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So I've been in the process of beginning to layout the basics for a cyberpunk themed web comic. I'm a big planner, and I hate going off half-cocked, so this is all in the development stages and nothing more. Which means no art until I get the story, characters, and general starting points down. I'm posting this here to hopefully get some feedback and criticism back in terms of what direction to go in and what needs to happen to pull of a long-term web comic. So first thing first is :

Plot Concept :
The World Unified Front is rotting from the inside out, corroding all hope and future that any of its citizens may hold. The problem lies with one man, Armand Stairn, the notorious leader of the WUF. International espionage, under-the-table deals, and a list of atrocities so long it could wrap around the world twice. His strength lies in fear and propaganda. His weakness? The small group of individuals planning on shifting the power back to the people.

1st Act : (20-30 pages)
Deals specifically with introducing the world and its layout. Overview of the city, the citizens, daily life, and everything that goes down behind closed doors. Rough, dirty, gritty, and hard to deal with. The only high point is the advanced technology which in and of itself, has only managed to crutch and destroy society from the inside out. However some know how to twist technology to their own benefit, rather then the WUF agenda. The last bit would make the entrance of main character1, holding a gun and standing over a recently dead body, barrel still smoking.

2nd Act : (30-40 pages)
The beginning introduction would start with something along the lines of 'Three months. Three months I've been waiting for this, training for this, making sure every detail is perfect. Personal gun training, extensive information manipulation and data streaming, late night video surveillance. All this time and...I killed the wrong man.' It would proceed with him heading back to a rather rundown and plain apartment complex and reporting back to the other two main characters. Cutting from the three main characters it would show the peace keepers arriving at the scene of the crime, and focusing on one in particular which finds something odd with the entire situation (protagonist 1).

I have a few more chapters planned out in a very loose manner, but I figured this would be good enough to get an idea from for now. I hope. As I said, I'm still heavily in the brain storming phase and absolutely nothing is finalized from setting, characters, direction, or names.

Characters :

Main Character1 : A younger boy (18-19) of average height. His hair is dyed white along with excessive ear piercings (5 or more) and sports tattoos on his right shoulder, usually covered. His eyes are blue. Tends to wear baggy clothes; sweatshirts, heavy t shirts, etc.

The youngest of the three, he has a lot to learn and due to that he thinks he has a lot to prove. His niche lies in computer hacking and information warfare and often stumbles upon information that is damaging to his health. He's generally a teenage boy; a bit stand offish, loud, and desperate to make himself known one way or another.

Main Character2 : An older man (27-30) that stands a bit taller then most. His shaggy and unkempt brown hair matches his chin stubble rather well, he likes to think. He has no noticeable features aside from a small scar under his chest which is hidden 99% of the time, along with rich brown eyes. He wears simple suits for the most part, to make up for his rather poor class status, though it doesn't fool anyone.

The oldest of the trio, he takes everything in stride and likes to give his two-cents even when others don't necessarily want it. Generally the voice of reason, he is a calm and collected person that would like nothing more then to own a business of his own someday, though that seems highly unlikely.

Main Character3 : A rough around the edges woman (22-25) of average height. Blonde hair kept just bellow her ears, and artificial eyes that are deep red. Her most noticeable feature (aside from her eyes) is the tattoo beneath her right eye. She wears low cut vests along with a t-shirt underneath, and slender pants.

The head of the entire operation she can seem cold and aloof at points, though she generally has her team's best interest at heart. She takes care of the weapons, costs, and connections that will eventually make their overthrow possible. Her emotions can get the best of her, and its generally better not to do something wrong in regards of the operation.

Armand Stairn : The self appointed and cold hearted leader of the UWF, he rules with an iron fist and a poison tongue. Every word he says is law, regardless of how much pressure it puts on the little people. Everything he does is for self gain, and someday he hopes to achieve something far greater then what he currently has. The only question is, what?

Protagonist1 : An under payed and overworked peace keeper for the UWF he has no family to speak of aside from his often lonely cat. His work is his life and he feels personally responsible for every case that lands on his desk, no matter how trivial it may seem.

I have numerous sub characters in my head, but I'm sure that they don't need to be listed along with the main characters exactly yet in this stage.

Questions :
Do you see anything wrong/obnoxious right away with anything in general?

Any comments about using Smackjeeves as a comic hosting site for now?

Comments/Suggestions?
Main Character1 and Main Caharacter2- they're supposed to be sneaking around, and I would assume that would require them being somewhat inconspicuous, buuuut...the younger guy has dyed hair and piercings the lady has red eyes and strange(?) hair and both of them, probably most egregiously, have tattoos. Assuming that your world matches with ours where that is concerned, that's probably not the best choice for covert operatives. It's a permanent marking that cannot easily be removed or changed, and though they can be covered, I can't imagine the woman having too much luck with that as her's is on her face. Their fashion choices might make more sense in context, of course, but without it I'm a little worried.

As it stands, that's the only glaring thing I've noticed...

Good luck.
Your one-man Third Reich might need some backup. I recommend reading up on the Nazi leaders and the structure of the NSDAP in general, for ideas. If you wanna go the other way, reading up on Stalin and his paranoid shenanigans might give you some good ideas about how to write a paranoid, autocratic ruler who doesn't keep permanent allies.

Other than that? Aside from "WUF" being a funny acronym, I can't really nitpick further, just yet. It does seem odd to me that there's only one female character -- characters in isolation tend to produce problems (e.g. if she dies, it's "The Girl had to die", if she betrays the rest it's "women are fickle", etc. and you do already have a bit of "women are all over-emotional" going there), but that's just something I'd personally keep an eye on, as a writer.

EDIT: Actually. She's "cold and aloof" but also her emotions get the best of her sometimes? People who are cold and aloof are generally not incredibly outwardly emotional, regardless of their internal storms.
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                      electic rhapsody :
                      Cyberpunk deals with futuristic, well, punks. So as it would stand most of the population would have dyed hair, strange features, and general rough fashion. So if he had black combed over hair and no facial piercings I think he would stand out far more.

                      And the tattoo/piercings are there for that very reason. How are you going to have an effective detective if they can't have witnesses that can identify the main characters? I don't want them to be super-perfect mary sue assassins after all. That would be terribly boring.

                      I really appreciate the comments! Helps me think it through.

                      zee coldwater :
                      Like I said, I have numerous sub characters to deal with and back them up. Also taking the nazi leaders as reference is an amazing idea. Love reading the stuff to begin with anyways. Might give Valkyrie another watch.

                      Funny acronyms for the win. : D

                      She's the only main female character. There's about 4 other sub female characters in my head right now and there'll be more added throughout the story so I hope that'll end up balancing everyone out.

                      As for the girl issues, you can say that with any 'lone' character. Why the black man? The gay guy? The (insert minority here) but I plan to have a wide range of subcharacters to back up the main ones and add diversity so I hope that'll be avoided. Hopefully. Thank you so much for reminding me to keep an eye out on it though!

                      Also, thanks for pointing out the personality conflict.

                      Comments are appreciated and loved so far! Thank you guys so much. It helps me expand and work through everything.
Quote:
As for the girl issues, you can say that with any 'lone' character. Why the black man? The gay guy? The (insert minority here) but I plan to have a wide range of subcharacters to back up the main ones and add diversity so I hope that'll be avoided. Hopefully. Thank you so much for reminding me to keep an eye out on it though!


Yeah, that's actually exactly what I meant! You have to be very careful to avoid tokenism and the easiest way to avoid that is to not "isolate" characters by sexuality, ethnicity or gender. But good to know you're aware of this.

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