Do I ''analyze'' every social situation too much...?

[sikio]

poppuu

So well, when I'm talking with someone I am also thinking about why they act like that, what should I do next, why are they in that kind of mood etc. But I don't think that in a ''emotional'' way, it's more like in a logical way, and when they express a very strong emotion I just get really lost.

I mean, when I'm having fun with someone, and I'm laughing a lot, I say to myself at some point ''Why are you laughing like that? How is that person doing that to me? Am I being fake because inside I'm asking myself this when in the outside I am laughing? How am I reacting like this to him/his actions?'', and yeah, it sounds very stupid but that's how it is, I just focus on the logical and thinking part of myself and my emotional part disappears for a few seconds, my point of view becomes totally criticizing.

I don't think of people as if I was one of them. I don't know if I'm being fake or not, because inside I'm cold, but then again I love my friends and I don't want to lose them but that second thing feels very superficial to me but at the same time it isn't, wow, I'm just confused as when I tell people about this. Sometimes I even need some time to organize my thoughts because they don't make sense and when this happens and I look like I went blank and my friends are like, ''hey, are you there?''.

Also, I know that every human in this world wants to be appreciated and loved by the others so they do stuff that they don't really wanna do or would do for themselves but they do it just to fit in the society, but, am I really doing that to my friends? Or is that what I really want? If I'm laughing with them and being nice to them, am I being fake again? Sometimes I think it's because I don't wanna be alone, because nobody wants to be alone, so I do that for myself, because I'm very selfish or something, but not because they're my true friends, not to please them, I don't know... I don't know if you get the idea since it isn't clear for me either, it's difficult to understand I guess...


I'm asking this because it's getting really annoying cause when I'm trying to have a good time with someone my mind suddenly starts asking myself these kind of questions and everything becomes fake and I feel like I don't really belong there, like I'm not one of ''them''? But that happens till I start thinking of it which is almost always when I find myself in a social situation.

Also, sorry for my bad english.

This does not, as someone else on this thread said, sound like sociopathy. A sociopath has a lack of empathy, and it is best not to jump to a conclusion that is as severe as sociopathy when the only clue one has is that you analyze human behaviour. On the other hand, there is an entire personality disorder based upon analyzing the behaviour of those around you and yourself. It is called AvPD, or Avoidant Personality Disorder. It could also be OCD.

[Ivy_sins]

I do sort of the same thing, but I don't take it as far as you do. Like, even when I was sitting and watching TV with my daughter's father, and his attention came off the TV and went to me, I thought why he would do that and how he probably feels. Glad to see I'm not the only one to do it, but wow I couldn't manage it at your level of thought. :O

[caIumny]

sikio

poppuu

So well, when I'm talking with someone I am also thinking about why they act like that, what should I do next, why are they in that kind of mood etc. But I don't think that in a ''emotional'' way, it's more like in a logical way, and when they express a very strong emotion I just get really lost.

I mean, when I'm having fun with someone, and I'm laughing a lot, I say to myself at some point ''Why are you laughing like that? How is that person doing that to me? Am I being fake because inside I'm asking myself this when in the outside I am laughing? How am I reacting like this to him/his actions?'', and yeah, it sounds very stupid but that's how it is, I just focus on the logical and thinking part of myself and my emotional part disappears for a few seconds, my point of view becomes totally criticizing.

I don't think of people as if I was one of them. I don't know if I'm being fake or not, because inside I'm cold, but then again I love my friends and I don't want to lose them but that second thing feels very superficial to me but at the same time it isn't, wow, I'm just confused as when I tell people about this. Sometimes I even need some time to organize my thoughts because they don't make sense and when this happens and I look like I went blank and my friends are like, ''hey, are you there?''.

Also, I know that every human in this world wants to be appreciated and loved by the others so they do stuff that they don't really wanna do or would do for themselves but they do it just to fit in the society, but, am I really doing that to my friends? Or is that what I really want? If I'm laughing with them and being nice to them, am I being fake again? Sometimes I think it's because I don't wanna be alone, because nobody wants to be alone, so I do that for myself, because I'm very selfish or something, but not because they're my true friends, not to please them, I don't know... I don't know if you get the idea since it isn't clear for me either, it's difficult to understand I guess...


I'm asking this because it's getting really annoying cause when I'm trying to have a good time with someone my mind suddenly starts asking myself these kind of questions and everything becomes fake and I feel like I don't really belong there, like I'm not one of ''them''? But that happens till I start thinking of it which is almost always when I find myself in a social situation.

Also, sorry for my bad english.

This does not, as someone else on this thread said, sound like sociopathy. A sociopath has a lack of empathy, and it is best not to jump to a conclusion that is as severe as sociopathy when the only clue one has is that you analyze human behaviour. On the other hand, there is an entire personality disorder based upon analyzing the behaviour of those around you and yourself. It is called AvPD, or Avoidant Personality Disorder. It could also be OCD.

