Pokemon Extreme: Thunderstruck! Free manga!!

[-2o]

You don't have the finesse to pull this off. I'm guessing this is all supposed to be funny, but it isn't. If you're going to make a parody of a work, it would make sense that you would use elements of the actual story to tell the jokes.

When the fact that this is Pokemon is completely non essential to the jokes you are making about the series, you have failed. All you have done is substitute bland juvenile profanity for a joke. Cursing can be funny, but it cannot be the entire ******** joke. llololololo shes a WHOAR!!!111!1 ********!!!

This comic is completely irredeemable in every way, and not even in a funny way. You're just trying way too hard to make it sound edgy and outrageous.

********

[Chris with the glasses]

I'm sure you get this from time to time but are you a troll? If not then you have a lot to fix, not just about your comic but presentation as well. If you want to fix your comic refer to -2o's post and for the love of all that is good if you aren't in Japan writing for a Japanese audience in Japanese writing in right to left format is just a good way to erk your English readers.

As for your presentation don't talk yourself up, self praise sucks. You presented yourself like you discovered the secret to cold fusion, I don't know about everyone else here but even if the product is good (it's not) people who go on like you have turns me off of whatever they've made.

[Happy Pyro]

The Zorya

Atomic Octopus

I'm going to try asking this again: why does the mom have a...package?

And I thought I was only one noticing.
But maybe it's actually father that tried to take mother role because real mother ran away? gonk

Maybe. probably.
Also, why is the TV built into the wall and the shelf as well. I mean, it looks weird when the door is at the same level of depth.
And, right to left is only used in authentic manga because thats how its written. They dont use it for everything, in fact a lot of their books dont even read like that. So you just proved to me that you are a weeaboo and a waste of space.

[-2o]

Chris with the glasses

I'm sure you get this from time to time but are you a troll? If not then you have a lot to fix, not just about your comic but presentation as well. If you want to fix your comic refer to -2o's post and for the love of all that is good if you aren't in Japan writing for a Japanese audience in Japanese writing in right to left format is just a good way to erk your English readers.

As for your presentation don't talk yourself up, self praise sucks. You presented yourself like you discovered the secret to cold fusion, I don't know about everyone else here but even if the product is good (it's not) people who go on like you have turns me off of whatever they've made.

Nah, she's not a troll. When you access her deviant art she has another project that seems legit, so if she's a troll she isn't a good one, since she's got real work mixed with this.

I wager she's just incredibly immature with a terrible sense of humor.

[Hate Miruki]

Actually guys.. I am no troll and this is not supposed to be a parody.. This is only an alternate version to the original.. you guys are looking at it wrong.. D;

[Hate Miruki]

You guys are being mean crying
First of all let me correct you all.. I am not a troll and I wasnt trying to be funny with this..
This is NOT A PARODY.
This is just Pokemon Set in a more mature dimension.. you guys are looking at it wrong.. ;o seriously.. These arent even real jokes...

eh yes.. I am terrible at comedy.. hence I dont try.. here I am trying to write a pokemon story set in a more realistic world.. sweatdrop

[Hate Miruki]

-2o

You don't have the finesse to pull this off. I'm guessing this is all supposed to be funny, but it isn't. If you're going to make a parody of a work, it would make sense that you would use elements of the actual story to tell the jokes.

When the fact that this is Pokemon is completely non essential to the jokes you are making about the series, you have failed. All you have done is substitute bland juvenile profanity for a joke. Cursing can be funny, but it cannot be the entire ******** joke. llololololo shes a WHOAR!!!111!1 ********!!!

This comic is completely irredeemable in every way, and not even in a funny way. You're just trying way too hard to make it sound edgy and outrageous.

********]

This is not supposed to be funny, no.. this is supposed to be a realistic representation of the pokemon world..
You are mistaken.. sorry.. sweatdrop

[Niiwa]

This... this must be a troll.
This is obviously a comedy. These are OBVIOUSLY jokes. Ash's mom being a hooker, then crossing that out and writing escort... them living in a trailer... this is making fun of "white trash" people. These are jokes. God-awful jokes, but jokes. This is clearly meant to be funny, you can see it in every goddamn line.
So, you're either trolling or backpedaling because you realize we're right, and trying to play it off like it was never meant to be funny.
Either way, not cool.

