Dirty Little Secrets [Announcement 11/8/2023]

Before I go, I've got to know:

Is that what you mean to say?	29.1%	[ 735 ]
Before I rise to my defense,	5.0%	[ 126 ]
Before I speak in hurt or fear,	5.6%	[ 142 ]
Before I build that wall of words,	4.3%	[ 109 ]
Tell me: did I really hear?	10.2%	[ 258 ]
Words are windows, or they're walls,	9.8%	[ 248 ]
They sentence us, or set us free.	6.2%	[ 156 ]
When I speak and when I hear,	2.9%	[ 74 ]
Let the love light shine through me.	26.8%	[ 675 ]
Total Votes:			[ 2523 ]

[Everyday Arson Man]

Vingt cinq

Everything feels terribly, horribly wrong.

[overfiend thunderchrist]

People talk about madness and mental disorders like they're funny or amusing, and that pisses me off so much.

Lovecraft was completely out of his head most of his life, and I've tasted enough madness to know that I never want to go back to it.

I used to think they were funny or amusing, though, so I guess SUCKS TO MY a**-MAR. rofl

/

I don't regret having the perspective that I have. I'd rather things just ended than suffered forever in a hopeless darkness. I'll be okay with sleeping forever. It's like Mark Twain said: You weren't alive for an incomprehensible amount of time before you were born, and that never bothered you, so what's so bad about being dead?

The only thing I really fear is leaving too many things unfinished. I care too much, I guess. sweatdrop

[Lovecrafty]

-Rolls over-
Mrow..
-purrs-

[hyruled]

well that tasted horrible.
;____ ;

[tastes like sailor]

I meant it as a joke, teasing you a little, since I'd had to half-a** correct you a few times already. I really don't expect you to play it. I know how people feel about it, especially Eli, and I really wasn't trying to be offensive. But your mouth... God, sometimes I can't handle it. I got mad. I'm sorry. It was stupid anyway. It was my fault. But why do you have to sound so damn mean sometimes?

I get it... I'm a ********. I play WoW, I smoke pot, I do all sorts of s**t that I shouldn't. All of my friends are touchy-feely assholes. I can't ******** do anything right. I get it. But still...

I wish you hadn't done that, even though I should've known you would, because of how I am. Tonight wasn't a good night to have that happen. Tonight just isn't my night.

[tastes like sailor]

El Hombre Nuevo

Vingt cinq

Everything feels terribly, horribly wrong.
And I don't have anyone to blame but myself.

[Aeowen Goddess]

-rubs belly-
Goooood Kittii~~
Nao, be still and I'll comb your furs.
-combs-
Bestesh kittii in dah world. ^_^
When do you want me to see you this week?

[tastes like sailor]

This is just one of those nights where I want to go curl up in a ball and cease to exist. Horrible day, with everyone yelling and breaking s**t again. Justin's got a bad attitude because he was caught cheating again. He took his phone with him so I couldn't call any of my friends or anything. Barbara had to work, so no one to talk to that could keep me sane. All this, on top of not having any food? Yeah, I was bound to get pissy eventually. I just wish I hadn't gotten pissy at Dezz. Now it feels too weird to try and talk to him. Wtf do I say? "I'm sorry I was being a b***h there"? I am sorry, but... I dunno. Just saying that doesn't feel right.

I'm too strung out right now. My patience with everything is wearing really thin. My emotions are all out of whack and I can barely control them. I want distance from everything personal right now, but that would just make me feel worse. I know I'll spiral out of control for sure. I need something, or someone, to keep me sane. I'm trying to quit smoking and I'm trying to end my WoW addiction and I'm desperately trying to end this marriage that I don't want anymore, and I don't even have my babies.

Everything's just piling up and I'm turning into a ticking time bomb and I'm sorry.

[Lovecrafty]

Whenever you want... I work until 9 tomorrow,
and duhn work at all a bunch after dat~ biggrin

[tastes like sailor]

Even the tiniest little things right now feel like huge, dramatic explosions.

[Aeowen Goddess]

Okaii, Miss.
I work at 4 tomorrow so maybe Monday?
I duhn have any plans til later that day.

[` Divinity]

I feel like I'm giving it my all, and not receiving anything in turn.

[Lovecrafty]

Sure~