FLAMELESS!

[Snow_Bandit]

Astar Pendragon is a young boy born of a unique people known as the DRAGON KIN . Unlike them however, he was not blessed with the gift to breathe fire and without this he can never hope to beome a true DRAGON. So he leaves his tribe one day and into a world that he has never experienced in an attempt to discover his inner flame and cease to remain FLAMELESS!


This is the synopsis to my manga FLAMELESS! currently running on http://www.mangamagazine.net/manga-and-comics/FLAMELESS/detail-page/331

your more than welcome to go and give it a read smile Feed back is also welcome. Also updates are every week.


Also, come on over to deviantart and check out my gallery smile http://snow-bandit.deviantart.com/

[Kiri-Paz]

whee allright !!! i read it and i loved it =D

[Niiwa]

Is...
Is that comic sans...?
I can't- I just, I just can't. I'm sorry. I'll be back later.

[Snow_Bandit]

Niiwa

Is...
Is that comic sans...?
I can't- I just, I just can't. I'm sorry. I'll be back later.

haha I'm confused? o.o

[Kupocake]

Snow_Bandit

Niiwa

Is...
Is that comic sans...?
I can't- I just, I just can't. I'm sorry. I'll be back later.

haha I'm confused? o.o

Comic Sans is generally frowned upon in artist circles; it's seen as unprofessional and just all around not a very good looking font. There are plenty of good comic-type fonts in Blambot.com, not to mention you can make your own. I also suggest think about how your letters are spaced in each bubble. For example, less spacing between each line of words would be good, and centering it would make it look better.

[Fansub]

Why the Japanese sound effects? Why are the word balloons thin? What's with the translation artifacts?

[Snow_Bandit]

Fansub

Why the Japanese sound effects? Why are the word balloons thin? What's with the translation artifacts?

YES! awesome, awesome! I need this feed back thanks! smile such a huge help XD. I will take heed of this While working on chapter two smile

[Snow_Bandit]

Kupocake

Snow_Bandit

Niiwa

Is...
Is that comic sans...?
I can't- I just, I just can't. I'm sorry. I'll be back later.

haha I'm confused? o.o

Comic Sans is generally frowned upon in artist circles; it's seen as unprofessional and just all around not a very good looking font. There are plenty of good comic-type fonts in Blambot.com, not to mention you can make your own. I also suggest think about how your letters are spaced in each bubble. For example, less spacing between each line of words would be good, and centering it would make it look better.

THANKS! I already went and downloaded a bunch of knew fonts XD I will take all of this into consideration while working on the second chapter! This is my first time actually trying to get serious at making a professional comic and so far all that I have been getting is positive feedback lol. I need critique to grow so you are a huge help smile I hope you will follow my progress and nudge me in the right direction when I slip XD. wink

[Snow_Bandit]

Snow_Bandit

Fansub

Why the Japanese sound effects? Why are the word balloons thin? What's with the translation artifacts?

YES! awesome, awesome! I need this feed back thanks! smile such a huge help XD. I will take heed of this While working on chapter two smile

Oh and generally, how thick should the word balloons be? Also haha I was trying out the japanese to try and make everything look cool but I agree with you there. I have read and re-read my prologue over and over but it just doesnt sit right with me. I am working really hard at not making these errors in chapter one and I hope that you stick around to follow my progress till then and beyond smile

[Snow_Bandit]

Kupocake

Snow_Bandit

Niiwa

Is...
Is that comic sans...?
I can't- I just, I just can't. I'm sorry. I'll be back later.

haha I'm confused? o.o

Comic Sans is generally frowned upon in artist circles; it's seen as unprofessional and just all around not a very good looking font. There are plenty of good comic-type fonts in Blambot.com, not to mention you can make your own. I also suggest think about how your letters are spaced in each bubble. For example, less spacing between each line of words would be good, and centering it would make it look better.

Haha! and hey I watch you on deviant!.lol XD I go by snow-bandit there smile

[Fansub]

Snow_Bandit

Snow_Bandit

Fansub

Why the Japanese sound effects? Why are the word balloons thin? What's with the translation artifacts?

YES! awesome, awesome! I need this feed back thanks! smile such a huge help XD. I will take heed of this While working on chapter two smile

Oh and generally, how thick should the word balloons be? Also haha I was trying out the japanese to try and make everything look cool but I agree with you there. I have read and re-read my prologue over and over but it just doesnt sit right with me. I am working really hard at not making these errors in chapter one and I hope that you stick around to follow my progress till then and beyond smile

Just look at English language comics for reference on what the word balloons should look like.