[Hate Miruki]

nope.. honestly I wasnt even trying..

[Hate Miruki]

I made Ash and his Mom that way to add character..
;o Ash's mom works hard as an escort to support him as she is a single mother living in a trailer with her son who is well... lazy..
and then Ash meets pikachu and they go on a pokemon quest..

look if you dont like the idea of a more realistic pokemon then just look away..
nobody told you to come over here and say mean things..

Im not good at taking insult and now you guys are really hurting me..

[IronSpike]

Hate Miruki

You guys are being mean crying
This is just Pokemon Set in a more mature dimension.. you guys are looking at it wrong.. ;o

No, you're looking at it wrong.

Dumping incessant profanity and references to prostitution into a story doesn't make it "mature." Quite the contrary; it's evidence of a deep and complete immaturity. Stories that feature adult themes in a "mature" fashion don't parade that adult material around for shock value, because the author is sophisticated enough to have realized that shock value is cheap and fleeting. Your comic isn't the work of a person ready to deal with mature themes; it's the comic of a child that still giggles when someone says "v****a."

You're not being edgy. You're being tiresome and cliched. You're like a middle-schooler experimenting with how much you can get away with in front of mom. Nobody's impressed.

[Hate Miruki]

IronSpike

Hate Miruki

You guys are being mean crying
This is just Pokemon Set in a more mature dimension.. you guys are looking at it wrong.. ;o

No, you're looking at it wrong.

Dumping incessant profanity and references to prostitution into a story doesn't make it "mature." Quite the contrary; it's evidence of a deep and complete immaturity. Stories that feature adult themes in a "mature" fashion don't parade that adult material around for shock value, because the author is sophisticated enough to have realized that shock value is cheap and fleeting. Your comic isn't the work of a person ready to deal with mature themes; it's the comic of a child that still giggles when someone says "v****a."

You're not being edgy. You're being tiresome and cliched. You're like a middle-schooler experimenting with how much you can get away with in front of mom. Nobody's impressed.

Okay jeez.. I get it! you dont like it..
how about I upload something more original?
you seem like a good critic.. so how about you read this one and tell me if this is worth it?
http://mirukihazard.deviantart.com/gallery/34268822

[Hate Miruki]

Hate Miruki

IronSpike

Hate Miruki

You guys are being mean crying
This is just Pokemon Set in a more mature dimension.. you guys are looking at it wrong.. ;o

No, you're looking at it wrong.

Dumping incessant profanity and references to prostitution into a story doesn't make it "mature." Quite the contrary; it's evidence of a deep and complete immaturity. Stories that feature adult themes in a "mature" fashion don't parade that adult material around for shock value, because the author is sophisticated enough to have realized that shock value is cheap and fleeting. Your comic isn't the work of a person ready to deal with mature themes; it's the comic of a child that still giggles when someone says "v****a."

You're not being edgy. You're being tiresome and cliched. You're like a middle-schooler experimenting with how much you can get away with in front of mom. Nobody's impressed.

Okay jeez.. I get it! you dont like it..
how about I upload something more original?
you seem like a good critic.. so how about you read this one and tell me if this is worth it?
http://mirukihazard.deviantart.com/gallery/34268822

oh wait.. you'd chew that one and spit it out.. lol
try this one.. its a manga I've been drawing for months.. and still am..
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Complete-System-Restore-Manual/166609443397466?sk=wall

[Hate Miruki]

ermm... how do I delete this thread? I think I had enough..

[IronSpike]

Hate Miruki

Okay jeez.. I get it! you dont like it..
how about I upload something more original?
you seem like a good critic.. so how about you read this one and tell me if this is worth it?
http://mirukihazard.deviantart.com/gallery/34268822

What's "original" about a manga about a cutie-pie corporate assassin?

Other than the fact the first murder she's depicted committing is more nonsensical than usual.