Dirty Little Secrets [5/14/08]

[wise_ninja_person]

I'm tired of feeling alone even though I know I'm not.
Can my love life start now? ...Please?

[City Of Bones]

I'm in love with my boyfriend of one year.. But he doesn't satisfy me sexually. It's starting to become a problem. I am always frustrated because he finishes before me and doesn't finish me off. I can only finish if I do it myself. I've talked to him about it, but he seems to have given up on it... That worries me.. Maybe he will give up on our relationship, too? :/

[my_beloved_chaos]

I don't love my boyfriend anymore... We've been together 7 years and he wants to get a house and get married but I don't want to come home to him anymore... I think I'm ready for some time alone but i have no idea how to tell him that without tearing him up inside.

[Rei]

I can't do this anymore. I am just so.... I don't know. I can go on pretending like I am fine when I really just want to break the ******** down.

Why bother with life anymore? Just why? I try my best, every day, to be a nice person to everyone and try to make others smile and just have a good day and does anything ever go right for me? ******** no.

Why should I bother trying to be a good person anymore? The world has screwed me over so many damned times.

The man of my life, whom I love more than anything, is possibly dying- we won't know for sure until Thursday, but seeing a specialist 45 minutes away about your liver is never a good thing. What else could it be?
We are planning on getting married but marriages are ******** expensive for one and for two we are on the brink of being homeless. Wouldn't that be a lovely sight to see? Our asses on the side of the road, barely getting by as it is. And does anyone give a s**t? No.. certainly not this "great" country of ours. We're forking out thousands of dollars to aid other countries but what about OUR OWN damn country?! What about the Americans whom helped build this country to where it is now? I guess no one does care.

And anyone I can talk to about how I feel? Nope... none other than hidden faces behind a computer screen but who HONESTLY GIVES A s**t? People act like they care but in their own minds their just watching out for their own selves. Maybe I should just start doing that, watching out for mine and my fiance'. Anyone else can go suck it. I am tired of being so nice and helping others out and no one helps me in return. I just don't understand why life has to be such s**t. Why cant I know more caring people? Why can't anyone just help me without me asking for help. I want so much to ask for it but I don't want to let myself sink that low.

I have no friends, other than him, and my family- well they don't like him so they sure as hell won't help in the least.

So.. if he dies before we can even get married I won't know what the ******** to do. I won't even be a widow I'll just be some single girl- who no one will ever love, whose fiance' died before they could afford a damn wedding.

Those celebrities have it so easy... =/. Fork out money for useless things. If I had money I wouldn't waste it on bullshit. It would go to use. He could stay alive. Right now, I just wish I could have enough money to keep my head above water.

I feel like im drowning but I cant reach out for help. No one will grab my hand. Why can't some one just notice that I am not ok? Because I really am not.

[wise_ninja_person]

God, help me stop being so rash. All these impromptu plans and them always falling through is making me go crazy.

Maybe someday I'll relearn the lesson I learned long ago:
"Don't put hope into things; it'll just let you down, and after rising so high on faith, you'll only far longer and hit harder when it all comes tumbling down."

[Aikoginshika]

Aikoginshika

Him-change is the only constant in the universe. and as long as you want me ill be there ok?
Me-nothing says you will always want to be there
Him-i do


*sigh* I love him so much. I can't believe he said THAT. I was kinda really upset and the second I read those words.... all the horrible feelings.... Just melted all away....

What changed.... this was so long ago... we were together for four years, one month, two weeks, and two days.... we've been broken up for one month, two weeks, and six days.... i miss feeling like that...


but my secret, i suppose that i don't think i really miss you.... i miss that feeling... i miss being in love... i miss loving and feeling loved... i miss the butterflies.... i miss feeling so great that i felt like i was about to pop.... i miss going on dates... i miss feeling special.... but..... i don't think i really miss.... you

[itswatashi]

I don't use gaia anymore but every time I'm at my lowest I always log on and come to this Thread.

I wish I wasn't so alone.

[StaleSugar]

I'm gay.

I guess its not really a secret since everyone knows...

Except my husband.