly resistant to improvement if the artist is unwilling (or simply doesn't know) to work from reference. Soooo yeah, I'm basically just echoing here but draw from life. There are things to be said about page layout and panel composition and all that but it doesn't mean much to rearrange a page when you can't fill it convincingly.

Good luck! You seem to at the very least have a good attitude.

[silverstez]

Yourfriendirl

silverstez

yeah that is true, I guess comics are a good way to learn both smile

It's more true that comics are a medium that demands you to learn both. It's been my experience that comics exist in a form that's surprisingly resistant to improvement if the artist is unwilling (or simply doesn't know) to work from reference. Soooo yeah, I'm basically just echoing here but draw from life. There are things to be said about page layout and panel composition and all that but it doesn't mean much to rearrange a page when you can't fill it convincingly.

Good luck! You seem to at the very least have a good attitude.

Thank you for that, it is very positive feedback which is really helpful hehe. I am glad I haven't seemed to have anything negative yet (By negative I don't mean people pointing out flaws I mean "This is s**t" etc.)

Also yeah you are right, I still think that practicing through drawing new things is a good experience smile I think it does help improvement but I dunno I mean I might be wrong there I guess but from my experiences the more practice the better.