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It's basically as the title says. The comic is rough, angsty protagonist and the story isn't exactly going slowly. I update daily and I know it doesn't look professional, but I believe that every artist is allowed to try. I've never dared showing my work to people, and now I'm taking the chance, so I'd be grateful if someone took a look <:3
thank you in advance~^ ^
Half Headless Horseman's avatar

Tipsy Streaker

/bookmarks page/
@_@
I shall read this~ <3
IM FLAMABLE
/bookmarks page/
@_@
I shall read this~ <3


uff ;v; thank you~I hope you'll like it <:
Little Reds Hoodie's avatar

Bashful Fairy

One thing I have to compliment on, you didn't do the "yaoi hands"
(a lot of yaoi artists draw the hands HUGE. it's kind of funny, but at the same time it bothers me)
QueenTroll38's avatar

Distinct Gawker

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not trying to troll you, but you should put in more efforts into drawing p***s. it lacks detail.
succubusty's avatar

Original Ladykiller

The paneling makes it hard to follow and some pages are huge in comparison to others.
Then some of the smaller pages is impossible to read.
The story line is hard to follow also. not to mention your story telling needs work. with the whole I cant make him to therapy, I'll get him. OH LOOK I'm in therapy how did he get me to go?

I don't know, How DID they get you to go.

That is a key plot point that you just skipped over entirely(and you cant give me this "I'm not that great at drawing yet" bullshit because its wonderful practice)
That was something I kind of wanted to know. make it the next day and have that dude in a conversation that convinced him why he should go, you could have given his apparent boyfriend a soft side and built up on his character make him 3 dimensional.

I understand your going for the dark drug abusing gay boy, but all of that is unrealistic.
I have tons of gay friends who are in that lifestyle and none of that s**t happens.
The limo, the fact that EVERYONE wants to ******** him. Its too much, then you don't
give a reason why your uke is so desirable.

Then the fact that he is so "damaged" it makes me care less about him and I find my self annoyed with they way he presents himself. Some times you just need to tone it down. Yes I understand that's what you're going for but mixing good in there makes the bad times seem worse. The goal for a character like that is you want to feel sympathy for them, not annoyance.

I could go on since I found ALOT of flaws story wise, But...

I'll leave you with this, instead of posting daily, slow down and post weekly.
Nothing wrong with going slow. Slow down the updates to provide quality over quantity, slow do the story line so it gives the readers greater understanding over what is going on , who the characters are and why you should like them, and the over all why you should care.

Write down your story if you have to in advanced then make one page per paragraph, and if its still too much, half of the paragraph for one page.

Make the panels bigger , give more room to tell where they are and what's going on . You zoom in way to much on there faces and you're left with a page of close ups and text that is just smooched in there. Then there is too much blank background with no sense of where the characters are in the area.

Then your speech bubbles look like they were drawn before you wrote what they were going to say.

You need space in between your panels, make it flow so that it is easy on the readers eyes. Because like said before I had no idea half the time if it was read left to right or right to left.
It feels like you're at limited rescores with paper, but still proper paneling can go a long way.

the art its self needs a lot of work but I'll cut you some slack on that, work on anatomy and proportions (they post plenty of links here so I'm sure you can find a few) I would suggest cleaning up your work, and try to find a proper inking method. Stop zooming in on there eyes so much and work on body shots and facial expressions. It makes a world of difference.

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