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please read nad comment... well this is only the first five pages... if i get 30 likes ... i will post the rest of the pages biggrin thank you

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Mugetsu Ookamiza's avatar

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bumping in the AMC and its subforums is considered spamming unless it occurs after a thread has fallen off the first page.

and the Manga subforum is actually for threads related to professionally published manga. if you want to share your own work try Picture Post, Comic Creators, or Promotions in the Art section of the forums.
Oro Senpai's avatar

Super Star

Woah this is GOOD! I love the idea and you draw so well, I wish I could like it 30 times so I could read the rest no joke. It's awsome! xd keep it up and you could make a series out of it! heart
II ORO II
Woah this is GOOD! I love the idea and you draw so well, I wish I could like it 30 times so I could read the rest no joke. It's awsome! xd keep it up and you could make a series out of it! heart


awweee thank you <3 anyway i have 2 chapters already and im about to finish chapter 3 soon biggrin
Mugetsu Ookamiza
bumping in the AMC and its subforums is considered spamming unless it occurs after a thread has fallen off the first page.

and the Manga subforum is actually for threads related to professionally published manga. if you want to share your own work try Picture Post, Comic Creators, or Promotions in the Art section of the forums.


yes yes ahaha i didnt know.... i thought that was the place to post ^_^
Oro Senpai's avatar

Super Star

jojemon
II ORO II
Woah this is GOOD! I love the idea and you draw so well, I wish I could like it 30 times so I could read the rest no joke. It's awsome! xd keep it up and you could make a series out of it! heart


awweee thank you <3 anyway i have 2 chapters already and im about to finish chapter 3 soon biggrin

I love it heart ur style of drawing is really good. I can't draw if my life depended on it... sweatdrop
Ugly Words's avatar

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Very good artwork. It could be a bit more realistic, but it has good style.
Ugly Words
Very good artwork. It could be a bit more realistic, but it has good style.


thank you....
II ORO II
jojemon
II ORO II
Woah this is GOOD! I love the idea and you draw so well, I wish I could like it 30 times so I could read the rest no joke. It's awsome! xd keep it up and you could make a series out of it! heart


awweee thank you <3 anyway i have 2 chapters already and im about to finish chapter 3 soon biggrin

I love it heart ur style of drawing is really good. I can't draw if my life depended on it... sweatdrop


thank you very much ~desu heart heart heart
Oro Senpai's avatar

Super Star

jojemon
II ORO II
jojemon
II ORO II
Woah this is GOOD! I love the idea and you draw so well, I wish I could like it 30 times so I could read the rest no joke. It's awsome! xd keep it up and you could make a series out of it! heart


awweee thank you <3 anyway i have 2 chapters already and im about to finish chapter 3 soon biggrin

I love it heart ur style of drawing is really good. I can't draw if my life depended on it... sweatdrop


thank you very much ~desu heart heart heart

Of course, u deserve it. gaia_kittenstar
Seijaku_Ishida's avatar

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Even for children, their heads are...really big. They look a lot like chibis.

I'm not going to touch on the right-to-left, but I recommend that you look at the topics we have available for them.

My main problem is the dialogue. Mainly:

-The use of emoticons
-The use of Japanese and accompanying translations
-The font

Your drawings should tell everything about their expressions. If their is a significant change of expression, then it needs a new panel. You're letting your writing take on this weight, and it makes it look amateurish and takes one out of the story(it makes me think of an AIM conversation, not dialogue).

Either write in Japanese or write in English unless they are speaking actually speaking both languages(even then, you could just use translation brackets).

Ah the font. I suggest using a real comic font. The ones on Blambot are good, and many are even free.
Er its pretty good XD I liked it smile Although I agree with Seijaku_Ishida You should probably just type in english, it can be confusing for readers to bounce between japanese dialogue to english,(don't worry I used to do it to whee ) But over all the art is good, and I like the concept smile I hope there will be more. scream

If you want some tips or examples just ask smile or you can look at my manga FLAMELESS! for reference whee emotion_dealwithit

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