Help me I'm fat!: The "How to lose Weight" thread

[BladeEdge01]

Cutie-pie Sleepyhead

BladeEdge01

wolfves tears

People are usually overweight because they eat the wrong foods and they're just simply too lazy to get up and excercise.

Because, you know, fat people are all lazy slobs. There are no conditions, genetic, or environmental factors there. stare

Normally, no.

Just like how high amounts of stress don't increase body fat, or like how it's your fault if you've gained some weight after pregnancy, or if your body naturally converts a large amount of the energy you consume into fat, even though your lifestyle is healthy. Especially that last one. Sorry, I'm stupid intolerent. I hope you and the OP were sarcastic, otherwise you deserve to be beaten with your own limbs.

[Vixianna]

Catmaster Fuu

Vixianna

@ Kobanya: What great advice, thanks for helping.

Are you promoting unheathy eating habits? Bulimia seriously is not the way to go. If people want to lose weight they should exercise more and eat six little meals throughout the course of the day.

I but don't you want to be thin? That's why I was asking about remedies for vomit acid tooth damage, don't want a nasty smile after all that work to be thin...

[eikocarol212]

BladeEdge01

wolfves tears

People are usually overweight because they eat the wrong foods and they're just simply too lazy to get up and excercise.

Because, you know, fat people are all lazy slobs. There are no conditions, genetic, or environmental factors there. stare

Nope, none, none at all. They are all just lazy bastards even though the qualifiers (i.e the BMI) for being fat got changed.....and that for different ethnicities, those same qualifiers can vary....

1.

2.

Nope. Fatties are all lazy. No matter what. Make the fat go away, and everything will be sunshine and rainbows.... 3nodding

[Phantomboy411]

here's an idea (i hope no one's presented it already...) but GET OFF THE F*CKING COMPUTER AND GO OUTSIDE

any questions?

[I got bored one day]

BladeEdge01

Cutie-pie Sleepyhead

BladeEdge01

wolfves tears

People are usually overweight because they eat the wrong foods and they're just simply too lazy to get up and excercise.

Because, you know, fat people are all lazy slobs. There are no conditions, genetic, or environmental factors there. stare

Normally, no.

Just like how high amounts of stress don't increase body fat, or like how it's your fault if you've gained some weight after pregnancy, or if your body naturally converts a large amount of the energy you consume into fat, even though your lifestyle is healthy. Especially that last one. Sorry, I'm stupid intolerent. I hope you and the OP were sarcastic, otherwise you deserve to be beaten with your own limbs.

So because most people don't have genetic issues, medical conditions, and environmental factors to such extremes I deserve to be beat? Well, that's new. Really though, a majority of the obese are not obese because they have thyroid problems.

[Kaosgirl]

Riviera de la Mancha

You seem to be patronizing the effort to lose weight and, knowing your history, I am inclined to trust my supposition.

The efforts of those who fail to lose weight are often patronized as it is, so I don't see the problem.

[Oni no Tenshi]

Oh amazing thread of thinness, I am fat even though I starve myself and overexercise.

What about lapband surgery or gastric bypass? Anyone have any experience with that?

Because I hear that surgically induced malnutrition can help you lose LOTS of weight, and who cares if you get sick and can't eat? Obviously that will keep fatties from stuffing food in their mouths 24/7 like they always do.

[eikocarol212]

Oni no Tenshi

Oh amazing thread of thinness, I am fat even though I starve myself and overexercise.

What about lapband surgery or gastric bypass? Anyone have any experience with that?

Because I hear that surgically induced malnutrition can help you lose LOTS of weight, and who cares if you get sick and can't eat? Obviously that will keep fatties from stuffing food in their mouths 24/7 like they always do.

Yep. No more eating period. You totally need to get thin. I mean who wants to be overweight like these people:

Fatty 1

Fatty 2

Fatty 3

Or WORSE!!!! OBESE like these people:

Lardass 1

Lardass 2

Lardass 3

Whoo boy. Just look at those unhealthy fatties. They need to totally put down the fork and go exercise more. As a matter of fact, they should just surgically close their mouths. That way no food can get in. Of course, neither can air or water, but hey, all in the name of getting thin right???

[Sweetpea The Tigress]

eikocarol212

Oni no Tenshi

Oh amazing thread of thinness, I am fat even though I starve myself and overexercise.

What about lapband surgery or gastric bypass? Anyone have any experience with that?

Because I hear that surgically induced malnutrition can help you lose LOTS of weight, and who cares if you get sick and can't eat? Obviously that will keep fatties from stuffing food in their mouths 24/7 like they always do.

Yep. No more eating period. You totally need to get thin. I mean who wants to be overweight like these people:

Fatty 1

Fatty 2

Fatty 3

Or WORSE!!!! OBESE like these people:

Lardass 1

Lardass 2

Lardass 3

Whoo boy. Just look at those unhealthy fatties. They need to totally put down the fork and go exercise more. As a matter of fact, they should just surgically close their mouths. That way no food can get in. Of course, neither can air or water, but hey, all in the name of getting thin right???

