Dirty Little Secrets [Announcement 11/8/2023]

Before I go, I've got to know:

Is that what you mean to say?	29.2%	[ 743 ]
Before I rise to my defense,	5.0%	[ 127 ]
Before I speak in hurt or fear,	5.6%	[ 142 ]
Before I build that wall of words,	4.3%	[ 110 ]
Tell me: did I really hear?	10.2%	[ 260 ]
Words are windows, or they're walls,	9.8%	[ 249 ]
They sentence us, or set us free.	6.1%	[ 156 ]
When I speak and when I hear,	2.9%	[ 75 ]
Let the love light shine through me.	26.8%	[ 681 ]
Total Votes:			[ 2543 ]

[Gypsosaurus]

I want to try it.
But I think it would jinx things bigtime.

[from my hands]

Gypsobellum

The iPod app for Gaia is pretty great.
I wish there was one for the iPad droid though.
A bigger real one.

[Astrid Ryhs]

Dear Guy B,

You came before A, long before A, but he concerns me the most. Wait, no, I take that back. You do too. I have deep emotions for you, and I know, to an extent, that over the course of our friendship you've gained them as well. Or maybe you haven't. I fear your affections. Yeah, me, big guy, fears your affections. I don't know what to expect from them, I know you as you, but I don't know you as a partner, someone I can depend on whenever I need you. Can I depend on you? Can I expect myself to open up to you and just blatantly allow vulnerability? I know I can offer my support, my strength to you whenever you need it, but... Well, I'm so unsure. You came to me, almost out of reluctance, asking me that second time if I was interested in dating. But you don't want that... but you do? I don't know. I'm as confused as you are. I would love to be with you, I really would I've always wanted that.

-Mixed Feelings

[Gypsosaurus]

I love that when I come, you can't help but follow suit.

[smile into the chaos]

you'recynicalandbeautiful
　　　　　　　you　　　　　always　　　　　　make　　　　　　a　　　　　　scene
you're monochrome delirious // you're nothing that you seem
　　　i'm drowning in your vanity | | your laugh is your disease
you'redirtyandyou'resweet
　　　　　　you　know　you're　e v e r y t h i n g　to　me



I should probably go clean the kitchen, since it's my night to do so.
I'll probably come back downstairs and just sleep.

[Epitaff]

I just cant like, look past it.

you said you loved me while you lay with them.
itll be two years before we can even hug.
and even then "not for the first while"
did they wait two years for you?
did they fight the way I have?
have they been through for you what i have?
would they have gone through that for you?
I dont care about it that much, just, the principal behind it stings a little.

I was your second choice. I was never good enough, yet you kept telling me otherwise.
and now this.
its one thing after another.

I really needed your company this morning, like, a lot. and your lack of pockets took that from me.
so I turned my phone off so I wouldnt get my hoped up every time it went off.
becuase I knew it wouldnt be you and looked forward to the promised date we had tonight.

to wake up and find youve made other plans.
it just ruined my night.
my mood.
I thought things might be okay. but this just
I dont know.

How can I trust you.
after everything.
i did, but today.. i just..
the more I think the more I realise how much of a fool ive been for having any hope at all.

for ever having thought things would be okay.

I want this. and I mean, I meant it when I said Im not ever going to stop caring.
but really? I never stop caring about anyone Ive ever cared for.
I remember every person, every name.

From James, my "big buddy" in elementary school. to Talis, the first girl I ever got close to.
to my first "legitimate" girlfriend, Keah. old and new friends, Lloyd, Laura, Mike, Aaron..
all of them..

but you... You hold a special place.
the things Ive put myself through for you, Id have walked out on others by now.

I dont know. this is long, and wordy.
my thoughts are jumbled.

Sometimes I just wish you would fight for me as hard as I have to get where we are right now. But what would you fight for? when theres nothing wrong.
right?

I guess the scars of the past are things that weigh heavily on how much I trust a person
on how much faith I put into them.

And there have been a lot of wounds between us.

I guess Ill figure things out eventually... But for now I just wish I had someone who understood how I felt.
what I was thinking.
maybe someone I could discuss my thoughts with. without being judged or thought poorly of.

To offer advice or opinions.

I dont know..
It doesn't matter.

[Dirty Dishwater]

I should probably get some sleep. A decent night's rest without the aid of alcohol. I really want to that bath though. emotion_8c

[hyruled]

oh god just really ******** up my hand. oh god it hurts. oh wow band aid.

[Hello_Mr_FaKeStaR]

Gypsobellum

I often wonder what your life is like now.
It hurts me that you've cut me out in this way...considering the feeling we share..it's just so difficult isnt, but i love you regardless, and will keep waiting here..which is sad, i guess in some peoples eyes..but you are worth anything to me..

[Hello_Mr_FaKeStaR]

Gypsobellum

I love that when I come, you can't help but follow suit.

[i l l u s t r i a n]

I'm very insecure, extremely weird,
and I have decided I'm desperate.
I always want that feeling of love.
I should stop. No more love. No
more boys. Nothing. I'm not allowing
myself to do this anymore. :l

[Hello_Mr_FaKeStaR]

my fingers are bleeding alot now, hahaah
but i cannot stop playing these two songs, i have to become perfect at it if its to be a gift..

but at the same time, i missed this feeling
that ache in my fingers, the sweat rolling into my eyes as i play music.

This is a reminder that, this is one of the greatest passions i can express in this body

that music is my heart and my soul, and its the way i express my feelings, understand my feelings, and share my heart with others.

[he who howls]

Starting 76~
Ha. uwu

[from my hands]

wtf netflix, stop being a b***h.

[from my hands]

Hello_Mr_FaKeStaR

my fingers are bleeding alot now, hahaah
but i cannot stop playing these two songs, i have to become perfect at it if its to be a gift..

but at the same time, i missed this feeling
that ache in my fingers, the sweat rolling into my eyes as i play music.

This is a reminder that, this is one of the greatest passions i can express in this body

that music is my heart and my soul, and its the way i express my feelings, understand my feelings, and share my heart with others.