IF YOUR CHILD IS EMO, REFORM THROUGH THE LORD!

[WhiskeyJar]

If Your Child is a Emo, Reform Through the Lord!

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may
have gone astray from the Lord. Emo is a very obscure
and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to
participating in. The emo culture leads young, susceptible minds
into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and self-mutilation. Please seek
immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental
guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the
following are applicable to your child:

1-Frequently wears black clothing.
2-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
3-Wears excessive black or rainbow-patterned eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
4-Wears any odd, thick-rimmed glasses, tight jeans, or other articles of strange clothing. Many of these are godless, culture- worshipping symbols.
5-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
6-Listens to emo or any other anti-social genres of music.
7-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak
eccentrically.
8-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible, prayer, church or sports.
9-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
10-Takes drugs.
11-Drinks alcohol.
12-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
13-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.
(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God
and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local
mental health center.)
14-Complains of boredom.
15-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
16-Is excessively awake during the night.
17-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light, including excessive sun glasses wearing.
18-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
19-Spends large amounts of time alone.
20-Requests time alone and quietness.
21-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an
adult.
22-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders
are but a few examples of this.
23-Misbehaves at school.
24-Misbehaves at home.
25-Eats emo-related foods. Fruit Loops cereal is an example of
this.
26-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources.
(Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
27-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing
nature.
28-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer.
29-Writes poetry, or listens to depressing music.
30-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
31-Expresses an interest in sex.
32-Masturbates.
33-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
34-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Atheism, Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
35-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various
phrases: "woe is me", "I'm a emo", or a rainbow pattern.
36-Claims to be a emo.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene
immediately. The emo culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it.
If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental
health center.

[Methcalarjalope]

I cannot advise this.

[Nonesuch Solo]

I suppose it's been sufficiently long enough from the last time I saw these posts. You might troll someone who's newer to the Internet.

[GunsmithKitten]

Old,fundamentalist copypasta is old.

[Methcalarjalope]

Quote:

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene
immediately. The emo culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it.
If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental
health center.

You protestants have no clue how to deal with Satan and therefore you find him lurking everywhere. An emo is a natural Catholic. Leave your kid alone, Protter!

[WhiskeyJar]

Methcalarjalope

I cannot advise this.

Cannot advise emoism, or cannot advise helping the poor, misguided souls?

[Malcolm Tucker]

Have you ever though about working for a Government department? You are very ******** good at shovelling bullshit.

[WhiskeyJar]

GunsmithKitten

Old,fundamentalist copypasta is old.

Old as it is, I simply modified it to be more relevant for the parents of today. They need to be told about the dangers posed by modern pop-culture to the mental well being of their children.

[Hoppie]

wow I remember this list from 7 years ago

[WhiskeyJar]

Nonesuch Solo

I suppose it's been sufficiently long enough from the last time I saw these posts. You might troll someone who's newer to the Internet.

I am not trolling, simply updating. The dangers of the world change once every few years, and it's just easier to update the old warnings.

[Hurricane_Scrambles]

And the fail raid on the ED goes on...

[WenchUndertheBridge]

[Repellant]

One, two
One shade will do

Ten, eleven
Shoot up and to heaven

Fifteen, sixteen
Insomnia and nicotine

Thirtyone, thirtytwo
If I get a chance I'll do that too

[Hurricane_Scrambles]

WhiskeyJar

Nonesuch Solo

I suppose it's been sufficiently long enough from the last time I saw these posts. You might troll someone who's newer to the Internet.

I am not trolling, simply updating. The dangers of the world change once every few years, and it's just easier to update the old warnings.

Yeah, atheists are not a danger. I should know. I am one.

[WhiskeyJar]

SomeKid93

And the fail raid on the ED goes on...

This is not a failure if even one child can reform.