I don't know if I lack empathy. If you mean that I can't really be in another person's place in like, a not logical way, well, I think I can do it but my family has told me several times that I can't because I'm very cold and that I think I don't lack empathy but I do. They tell me this but I don't really understand why, when they have a problem I understand why they have it and everything but most times it's their fault so I tell them they had to be more careful about it before it happened and that they just need to calm down and do something to solve that problem or something but they still say that I don't understand at all, but I do, and I'm helping them, but the only thing they do is bother me talking about their problems, like if I could do something about it. They're not helping either by telling me I'm cold neutral
Also, I had many problems at home so they wouldn't stop crying about those problems and that stuff, so I went to the psychologist and she was surprised I didn't have any problems with my grades or anything because of my problems at home (they were kinda serious), but instead of having bad grades I had the best ones in my class, like it didn't affect me at all. I had those problems at school too with other people so I moved to my grandparents' house by using the excuse that those problems would affect my education and everything, and also because they were always talking about their problems and telling me stuff that I shouldn't know (I used to live with my mother and my other grandmother, they're very young), sooo I moved here.
I don't know if that had anything to do with it.

[sikio]

poppuu

sikio

poppuu

So well, when I'm talking with someone I am also thinking about why they act like that, what should I do next, why are they in that kind of mood etc. But I don't think that in a ''emotional'' way, it's more like in a logical way, and when they express a very strong emotion I just get really lost.

I mean, when I'm having fun with someone, and I'm laughing a lot, I say to myself at some point ''Why are you laughing like that? How is that person doing that to me? Am I being fake because inside I'm asking myself this when in the outside I am laughing? How am I reacting like this to him/his actions?'', and yeah, it sounds very stupid but that's how it is, I just focus on the logical and thinking part of myself and my emotional part disappears for a few seconds, my point of view becomes totally criticizing.

I don't think of people as if I was one of them. I don't know if I'm being fake or not, because inside I'm cold, but then again I love my friends and I don't want to lose them but that second thing feels very superficial to me but at the same time it isn't, wow, I'm just confused as when I tell people about this. Sometimes I even need some time to organize my thoughts because they don't make sense and when this happens and I look like I went blank and my friends are like, ''hey, are you there?''.

Also, I know that every human in this world wants to be appreciated and loved by the others so they do stuff that they don't really wanna do or would do for themselves but they do it just to fit in the society, but, am I really doing that to my friends? Or is that what I really want? If I'm laughing with them and being nice to them, am I being fake again? Sometimes I think it's because I don't wanna be alone, because nobody wants to be alone, so I do that for myself, because I'm very selfish or something, but not because they're my true friends, not to please them, I don't know... I don't know if you get the idea since it isn't clear for me either, it's difficult to understand I guess...


I'm asking this because it's getting really annoying cause when I'm trying to have a good time with someone my mind suddenly starts asking myself these kind of questions and everything becomes fake and I feel like I don't really belong there, like I'm not one of ''them''? But that happens till I start thinking of it which is almost always when I find myself in a social situation.

Also, sorry for my bad english.

This does not, as someone else on this thread said, sound like sociopathy. A sociopath has a lack of empathy, and it is best not to jump to a conclusion that is as severe as sociopathy when the only clue one has is that you analyze human behaviour. On the other hand, there is an entire personality disorder based upon analyzing the behaviour of those around you and yourself. It is called AvPD, or Avoidant Personality Disorder. It could also be OCD.

I don't know if I lack empathy. If you mean that I can't really be in another person's place in like, a not logical way, well, I think I can do it but my family has told me several times that I can't because I'm very cold and that I think I don't lack empathy but I do. They tell me this but I don't really understand why, when they have a problem I understand why they have it and everything but most times it's their fault so I tell them they had to be more careful about it before it happened and that they just need to calm down and do something to solve that problem or something but they still say that I don't understand at all, but I do, and I'm helping them, but the only thing they do is bother me talking about their problems, like if I could do something about it. They're not helping either by telling me I'm cold neutral
Also, I had many problems at home so they wouldn't stop crying about those problems and that stuff, so I went to the psychologist and she was surprised I didn't have any problems with my grades or anything because of my problems at home (they were kinda serious), but instead of having bad grades I had the best ones in my class, like it didn't affect me at all. I had those problems at school too with other people so I moved to my grandparents' house by using the excuse that those problems would affect my education and everything, and also because they were always talking about their problems and telling me stuff that I shouldn't know (I used to live with my mother and my other grandmother, they're very young), sooo I moved here.
I don't know if that had anything to do with it.

As far as lack of empathy goes, it's perfectly fine to be distant or cold. The problem arises when you can't place yourself in someone else's shoes. There are many "distant" or "cold" persons, and they are usually introverted more than actually being cold-hearted and don't feel comfortable with openly expressing emotion.
As for your case, if the child views the parent(s) as unstable, they will do one of two things. a) go on a downward spiral, leading to bad grades and depressed/agitated mood. This is the most common. Or b) they will attempt to assume a responsible role, trying to fill the instability by appearing stable. This leads to the child repressing their own emotions in order to comfort those of their parents. Often, this means the child will attempt to be "perfect" (like getting high grades) so as to not cause the parents worry. This stable facade tends to last all throughout the person's life, as this is the way they've learned how to deal with stress and problems in childhood. Often, children who do this develop resentment toward their parents because they, very understandably, become upset that they were not able to fully enjoy their childhood because their parents were not stable enough. They also tend to go through depression due to the pressures and stresses that are placed upon them much too early.

[Sneaker Pimps]

It is good to analyse situations but if you delve to deeply into everything that happens you will frustrate yourself in your every day life and become bothersome to others around you.