[Snow_Bandit]

Fansub

Snow_Bandit

Snow_Bandit

Fansub

Why the Japanese sound effects? Why are the word balloons thin? What's with the translation artifacts?

YES! awesome, awesome! I need this feed back thanks! smile such a huge help XD. I will take heed of this While working on chapter two smile

Oh and generally, how thick should the word balloons be? Also haha I was trying out the japanese to try and make everything look cool but I agree with you there. I have read and re-read my prologue over and over but it just doesnt sit right with me. I am working really hard at not making these errors in chapter one and I hope that you stick around to follow my progress till then and beyond smile

Just look at English language comics for reference on what the word balloons should look like.

ok awesome, although I will probably just stick with making my own style of bubbles smile

[IronSpike]

Snow_Bandit

ok awesome, although I will probably just stick with making my own style of bubbles smile

That's not "your style" of "bubbles." Those are word balloons directly inspired by and copied from translated manga.

The text in Japanese manga reads vertically. That means the word balloons in manga are tall and skinny. The text in American comics reads horizontally. So, the balloons are wider than they are tall. You've mistaken a translation artifact for a stylistic choice. That's not a style. That's a balloon designed to be filled with Japanese text.

When you (or translators) cram English into Japanese word balloons, the text is broken up awkwardly, sometimes limited to as little as one word per line, and there are massive gulfs of blank space on the top and bottom of the balloon. This is unattractive. But fixing it would require extensive retouching and compromise the panel structure, so anyone interested in preserving the integrity of the comic doesn't bother.

I repeat: That is not a style. You are mimicking a translation artifact.

You are writing an original English language comic for an English-speaking audience. Comic text is about clarity and communication. Use wide, short word balloons meant for languages that read horizontally and will fit English text comfortably.

[Snow_Bandit]

IronSpike

Snow_Bandit

ok awesome, although I will probably just stick with making my own style of bubbles smile

That's not "your style" of "bubbles." Those are word balloons directly inspired by and copied from translated manga.

The text in Japanese manga reads vertically. That means the word balloons in manga are tall and skinny. The text in American comics reads horizontally. So, the balloons are wider than they are tall. You've mistaken a translation artifact for a stylistic choice. That's not a style. That's a balloon designed to be filled with Japanese text.

When you (or translators) cram English into Japanese word balloons, the text is broken up awkwardly, sometimes limited to as little as one word per line, and there are massive gulfs of blank space on the top and bottom of the balloon. This is unattractive. But fixing it would require extensive retouching and compromise the panel structure, so anyone interested in preserving the integrity of the comic doesn't bother.

I repeat: That is not a style. You are mimicking a translation artifact.

You are writing an original English language comic for an English-speaking audience. Comic text is about clarity and communication. Use wide, short word balloons meant for languages that read horizontally and will fit English text comfortably.

Ok I will definitely keep that In mind for the future. Although I do not agree with you 100%, Yes I do read japanese manga but I do not 'copy' anything my friend. I only draw them in the format which is most common in manga . Have you ever heard of gomanga?http://www.gomanga.com/index.php Well they are also known as seven seas an oel manga company. They publish mangas outside of america but they are most known for publishing high quality oel mangas as well. For instance, Amazing Agent Luna.http://www.gomanga.com/manga/aal.php They use the same bubble format, with thin speech bubbles, and it's the same for EVERY oel manga on there(haha I am not going to post links to everyone so you wil have to check yourself). I also read Comics so I understand what your saying about their style of speech bubbles, but also understand that I am trying to make manga, I don't think that the type of speech bubbles your referring to would look very attractive in a manga styled format. I thank you for your advice smile and hope you have a better insight on where I stand. I am knew to the comic world, but not as an artist. Please bare with me haha.

[IronSpike]

Nothing you've said or linked disputes the fact that you're reproducing a translation artifact you've mistaken for a stylistic choice. The word balloons aren't drawn that way because that's how you do it in manga, they're drawn that way because manga is Japanese. Finding other people who are committing the same error doesn't make that choice good judgement.

And you are copying. Not plagiarizing, but you're clearly imitating manga. You certainly didn't cook up that artistic style in a vaccum. Your SFX are even in Japanese, with translations in editorial text outside the panel. Another translation artifact, or will you claim that's a stylistic choice as well? You are doing things that don't make sense in the context of an English language comic for an English speaking audience. You are needlessly exoticising your work to make it look like something it's not. You are copying. I can practically guess your age from how devoted you are to making sure you're producing "real" manga. it's a phase a lot of artists go through.

Misshapen word balloons designed for another language look gimpy when misapplied. Accept that or don't. Your choice.