females.

[MIND FUNGUS]

So I dated a girl named Rachael for about three years. We were each other's first.
I realized around last Halloween that I loved her.

Time goes by. I help her move into college. In December she tells me she wants a break.

No big deal. We've been on breaks before. This usually means a little space for a while. Time for ourselves you know?

I am a very liberated and liberating human being.

Christmas passes, I think we're still 'dating' but we're just distant. I buy her a beautiful green cloak.

New Years passes. I see her briefly that week.

Valentines comes and goes. I paint her something meaningful, and buy her an EXPENSIVE dinner at red lobster. We've been having casual sex, albeit not as often, for a while now.

February sixteenth, I find out that she's been ******** a guy named Ben for two months.

Now I am no saint. I've hurled my share of insults put-downs and slams. But I feel used here. She tells me that she doesn't feel guilty for ******** Ben. [the town bicycle] She tells me that she wants to experience life. Which is an idea I am very in favor of. However, she didn't tell me that she was ******** another man.
I feel extremely cheated on.

I feel like she's trying to get off on a technicality.

Her excuse is "We were on a break."

I am crushed.

Is there any possible way her defense can hold water?

[MeowMixMeowMixKitty]

Just for clearance, why is it titled "Females"?

[InSoMnIaTiC sMoKeR]

no... a break is different than breaking up. if thats what she meant shes a chicken, I would be pissed if i were you and I would take back all those gifts. In my opinion she dont deserve them!

also sleeping around has nothing to do with experiencing life.experiencing life is more like going to a different country or place. doing things you have not experienced not people.

buy your actions there she would have to be a moron to think you were NOT dating. i would NEVER do things like that for a friend. or an ex my best friend yes i would do anything for them. BUT this is a bit different.

Im sorry *hugs* being cheated on is never fun

[TylerTurtleDude]

If you've already been on breaks and she hasn't banged anyone else on those breaks than she has no defense. She probably should have elaborated when she said she needed a break like also saying "Im thinking we should see other people" or however that story goes. Anyway unless she banged a guy every single time "you were on a break" than she has no defense. But if she has she's a slut and you shouldn't be dating her.

[Moniquill]

You're equally at fault for not fully communicating to one another what your expectations of 'On a break' behavior entailed. She clearly had different expectations than you did.

That said, you don't own her. She doesn't need to 'get off' of anything. Your choices now are to either continue dating her or not continue dating her. Life isn't fair.

[blacklugnerrabbit]

InSoMnIaTiC sMoKeR

no... a break is different than breaking up. if thats what she meant shes a chicken, I would be pissed if i were you and I would take back all those gifts. In my opinion she dont deserve them!

also sleeping around has nothing to do with experiencing life.experiencing life is more like going to a different country or place. doing things you have not experienced not people.

buy your actions there she would have to be a moron to think you were NOT dating. i would NEVER do things like that for a friend. or an ex my best friend yes i would do anything for them. BUT this is a bit different.

Im sorry *hugs* being cheated on is never fun

This actually belongs in Life Issues, but apart from that, I noticed your sig. Did she die?

[Aslana]

If there was a Court of Love, her defense would work. Of course, the idea of going "on break" should have included specifics that both of you would be able to date and sleep with other people without any emotional repercussions, just to make sure that all the legalities are covered.

But relationships are not about technicalities. If she wants to get attention (among other things) from lots of people, then that's her problem. Don't make it yours.

Instead, cut off contact with her until you have been able to heal the wound and then try to move on.

And while you're at it, you should check out the Life Issues forum. It's perfect for this sort of thing. =3

[The.Scarfed.Avenger]

InSoMnIaTiC sMoKeR

no... a break is different than breaking up. if thats what she meant shes a chicken, I would be pissed if i were you and I would take back all those gifts. In my opinion she dont deserve them!

also sleeping around has nothing to do with experiencing life.experiencing life is more like going to a different country or place. doing things you have not experienced not people.

buy your actions there she would have to be a moron to think you were NOT dating. i would NEVER do things like that for a friend. or an ex my best friend yes i would do anything for them. BUT this is a bit different.

