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Miluna Vixen
low iq 111
Miluna Vixen
low iq 111
Miluna Vixen
That is a disgusting statement, and no one should even think about considering validity to any of those stupid ideas. Rape is horrible, it is wrong, and it is not beneficial or helpful at all. Also the word rape should probably not be used in the thread title as just the word can be majorly triggering to many people. A trigger warning should be instituted here as well. FYI


a word is triggering? i agree with that only because gaia is for 13+ and that's really young to discuss the issue but if this site were 18+ i would wholeheartedly disagree.
On forums like aftersilence.org its triggering. To those who recently experienced a horrific rape and are 18+ its still triggering. When I read the word I have flash backs, I throw up, I start shaking, and It thoroughly upsets me. I am 21 years old. I am a victim. I have PTSD


to those who recently experienced a horrific rape, shouldn't be wandering about on the internet if the word is going to "trigger" them

if i was as sensitive as you i would not even go near gaia or youtube whatsoever.... you should be meditating and exercising and reading and going to therapy.... if i did go on google or facebook or blogs i would be very careful about what people i add to my 'circle' ....just some advice.

also, it's just a word. the word itself should not make anyone do that. you need a lot of help. no one should have to not communicate because of issues like that.
so your saying I should stop living my life because of some stupid human decided to hurt me? I do read excersize and go to therapy weekly. I do need help and words are triggering. No one in this forum is in my "circle" I happened to be browsing Gaia and saw the title. And you never know when someone stupid is going to say something insensitive it doesn't just happen on the Internet FYI people make these types of sick jokes a lot of places.

no....? since when did i say you should 'stop living your life'. what does that even mean? i said and i mean if you are that sensitive to words and communication you should stop going into places for open discussion.

the sick jokes i don't think are okay but at the same time you said the mere word triggers you. i would say that is being overly sensitive if the mere word triggers you. if it's a sick joke then i can see how the people telling the joke need to be more sensitive for you.
low iq 111's avatar

Familiar Friend

Sakura Kintari
low iq 111
Sakura Kintari
low iq 111
Sakura Kintari
Holy s**t. eek

Sadly, I had a female friend of mine say something similarly insane awhile back.

Quote:
You know, I don't think getting raped would be so bad. Not if the guy was like hot or something.


Rape is not a joke. It is not funny. It is a horriffic experience. I realize trolls do what they do to to elicit responses, but there is such a thing as going too far. I am a rape survivor myself, and to hear people making light or even joking about something like rape makes me sick. And yet, I see it downplayed or spun as "not so bad" all the time. I've even been told to "get over it" when I take a stand against such behaviours.

Also, rape is RARELY about sex. I know this sounds like a contradictory statement, so I'll explain. Rape, from a psychological standpoint, is about power. Power over the victim, power over the situation, power over unrelated issues, even. The rapist isn't raping you because he's sexually attracted to you. It can be a form of revenge for a minor or even imagined slight, or just the rapist way of saying "I'm in charge here, do not question me".

One of MANY common misconceptions about rape.

Seeing posts like this is heartbreaking, because while you and I know better, some thirteen year old idiot won't, ******** up two lives.


most of the times it is horrific. but there are cases where rape is just not that big of a deal. i'm speaking on personal experience.

literally you don't need to try to make me feel bad or anything. i'm not suppressing my feelings because i've thought about it a lot. and i still feel like the attempted rape on me was not that bad. so yeah, rape is not so bad all the time for some people.

i'm not trying to say rape should be a thing that is done or anything, i'm just offering suggestions that you open your mind and consider different opinions.

again, rape should never be done. rape is wrong. people need to respect each others' bodies. rape is usually horrific and i feel bad for people who are struggling because of it. BUT, it is not always so bad. case in point: me.

>rape is not about sex.

i would really like some proof for this.....


