hisoka hxh
Kyousouka
hisoka hxh
Inu Harrlance
I love it. You characters are expressive too. That I like. Keep it coming. XD
Thank you. I will update the manga on a monthly basis. I'm sure to load up Chapter 2 before Christmas.
Although that drawing speed is admirable, I think your comic would benefit if you slowed down and took your time. A lot of the art looks rushed, and you take a lot of shortcuts that sacrifice clarity and make the art look careless.
Some of your panelling is hard to follow. Do you thumbnail your chapters ahead of time? If not, I highly recommend that you do, so that you can catch potential confusing layouts before you put any time into drawing the final art.
thanks for the input. if possible, can you list me the panels you found confusing or rushed? I will take a look and learn from my flaws. thanks.
Most of the pages have flow problems so I won't link them, but these have downright distracting problems:
Page 6 (unclear panel flow, unclear action)
Page 8 (panel order is clear, but the last panel comes out of nowhere and without some indication of that character's location relative to the main character, it's downright meaningless)
Page 10 (I have no idea what's going on here at all)
Page 11 (the panelling is okay, but that scene change is confusing, and the action most of the page doesn't read immediately)
Your most common problem seems to be poor/no transitions and establishing shots. Given that you're introducing this world for the first time in this chapter, and the chapter covers many locations, you should really be careful with how you show these places.
In particular, unless teleportation is a plot point, you should take the time to show the characters travelling. You don't need to show the entire journey, but you should suggest that they're going somewhere, and show their arrival
at the very least. When Theo arrives at the gingerbread house, for example, we're treated to a lovely establishing shot, but no indication of the fact that he just got there or the fact that he's there at all. It becomes clear in the next panel, but it's a very jarring change.
This is made worse by the jumping between concurrent events. These kinds of jumps are difficult to pull off, especially when you have so much trouble even with basic transitions.
There are not, as far as I know, quick and easy formulas for how to make effective transitions and establishing shots. Scott McCloud talks about these things in his books, but I benefited the most from looking at good comics and analysing how and why they do what they do.
As for the rushed art: Just about every panel on every page, but particularly the "chibi" panels on page 8, and the scene in the gingerbread house dungeon. Some of the "careless" look also comes from the constantly changing proportions, which do not seem intentional most of the time.