Help me I'm fat!: The "How to lose Weight" thread

[Nonesuch Solo]

Kobanya

Nonesuch Solo

eikocarol212

Oh snap. We're combining forces to rid the ED of fat. 3nodding Wonder Thin powers, ACTIVATE!!!

SHAPE OF: ONE STRAND OF UNCOOKED SPAGHETTI!

"The guardian of the sky, guarded by Uranus, I am Sailor Uranus!"

Which Sailor are you None? Pluto is open...XD

YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS CAPTAIN SPAHGETTI!!!

@None: SO true about the meat.

Always liked Mars the best razz

[Kobanya]

Asevenex

What...

The hell...

Have I started? eek

Something you cannot undo. There is no Ring of Power or a volcano to throw it back in. Shouldn't have tempted us.



"SOURCES!"
"INTELLIGENCE!"
"WIN!"
"PATIENCE!"
"COHERENCY!"

"Go Nonesuch!"

"By your powers combined, I am Captain Nonesuch"

Captain Nonesuch, she's our hero
Gonna take noob population down to zero

She's our powers magnified
And she's fighting on the ED's side

Captain Nonesuch, she's our hero
Gonna take fail trolls down to zero

Gonna help her put asunder
Bad guys who like to troll and flame her

"You'll pay for this Captain Nonesuch!"

We're the EDeteers
You can be one too
'Cause saving our ED is the thing to do!

Trolling and being an idiot is not the way
Hear what Captain Nonesuch has to say!

"Stop Posting, You Troll!"

[Asevenex]

Kobanya

Asevenex

What...

The hell...

Have I started? eek

Something you cannot undo. There is no Ring of Power or a volcano to throw it back in. Shouldn't have tempted us.



"SOURCES!"
"INTELLIGENCE!"
"WIN!"
"PATIENCE!"
"COHERENCY!"

"Go Nonesuch!"

"By your powers combined, I am Captain Nonesuch"

Captain Nonesuch, she's our hero
Gonna take noob population down to zero

She's our powers magnified
And she's fighting on the ED's side

Captain Nonesuch, she's our hero
Gonna take fail trolls down to zero

Gonna help her put asunder
Bad guys who like to troll and flame her

"You'll pay for this Captain Nonesuch!"

We're the EDeteers
You can be one too
'Cause saving our ED is the thing to do!

Trolling and being an idiot is not the way
Hear what Captain Nonesuch has to say!

"Stop Posting, You Troll!"

Words alone cannot describe how much I lol'd at this.

[Vixianna]

Asevenex

What...


The hell...


Have I started? eek

Shouldn't have tempted us.

[Kobanya]

Nonesuch Solo

Kobanya

Nonesuch Solo

eikocarol212

Oh snap. We're combining forces to rid the ED of fat. 3nodding Wonder Thin powers, ACTIVATE!!!

SHAPE OF: ONE STRAND OF UNCOOKED SPAGHETTI!

"The guardian of the sky, guarded by Uranus, I am Sailor Uranus!"
Which Sailor are you None? Pluto is open...XD
YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS CAPTAIN SPAHGETTI!!!
@None: SO true about the meat.

Always liked Mars the best razz

biggrin

Chorus: "Sailor Mars...Sailor Mars..."

Just in case you felt like changing clothes. XD

I like Uranus (no duh), and then Jupiter. It's really a tie.

[Asevenex]

Vixianna

Asevenex

What...


The hell...


Have I started? eek

Shouldn't have tempted us.

Fate tempted me to tempt you.

[Vixianna]

Second poke opening song, these sound great if you read them as you listen to the song in the background.

So you wanna be a Master Troll Slayer?
Do you have the balls to be Cruel enough!

I wanna take the ultimate step
Find the strength to uphold
The ED Laws and not forget
The knowledge that I hold

I wanna see what no one's seen,
Far Beyond 4chan,
To kill some trolls to take command ,
Use the memes that's in my hands!