I'm glad for you that you aren't traumatized or scarred by what happened. That's great. But understand that your experience is a genuinely unique one. Most people won't agree with you, that rape can have no negitive effects. Consider maybe that your attitude of "get over it" or "You need help" might be negitive? Forgive me if I'm misunderstanding you, but it sounds like you expect people to shrug it off because you did and hey, it wasn't so bad. Have you considered that maybe what you experienced was vastly different than what person A or B experienced? You can't say "not so bad" without first putting yourself in someone else's shoes.

As for rape not being about sex, look at any psych text dealing with criminal behaviour or sexual behaviour. While rape CAN be about sex/attraction, that's more the exception than the rule. "Power rape" is what most cases end up being. Sex is considered a private, intimate act by most cultures in the world, and is therefore a common tool used to dehumanize, humiliate, intimidate, or violate an individual. I can PM you with some further literature on the subject, if you like.


when did i say my attitude was "get over it" and "you need help"? and besides how is that wrong anyway? if someone was suffering and i was trying to help them regardless of the reason sometimes they do need to hear "get over it" and "you need help, here's how..." but usually i don't say things like that so....
what i mean is, sometimes you have to tell people to move on. usually i give advice in a very polite way, and only if it's asked.

it just doesn't make sense to me because i think that a rapist would usually rape because they mostly want sex and can't contain their urges for sex...not because they enjoy power or anything. in fact here's a recent article that says the earlier notion that sex is about power might be wrong.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-human-beast/201104/is-rape-about-control-or-sex


Telling someone to get over something without even UNDERSTANDING what they went through is what I was talking about, not the attitude itself. Telling someone to get help is fine as well, but only if you KNOW the facts, otherwise you're just making assumptions about someone and what might be an unimaginable experience. Telling someone to avoid all internet contact or to stay home (refering to your discussion with Miluna Vixen here) might be the worst possible advice, since you don't in fact know the details of her experience. Then again, you might be right on the money. The point is, until you know the facts, it's irresponsible and potentially hurtful.

The article was fascinating. Thank you. Unfortunately, it deals more with date rape, which is a whole different animal. While horrible, I was speaking more of acquaintace or stranger rapes. Date rape is one of the cases were it IS about sex, and were consent is questionable. And while it is the most common form of rape, in the whole spectrum of rape types (sounds odd, I know), power or control is the more common reason. The article sited the reason of rape about sex being that victims tended to be attractive younger females. What it failed to mention is attractive younger females tend to be easier targets, and less likely to report the incident. They also tend towards riskier enviornments. Parties when you know only one or two people, clubs, raves, bars. These places are fun, and young pretty girls are a plenty. It's sad, really. The article also mentioned the perpetrators tend toward men who are unable to get sex through normal means (dating, marriage, ect). It ignores all the psych studies that tells us this is in fact the reason why they are willing to rape someone. Not for sex, but because they're FRUSTRATED and feel rejected by women. This causes anger, which builds, which is eventually trigger by something, which leads to them committing the crime. it's a "I'll show you" kind of reaction. This of course doesn't apply in all cases, sice some can be traced to other problems not even related to sex or women in particular, it just manifests that way. Maybe they were angry about money, and a woman just says the wrong thing at the wrong time. Offhand, not even offensive. That's an example from a girl I worked with at the rehabilitation center. There are others. Regardless, the article was informative.


again, when did i ever say anyone should "get over" anything? stop making things up.
i did not say to the other poster to avoid all internet contact or to stay at home. i told her that if the mere use of the word 'rape' is triggering, she needs to stop going to sites like gaia and youtube. that is not all internet contact. nor is it me not understanding the situation. she told me what the situation was and i responded appropriately.
i don't have to know any details of her experience to try and encourage or help her. you sound twisted.

> I was speaking more of acquaintace or stranger rapes.

no... actually you didn't clarify and thus were speaking about rapes in general. maybe next time you should communicate better. rolleyes
> What it failed to mention is attractive younger females tend to be easier targets, and less likely to report the incident.
now you are making s**t up. you are lying to be correct against a highly rated scientific journalism. i'm sure they would have mentioned that in the article if they found that to be true. you are lying.
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low iq 111
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most of the times it is horrific. but there are cases where rape is just not that big of a deal. i'm speaking on personal experience.

literally you don't need to try to make me feel bad or anything. i'm not suppressing my feelings because i've thought about it a lot. and i still feel like the attempted rape on me was not that bad. so yeah, rape is not so bad all the time for some people.

i'm not trying to say rape should be a thing that is done or anything, i'm just offering suggestions that you open your mind and consider different opinions.

again, rape should never be done. rape is wrong. people need to respect each others' bodies. rape is usually horrific and i feel bad for people who are struggling because of it. BUT, it is not always so bad. case in point: me.

