females.

[NatZee]

wow you remember dates? :O

[Lethargic Robot]

Moniquill

Lethargic Robot

Moniquill

You're equally at fault for not fully communicating to one another what your expectations of 'On a break' behavior entailed. She clearly had different expectations than you did.

That said, you don't own her. She doesn't need to 'get off' of anything. Your choices now are to either continue dating her or not continue dating her. Life isn't fair.

I don't think the OP could have stated any clearer that he doesn't own her. You completely missed the point.

The social construction of 'cheating' assumes that romantic partners own one another (Or worse, that the male partner owns the female one). If people own themselves, and decide to have sex with someone other than their romantic partner, that's not cheating. It's a failure of communication of behavioral expectations between two free agents who willingly enter into a relationship.

Yeah, I agree with that last sentence there. It's reasonable to assume two equal people have to both strive to understand each other if they want to have a relationship. You're first two is full of annoying alternative buzzwords people eventually grow out of.

Like referring to people as "owning" each other. I'd never thought of it that way and easily misunderstood you from square one. I'd venture that my view (simple that people don't see it as owning each other) may be the more widely accepted "social construction". I support this claim with the OP stating repeatedly his tolerance and respect of needing space.

Of course if we're ascribing to edgy "social construction" ways of thinking, traditionally, relationships require complete fidelity unless discussed otherwise (communication).

[Bronze_05]

DUMP HER! What kind of girlfriend is she if she cheated on you and gave an excuse that you guys were on a break? If she loved you as much as you loved her, she would have never done that. All your efforts and sacrifices she doesnt appreciate. . . DUMP HER! Before she dumps you because of that other guy.

[CloseThisAccount]

And this is why breaks only work when you're very, very clear on what that exactly means. Also, why is this titled "females"?

[brittnai420]

i would be so pissed off if i was you.
a break is supposed to mean a break from eachother with the intention of getting back together later on and not seeing other people unless you both agreed to it.

i hate when people use a break as an excuse, it happened to me also.

[Tweetles]

Minion of Kiloran

hey, you're sure as hell broken up now, and there's nothing for it.

But...what the hell. Here's how you swing it. You get an orangutan. I’m not talking a little monkey or some dancing chimp bullshit, I mean a ******** orangutan. Don’t ask me how you’re gonna get a ******** orangutan, because that’s not my problem. So the orangutan’s name is Clyde, this is non-negotiable, all orangutans are named Clyde, I don’t know why that is, it’s just how the world works. So you and Clyde become man and ape about town. You’re seen everywhere together, you make the scene. You and friends go out in big groups. You talk loud, you laugh louder. Every time you say something witty, you high-five the orangutan. The town begins to buzz, it gets back to her: “Did you know the guy with the orangutan?”, “You used to date the guy with the orangutan?”, “Why would you break up with a guy with an orangutan?” Next thing you know she’s calling: “|’m hoping we can still be friends. Wanna hang out sometime?” “Geez, I dunno me and Clyde were going to go to a monstertruck race tonight (orangutans love monster trucks). In fact! the whole social calendar seems kinda full. I tell you what, I'll make a little note, what was your name again? And maybe I can squeeze you in. Oh, well, you know my number, so don’t be a stranger. Hey, look at the time! I gotta skate: Clyde’s making Mojitoes.” At this point the upper hand is yours. You can let her twist in the wind, you can draw her back into your life at the pace you decide. Whatever, it’s your life. But if you’re a smart man? You slowly phase her back in. You’re IM-ing, you’re talking Live. You get invited to family functions.You bring Clyde, he becomes like one of the family. You’re one big Brady Bunch.

That's good. That's really good. Now I'm gonna buy an orangutan and name it Clyde. That sounds like fun!

[magmayoshi]

angela101

And this is why breaks only work when you're very, very clear on what that exactly means. Also, why is this titled "females"?

Because most people seek to blame people who are not them. Like in this situation it's both their faults for not communicating properly but of course everyone else who is not him is to blame because he's human and his mind swings that way.

[subplot]

MIND FUNGUS

I'm twenty one now and I'm with a ******** anti-social personality disorder, bi-polar tendencies b***h on wheels who has an angry face like The Medusa. Every now and then the marriage issue surfaces and I scream "HOLY LIVESTOCK IN HEAVY TRAFFIC!!" Can she hear herself?

[CrazyDave55811]

My God; that's awful. sad Her excuse is "We were on a break," but she decides to have sex with another guy during that "break"?

I'm sorry, but that was very shitty on her part. She obviously had no concept of what "break" meant, from the sound of things, anyway.

I cannot be one to say "Give up on her and move on," because when the heart's involved, it's difficult to let go. The choice is yours if you want to forgive her, assuming she even cares to begin with, which I don't know.

[Daisuke Akio]

Her thought on "experiencing life?" I'll be straightforward with you, it's crap. Sure, maybe she sounds completely sincere, but if she hasn't experienced any life by now, she's wrong. It's an excuse.
The whole "break" situation, she said she wants a break. That could quite possibly be her way of breaking up with you. Maybe forever, or just for the time being. But within that time of the beginning of the break and now, she may have felt she was free. Or, of course, single. It is awful she has being having sex with another guy, I would have felt cheated too. But yous weren't official, and maybe she had those frequent "breaks" with you to have sex with other men. During all of your previous "breaks," how do you know, she wasn't with that man during those times also?

[sHraLk]

Yep, she cheated on you. No excuse. Dump her.

[Flying_Jewish_Nazi]

Yes she has made you her tool. I feel sorry for you. This must a hard experience for you. She has no defense. My advice is to move on from her. She is self centered and probably won't change for you. Cheaters most likely relapse if they have done it more than once.

[Appoline Artemisia]

That's bull.
It doesn't matter if you are on a "break".
You aren't completely broken up, and by the way that you have been treating her, she should of realized that you really love her a long time ago.

She is completely in the wrong.

[inuyasha_n_kagome_rox142]

Somehow the name 'Rachel' and 'we were on a break' sounds familiar... Friends, anyone?

[Rizu-Sensei]

THAT IS A WICKED BAMF-ING PLAN!! RIGHT ON!!! XD

But...what the hell. Here's how you swing it. You get an orangutan. I’m not talking a little monkey or some dancing chimp bullshit, I mean a ******** orangutan. Don’t ask me how you’re gonna get a ******** orangutan, because that’s not my problem. So the orangutan’s name is Clyde, this is non-negotiable, all orangutans are named Clyde, I don’t know why that is, it’s just how the world works. So you and Clyde become man and ape about town. You’re seen everywhere together, you make the scene. You and friends go out in big groups. You talk loud, you laugh louder. Every time you say something witty, you high-five the orangutan. The town begins to buzz, it gets back to her: “Did you know the guy with the orangutan?”, “You used to date the guy with the orangutan?”, “Why would you break up with a guy with an orangutan?” Next thing you know she’s calling: “|’m hoping we can still be friends. Wanna hang out sometime?” “Geez, I dunno me and Clyde were going to go to a monstertruck race tonight (orangutans love monster trucks). In fact! the whole social calendar seems kinda full. I tell you what, I'll make a little note, what was your name again? And maybe I can squeeze you in. Oh, well, you know my number, so don’t be a stranger. Hey, look at the time! I gotta skate: Clyde’s making Mojitoes.” At this point the upper hand is yours. You can let her twist in the wind, you can draw her back into your life at the pace you decide. Whatever, it’s your life. But if you’re a smart man? You slowly phase her back in. You’re IM-ing, you’re talking Live. You get invited to family functions.You bring Clyde, he becomes like one of the family. You’re one big Brady Bunch.