If Death's My b***h is going to be your Big Serious Comic Work, be aware that you will probably always want to restart because you've learned more since before. Resist that temptation or else you will never get it finished. I started over my comic three or four times. It's been over 5 years and I am not even started anymore because my a** decided to start over again! Don't do what I did.
This comic is starting off so slowly that I wouldn't argue very passionately against restarting this time, but see if you can't just tidy it up minimally instead of starting all over.
Here's how I'd edit it:
-> Evaluate each page and ask yourself, "Does this develop a character? Does this reveal something about the character that will come up in the plot later? Does this move the current plot forward?" If the answer is no to all 3, remove it.
Page 1: Reveals nothing about any character, establishes no setting.
Page 2: Reveals nothing that the story won't reveal itself because it's about your main character's attitude towards death, and you might as well show, not tell.
Page 3: Keep it, it's the strongest thing here, commands attention, etc., and can be a good opening.
Page 4: Chapter title (works as a transition).
Page 5: We learn the main character's name and that he sleeps on a couch, sufficient.
Page 6: We see the family members, and the mother mentioning "I need the hours" following that Theodore sleeps on a couch is a nice establishing of 'We are poor." Keep it.
Page 7: Unless Zoey's food allergies come up later in the plot, like she nearly dies, this doesn't reveal anything significant about Zoey.
Page 8: did not reveal anything to me about the plot. I did not know that that was a bruise on his back.
Page 9: If you cut out page 8, there is continuity between pages 7 and 9. The panel that is next-to-last can be redrawn to how a shot of his back that reveals the wound he has while he gets dressed.
Page 10: Axe it. It does not reveal anything, does not move the plot forward, and does not really show any details which will come up later ("Chekov's Gun"
wink .
- Fix all of your lettering mistakes according to
Amateur Lettering Mistakes
- Kill pages 1 and 2. They contribute nothing: removing them removes nothing.
- Rethink how you present the chapter opening (Chapter One: Henry). You should keep it so you can transition between "here's the intro" and "This is another scene," but as for the art, keep this in mind for future chapter opening pieces: Chapter opening artwork pieces are generally a waste of your time unless they are designed so that you can use them promotionally (posters, desktop wallpapers, prints). It is up to you whether the "Chapter One: Henry" image is worth using like that, but, I personally feel that it is too weak to command a lot of visual attention and be distributed.
-> Fix the tangenton page five. Page five has Theodore's crotch saying, "Coming." You may want to re-position the tail so that it doesn't appear that his p***s is talking.
How to save your future pages:
-> Avoid tangents towards the crotch in the future. Page five has Theodore's crotch saying, "Coming." You may want to reposition the tail so that it doesn't appear that his p***s is talking.
->
Read Amateur Lettering Mistakes if you haven't.
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Use a suitable typeface and appropriate speech balloons.
Comics are a balancing act of your various communication skills, and if one sector is poor (your handle on lighting and anatomy for instance), you need to rock on other sectors (the formal factors of your comic's presentation: the lettering and how to present it properly on the page is more subjective, but not entirely subjective, than paneling, lighting, and other visual communication).
Instead, Use something that is suited for comics by sheer fact of it being used everywhere alone, or use something that is deliberately chosen to compliment your style. Do not go smaller than 12 point. Try:
UPPERCASE ONLY:
Anime Ace 2.0
Crimefighter BB
Manga Master
Upper And Lower Case:
Nightwatcher
And draw word balloons properly, with the proper padding, and with the tails going to the mouths wherever possible and being of consistent width. That alone will improve your comic incredibly.
->
Consider light source when you color.
Lighting is an opportunity to introduce a lot of drama into a scene, and also to communicate form. Pick a light source in a scene and stick to it. You do not appear to pay attention to light source, either because you actually did not pay attention to it, or because you do not know how. Which is the case? I may point you to some tutorials.
->
Sketch your pages rather than finishing them, then let others edit it so you can build a consciousness of how well or not-well you are communicating.
Post your in-progress pages here and I'm sure you will be assisted.
->
Sketch and measure before you ink and learn how to communicate volume.
It appears you start finishing before you are finished. Your proportions are often off in a way that is not excusable by style. You NEED to check your proportions while you sketch, deliberately. Even six years from now when you've got a stellar education in your trade, you will need to check your proportions. If you purposefully pay attention to the proportions of the body, you can improve your art dramatically. If you think in 3D and sculpt through sketching, you will also improve your art dramatically. Do both at the same time. Here:
-> Go trace photographs. I am completely god damned serious. Print them out and draw on top of them or import a screenshot into your digital art software, and forget people who will freak out because you dared to trace because you're not going to make it into a artpiece or attempt to hide that you traced. You're going to do this:
-> Pinstripe the person. Draw lines on the person from the top down as if someone had literally painted their skin in vertical pinstripes, like tehy're wearing
a pinstripe zentai suit (SFW link).
-> Do the same thing horizontally,
like this (SFW link).
-> Do it again, horizontally and vertically.
-> Do it again, but now instead of controlled lines tracing the imagined contours of the body to communicate a 3D form, draw lines wrapping the figure as if you are making a
wrapped wire sculpture out of a single, infinite piece of wire. Try not to lift your pencil unless you have to. Do it slowly, then do it again more quickly, then do it again as fast as you can.
Do this as many times as you need to until it clicks. I'd recommend sitting down for an hour and doing it deliberately for an hour, leaving and doing something else for an hour or so, then coming back and doing it again and see what you've sort of 'absorbed' from having done it.
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