Dirty Little Secrets [5/14/08]

[singalinger]

I guess what I wanted was sex. And I guess that's all you wanted from me, too. So ultimately, I have no right, at all, to be upset.

These feelings came out of no where and I let them get me mad at you. You're just trying to lay down the line, right? I'm not allowed to think about you anymore because you don't want that. I won't. I won't. I won't. I never let myself love you, and I'm so proud of myself for that! I avoided getting really hurt. And you were the first person I ever really let in.

Just my luck though. The only boy I ever welcomed into my heart only peeked, left a small mess, and then left with nothing but a, 'I can't do this anymore'. I'm never allowed to let people in. People come and go. What's the point of trying to love them? It's so too painful...

I'm just so upset
that you told me
so many times
that you liked me
and not only that,
but like LIKED me
like a little child
who couldn't articulate
exactly
what's
in
his
heart...
What exactly is in your heart?
How could you ever think you were an open book?
I don't understand you.
I can't read you.
You're so hurt, baby.
I'm sorry.

I want to break you open................................................. kiss your scars. Kiss them all away. Kiss away the hurt, I didn't want to let you down, you know? I'm a hopeless romantic. All I want to do and be surrounded with is love. I'm so sorry I couldn't be the one to heal you, darling. I'm disappointed at the pain you hold within you. I wish I could wash it all away.............. I wish you would let me. I wish I knew how to burst into your doors and slap you awake. I hope whoever unlocks you is as wonderful as you are. And I bet they will be, because they'll be beautiful enough to figure you all out.

[Frozen Mascara]

I wish that I could be in lots of different places at any one time

[singalinger]

There are still feelings but I'm still gonna have sex with you. Lol.

[singalinger]

I always get too excited for 4:20 and end up packing a bowl at 4:16 and smoking it. And every time I do it I snicker at the thought as if I'm thinking about it for the first time.

[Frozen Mascara]

Ten years ago, there is no way I would've thought that I would be working in a government office and studying pharmacy. Strange how things turn out, good or bad.

[singalinger]

Every day the problems get bigger
and wider
and are put on a grander scale of things.
Whining is just an outlet.

[singalinger]

I hate to admit it but you broke my heart
you broke my heart
you broke it.
and no matter how much I tell myself
that I used you, too
I can't bring myself
to believe myself
because
I loved you
I ******** loved you
I opened up to you
and you let me
and you told me that you felt the same way
do you remember that?
I thought you wanted me
to like you, too
I feel so horrible
This is a huge hit to my ego
and to everything I am
I am not very confident with myself
I wish I had never let myself
melt with you
This is what I've avoided my entire
life.
Ever loving someone.
Ever letting myself fall
for anyone.
Why would my first love be such a
horrid heartbreak?
How unfair.
I didn't ever want someone to validate
me
but you did
you made me alive.
Why did you let me love you
Why didn't you tell me to stop
I am so disappointed
in you
I loved you so much.
I trusted you.

[singalinger]

I didn't love myself before you
and now that you're gone
I hate myself even more than ever

[EchoXNarci]

you would be a shitty father and a worse husband. if you get me pregnant I'm getting an abortion.

[EchoXNarci]

no, i have to quell these thoughts and feelings before they transmute. I have to remember you are just like this sometimes, its totally meaningless.

Oh you are gonna ******** upmy s**t.

DLS, three men are together conspiring to ******** up my s**t.

and of the women? one AWOL and one getting MARRIED.


******** you guys.

[EchoXNarci]

i watched "what to expect when you're expecting". dumb movie, but eh.

~~~~
i keep thinking i should break it off. but then i think of how lonely i will be. and then i think of how lonely i all ready am.

[WinterKitty]

I'm not ready to be married. But I'm ready for the IDEA of getting married.
I'm so in love with you but I don't know if you're ever going to propose.
I hate that I'm looking at engagement rings and wedding dresses and getting butterflies from it.
Gaahhhasdjfalsjdf
Getting my hopes up for something that might not even happen is frustrating.

[Affilana]

I can't bring myself to tell you how badly I need you in my life. I've always been labelled as "too clingy" or "too needy". Maybe I fall too fast, fall too hard. But I need you. I need you more than I need the air I breathe.

Whenever I'm away from you I'm miserable. It's hard to smile, it's hard to not cry. It's hard to be so far from you. It hurts to not be held by you. It hurts to know I can only see you through this screen.

Maybe if I hadn't f**ked up so badly....maybe if I hadn't left all those years ago, I'd still have you. You'd still be mine. Maybe if I had just ignored my friends and stayed with you, we wouldn't be here now....together but apart.

I loved you then, I loved you when I was gone, and I love you now. I believe what hurts me most is that I need you, so much. And you need me too. I know you do. I love that smile you have when we're together. It makes me melt. I can see how happy you are, and I do that to you. Do you know how happy that makes me?

I can't wait to spend forever with you. Next to you, always. I'm your Princess, and you're my Knight, and I love you so much it makes me want to cry. <3

[Morbiditea]

My liver hates me.

[fae goat]

I love helping my friends with their emotional problems, and once its over i tend to let myself disappear from them and grow distance.
I tell them its because they don't need me anymore.
They say that they always need me.
But i cant bring myself to tell them that i need myself more because i don't believe they can help me with mine.