>rape is not about sex.

i would really like some proof for this.....


I'm glad for you that you aren't traumatized or scarred by what happened. That's great. But understand that your experience is a genuinely unique one. Most people won't agree with you, that rape can have no negitive effects. Consider maybe that your attitude of "get over it" or "You need help" might be negitive? Forgive me if I'm misunderstanding you, but it sounds like you expect people to shrug it off because you did and hey, it wasn't so bad. Have you considered that maybe what you experienced was vastly different than what person A or B experienced? You can't say "not so bad" without first putting yourself in someone else's shoes.

As for rape not being about sex, look at any psych text dealing with criminal behaviour or sexual behaviour. While rape CAN be about sex/attraction, that's more the exception than the rule. "Power rape" is what most cases end up being. Sex is considered a private, intimate act by most cultures in the world, and is therefore a common tool used to dehumanize, humiliate, intimidate, or violate an individual. I can PM you with some further literature on the subject, if you like.


when did i say my attitude was "get over it" and "you need help"? and besides how is that wrong anyway? if someone was suffering and i was trying to help them regardless of the reason sometimes they do need to hear "get over it" and "you need help, here's how..." but usually i don't say things like that so....
what i mean is, sometimes you have to tell people to move on. usually i give advice in a very polite way, and only if it's asked.

it just doesn't make sense to me because i think that a rapist would usually rape because they mostly want sex and can't contain their urges for sex...not because they enjoy power or anything. in fact here's a recent article that says the earlier notion that sex is about power might be wrong.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-human-beast/201104/is-rape-about-control-or-sex


Telling someone to get over something without even UNDERSTANDING what they went through is what I was talking about, not the attitude itself. Telling someone to get help is fine as well, but only if you KNOW the facts, otherwise you're just making assumptions about someone and what might be an unimaginable experience. Telling someone to avoid all internet contact or to stay home (refering to your discussion with Miluna Vixen here) might be the worst possible advice, since you don't in fact know the details of her experience. Then again, you might be right on the money. The point is, until you know the facts, it's irresponsible and potentially hurtful.

The article was fascinating. Thank you. Unfortunately, it deals more with date rape, which is a whole different animal. While horrible, I was speaking more of acquaintace or stranger rapes. Date rape is one of the cases were it IS about sex, and were consent is questionable. And while it is the most common form of rape, in the whole spectrum of rape types (sounds odd, I know), power or control is the more common reason. The article sited the reason of rape about sex being that victims tended to be attractive younger females. What it failed to mention is attractive younger females tend to be easier targets, and less likely to report the incident. They also tend towards riskier enviornments. Parties when you know only one or two people, clubs, raves, bars. These places are fun, and young pretty girls are a plenty. It's sad, really. The article also mentioned the perpetrators tend toward men who are unable to get sex through normal means (dating, marriage, ect). It ignores all the psych studies that tells us this is in fact the reason why they are willing to rape someone. Not for sex, but because they're FRUSTRATED and feel rejected by women. This causes anger, which builds, which is eventually trigger by something, which leads to them committing the crime. it's a "I'll show you" kind of reaction. This of course doesn't apply in all cases, sice some can be traced to other problems not even related to sex or women in particular, it just manifests that way. Maybe they were angry about money, and a woman just says the wrong thing at the wrong time. Offhand, not even offensive. That's an example from a girl I worked with at the rehabilitation center. There are others. Regardless, the article was informative.


again, when did i ever say anyone should "get over" anything? stop making things up.
i did not say to the other poster to avoid all internet contact or to stay at home. i told her that if the mere use of the word 'rape' is triggering, she needs to stop going to sites like gaia and youtube. that is not all internet contact. nor is it me not understanding the situation. she told me what the situation was and i responded appropriately.
i don't have to know any details of her experience to try and encourage or help her. you sound twisted.