Im sorry *hugs* being cheated on is never fun

I agree, although, gifts are gifts, and when you give them, they will always mean something. And if you bought her a dinner, its food, digested, the past. So I wouldn't dwell on THAT too much...

And her excuse is bull crap. Just plain old crap with flies.

[InSoMnIaTiC sMoKeR]

blacklugnerrabbit

InSoMnIaTiC sMoKeR

no... a break is different than breaking up. if thats what she meant shes a chicken, I would be pissed if i were you and I would take back all those gifts. In my opinion she dont deserve them!

also sleeping around has nothing to do with experiencing life.experiencing life is more like going to a different country or place. doing things you have not experienced not people.

buy your actions there she would have to be a moron to think you were NOT dating. i would NEVER do things like that for a friend. or an ex my best friend yes i would do anything for them. BUT this is a bit different.

Im sorry *hugs* being cheated on is never fun

This actually belongs in Life Issues, but apart from that, I noticed your sig. Did she die?

no thats my old account it got hacked XD i was sad for a long time about it.... i need to put something else there i keep forgeting

[jewelle]

a break means that you are still dating.
she cheated, simple as that.

[[Castration Pop]]

Google "DTMFA"

[Lethargic Robot]

Moniquill

You're equally at fault for not fully communicating to one another what your expectations of 'On a break' behavior entailed. She clearly had different expectations than you did.

That said, you don't own her. She doesn't need to 'get off' of anything. Your choices now are to either continue dating her or not continue dating her. Life isn't fair.

I don't think the OP could have stated any clearer that he doesn't own her. You completely missed the point.

[AmbitionTM]

Say you just dump her.
The big idea was that you guys were on a break.
Different from breaking up.
If anything just go find another girlfriend.
No point of trying to reason with somebody who broke that "bond".

[Minion of Kiloran]

hey, you're sure as hell broken up now, and there's nothing for it.

But...what the hell. Here's how you swing it. You get an orangutan. I’m not talking a little monkey or some dancing chimp bullshit, I mean a ******** orangutan. Don’t ask me how you’re gonna get a ******** orangutan, because that’s not my problem. So the orangutan’s name is Clyde, this is non-negotiable, all orangutans are named Clyde, I don’t know why that is, it’s just how the world works. So you and Clyde become man and ape about town. You’re seen everywhere together, you make the scene. You and friends go out in big groups. You talk loud, you laugh louder. Every time you say something witty, you high-five the orangutan. The town begins to buzz, it gets back to her: “Did you know the guy with the orangutan?”, “You used to date the guy with the orangutan?”, “Why would you break up with a guy with an orangutan?” Next thing you know she’s calling: “|’m hoping we can still be friends. Wanna hang out sometime?” “Geez, I dunno me and Clyde were going to go to a monstertruck race tonight (orangutans love monster trucks). In fact! the whole social calendar seems kinda full. I tell you what, I'll make a little note, what was your name again? And maybe I can squeeze you in. Oh, well, you know my number, so don’t be a stranger. Hey, look at the time! I gotta skate: Clyde’s making Mojitoes.” At this point the upper hand is yours. You can let her twist in the wind, you can draw her back into your life at the pace you decide. Whatever, it’s your life. But if you’re a smart man? You slowly phase her back in. You’re IM-ing, you’re talking Live. You get invited to family functions.You bring Clyde, he becomes like one of the family. You’re one big Brady Bunch.

[Moniquill]

Lethargic Robot

Moniquill

You're equally at fault for not fully communicating to one another what your expectations of 'On a break' behavior entailed. She clearly had different expectations than you did.

That said, you don't own her. She doesn't need to 'get off' of anything. Your choices now are to either continue dating her or not continue dating her. Life isn't fair.

I don't think the OP could have stated any clearer that he doesn't own her. You completely missed the point.

The social construction of 'cheating' assumes that romantic partners own one another (Or worse, that the male partner owns the female one). If people own themselves, and decide to have sex with someone other than their romantic partner, that's not cheating. It's a failure of communication of behavioral expectations between two free agents who willingly enter into a relationship.