Welcome to Gaia! ::

Mistress Von L's avatar

5,000 Points
  • Signature Look 250
  • Autobiographer 200
  • Person of Interest 200
[You know those black bits in banana's?]





Whats "Project Angel"?

It's a Gaia-exclusive webcomic detailing the events of Axel Hunter as he tries to take over Gaia with his group "Axel's Angels" and Supreme Master L.
However, being tragically bankrupt, the Angels are forced to disguise themselves as regular Gaians and work for various Gaia NPC'S.

Written by: Myself and Axel Hunter
Art By: Myself (Pages 1- 7), StarlessJoy (Pages 8 - current)


Latest Page :
User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20
21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30
31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37

StarlessJoy's Version of Page 1





[... Are they tarantula's eggs?]
You mean to tell me that you're posting to promote a webcomic that doesn't exist?
Fishies's avatar

Anxious Lunatic

9,150 Points
  • Grunny Grabber 50
  • Bunny Spotter 50
The pages can be found by clicking the link in his sig. I suggest linking it in the main post instead, Master L.

Anyway, I like the giant octopus but the art could use a little tidying.
Mistress Von L's avatar

5,000 Points
  • Signature Look 250
  • Autobiographer 200
  • Person of Interest 200
[I drank 1000 Yakults for a bet....]




EDIT: There we go. XD


[… I woke up the next morining made of solid light.]
Break out the polish, put up the flame shield and roll out the lols!
Mistress Von L's avatar

5,000 Points
  • Signature Look 250
  • Autobiographer 200
  • Person of Interest 200
[I drank 1000 Yakults for a bet....]




Feedback is always welcome. :3
Like... how it could be improved. Does it need colour... that sort of thing.


[… I woke up the next morining made of solid light.]
From title only, it sounded like a lovechild of Tokyo Mew Mew and Maximum Ride. But here I see you're going for a gaia-based Charlie's Angels knockoff.

Art sucks. I suggest you practice, or maybe partner with a decent artist. Bad art doesn't necessarily mean bad webcomic, of course; it can be saved with good writing. At the very least, work on clarity of expressions. That's the most important thing.

Panelling gets confusing in places. The logo at the bottom of EVERY SINGLE PAGE is unnecessary. At the very least, make it small and not suck. The handwriting starts big and gets smaller. >.>

Mysterious supreme master megatron L. Change the name? I'm itching to go read Deathnote now. Also, he doesn't look all that mysterious. He has a scarf. Is that the best characterization you can accomplish?

RULER. GET IT. USE IT. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

You've got... Lineart. Shade, tone, or colour, pl0x. Hatch if you must. It's flat and boring. Also, erase your eraser smudges.

The text bubbles suck. The outline should be THICKER than the lines in your art.

Get a legible font.

Page 1: I see what you did thar. You copypasta'd a panel. Tee-hee.

There are a ton of gaia/zomg based comics. Think about what makes yours stand apart from the rest.

Fix what's been suggested, and with good writing and execution, this might be a decent read. You've got a nice cast of characters right and upfront, so you've got plenty of possible interactions to draw from. You've also got an entire world already made for you to explore. Go. Frolic.
Mistress Von L's avatar

5,000 Points
  • Signature Look 250
  • Autobiographer 200
  • Person of Interest 200
merixthexninja
From title only, it sounded like a lovechild of Tokyo Mew Mew and Maximum Ride. But here I see you're going for a gaia-based Charlie's Angels knockoff.

Art sucks. I suggest you practice, or maybe partner with a decent artist. Bad art doesn't necessarily mean bad webcomic, of course; it can be saved with good writing. At the very least, work on clarity of expressions. That's the most important thing.

Panelling gets confusing in places. The logo at the bottom of EVERY SINGLE PAGE is unnecessary. At the very least, make it small and not suck. The handwriting starts big and gets smaller. >.>

Mysterious supreme master megatron L. Change the name? I'm itching to go read Deathnote now. Also, he doesn't look all that mysterious. He has a scarf. Is that the best characterization you can accomplish?

RULER. GET IT. USE IT. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

You've got... Lineart. Shade, tone, or colour, pl0x. Hatch if you must. It's flat and boring. Also, erase your eraser smudges.

The text bubbles suck. The outline should be THICKER than the lines in your art.

Get a legible font.

Page 1: I see what you did thar. You copypasta'd a panel. Tee-hee.

There are a ton of gaia/zomg based comics. Think about what makes yours stand apart from the rest.

Fix what's been suggested, and with good writing and execution, this might be a decent read. You've got a nice cast of characters right and upfront, so you've got plenty of possible interactions to draw from. You've also got an entire world already made for you to explore. Go. Frolic.


[I drank 1000 Yakults for a bet....]




Cheers. I'll get to work on those right away!

I know exactly what you mean, I didn't even realise that pages 2,3 and 4's sketch lines weren't erased! D: I'm ashamed.

And I see what you mean about the font. I just use Manga Temple in the majority of my other works. Its technically defualt in my Photoshop now. I'll pick a new font!

Again, the bubbles are what I use in everything... but I guess the outline needs to be a bit thicker. I just never had this kind of critisim. I appriciate it.

I use a ruler! I do, I do. I'm a little dyslexic, though. So drawing straight lines, even with a ruler, is hard for me.

And as for "megatron L", he gets a name change eventually.. don't worry.


So thanks for the crit. I'll see if I can make it more aesthetically pleasing.


[… I woke up the next morining made of solid light.]
You should tidy the art. o:

& add in some halftones in there, too, while you're at it. c:
Sera Michaelis's avatar

Fashionable Shopper

7,450 Points
  • Profitable 100
  • Money Never Sleeps 200
  • Forum Sophomore 300
People have already touched on cleaning up the art and the panel lines, so I won't mention that. :3

But I notice that about half your panels are perfect squares. That always bothered me, I guess because uniform panels are just unimaginative and visually boring. Also, you don't create enough movement sometimes, assuming that this is an action-oriented comic (which I assume it is).
It should be made clear and kept in mind that the main focus of this project is on ridiculosity and outright goofyness.
LAYOUT.

For the love of God, LAYOUT. Based on the first page, I don't even want to look at the other pages... Read some Scott McCloud, he explains layout and paneling nicely.
Mistress Von L's avatar

5,000 Points
  • Signature Look 250
  • Autobiographer 200
  • Person of Interest 200
[I drank 1000 Yakults for a bet....]




I don't know if you're being mean on purpose? But I did just say I was dyslexic D: Layout flys over my head and out the window. I just like doing my own thing, people have never complained before...




[… I woke up the next morining made of solid light.]
Can't speak for anyone else, but I'm not being mean, your layouts are terrible. They're unbalanced, lack flow, and leave tons of leftover space all over the place.

You can keep throwing out the excuse of "dyslexic," but you seem to be able to type fine, read fine, and draw well enough, so I'm left seeing it as just an excuse for not wanting to learn that aspect of comicking.

Comics are more than writing, and more than art, you have to make them work together. If you're not interested in that aspect, then do an illustrated story instead of a comic.
Mistress Von L's avatar

5,000 Points
  • Signature Look 250
  • Autobiographer 200
  • Person of Interest 200
[I drank 1000 Yakults for a bet....]




Mmkay.
I see the point, really.
Oh my english fine cause I get Axel to double check the scripts.

It's likely I'll improve. I've looked at my older work, the layouts seem more solid. I'll try like that again. I think I'm trying to impliment my owen crazy style which noone likes. hahaha.

right so ..... I promise page 8 will look super sexy. 8D


[… I woke up the next morining made of solid light.]

Quick Reply

Submit
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games