Dirty Little Secrets [Announcement 11/8/2023]

Before I go, I've got to know:

Is that what you mean to say?	29.2%	[ 743 ]
Before I rise to my defense,	5.0%	[ 127 ]
Before I speak in hurt or fear,	5.6%	[ 142 ]
Before I build that wall of words,	4.3%	[ 110 ]
Tell me: did I really hear?	10.2%	[ 260 ]
Words are windows, or they're walls,	9.8%	[ 249 ]
They sentence us, or set us free.	6.1%	[ 156 ]
When I speak and when I hear,	2.9%	[ 75 ]
Let the love light shine through me.	26.8%	[ 681 ]
Total Votes:			[ 2543 ]

[cosmosredshift7]

----

Hahaha why do I even try
I'm such a failure of a human being.
I'm gonna try to sleep away this empty feeling

----

[Jemnu]

There's two sides to it.
One - you say you're engaged and it's an extreme jump.
Two - it's simply a special ring to bring you that commitment so you can work TOWARDS marriage LATER.

Number two sounds less "jumpy". Yah feel?
That's why it's so HARD to explain it to people.

It's almost like a different kind of engagement.
For me, at least.
It's important to me, extremely important,
but I don't see it as very jumpy,
especially when we had dated before and I know her too well.
Especially when we re-newed this bond.
I was only nervous of telling people about it,
I'm not anxious over planning right away, etc.
We still need chunks of time.

I don't think my family and some of my friends will see eye to eye on this.

[Hellodies]

Zetta Stack up at 120b... lol
Ugh, so much for saving up on it. Might as well just stop going after it.
It'll only get to just like the original..
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Home from work since my legs were giving out. Boss was okay with it, since Alex came over to take the rest of my night shift. I owe her one, hehe...

[Jemnu]

Either way...
without even knowing what they'll say,
it sucks to keep it to myself
and feel almost ashamed of being engaged?..
That's how it feels.
I want to be happy, not nervous.
I want to announce it to everyone.
I am so happy inside...that I said yes.
Because something clicked together....and it's HARD to explain that /feeling/ to people.

If it doesn't work?
Then it doesn't work. Period.
Both of us will be working very hard, from this day on,
being committed, working and getting paid, saving up, planning later on, visiting, etc.
I hope it will bring more good for us both, and make us a stronger tie.

It would be sad if it didn't work, sure.
But I hope it wouldn't magically allow people to say "I told you so!" and rub it in my face.
We're taking this seriously. At least, I know I will.
The fact that she proposed..bought me a ring, that shows me she's serious, obviously. She told her whole family..
And if it didn't work out for some unknown reason,
I'd like to be treated how any other ex-fiance would be treated.....which...I don't know how they are treated, BUT, you know what I mean.....
Blegh...

I'm thinking too much.

[shiny spoink]

im back, dls.

[Decaying Harlot]

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******** me ******** me ******** me.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ★ ★ ★ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[[NPC] Rordan Gamsey]

Jemnu

Either way...
without even knowing what they'll say,
it sucks to keep it to myself
and feel almost ashamed of being engaged?..
That's how it feels.
I want to be happy, not nervous.
I want to announce it to everyone.
I am so happy inside...that I said yes.
Because something clicked together....and it's HARD to explain that /feeling/ to people.

If it doesn't work?
Then it doesn't work. Period.
Both of us will be working very hard, from this day on,
being committed, working and getting paid, saving up, planning later on, visiting, etc.
I hope it will bring more good for us both, and make us a stronger tie.

It would be sad if it didn't work, sure.
But I hope it wouldn't magically allow people to say "I told you so!" and rub it in my face.
We're taking this seriously. At least, I know I will.
The fact that she proposed..bought me a ring, that shows me she's serious, obviously. She told her whole family..
And if it didn't work out for some unknown reason,
I'd like to be treated how any other ex-fiance would be treated.....which...I don't know how they are treated, BUT, you know what I mean.....
Blegh...

I'm thinking too much.

What's that in your hand, eh? A lump of snow? I'd suppose you'd have me believe it's a snow cone and that's just "Original Flavor."

[Jemnu]

Who the fck.......

Lmao.

---

I just don't want to be shunned and judged.

Hehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, why do I careeeeeee.

---

I'm addicted to this song.

[Gypsosaurus]

Ryan got me a necklace for Christmas.
It's the phylogenetic tree of life.
It's beautiful and perfect.

He really is good to me.

I wish I didn't feel so...hesitant.
Really, I think it's just my past coloring my present.

[Hellodies]

I just realized my psych/therapist appointment is tomorrow.
Hah, great what'll it be this time..?
"Have you been handling your intense mood swings like we've discussed?" "Have you been abusing your prescriptions and other medicines as of late..?" "Has there been any issues you've wanted to discuss?"
"We need to talk about your drinking..."

At least she doesn't ask how my relationship is... Deep down in my heart, I know it's a touchy subject to discuss. Everyday, there's this feeling that one day he's going to wake up and find a better person than me. I'm probably the most problematic type girlfriend he's ever had. I complain, jump on and off moods, and I still manage to cause him hurt... And I know I don't mean to, I don't want to be anymore of a knife just digging into his flesh slowly, but painfully...

I've been clean off of my "tendencies" to go back to self-mutilation for months now, but I always have the urge to fall back under it all.
My life is still unstable as ever even before the diagnostics...

I just... feel like a ******** failure. A complicated minded ******** failure...

[storm their shores]

i feel so looooow. i hate what i see when i look in the mirror. i am such an evil, ugly person, inside and out. i don't want to live with myself anymore.

[[NPC] Rordan Gamsey]

Gypsobellum

Ryan got me a necklace for Christmas.
It's the phylogenetic tree of life.
It's beautiful and perfect.

He really is good to me.

I wish I didn't feel so...hesitant.
Really, I think it's just my past coloring my present.

It's only a matter of time before we all have to resort to cannibalism. Not because of the snow, but because none of you can be bothered to cook a decent meal!DISGUSTING.

[Jemnu]

NPCs are on crack..

[Everyday Arson Man]

GUYS GUYS GUYS.

I UPLOADED A THIS.

[Decaying Harlot]

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welcome back. p:

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drink drink drink, more more more. Let's get drunk.
omg, I can't even be with someone like this.

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