> I was speaking more of acquaintace or stranger rapes.

no... actually you didn't clarify and thus were speaking about rapes in general. maybe next time you should communicate better. rolleyes
> What it failed to mention is attractive younger females tend to be easier targets, and less likely to report the incident.
now you are making s**t up. you are lying to be correct against a highly rated scientific journalism. i'm sure they would have mentioned that in the article if they found that to be true. you are lying.


Accusing someone of lying is because you didn't/don't know the statistics is ridiculous. Over half of all rapes are never reported, and many of the ones that are go nowhere because of lack of evidence. I would've thought a rape survivor like yourself might have looked into this, even if your own experience wasn't traumatic. Considering your response to myself and other posters, I'm starting to doubt that your fine. Maybe try going to therapy, just to see if you really don't need it.

I wasn't saying Get the details. I never said you should. I was saying giving advice while assuming you know how bad/traumatic an experience is is not the way to go.

I apologise for not clarifying the types I was speaking to.
low iq 111's avatar

Familiar Friend

Sakura Kintari
low iq 111
Sakura Kintari
low iq 111
Sakura Kintari
low iq 111


most of the times it is horrific. but there are cases where rape is just not that big of a deal. i'm speaking on personal experience.

literally you don't need to try to make me feel bad or anything. i'm not suppressing my feelings because i've thought about it a lot. and i still feel like the attempted rape on me was not that bad. so yeah, rape is not so bad all the time for some people.

i'm not trying to say rape should be a thing that is done or anything, i'm just offering suggestions that you open your mind and consider different opinions.

again, rape should never be done. rape is wrong. people need to respect each others' bodies. rape is usually horrific and i feel bad for people who are struggling because of it. BUT, it is not always so bad. case in point: me.

>rape is not about sex.

i would really like some proof for this.....


I'm glad for you that you aren't traumatized or scarred by what happened. That's great. But understand that your experience is a genuinely unique one. Most people won't agree with you, that rape can have no negitive effects. Consider maybe that your attitude of "get over it" or "You need help" might be negitive? Forgive me if I'm misunderstanding you, but it sounds like you expect people to shrug it off because you did and hey, it wasn't so bad. Have you considered that maybe what you experienced was vastly different than what person A or B experienced? You can't say "not so bad" without first putting yourself in someone else's shoes.

As for rape not being about sex, look at any psych text dealing with criminal behaviour or sexual behaviour. While rape CAN be about sex/attraction, that's more the exception than the rule. "Power rape" is what most cases end up being. Sex is considered a private, intimate act by most cultures in the world, and is therefore a common tool used to dehumanize, humiliate, intimidate, or violate an individual. I can PM you with some further literature on the subject, if you like.


when did i say my attitude was "get over it" and "you need help"? and besides how is that wrong anyway? if someone was suffering and i was trying to help them regardless of the reason sometimes they do need to hear "get over it" and "you need help, here's how..." but usually i don't say things like that so....
what i mean is, sometimes you have to tell people to move on. usually i give advice in a very polite way, and only if it's asked.

it just doesn't make sense to me because i think that a rapist would usually rape because they mostly want sex and can't contain their urges for sex...not because they enjoy power or anything. in fact here's a recent article that says the earlier notion that sex is about power might be wrong.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-human-beast/201104/is-rape-about-control-or-sex


Telling someone to get over something without even UNDERSTANDING what they went through is what I was talking about, not the attitude itself. Telling someone to get help is fine as well, but only if you KNOW the facts, otherwise you're just making assumptions about someone and what might be an unimaginable experience. Telling someone to avoid all internet contact or to stay home (refering to your discussion with Miluna Vixen here) might be the worst possible advice, since you don't in fact know the details of her experience. Then again, you might be right on the money. The point is, until you know the facts, it's irresponsible and potentially hurtful.

