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Dangerous Hunter

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<PM me if you wish to converse about art>
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I would love to help you out...however...I don't have a short story. Most of mine go three four books deep. I have a story that fits your art style...but again it's not short.
Kyousouka's avatar

Shadowy Phantom

Unless you have a very good reason to make your story right to left, don't do it. Some good reasons would be:
- If the text will be in a language that reads right to left
- Your specifically want to target people who are used to reading translated manga and want to exclude everyone else.
- The story has something to do with left/right or reading patterns and the art-text direction clash provides a desirable unsettling effect (mind, this will be lost on people used to translated manga).

Similarly, don't make your speech bubbles tall rather than wide unless your comic is in a language is written that way, or you know how to write dialogue that reads better 1-2 words at a time. Some writers can pull it off well, but the vast majority don't give it enough thought and end up making dialogue that's a pain to read simply due to its formatting.

And on a related note: Don't copy the formatting quirks of manga such as the long dash in words, unless you actually know what it's for, the effect it has on your intended audience, and specifically need it. To someone not used to it, and even to some who are, it looks really stupid and "trying too hard to be manga", which detracts from what could otherwise be a good-looking comic.


A lot of the formatting you might associate with manga is actually undesirable artifacts of the translation process where they have to fit English text and SFX into artwork not meant for it at all. As an artist with the luxury to make your artwork fit the language and audience you're writing for, you should aim for what tells your story most effectively and with the least distractions, instead of trying to imitate unintentional flaws of your favourite works (flaws that weren't even put there by the artist!).


Formatting aside, it's hard to give critique on one page. I think you're toning too much. It would work if the style was more fully rendered with more realistic lighting and such, but it doesn't look like you have a good idea of where the light in each scene is or how the shadows should look, instead you're layering on tones. The window panel in particular is difficult to understand because the shadows make no sense.
Keep it simple. Let your lineart to more work, and use tones to create washes and large areas of shadow. Don't plaster them on.

Think of tones like sugar in a cake: Some sugar can make the cake taste delicious, but if it's all sugar, the cake won't even rise when you bake it! It won't even look like a cake!

If you want to create a dark atmosphere, think about using spot blacks (solid areas of black) instead of tones. Often, some stark contrast between black and white looks and feels darker than something full of greys, even though objectively the grey has more darkness. Look up Vic Mignogna, Nihei Tsutomu, Sean Gordon Murphy, Hirano Kouta. These guys know how to make things look dark with no/minimal tones, and sometimes even with very little black!
I also recommend checking out "How to Draw Noir Comics" by Shawn Martinbrough. It's meant for noir comics as the title says, but it's primarily about composition and working with shadow, things which will benefit you no matter what sort of comic you want to make.
Old Sess Account's avatar

Dangerous Hunter

Kyousouka


Oh my.
That's some delicious & intelligent feedback.
Much appreciated.
I shall take a step back in this style and approach in a different direction.
Thank you.
Old Sess Account's avatar

Dangerous Hunter

Snowblazer
I would love to help you out...however...I don't have a short story. Most of mine go three four books deep. I have a story that fits your art style...but again it's not short.


I'm sure I have come across a forum of yours before.
Have you not already found a good partner to clash minds with?
Snowblazer's avatar

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Im Just a Sadist
Snowblazer
I would love to help you out...however...I don't have a short story. Most of mine go three four books deep. I have a story that fits your art style...but again it's not short.


I'm sure I have come across a forum of yours before.
Have you not already found a good partner to clash minds with?
Yes, however I can still do one time projects. Did I missread your post?
Old Sess Account's avatar

Dangerous Hunter

Snowblazer
Im Just a Sadist
Snowblazer
I would love to help you out...however...I don't have a short story. Most of mine go three four books deep. I have a story that fits your art style...but again it's not short.


I'm sure I have come across a forum of yours before.
Have you not already found a good partner to clash minds with?
Yes, however I can still do one time projects. Did I missread your post?


No, you didn't.
I did say just a short story after all.
But I was also opening my hand out to the writers who have no artist.
There seem to be a lot of them on here.
You yourself, seem very skilled.
I'd like to keep you in my pocket if possible.
Great minds are always a pleasure to talk to.
Snowblazer's avatar

Devoted Friend

10,500 Points
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Im Just a Sadist
Snowblazer
Im Just a Sadist
Snowblazer
I would love to help you out...however...I don't have a short story. Most of mine go three four books deep. I have a story that fits your art style...but again it's not short.


I'm sure I have come across a forum of yours before.
Have you not already found a good partner to clash minds with?
Yes, however I can still do one time projects. Did I missread your post?


No, you didn't.
I did say just a short story after all.
But I was also opening my hand out to the writers who have no artist.
There seem to be a lot of them on here.
You yourself, seem very skilled.
I'd like to keep you in my pocket if possible.
Great minds are always a pleasure to talk to.
Sorry! I just realized I never replied!! FORGIVE ME!!!!! It's been a rough two weeks...

Anyway, I hope you find someone to help. If you don't, sadness, but I'll be here. I LOVE writing for the sake of creation. Heck, if ya do find someone I'll even ooo and ahhh over the manga if ya want someone to look it over (hint hint!! I love sneak peaks lol)
I'm confused in what you are asking for. There is no information and I can't tell if you want an artist or a writer (in which I'm both...)...
-I- Adora -I-'s avatar

Dangerous Hunter

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hm...this sounds interesting

don't mind me~
I will be lurking around here c:
Old Sess Account's avatar

Dangerous Hunter

-I-AliceOfMurderland-I-
hm...this sounds interesting

don't mind me~
I will be lurking around here c:


Lurk till your heart is content, my dear.
I have no intention of reviving this thread.
-grins-
-I- Adora -I-'s avatar

Dangerous Hunter

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Sessexx
-I-AliceOfMurderland-I-
hm...this sounds interesting

don't mind me~
I will be lurking around here c:


Lurk till your heart is content, my dear.
I have no intention of reviving this thread.
-grins-


-face palms-
just noticed the date.....
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

-flails arms- derrrrrp, my bad ;-;

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