Daëlites - BL (Yaoi) webcomic

[nightshade259]

Ysanmyth

As for the onomatopoeias, I won't change this. This comic is made to be like a manga. I don't know if you read manga, maybe not, but compared to a manga, I even didn't put enough onomatopoeias. They "translate" everything on onomatopeias, which I even find it sometimes a bit too much. The concept of onomatopoeias in a manga is to emphasize every movements of the characters, every action, every detail.
But this too, I'm aware some people might don't like it and/or find there's too much of them smile But that's how manga works, and even if some people don't like it, I won't change this smile

You talk about the context (when the action takes place, where, etc). Is it important in a Fantasy story? Well, yes, it can be important according to the story, etc. But there's just only 13 pages there (and they'll change). I could have put somewhere "La'angva, year ***". But what is La'angva? In which country? And year **** based on which calendar?
I think giving the readers a geographical context or a date is not necessary in the first 13 pages of a comic. I don't say it's useless, but just not necessary.

The thing about the onomatopoeias is a lie. Not all of them use them like god. Some mangas rarely use them. Plus the one I read they don't translate them, so they look more artistic and less like words.
As for Context it is very important. If I can't understand a story in the first few pages I quit. So context is very important even for fantasy. So the first few pages are the most important

[Ysanmyth]

nightshade259

Ysanmyth

As for the onomatopoeias, I won't change this. This comic is made to be like a manga. I don't know if you read manga, maybe not, but compared to a manga, I even didn't put enough onomatopoeias. They "translate" everything on onomatopeias, which I even find it sometimes a bit too much. The concept of onomatopoeias in a manga is to emphasize every movements of the characters, every action, every detail.
But this too, I'm aware some people might don't like it and/or find there's too much of them smile But that's how manga works, and even if some people don't like it, I won't change this smile

You talk about the context (when the action takes place, where, etc). Is it important in a Fantasy story? Well, yes, it can be important according to the story, etc. But there's just only 13 pages there (and they'll change). I could have put somewhere "La'angva, year ***". But what is La'angva? In which country? And year **** based on which calendar?
I think giving the readers a geographical context or a date is not necessary in the first 13 pages of a comic. I don't say it's useless, but just not necessary.

The thing about the onomatopoeias is a lie. Not all of them use them like god. Some mangas rarely use them. Plus the one I read they don't translate them, so they look more artistic and less like words.
As for Context it is very important. If I can't understand a story in the first few pages I quit. So context is very important even for fantasy. So the first few pages are the most important

Okay, so, in my comic, and even if I count something like "chirp chirp" as 2 onomatopoeias:
Page 1 : 1 onomatopoeia
Page 2 : 2
Page 3 : 2
Page 4 : 5
Page 5 : 1
Page 6 : 3
Page 7 : 2
Etc.

Now, take a look at this, from Sora o Daite Oyasume by Kyuugo (team: Dangerous Pleasure):

: 9 onomatopoeias

: 6

: 1

: 2

: 4

: 3

What is true is that the onomatopoeia in our comic might not be "discreet" enough. I can easily admit it. It's our first webcomic, we're still trying and testing ourselves. But too much? Did you ever pay attention to the sounds around you? Just once? Every sound your foot make when you walk, the sound of the breathing of some people (some people are really noisy when they breath), the sound of the street, like this car which might have a problem with its silencer, or this same kid who is always crying outside, the dog barking at 8am, the neighbours walking heavily, the wind on your window, etc.
Some pages don't have a single word, they're like "silent". If you don't speak, don't your hear more sounds around you? Oh, and some pages don't have a single onomatopoeia too.

BUT... I can understand that some people find there's too much of them, we're all different after all, and have different tastes, that's more than normal. I might make them a bit more discreet, some fonts are a bit heavy. But I most probably won't put less of them. This is how I wanted those things.

Anyway, thanks for your comment, nightshade259, it's always good to have "negative" comments, it helps reconsidering things and seeing if we want to change them or not wink

[Ysanmyth]

[~Ramble.Corset~]

city hall > deli(meat) store ;D

Culture never kills: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deli (I like the last one XD)
I doubt all these are funny or ridiculous just because it can mean "meat store"... lol But funny details like that still stay funny razz
People have to open the frontiers of their imagination if they want to read Fantasy razz

nightshade259

As for Context it is very important. If I can't understand a story in the first few pages I quit. So context is very important even for fantasy. So the first few pages are the most important

Forgot to answer to this razz
So I searched for some random "Fantasy" manga. And here what I saw:
One Piece: first 20 pages and we don't know where we are, or when
xxxHOLIC: first 20 pages and we dont know where we are, or when
Silver Diamond: same thing
Full Metal Alchemist: same thing
They're all big manga, very VERY good sales (except maybe Silver Diamond since it's kind of shounen ai, I think. Never read it).

You're totally right when you say context is important, but it depends a lot of how you tell your story. Some authors like to immerse their readers in their world, without explaining everything in the first pages. The readers can imagine things and we just add some hints along the story (most probably in the first chapter). If in page 14 I tell people the action takes place in a town called La'angva, then they'll know the name of the town but the still can imagine the whole world. Reading is a different experience for each reader. My point as a writer is to make the reader imagine a bit, and not handing him everything on a plate right away, starting with a little point then zoom out to a whole view.

But since the beginning of the story will change, maybe the fact that there's no context indication in the first pages won't have the same "effect".


Well, thanks again to you two! It's really important to us to have various comments like yours! wink

[[~Ramble.Corset~]]

nightshade259

As for Context it is very important. If I can't understand a story in the first few pages I quit. So context is very important even for fantasy. So the first few pages are the most important

I think 20 pages is a bit too harsh, I'd be more concerned about pacing, plot and character development than giving a thorough context or world background in the first chapter, usually if written well that sort of stuff becomes secondary or revealed as things go on (eg. soul eater, people transforming into weapons > where the HELL are we????)

[WingedObsession]

I liked this comic. The story is a little hard to follow. I would think about revising the storyboard so it is more reader-friendly.

[-2o]

Please dont bump things that are months old