The article was fascinating. Thank you. Unfortunately, it deals more with date rape, which is a whole different animal. While horrible, I was speaking more of acquaintace or stranger rapes. Date rape is one of the cases were it IS about sex, and were consent is questionable. And while it is the most common form of rape, in the whole spectrum of rape types (sounds odd, I know), power or control is the more common reason. The article sited the reason of rape about sex being that victims tended to be attractive younger females. What it failed to mention is attractive younger females tend to be easier targets, and less likely to report the incident. They also tend towards riskier enviornments. Parties when you know only one or two people, clubs, raves, bars. These places are fun, and young pretty girls are a plenty. It's sad, really. The article also mentioned the perpetrators tend toward men who are unable to get sex through normal means (dating, marriage, ect). It ignores all the psych studies that tells us this is in fact the reason why they are willing to rape someone. Not for sex, but because they're FRUSTRATED and feel rejected by women. This causes anger, which builds, which is eventually trigger by something, which leads to them committing the crime. it's a "I'll show you" kind of reaction. This of course doesn't apply in all cases, sice some can be traced to other problems not even related to sex or women in particular, it just manifests that way. Maybe they were angry about money, and a woman just says the wrong thing at the wrong time. Offhand, not even offensive. That's an example from a girl I worked with at the rehabilitation center. There are others. Regardless, the article was informative.


again, when did i ever say anyone should "get over" anything? stop making things up.
i did not say to the other poster to avoid all internet contact or to stay at home. i told her that if the mere use of the word 'rape' is triggering, she needs to stop going to sites like gaia and youtube. that is not all internet contact. nor is it me not understanding the situation. she told me what the situation was and i responded appropriately.
i don't have to know any details of her experience to try and encourage or help her. you sound twisted.

> I was speaking more of acquaintace or stranger rapes.

no... actually you didn't clarify and thus were speaking about rapes in general. maybe next time you should communicate better. rolleyes
> What it failed to mention is attractive younger females tend to be easier targets, and less likely to report the incident.
now you are making s**t up. you are lying to be correct against a highly rated scientific journalism. i'm sure they would have mentioned that in the article if they found that to be true. you are lying.


Accusing someone of lying is because you didn't/don't know the statistics is ridiculous. Over half of all rapes are never reported, and many of the ones that are go nowhere because of lack of evidence. I would've thought a rape survivor like yourself might have looked into this, even if your own experience wasn't traumatic. Considering your response to myself and other posters, I'm starting to doubt that your fine. Maybe try going to therapy, just to see if you really don't need it.

I wasn't saying Get the details. I never said you should. I was saying giving advice while assuming you know how bad/traumatic an experience is is not the way to go.

I apologise for not clarifying the types I was speaking to.


prove it then....
i'm still going to say you are lying because i trust psychologytoday more than you, a random person on the internet. i don't see how that is ridiculous... that's being logical...

>Over half of all rapes are never reported,

how would you know if they are never reported?
or how about this. perhaps they aren't reported b/c technically they were rape but the victim doesn't feel like it was that big of a deal enough to go down that road? if half of all rapes aren't reported maybe the fact that some women don't have many (or any) negative side effects from their rapes isn't reported either?

literally, i rarely reveal information about my experience because i'm actually more scared of the angry extremist feminists who will tell me how wrong i am and how i need to shut up because it doesn't coincide with their worldview.

i don't ever condone rape, in fact i would try to make rape kits and reporting easier. other things i would do is teach more good morality in schools and make child abuse a number one priority as opposed to weed possession and war with muslims. etc etc but at the same time we all need to recognize that there are many different types of situations and perhaps some rapes just aren't that bad or not even bad at all.
(what i'm really happy with now though are the slut walks and stuff b/c i think the amount of alcohol and what someone is wearing is not an excuse at all. )
--------------------
no!!!111 you can't tell me to go to therapy. that's insulting. don't tell me how to heal or to just get over it. wow you're so rude. /s
lol did u post in the wrong forum crystal
wait did this get moved to the CB?
ohmygodlol

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