Question for someone with Aspergers

[blackheartgirl2]

So i have aspergers and i have asked this question to a couple other people with it and its interesting.

Would you rather be around someone (like be friends with and talk too) of the same gender or the opposite gender?
and why ?

i personally would rather be around someone of the opposite gender because there is less social pressure.

I really want t talk about this. i hope this is the right place.

[catnapgood]

You've got the right forum.

I don't have Asperger's, but my boyfriend and plenty of other people I know do. Oddly enough I do not know any females with Aspergers. And, my male friends with the condition to seem to be more comfortable in groupings of the oppositte gender. So I'm thinking there may be a bit of a trend.

[blackheartgirl2]

catnapgood

You've got the right forum.

I don't have Asperger's, but my boyfriend and plenty of other people I know do. Oddly enough I do not know any females with Aspergers. And, my male friends with the condition to seem to be more comfortable in groupings of the oppositte gender. So I'm thinking there may be a bit of a trend.

yeah thee are less girls with it than there are boys. i have met boys with it but never another girl.

It would make so much sense though if all people with aspergers think like that becasue there is less social pressure on you if you are with people of the opposite gender.

Like i don't have to try and be girly or know all of the girl social rules if i am with a group of guys. So i think it makes sense. smile

Thanks for answering smile

[catnapgood]

blackheartgirl2

catnapgood

You've got the right forum.

I don't have Asperger's, but my boyfriend and plenty of other people I know do. Oddly enough I do not know any females with Aspergers. And, my male friends with the condition to seem to be more comfortable in groupings of the oppositte gender. So I'm thinking there may be a bit of a trend.

yeah thee are less girls with it than there are boys. i have met boys with it but never another girl.

It would make so much sense though if all people with aspergers think like that becasue there is less social pressure on you if you are with people of the opposite gender.

Like i don't have to try and be girly or know all of the girl social rules if i am with a group of guys. So i think it makes sense. smile

Thanks for answering smile

I can see how it relieves pressure. When you are with the same gender you have to sort of assimilate to be accepted. I wonder if that makes sense. It's just stressful.

No problem, Dear. xD

[keeping my secrets]

Hmm. I'm a non-dx'd Aspie girl, and I usually spend time mostly around other girls.

I'm also a nerd (especially when it comes to politics and sociology) biggrin , and the female friends I spend time around are usually nerds too.

It seems to me like geek-girls in general (not necessary on the spectrum) care less about social norms and "fitting in" than the average neurotypical socially obsessed girl.

[blackheartgirl2]

catnapgood

I can see how it relieves pressure. When you are with the same gender you have to sort of assimilate to be accepted. I wonder if that makes sense. It's just stressful.

No problem, Dear. xD

You are very right smile

Other girls to me are just stressful

[blackheartgirl2]

keeping my secrets

Hmm. I'm a non-dx'd Aspie girl, and I usually spend time mostly around other girls.

I'm also a nerd (especially when it comes to politics and sociology) biggrin , and the female friends I spend time around are usually nerds too.

It seems to me like geek-girls in general (not necessary on the spectrum) care less about social norms and "fitting in" than the average neurotypical socially obsessed girl.

Those are the only kind of girls i can be around, the "geeky" girls. The ones that don't put pressure on you to talk about boys or shopping or makeup or make you want to fit it.

[Thisistotallyridiculous]

I never thought that it could be because of my Asperger's, but I do like hanging out with boys much better than with girls. It's very hard being around cutesy nice girls who make me feel like I'm supposed to act the same way. Guys aren't like that, thank god.
Now that you mention it though that does make sense I guess.

[blackheartgirl2]

Thisistotallyridiculous

I never thought that it could be because of my Asperger's, but I do like hanging out with boys much better than with girls. It's very hard being around cutesy nice girls who make me feel like I'm supposed to act the same way. Guys aren't like that, thank god.
Now that you mention it though that does make sense I guess.

I have spent my entire life around guys and i thought i just didn't like being around girls and being girly. but out of 29 people that have answered my posts (here and another forum) 19 of them said they would rather be with people of the opposite gender. So it might have to do with aspergers.

Same : 3 Opposite: 19 either:5 Neither: 2

[Sketch Xaviar Reed]

I don't know if I qualify to answer this for all, because I have far more mental disorders than Asperger's (although I do have it, and very pronounced), but I will answer for myself. And I know this wasn't a trick question, but for mine, I am forced to give you a trick answer.

