House Boat temporary link, first chapter unfinished

[blinkanjell01]

I'm not gonna post the art right now as I'm curious about how the story might go over with unbiased strangers, so here's the basic story:

Two girls rooming together (one french, one english) on the northern coast of france awake one day to find a house has washed up on their beach. While exploring it, it gets washed out to sea. The girls float aimlessly and need to overcome their cultural and lingual differences in order to somehow get home safe in this seemingly hopeless situation.

Thoughts?

edit: upon suggestion, here's a sample page, unfinished
http://tinypic.com/r/w1b686/4

Edit: Here is a peek at the unfinished, unedited untoned chapter of House Boat. Let me know what you think! http://fox-soap.com/tank/tank.php?p=1

[Sera Michaelis]

While that's not much to go on, it already sounds really nice and interesting. I assume you'll be going for a more whimsical feel? Since the idea of a house floating around the ocean is a bit... fantastic. But it seems like a good story in the making. More info about the two girls maybe? I'm curious.

Edit: The art is nice! Black-haired girl looks kinda evil. I guess she's the serious one.

[blinkanjell01]

Synyster Slash

While that's not much to go on, it already sounds really nice and interesting. I assume you'll be going for a more whimsical feel? Since the idea of a house floating around the ocean is a bit... fantastic. But it seems like a good story in the making. More info about the two girls maybe? I'm curious.

thanks for commenting :O The French girl's name is Hortense, and she's living with her poor aunt. She's currently renting out her extra room to the English girl, Edith, who recently transferred into Hortense's school. Hortense is reserved and cynical, and like most french, prefers not to speak english when she doesn't have to, but Edith refuses to learn any french. A lot of tension in that whole arena.

[KayJKay]

I just want to state this to ALL THE IDIOTS THAT HAVE EVER SAID THERE ARE NO ORIGINAL IDEAS (because they couldn't think of their own)...

HERE IS ONE.

I dig the premise AND the sample page. Please, continue, and touch base here.

[Mr McGrumpypants]

FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU...

You bring this back when you have comic pages! YOU DO IT! [/crazed look]

This should prove interesting.

[ninota]

Oh this sucks, I came here hoping to see something horrible but I love the idea and the art. sad

[blinkanjell01]

kind words, you guys! i've been dragging my heels a lot getting pages done the past few weeks because of school and such but this sort of thing motivates me to get my butt back in gear. i'll post some more art a little later. i'm having a bit of trouble with the stiffness of the characters (i'm used to drawing stand-alone illustrations, not comics) but i think some of the newer pages flow a lot better.

i'm also gonna push myself to try inking with a brush a couple times, for more line variation. i am terrible at it but everyone points me in that direction. any suggestions for a pen that might give good variation?

[Kupocake]

I love the concept and the page teaser really is good enough to pull me in. I do hope you make more, this is wonderful.

I can't wait to read more of this. 3nodding

[Marty Nozz]

I like it. Wish the sample page had some backgrounds, but the character work is nice. Oh look! Noses that aren't just a bent line! surprised

[blinkanjell01]

Marty Nozz

I like it. Wish the sample page had some backgrounds, but the character work is nice. Oh look! Noses that aren't just a bent line! surprised

backgrounds are something i always battle with, and i'm forcing myself to add it even when i don't want to, so that page is gonna be added to. noses really are such a lovely part of the face, i'm afraid sometimes mine all end up looking the same! :[

anyways guys, here are a couple more pages for your consideration.

http://tinypic.com/r/2j17clk/4
http://tinypic.com/r/rtnnzk/4

a whole lot of cleaning up needs to be done, but it's coming along.

[ninota]

God, I am in love with your style. It's so refreshing to see something original and well-drawn for a change. Bravo.

[Marty Nozz]

Backgrounds are a pain for me too, but damn it is satisfying when they turn out nice.

The next two pages are good. Hortense's feet look a bit awkward where they meet the floor, but its not terrible. I do like that you have them speaking French. Nice to see Franch people speaking French since this forum in hip deep in twerps coming in here with Japanese characters that don't speak Japanese.

I don't speak French, just your art gets me through the scene with a good idea of what's going on. Well done.

[blinkanjell01]

Marty Nozz

I don't speak French, just your art gets me through the scene with a good idea of what's going on. Well done.

honestly what a relief! i wanted to try making the dialogue honest and not translate the french, but let the art hint to what might be said. I wanted to avoid doing the whole <they are speaking another language here> bracket thing.

[blinkanjell01]

ninota

God, I am in love with your style. It's so refreshing to see something original and well-drawn for a change. Bravo.

so sweet :[ my style is still pretty derivative but i like to think i have a good lock on how i want things to look at this point.

[Marty Nozz]

blinkanjell01

Marty Nozz

I don't speak French, just your art gets me through the scene with a good idea of what's going on. Well done.

honestly what a relief! i wanted to try making the dialogue honest and not translate the french, but let the art hint to what might be said. I wanted to avoid doing the whole <they are speaking another language here> bracket thing.

One of my favorite comics is Queen and Country and they do that quite a bit. Although they do usually translate the Russian, because swearing in Russian is such nuanced thing, it's a wonder to behold. The French they leave be.