Dirty Little Secrets [ 12/8/2012 ]

So you feel entitled to a sense of control

And make decisions that you think are your own	15.6%	[ 50 ]
You are a stanger here	13.1%	[ 42 ]
Why have you come, why have you come?	7.2%	[ 23 ]
Lift me higher	12.5%	[ 40 ]
Let me look at the sun, look at the sun	8.1%	[ 26 ]
And once I hear them clearly say,	2.8%	[ 9 ]
Who are you really?	40.6%	[ 130 ]
Total Votes:			[ 320 ]

[Vashthefool]

Yesterday I had meant to work on one emotion but I couldn't figure out any examples or ways to cause it so I switched to a different one. Tonight I found an example, which is good, but now I don't know if I should even mention it or not because it seems so childish. At least I can work on it now. But do I tell my friend or not? I'm hyper sensitive because it is so new, that's all. Yes, that's it.

[A Goonie Never Says Die]

I feel so sick about this.
Before you messaged me, I had made plans to say my goodbyes, via birthday present.

I'm going to make you CDs to listen to, I'm going to write you letters, and I'm going to put all of the presents I wanted to give you in a box. And I was going to leave it on your doorstep, with your name on it. Or in your mailbox or something. I don't know. And I was just going to pick up and move on, because... Well, why should I be waiting around for you?

You seemed to make it quite apparent that I'm not worth the struggle, the hardships, when you ditched out on me. I don't know if I'm being too harsh. Look, I don't hate you at all. I'm just. I feel really betrayed. You let me down. You basically let me fall, let me jump. You didn't stop me. You weren't there. You weren't there when I jumped. You didn't feel like trying was worth it anymore. I'm not worth it to you. Or at least that's the message that I received. I don't know if it's what you meant. I don't know. But I don't know what else what you were doing meant. I don't. If I'm telling you constantly that I can't handle breathing, that I don't want to wake up in the morning, that I can't concentrate, or think, or live comfortably, why would you just let me fall? I thought I meant more to you than that.

[pofew]

the naughty buddha

I'm so afraid of losing my teeth early. I didn't take care of them properly for a long time when I was growing up and now it's caught up to me.

It doesn't help that my mother never taught me how to properly take care of myself as a child. And then when I got braces they had those mother ******** hooks on them, which made my teeth impossible to brush so I just gave up.

So now that I'm an adult my teeth are so ******** up it isn't even funny. I'm super self conscious about them, because they look like s**t and I know it. They're rotting, they're grossly colored, and I know there's no fixing them now.
I'll probably have to get fake teeth. I'm terrified of going to the dentist.

[El Hombre Nuevo]

Or not... I'm sad now. :/ This trip needs to come sooner.

I just want to wake up in that motel next to you. And then I want to wake up obscenely early, like we do when we're together. And I want to cuddle and watch some bad TV. Listen to ********. Hell. Sit in silence together. I don't give two shits what we do, I just want to be with you. I miss that.

[Steam Powered Gypsy]

I'm tired of reaching to the stars for you. You can't handle me and don't deserve me.. why do I keep breaking my heart for you.

"In a while now I will feel better
I’ll face the weather before me
In a while now I’ll race the irony
And buy back each word of my eulogy

[A Goonie Never Says Die]

I don't see this ending well, and it really tears me apart.

[Audiogasms]

I wish I was engaging, interesting, attractive.
I wish I could be something I'm not.
I wish I wasn't me.

[tokyo_dishwater]

Ok, ok, DLS.

I gotta sleep.

But first?

Just gotta share this;

Perfect ending to an already freakin awesome day!!!


I got to hear his voice again. <3 Kinda wish we could have talked longer, but I gotta be up at 6:30 this morning neutral
Regardless. It was wonderful getting to talk to him. And that Stracciatella he send me came in today! It was DELICIOUS. And made me so happy, not only that he sent it to me-- but that he remembered such a trivial little fact as my favorite ice cream, and had it shipped to me from Europe. He's far too good to me. And the note on the cooler? Made my heart just melt on the spot. I'm hanging it up on my wall tonight. emotion_awesome

On top of that, when I walk into the room? A little, adorably wrapped package was sitting on the table next to a little card with my name on it. Someone got me that bracelet I've been looking at from my favorite jeweler! Stunning, elegant white-gold bracelet with blue topaz on either end (my favorite gemstone). It was so gorgeous. And it wasn't that cheap, pale hue that you get from knockoffs. It was a real, deep, vibrant topaz blue. Stunning.

No name on the card, though. Which I suppose is both good and bad.


Either way.
The bracelet is lovely. I'm so glad I get to have it without spending all that money.



I'd still take Stracciatella from my man over a bracelet from a stranger any day, though.



And with that?


Goodnight, DLS (:

[Frenchy64]

I can't work for you anymore.
I'm getting a better job, and telling you to shove it.
The $350 I 'owe' you for that stupid ******** check?
Tough poopie.
Those hours you're gonna have to fill when I leave?
Tough poopie.
Those customers you're gonna lose when I'm gone?
Tough poopie.

This German rap I'm currently listening to?
Awesome.

~ ninja

[tastes like sailor]

I've been just sitting on the DLS page for like 20-30 minutes now. I have no idea how to word how
I'm feeling, but just sitting here is comforting. I don't know why, but it is. Just seeing the page makes
me feel better.

[Surgical Heart]

Oh, how I look forward to silencing your screams by placing my hand on your throat.

How I look forward to your hand on mine.

Not out of fear, but out of encouragement. Love.

You are the only person on the planet who knows me for who I am. And it is why I am so fiercely loyal to you.

[Senseless Sentences]

♔ Look at me now <3

[Senseless Sentences]

♔ Well aren't you a pompous little a**.
I beg to differ.

[Chronogenesis]

yum_tea
My friend count is down to zero.
I'm alone now.
As much as I believe in my own inevitability, it would be nice for one person to prove me wrong.
Care about the person I am and how I feel.
For someone to actually be there for me.
But I suppose I ask for too much and Solitude's position as one of The Chronics is confirmed.

[Nova Release]

I look upon the new day and realize, that I'm still feeling under the weather. I wish whatever this was would pass already, it's wearing me down.

My sleep is restless, I'm feeling the effects starting to catch up with me, and it's affecting my work pace. I really hope my supervisor isn't too harsh on me.