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Holy water cannot help you now, thousand armies couldn't keep me out

I don't want your money, I don't want your crown, 0.21167883211679 21.2% [ 58 ]
See I've come to burn your kingdom down. 0.14963503649635 15.0% [ 41 ]
Holy water cannot help you now, 0.08029197080292 8.0% [ 22 ]
See I've come to burn your kingdom down, 0.11678832116788 11.7% [ 32 ]
And no rivers and no lakes, can put the fire out 0.062043795620438 6.2% [ 17 ]
I'm gonna raise the stakes, I'm gonna smoke you out. 0.10583941605839 10.6% [ 29 ]
Seven devils all around me, seven devils in my house 0.27372262773723 27.4% [ 75 ]
Total Votes:[ 274 ]

it can finish downloading and i'll be in literary heaven.
107 new books at my fingertips.
its too late for me to be up and at home.
I should be at a gig, getting drunk and stupid.
its saturday, jfc.
What a difference less than a year makes tho.
I went through my posts and jesus christ did I sound angry over nothing and overrationalizing everything.
I don't give a ******** about anything like that anymore.

literally none of what I wrote bothers me now.
who'dathunk it.

Guess i'm all growed up, or things are a lot better
I even feel like a different person.
Guess being not sick will do that to you?
Summer is hard for me.
Mostly, I remember how his hands felt.
Sweaty, usually.
It's uncomfortable to remember,
but I just get flooded with residual when I get hot.
It's suffocating.
Cold is easier.
mewkittyy's avatar

Feral Shoujo

I. HATE. THIS. I'm starting to feel weak.
I'm afraid I'm going to mess this up.

i don't know what to do. I am trying to stick with this.
tracking everything as much as I can.

I want to be able to go outside and just walk, or /something/ but I just can't get myself to.
the amount of anxiety that builds up inside me is too much to handle.

and i don't have any money. i would love to join a yoga class with my mom. but i couldn't ask her to pay for that too, on top of everything else.
So what am I supposed to do?
With how much therapy I'm doing, I can't get a job.
Nor could I handle it regardless.

i feel like a leech.
A great burden upon my whole family.
I just want to finish Uni.
I'm thankful to be able to go back in the Fall, but I'm afraid I'll just mess it all up again.

i guess going to bed would be a good idea.
Maybe I'll stop worrying so much.

Above all else, I just want to love myself.
Everyone around me says how "wonderful, intelligent, beautiful, funny, and amazing" I am.
But I could never believe anything like that.

When I look in the mirror, I feel like I'm looking at someone else.
and my weight contributes to my anxiety.

I used to play basketball for my HS. I did volleyball, I went to the gym, I played Tennis.
now I can barely walk for 30 minutes at a /regular/ pace.

trying so hard not to give up.
I know deep down there's something worth finding.

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