We all live, in an Internet World
(It's the ED MAN!)
I wanna be the greatest slayer of them all
(The greatest slayer)
We all live, in an Internet World
Put my memes to the test,
Be more vicious than all the rest.

So wanna be the Master of An Hero Pix?
Understand Die in an Fires and KILL SOME TROLLS!

We all live, in an Internet World
(It's the ED MAN!)
I wanna be the greatest slayer of them all
(The greatest slayer)
We all live, in an Internet World
Use the memes that's in my hands!
Slay some trolls!

This is the Opening to the TV series, I can do the full song if you request it.

[Nonesuch Solo]

Kobanya

Asevenex

What...

The hell...

Have I started? eek

Something you cannot undo. There is no Ring of Power or a volcano to throw it back in. Shouldn't have tempted us.



"SOURCES!"
"INTELLIGENCE!"
"WIN!"
"PATIENCE!"
"COHERENCY!"

"Go Nonesuch!"

"By your powers combined, I am Captain Nonesuch"

Captain Nonesuch, she's our hero
Gonna take noob population down to zero

She's our powers magnified
And she's fighting on the ED's side

Captain Nonesuch, she's our hero
Gonna take fail trolls down to zero

Gonna help her put asunder
Bad guys who like to troll and flame her

"You'll pay for this Captain Nonesuch!"

We're the EDeteers
You can be one too
'Cause saving our ED is the thing to do!

Trolling and being an idiot is not the way
Hear what Captain Nonesuch has to say!

"Stop Posting, You Troll!"

*cackles*

[MICHELLADA]

GET YOU LARDY SELF UP AND DO SOMETHING

[Xeno Incognito]

Vixi, trolling? This is a pleasant surprise. rofl

[BladeEdge01]

I can't believe how stupid people are.

[Nonesuch Solo]

As much as I've been half-heartedly goofing around in this thread, I just want to add all the weight loss advice that I can think of really quickly here.

1) Eat less. (This advice is always given by somebody who does not know how much I eat or how much I am trying to change.)
1a) But don't eat too little.
1b) And don't change too quickly.

2) Substitute healthy foods for unhealthy ones. (This advice is only given to people who are trying to lose weight, or people who have other health problems that aren't necessarily related to weight.)

3) If you're hungry, you might not really be hungry. But you wouldn't know. Try not eating unless you're actually really hungry.
3a) But be careful because your body might actually go into starvation mode.

4) Try this miracle solution, my doctor/mother/bffJill says it works. (This can take the form of drastic life-altering surgery, medication with various side effects, or herbal remedies with no proven results.)

5) Work out more.
5a) And get a real workout, not this "huff puff I BREAK A SWEAT WHEN I GO UP THE STAIRS" bullshit.
5b) But don't do too much too fast.

...I'd go on but I need to get to bed.

You can see why we satirize "weight loss ideas" here, with how readily people give advice that is incomplete, an outright lie, or even just what works for some as if it might work for all. Many people who are in shape, even if they have been overweight before and have worked it off, are all too willing to show lardballs how easy it is to lose weight, some even to the point of insulting our intelligence.

[Vixianna]

Xeno Incognito

Vixi, trolling? This is a pleasant surprise. rofl

Who me? Oh you know I never troll? 4laugh

@ No such: So vague, would that be because no one can ever manage to give you actual advice on how to lose weight? That sounds about right, but hun, don't you know? We are working on those super-leeches/maggots and they will be able to help soon. In the meantime an intestinal worm would really help with weight loss, say something like one for a pork product, not so much flat worms from fish.

[Cory Shallow]

You palm. Portion control.
Do it.

[Heartfout]

My advice (based on what I've done to lose weight) is to cut down slightly on foods, but really step up exercise. Good lose weight exercises are swimming (works out your whole body, and because the water is a better heat conductor than air, you burn more energy keeping your body temperature stable as well), sports like ice skating (Again, being in the cold helps you burn fat as heat) and skiing (if you can, one of the best calories per hour sports around). Also try cycling as much as you can.

Not sure how much that would help, but...