I personally prefer not being around either, unless the people I interact with are ones I completely trust. Out of the two I do, however, one is a female (my girlfriend) and one is a male (my brother). However, I would prefer to be around books, plush toys, computers, or anything other than people, because to put it quite frankly, people scare me.

Interestingly enough, my fear of people does not extend to when I am performing (i.e., when at comic convensions, when at festivals doing caricatures, when I'm at work and selling something, etc.) My girl writes it up to me being in control of the situation, which is more than likely accurate. I tend to let fly too much spaghetti out of my pockets when I have to make small talk.

But yeah. Neither, unless I fully trust you or am not socializing.

[WobinA]

As someone without Asperger's I would assume that you might be more comfortable around the same sex of people since there isn't that pressure to look good in front of potential mates.

But I suppose you're right about women judging other women more than men judge them.

[Nakuba]

I have it too, but I am more comfortable around other girls more than guys. Guess I'm one of the few who rather be around people of the same sex.

I'm not very good talking with other people and I'm also really shy. and I don't really talk with someone unless I feel somewhat comfortable around them. though really I've most talkitive when the other person likes anime, anime type video games. I do have one guy friend, but that's because he like anime too. Same with my friend who's a girl. they're actually the ones that got me into it and I trust them completely. that doesn't happen offen with me.

And at anime conventions I'm a completely different person. I talk to a bunch of people there who wears cosplay of characters from shows I watch and stuff. the other 364 days I don't really talk to anyone unless for work.

Also too, I don't know if its the Aspergers, but I hate being touched by people I don't know. I only let people I'm comfortable with touch me. that's one thing that doesn't change when I go to anime conventions.

[blackheartgirl2]

Nakuba

I have it too, but I am more comfortable around other girls more than guys. Guess I'm one of the few who rather be around people of the same sex.

I'm not very good talking with other people and I'm also really shy. and I don't really talk with someone unless I feel somewhat comfortable around them. though really I've most talkitive when the other person likes anime, anime type video games. I do have one guy friend, but that's because he like anime too. Same with my friend who's a girl. they're actually the ones that got me into it and I trust them completely. that doesn't happen offen with me.

And at anime conventions I'm a completely different person. I talk to a bunch of people there who wears cosplay of characters from shows I watch and stuff. the other 364 days I don't really talk to anyone unless for work.

Also too, I don't know if its the Aspergers, but I hate being touched by people I don't know. I only let people I'm comfortable with touch me. that's one thing that doesn't change when I go to anime conventions.

yeah i like being around people that like the same things as me and that just happens to be guys. and like one girl.
Its good that you have those friends its important to have people you can trust.

I think that the hating touch is an aspergers thing because people with aspergers can be sensitive to touch. I know that i don't like people to just touch me either not even my guy friends are really allowed to touch me in any way. And i even can't wear certain clothing because of it.

[Manguusu]

M.Bison: "They let a whelp like you head the Mishima Zaibatsu?"

I can only be around people I either trust or are just as nerdy/geeky as I am. Regardless of sex/gender.
But if I have to act or work as a cashier I turn into a different person; a less awkward one, specifically. But actual social situations/chit-chat make me nervous and I tend to dig myself into holes.
I hate being touched unexpectedly or lightly, too. If one wants to touch me, they better let me know or at least put a little effort into it.

Devil Jin: 「恐怖を教えて遣ろう。」 (Kyoufu wo oshiete yarou/I'll show you fear)

[blackheartgirl2]

Manguusu

M.Bison: "They let a whelp like you head the Mishima Zaibatsu?"

I can only be around people I either trust or are just as nerdy/geeky as I am. Regardless of sex/gender.
But if I have to act or work as a cashier I turn into a different person; a less awkward one, specifically. But actual social situations/chit-chat make me nervous and I tend to dig myself into holes.
I hate being touched unexpectedly or lightly, too. If one wants to touch me, they better let me know or at least put a little effort into it.

Devil Jin: 「恐怖を教えて遣ろう。」 (Kyoufu wo oshiete yarou/I'll show you fear)

Thank you for answering smile

I work as a cashier too but it has made me more confident all the time, not just at work (though i am more confident and talkative at work)

Yeah i can understand the chit-chat thing or even when customers at work want to talk about something other than what they are buying.