XMegantronX
well...i'm only a few pages in so far and i'm so lost...
first thing. she says she can see white, black, and orange patterns and somehow that translates to her seeing extremely high and low heat traces? o.O then a page after establishing that, she says she can see blue dots. i thought she only saw white, black and orange?
Oh, nice catch! I didn't even realize that and I've re-read the comic quite a few times myself.
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and if the main character thinks that the vampire boy is human (cosplayer) then why is she not concerned that she can see him like she does other ghosts. do real people and ghosts look alike to her? if so, then she can really see perfectly fine with the added ability of seeing ghosts?
Hm, nice, I'm liking your questions a lot. I should hire you as a reviewer for each chapter I release, hahahah! But getting back to your question - the only explanation I can give you is that on this
page Lucy says that Derek's heat signature is not ghostly. So at that point she starts realizing that he's not a ghost. Five pages later he starts telling his story and that confirms for her that he's not a ghost.
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sudden yuri romance? that seemed really random. o.O even the language she uses seems out of character (even though it's the beginning.) i would have included minor flirting before leading up to this and maybe a close-up glamour shot of Dory in the main character's mind. basically, how the main character sees her as sexy. because in that shot dory doesn't look very sexy. she looks worn out.
I agree and I've actually been yelled at for that page, heheh!
sweatdrop I'll have to fix her text so it's not as flirty.
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and you don't really need the words *jump* and *step* to let us know that they're jumping or stepping. we should be able to tell from the art alone.
I've actually seen this done in some professional comics, I thought it was nice so that why I did it too.
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wait...the next time we see our main character she has no clothes on...did she just have sex with 2 other people still in the room!? DX dear god...
Hahahah! Gosh, I'm so sorry that you're so confused!
gonk Y'see, in this
page, second panel, you see Lucy taking her shirt off.
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so the main character is looking at people just fine so i'm assuming she's not really blind and just sees weird colors.
Well, yes and no. What I'm trying to convey is that her vision is supposed to be exactly like
this.
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o.O why did derek call lucy tiny boobies? seems random. and then he comments on the other girl's boob size. kinda makes him seem sleazy. is the first thing he notices about girls is their boob size? derek is becoming more and more unlikable because it seems all he's concerned with are boobs. he doesn't even acknowledge the girls by name, but boob size.
There's a pretty silly reason for that. I'll eventually have to explain it.
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ok, now lucy is hitting on liz? is she just crushing on everyone whom she finds attractive?
lol, yea. Well, more like her favorite friends. Next up it's Rachel!
xd
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*face palm* all the guys except the dead vamp are idiots...and pretty sexist.
You must mean Derek and Dwayne in that order. There's a legit reason why Derek is so dense. Same goes for Dwayne... I... just haven't released it yet. Sorry, my comic takes forever to work on.
sweatdrop
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ugh...i couldn't read the whole thing. too many plot holes and i don't really care about what happens to any of the characters. i got to clash II or whatever so i read most of it. after that many chapters, i should have learned more about the characters and actually care about someone, but i just don't. they end up annoying me more than anything else. your characters end up being one of 3 things: a girl, a dumb guy obsessed with boobs every 2 seconds, or serious but lack of character.
That's alright. My friend told me the same exact thing.
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the art is ok. there are some anatomy issues and i can tell where you really cut the corners on backgrounds, but i was able to tell what things were. don't rush on line work. take more time on it because it's lacking right now.
Yup, backgrounds have never been my thing. Heck, I even drew what was supposed to be building but with no windows. That was pretty shameful.
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sorry if this sounds harsh, but the story is what's really the killer. no likable characters+ no engaging story=disinterest. i think a greater effort should have been put in to making the people seem more real.
good luck on future works, though :/ again, hope i wasn't too harsh. just thought you should know.
It's all good. I rarely get any feedback anyways, you must be like my third or fourth person giving me a legit review, so I appreciate it. Thank you so much.