I think the best thing to do is to fit a heavy plastic muzzle over their mouths, and to padlock it in back. The keys could be given to the Anti-Fat Police Force, and fatties would be allowed to eat about 200 calories a day, very carefully measured out in grams. That'll learn 'em, durn 'em!
Sloth and gluttony should be severely punished. I think chub-balls should be thouroughly scourged once a week; and bleeding with leeches will cast the Devil out of them... That, plus an occasional multivitamin, should set them right.

[Imperator Gnome]

To lose weight join wrestling.

In the first week I lost around five pounds which never came back.

By the end of the first month I had something around fifteen to twenty pounds while gaining around five to ten pounds of muscle.

By the end of the season I was hovering around 7% bodyfat, and that was all without doing anything special to lose weight. In fact I ate alot more during Wrestling season than I ever did before. I seriously had an entire pizza or an equivalent amount of food as a first course every day for dinner.

It was sorta scary actually.

[half-hearted love]

I'm fat. It's the damn thyroid. :

[Vixianna]

eikocarol212

BladeEdge01

wolfves tears

People are usually overweight because they eat the wrong foods and they're just simply too lazy to get up and excercise.

Because, you know, fat people are all lazy slobs. There are no conditions, genetic, or environmental factors there. stare

Nope, none, none at all. They are all just lazy bastards even though the qualifiers (i.e the BMI) for being fat got changed.....and that for different ethnicities, those same qualifiers can vary....

1.

2.

Nope. Fatties are all lazy. No matter what. Make the fat go away, and everything will be sunshine and rainbows.... 3nodding

Actually, that coincides with another set of research into women with osteoporosis. They had their actual lean mass and fat mass, and bone density measured, and what it came out to was, that the African-American women didn't have higher levels of Obesity, despite having consistently higher BMI scores. The difference was thicker bones, and more muscle than their white or Hispanic counter-parts. As usual Hispanics were in between whites and blacks in scores for lean mass, bone density, and fat mass, which is about right considering they are often mixed with the indigenous peoples of the area, giving them a genetic structure in between European and Native or African.

All that means if lazy black folk will think they have an excuse to sit on their a** and eat more chicken, and collard greens, and pork flavored veggies.

[Vixianna]

Sweetpea The Tigress

eikocarol212

Oni no Tenshi

Oh amazing thread of thinness, I am fat even though I starve myself and overexercise.

What about lapband surgery or gastric bypass? Anyone have any experience with that?

Because I hear that surgically induced malnutrition can help you lose LOTS of weight, and who cares if you get sick and can't eat? Obviously that will keep fatties from stuffing food in their mouths 24/7 like they always do.

Yep. No more eating period. You totally need to get thin. I mean who wants to be overweight like these people:

Fatty 1

Fatty 2

Fatty 3

Or WORSE!!!! OBESE like these people:

Lardass 1

Lardass 2

Lardass 3

Whoo boy. Just look at those unhealthy fatties. They need to totally put down the fork and go exercise more. As a matter of fact, they should just surgically close their mouths. That way no food can get in. Of course, neither can air or water, but hey, all in the name of getting thin right???

I think the best thing to do is to fit a heavy plastic muzzle over their mouths, and to padlock it in back. The keys could be given to the Anti-Fat Police Force, and fatties would be allowed to eat about 200 calories a day, very carefully measured out in grams. That'll learn 'em, durn 'em!
Sloth and gluttony should be severely punished. I think chub-balls should be thouroughly scourged once a week; and bleeding with leeches will cast the Devil out of them... That, plus an occasional multivitamin, should set them right.

Who need to pay for a door to door police, when we can have volunteers go to health spas, where they monitor your every morsel? It would be perfect, with nutritionist, and exercise instructors on site. And security cameras, and guards. That way they can make sure they live on 200 calories a day with no cheating AND it will stimulate the economy instead of raising taxes because people would have to pay for it Naturally anyone with a BMI over 28 or attendance will be mandatory.

[Vixianna]

Oni no Tenshi

Oh amazing thread of thinness, I am fat even though I starve myself and overexercise.

What about lapband surgery or gastric bypass? Anyone have any experience with that?

Because I hear that surgically induced malnutrition can help you lose LOTS of weight, and who cares if you get sick and can't eat? Obviously that will keep fatties from stuffing food in their mouths 24/7 like they always do.

Don't you know? lapband is reversible, so it's a no-no, but Bypass is a great option! Besides, they can still graze themselves back up to their disgusting 500+ mass, so they need to be monitored.

[Nonesuch Solo]

Vixianna

Nonesuch Solo

Vixianna

Kobanya

Nonesuch Solo

Kobanya

@Everyone Else: Having a monkey slap your hand from whatever you try to eat works too.

We're not allowed to keep pets where we live right now. sad

A brother then? XD

Or you could put a lock on the fridge and make it a really complex number and make it force you to scan several things to the point that you no longer want food.

A combination is a great plan. You might need more than one lock though, never underestimate the determination of a fatass. Too bad there aren't many here, we could actually help them...

A better locking mechanism would be one that you would keep tied into your vitals all day, and only when you've had a steady two hours of burning more calories than you consume will it allow you into the fridge.

Yeah but I don't think those exist. Maybe we can invent them? It would be great, we'd make so much money! We'd be the richest chicks in America at least...

I've heard of people putting up thinsperational pictures on their fridge to deter them from opening them in the first place.