New Web Comic: Rotten break! [Looking for feed back]

[The Raving Madame]

(This thread is Under construction, I'll be adding more info soon!)

Today i launched my first comic!
Rotten Break

A slice of life comic set in a fantasy world where spirits, witches, magic and science all try to coexist, often with disastrous results! Will Emily, a young witchling cursed with bad luck, and Rags Girl, the kindly spirit of decay, be able deal with their own shortcomings in this madcap world?

In This Thread
Discussion! I want feed back! I'm not worried about the overall art quality so much as: can you understand it? Is it too dark? Too bright? Is the layout somehow confusing? ect. ect.

Comic On Smackjeeves


Rotten Break Tumblr
For concept art sneak peaks and related news!
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Info
Lots of info can be found on the tumblr or comic site itself! But feel free to ask any question you want!
If you ask a specific character a question i will reply with a drawing of them!

[The Raving Madame]

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[The Raving Madame]

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[The Raving Madame]

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[The Raving Madame]

Open for chat and questions!

[ninniku]

Your art is quite lovely, and you're doing well to be putting full backgrounds and perspective in your very first page. So much potential! And the art is not too dark at all on my monitor. perfectly legible but still looks nightly, so good job.

I do have to say that the paneling on this page is pretty confusing though. That vertical line down the whole middle sort of makes it look like it's supposed to be two pages instead of just the one. I really want to jump down to the surprised slug rather than to the surprised witch, and I had to run through it a couple times before I was certain of the order I was supposed to read it in.

And you've got all that space in the corner of the surprised witch panel. If this comic is not a silent one, I sort of think an "AUGH!" or equivalent would go really well there. I know I would be exclaiming out loud. There's also some great moments for some squishy sound effects with the slug.

[The Raving Madame]

ninniku

Your art is quite lovely, and you're doing well to be putting full backgrounds and perspective in your very first page. So much potential! And the art is not too dark at all on my monitor. perfectly legible but still looks nightly, so good job.

I do have to say that the paneling on this page is pretty confusing though. That vertical line down the whole middle sort of makes it look like it's supposed to be two pages instead of just the one. I really want to jump down to the surprised slug rather than to the surprised witch, and I had to run through it a couple times before I was certain of the order I was supposed to read it in.

And you've got all that space in the corner of the surprised witch panel. If this comic is not a silent one, I sort of think an "AUGH!" or equivalent would go really well there. I know I would be exclaiming out loud. There's also some great moments for some squishy sound effects with the slug.

Thank you! I'm trying really hard to limit myself from hardly using the "gradient" or BG-less panels i really hate those in most cases because i feel like you're suddenly removed from their world. If their characters being out to lunch or is supposed to feel removed yeah then do it, but most people just spam those for effort/time consumption saving reasons.

I'm glad about that! Coloring always gets so weird from monitor to monitor they really need to standardize things somehow.

sound and voices come in on about page 6 or 7? I tend to start stories right off with action!
And yes i agree my paneling on this page got a little weird, just due to their uneven sizes i learned my lesson though and the rest of the pages can be cut diagonally and stuff but are all evenly spaced (e.i none running up past the "line" of the panels above it like this page)

[The Raving Madame]

ninniku

I edited it a bit, how about now? i still don't want to add in a scream yet but do the other edits help?

[ninniku]

The Raving Madame

ninniku

I edited it a bit, how about now? i still don't want to add in a scream yet but do the other edits help?

Ooh, good job with the sound effects. They look nice.

They don't really help with the overall panel reading order, but I do like that it's not so silent.

I just did a little minor editing to show you a possible fix with the least amount of editing to your page for the panel order: example One of the reasons a scream bubble would be good is because the eye is automatically drawn to text, so there's more of a push to go to that scared witch. Also, by making the bottom even and the side a little closer, there's more of that compelling direction. Ideally those panels 6 and 7 would be the same height as the neighboring 4 and 5 which is something that is probably not an easy fix.

[The Raving Madame]

page 2 is up!