Top Reasons Why You’ll Get Your a** Kicked in the WF

[Tailos-teichou]

Humour must be a lost cause this side of the WF. sad

[Lydia Trebond]

The next numbered reason(15): We will NOT name your characters. Geez
We have our own characters to name. If you absolutely cannot think of a name, download one of those name randomizer things.

The next numbered reason +1 (16): that iz guuud

Let's see, what's wrong with that sentence?
1. It's not spelled right.
2. It's not a very good critique
3. If it's a critique in the WF, the thread was in the wrong area in the first place!

***

I must have reported four or five threads yesterday alone, and I wasn't in the WF, paying attention, for more than an hour!

[Nematri]

Reason number 17 You ask us to assess "how good your character is" and then give us a measly description that just states her age, hair colour, eye colour, build, and a personality summed up in three words. Something like "hyper and bubbly!" or "feisty but cute!" Now, you really expect us, writers, who know how to actually develop a character, to tell you what we think of your character based on such meagre description? You think that "feisty but cute" constitutes deep understanding of your character's personality? GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE.

[Firlodge]

Tailos-teichou

Humour must be a lost cause this side of the WF. sad

Ah, look, if you're joking, please use an emoticon! I'm bad enough as it is. Please don't make it any harder, okay?

[Firlodge]

Nematri

Reason number 17 You ask us to assess "how good your character is" and then give us a measly description that just states her age, hair colour, eye colour, build, and a personality summed up in three words. Something like "hyper and bubbly!" or "feisty but cute!" Now, you really expect us, writers, who know how to actually develop a character, to tell you what we think of your character based on such meagre description? You think that "feisty but cute" constitutes deep understanding of your character's personality? GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE.

Reason number 18 - You have a Mary-Sue

[rant] Your character needs flaws, goddamn it. And no, I don't mean flaws like 'She's Youkai so everyone hates her' or 'Her nose is a bit too long'.

I mean honest-to-god, real, genuine authentic flaws that actually hinder her, even at crucial moments. If I see 'She's too kind', that character had damn well better be a doormat! And if she's scared of spiders, she'd better freak out at least a little bit, if a spider pops out.

[/rant]

[Nematri]

Firlodge

Nematri

Reason number 17 You ask us to assess "how good your character is" and then give us a measly description that just states her age, hair colour, eye colour, build, and a personality summed up in three words. Something like "hyper and bubbly!" or "feisty but cute!" Now, you really expect us, writers, who know how to actually develop a character, to tell you what we think of your character based on such meagre description? You think that "feisty but cute" constitutes deep understanding of your character's personality? GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE.

Reason number 18 - You have a Mary-Sue

[rant] Your character needs flaws, goddamn it. And no, I don't mean flaws like 'She's Youkai so everyone hates her' or 'Her nose is a bit too long'.

I mean honest-to-god, real, genuine authentic flaws that actually hinder her, even at crucial moments. If I see 'She's too kind', that character had damn well better be a doormat! And if she's scared of spiders, she'd better freak out at least a little bit, if a spider pops out.

[/rant]

*Shudders* Ugh, yeah. What self-respecting writer DOESN'T dislike Mary Sues?

And while we're on the subject of silly 'flaws', if I see "her great beauty is a flaw" one more time I'm going to puke. >.< At least with "she's too kind" the POTENTIAL exists for ot to be a flaw (i.e. with her being a doormat.) No such potential exists with the beauty thing. A flaw as lame as that just goes to show that the writer in question can't BEAR to make their character have anything bad about her!

Which brings me onto...

Reason number 19: You think nobody's allowed to criticise your character Trust me, if you take any criticism about your character as a personal attack, won't let any of us more-experienced character-makers point out what's wrong with your character, etc, then you ain't gonna be welcome in these parts.

[Tailos-teichou]

Nematri

"her great beauty is a flaw" one more time I'm going to puke. >.<

I would disagree if there were more stories with said MC getting bundled into carts and kidnapped every chapter due to her beauty.

And hey, what highwayman wouldn't want to steal her away from the party as they travel your generic fantasyland world?

[Nematri]

Tailos-teichou

Nematri

"her great beauty is a flaw" one more time I'm going to puke. >.<

I would disagree if there were more stories with said MC getting bundled into carts and kidnapped every chapter due to her beauty.

And hey, what highwayman wouldn't want to steal her away from the party as they travel your generic fantasyland world?

I see what you're saying, but I don't believe I've ever seen a character whose "great beauty is a flaw" actually getting kidnapped in any of the Suethor "check out my character!" posts. All such characters seem to do is sit around and angst about their beauty.

Speakin' of which:
Reason number 20: You use angst in lieu of actual character development How many times, people? While sadness and tragedy and darkness may have their place in a story, ANGST! every five minutes is BLOODY ANNOYING! It does not make your story deep! It does not make your main character tragic! It does not make readers sympathise with them!

And also, if your MC's past is so horribly tragic, you might want to actually research how tragedy actually affects human beings. If your family have been killed, you've been raped, and you've had the most miserable upbringing, the odds are you will be suffering a number of psychological problems arising from trauma. You will not sit around going "woe is me! My life suxxxxxxxxxx!" Little suburban teenagers whose mummies and daddies won't buy them Fall Out Boy tickets angst and whine. People who have suffered traumatic events have a long road of recovery, struggle and real psychological problems that potentially affect their lives. Last time I checked, 'fashionable angst' did not count as a potentially compromising psychological problem.

