Welcome to Gaia! ::

That was great. Random, but great.
Gamer Meley's avatar

Friendly Conversationalist

5,950 Points
  • Forum Regular 100
  • Generous 100
Everything is really great here, and very intriguing!

I really believe however, that the last panel should be changed. Having an oval on top of a half oval negatively affects the flow of the comic; in my opinion. It can be confusing, and the impact isn't as dynamic, or strong.

What I would suggest, alternatively, is cutting the bottom part out, and making the panel a rectangle that stretches to the edge of the page on both sides. You always want a concluding panel to 'stand out' in one way or another. But, currently it blends in with the rest of the comic. By using a rectangle, the flow will be more obvious, and the layout more 'organized'.

Other than that, you may want to consider expanding the story to a few more pages. Unless the entire point of this comic is to be unnerving, I'm pretty sure most readers will have difficulty understanding the under laying purpose.

Personally, I really like what you have done here. The use of black and white go really well together, and your particular art style compliments it as well. The illustrations within the frames look great regarding layout and character positioning.

So overall, really well done here. 3nodding
the little madeleine girl's avatar

Dapper Dabbler

9,250 Points
  • Forum Sophomore 300
  • Tycoon 200
  • Battle: Rogue 100

it looks great! i love how the reader gets to interpret it in his/her own way.
the art is looking good and the story is very interesting.
Gamer Meley
Everything is really great here, and very intriguing!

I really believe however, that the last panel should be changed. Having an oval on top of a half oval negatively affects the flow of the comic; in my opinion. It can be confusing, and the impact isn't as dynamic, or strong.

What I would suggest, alternatively, is cutting the bottom part out, and making the panel a rectangle that stretches to the edge of the page on both sides. You always want a concluding panel to 'stand out' in one way or another. But, currently it blends in with the rest of the comic. By using a rectangle, the flow will be more obvious, and the layout more 'organized'.

Other than that, you may want to consider expanding the story to a few more pages. Unless the entire point of this comic is to be unnerving, I'm pretty sure most readers will have difficulty understanding the under laying purpose.

Personally, I really like what you have done here. The use of black and white go really well together, and your particular art style compliments it as well. The illustrations within the frames look great regarding layout and character positioning.

So overall, really well done here. 3nodding


Thanks very much for all of the kind words.

I think that, graphically, what you're saying about the ovals makes sense. I was experimenting with the layout.

My goal for this comic was more to illustrate a single moment then to tell a story. While time is passing and the comic reads left to right, there wasn't really supposed to be an "end panel" if that makes any sense. I wouldn't say it was the entire point, but unnerving does fit the bill.


So I said when I posted this that I would explain my meaning behind the comic. This comic is a metaphor for growing up. Nobody has guessed that when I showed it to them, but I'm okay with that.
This. is. AWESOME! eek
For some reason I really like the ovals! The little guy is adorable as well
Oh, I love it. Wish there was more. That creature thing is great.
Thanks guys smile
Maelstream's avatar

Shirtless Millionaire

13,800 Points
  • Alchemy Level 3 100
  • Perfect Attendance 400
  • Millionaire 200
There's an alien, yes. The father and son stumbeled upon it? They had been camping..
Dread Templar's avatar

Eloquent Lunatic

8,600 Points
  • Brandisher 100
  • Citizen 200
  • Risky Lifestyle 100
i read this and followed the lay out just fine, I Immediately think of a couple of campers and a boo from mario

Quick Reply

Submit
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games