[Firlodge]

Nematri

Tailos-teichou

Nematri

"her great beauty is a flaw" one more time I'm going to puke. >.<

I would disagree if there were more stories with said MC getting bundled into carts and kidnapped every chapter due to her beauty.

And hey, what highwayman wouldn't want to steal her away from the party as they travel your generic fantasyland world?

I see what you're saying, but I don't believe I've ever seen a character whose "great beauty is a flaw" actually getting kidnapped in any of the Suethor "check out my character!" posts. All such characters seem to do is sit around and angst about their beauty.

Speakin' of which:
Reason number 20: You use angst in lieu of actual character development How many times, people? While sadness and tragedy and darkness may have their place in a story, ANGST! every five minutes is BLOODY ANNOYING! It does not make your story deep! It does not make your main character tragic! It does not make readers sympathise with them!

And also, if your MC's past is so horribly tragic, you might want to actually research how tragedy actually affects human beings. If your family have been killed, you've been raped, and you've had the most miserable upbringing, the odds are you will be suffering a number of psychological problems arising from trauma. You will not sit around going "woe is me! My life suxxxxxxxxxx!" Little suburban teenagers whose mummies and daddies won't buy them Fall Out Boy tickets angst and whine. People who have suffered traumatic events have a long road of recovery, struggle and real psychological problems that potentially affect their lives. Last time I checked, 'fashionable angst' did not count as a potentially compromising psychological problem.

((Gahhh....I hate that too.))

[Nematri]

Firlodge

Nematri

Tailos-teichou

Nematri

"her great beauty is a flaw" one more time I'm going to puke. >.<

I would disagree if there were more stories with said MC getting bundled into carts and kidnapped every chapter due to her beauty.

And hey, what highwayman wouldn't want to steal her away from the party as they travel your generic fantasyland world?

I see what you're saying, but I don't believe I've ever seen a character whose "great beauty is a flaw" actually getting kidnapped in any of the Suethor "check out my character!" posts. All such characters seem to do is sit around and angst about their beauty.

Speakin' of which:
Reason number 20: You use angst in lieu of actual character development How many times, people? While sadness and tragedy and darkness may have their place in a story, ANGST! every five minutes is BLOODY ANNOYING! It does not make your story deep! It does not make your main character tragic! It does not make readers sympathise with them!

And also, if your MC's past is so horribly tragic, you might want to actually research how tragedy actually affects human beings. If your family have been killed, you've been raped, and you've had the most miserable upbringing, the odds are you will be suffering a number of psychological problems arising from trauma. You will not sit around going "woe is me! My life suxxxxxxxxxx!" Little suburban teenagers whose mummies and daddies won't buy them Fall Out Boy tickets angst and whine. People who have suffered traumatic events have a long road of recovery, struggle and real psychological problems that potentially affect their lives. Last time I checked, 'fashionable angst' did not count as a potentially compromising psychological problem.

((Gahhh....I hate that too.))

((Yeah, plus it's a big slap in the face to people who have suffered tragedies. You see these kids, taking something that has genuinely made your life hell, and bastardizing it into something that makes their character "omgcool!" I guess it's a bit like being a clinical depression sufferer and seeing all the little emo-kids harping on about being "depressed" like it's the latest fashion accessory. That REALLY offends me.))

Anyway *clears throat* On to Reason number 21! You past those dumb copy-paster "pass this onto your friends so they know you love them! Myspace bulletin 'poems' as if it was real poetry. These 'poems' are sentimental crap of the kind even more sentimental and crappy than what card companies put in birthday cards. They show no originality, no deep thought, and no real understanding of how to actually write a poem. GTFO.

[Firlodge]

Which brings us onto:

Reason 22 - You didn't do your research

Seriously, do research before doing what you don't know. If you're going to do a character with an ASD, GOOGLE it. Talk to people who actually do have ASDS. And please, please, please, remember that neurotypicals aren't all the same - NEITHER ARE WE. Same goes for any condition, really. I just picked on ASDs because it's what I know.

[Extrapolatron]

Reason 23 - you thought this was cool.

This reason needs no description.

[Tard Is Whadt]

Firlodge

Which brings us onto:

Reason 22 - You didn't do your research

Seriously, do research before doing what you don't know. If you're going to do a character with an ASD, GOOGLE it. Talk to people who actually do have ASDS. And please, please, please, remember that neurotypicals aren't all the same - NEITHER ARE WE. Same goes for any condition, really. I just picked on ASDs because it's what I know.

Omg I know what you mean! >=X the story i'm working on right now involves a kid with glowing blood falling down a hole that leads about 700 feet to the center of the earth.

I've asked my bio, chem, and physics teachers soooooo many questions that they want to kill me if i dare to ask more. XD

but seriously. Good literature involves FACTS, people. REAL FACTS. so don't go putting your characters into a country you know NOTHING about (i.e Japan) cause you're just going to be butchering a story that may have potential (but probably doesn't.)

[Tard Is Whadt]

Tailos-teichou

Humour must be a lost cause this side of the WF. sad

nah, we just take things too seriously. wink

[Weathertop]

Gale the Awesome

Reason 23 - you thought this was cool.

This reason needs no description.

Oh god. Oh god. MY EYES!