Confusion about gays/lesbians choice of mates.

[Angry Blue Kang]

I realize that this stereotype is not always true, but in a lot of cases I have found that it is. Does anyone know why:

Lesbian women don't like men, but lesbian women are they attracted to manly women?

Homosexual men don't like women, but a lot of gay men are attracted to men who look like women?

[Desideraht]

Society makes "gender roles" comfortable. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you don't want to be part of a "nuclear family" like the one you grew up in.

Personally my BF and I are both all over the place. We're both definitely guys and "wear the pants" but we both have some pretty feminine traits too. We generally share responsibility/power in the relationship, though I am often more dominating. He is not "girly" though by any means.

We're also both bisexual and I'm transsexual so idek if we "count".

[Centuries Before]

Masculine women are still women, and feminine men are still men. You can like the behaviour patterns and not the genitals.

[Seraph of Thursday]

It's not, in fact, very often at all. It's just the stereotype, and some people fit to it. Most, however, do not.

[Immoral Mathematics]

Angry Blue Kang

I realize that this stereotype is not always true, but in a lot of cases I have found that it is. Does anyone know why:

Lesbian women don't like men, but lesbian women are they attracted to manly women?

Homosexual men don't like women, but a lot of gay men are attracted to men who look like women?

I've wondered this as well.

I've also wondered why, after saying they don't like males at all, invest in realistic dildos and strap on toys to replace the p***s.

But I guess there are things in life I'm better off not knowing.

[actual ghost]

The Whiskey Rebellion

Angry Blue Kang

I realize that this stereotype is not always true, but in a lot of cases I have found that it is. Does anyone know why:

Lesbian women don't like men, but lesbian women are they attracted to manly women?

Homosexual men don't like women, but a lot of gay men are attracted to men who look like women?

I've wondered this as well.

I've also wondered why, after saying they don't like males at all, invest in realistic dildos and strap on toys to replace the p***s.

But I guess there are things in life I'm better off not knowing.

it works the other way too. being gay can be about the genitals or it could not.
and it's not about "replacing the p***s" it's just that, big shocker here, some women get off from having things in their v****a!
and it's not uncommon for lesbian women to avoid overly phallic sex toys exactly because they don't like the d**k.

[Faux-Nom]

Angry Blue Kang

Homosexual men don't like women, but a lot of gay men are attracted to men who look like women?

Can't speak for the lesbians, but my experience with homosexual males has been quite the opposite, with "masc only" or "must be st8-acting" two of the most common traits demanded by gay men in their prospective mates.

[Bienaimee R]

Angry Blue Kang

I realize that this stereotype is not always true, but in a lot of cases I have found that it is. Does anyone know why:

Lesbian women don't like men, but lesbian women are they attracted to manly women?

Homosexual men don't like women, but a lot of gay men are attracted to men who look like women?

I think people of any orientation can experience attraction for particular traits and characteristics traditionally considered "masculine" and "feminine."

It's important to keep in mind that social norms and cultural perceptions define these qualities and that behaviors and looks one culture perceives as "masculine" may be "feminine" by another culture's standards. These definitions can even vary within a single culture.

If a straight woman finds an androgynous male or effeminate male attractive, does that mean she's a closeted lesbian?

[shas1994alsaria]

I like both razz wahmbulance

[Immoral Mathematics]

8DStance

The Whiskey Rebellion

Angry Blue Kang

I realize that this stereotype is not always true, but in a lot of cases I have found that it is. Does anyone know why:

Lesbian women don't like men, but lesbian women are they attracted to manly women?

Homosexual men don't like women, but a lot of gay men are attracted to men who look like women?

I've wondered this as well.

I've also wondered why, after saying they don't like males at all, invest in realistic dildos and strap on toys to replace the p***s.

But I guess there are things in life I'm better off not knowing.

it works the other way too. being gay can be about the genitals or it could not.
and it's not about "replacing the p***s" it's just that, big shocker here, some women get off from having things in their v****a!
and it's not uncommon for lesbian women to avoid overly phallic sex toys exactly because they don't like the d**k.

It was s joke post to go with the joke OP

[X sansmerci]

OP, you're letting your perceptions of gender roles bleed into thinking about queer folks.

A woman in a flannel shirt is still a woman, there is nothing in particular about flannel shirts that is for men only, you just associate them with what's acceptable as male presentation. Same with men who have traits that are considered feminine. There's nothing about caring for one's appearance, for example, that's particular to woman-ness; historically (wealthy, privileged) men have had much more freedom to decorate themselves.

Not to mention that, while there is nothing wrong with acting or dressing in a way that doesn't 100% dovetail into gender roles, it's neither exclusive to homosexual folks nor does the varient you're talking about account for the vast majority of the community. You just notice those gay people more because you're already paying attention to how they act/dress. If you see a woman who is dressed androgynously with her boyfriend, you don't make note of it because it doesn't fit, and so your mind stores away the perception that less traditionally feminine presentation is a lesbian thing.

[Faux Fashions]

X sansmerci

OP, you're letting your perceptions of gender roles bleed into thinking about queer folks.

A woman in a flannel shirt is still a woman, there is nothing in particular about flannel shirts that is for men only, you just associate them with what's acceptable as male presentation. Same with men who have traits that are considered feminine. There's nothing about caring for one's appearance, for example, that's particular to woman-ness; historically (wealthy, privileged) men have had much more freedom to decorate themselves.

Not to mention that, while there is nothing wrong with acting or dressing in a way that doesn't 100% dovetail into gender roles, it's neither exclusive to homosexual folks nor does the varient you're talking about account for the vast majority of the community. You just notice those gay people more because you're already paying attention to how they act/dress. If you see a woman who is dressed androgynously with her boyfriend, you don't make note of it because it doesn't fit, and so your mind stores away the perception that less traditionally feminine presentation is a lesbian thing.

You pretty much just summed up everything I was going to say lol. Nicely said.

[Bienaimee R]

X sansmerci

OP, you're letting your perceptions of gender roles bleed into thinking about queer folks.

A woman in a flannel shirt is still a woman, there is nothing in particular about flannel shirts that is for men only, you just associate them with what's acceptable as male presentation. Same with men who have traits that are considered feminine. There's nothing about caring for one's appearance, for example, that's particular to woman-ness; historically (wealthy, privileged) men have had much more freedom to decorate themselves.

Not to mention that, while there is nothing wrong with acting or dressing in a way that doesn't 100% dovetail into gender roles, it's neither exclusive to homosexual folks nor does the varient you're talking about account for the vast majority of the community. You just notice those gay people more because you're already paying attention to how they act/dress. If you see a woman who is dressed androgynously with her boyfriend, you don't make note of it because it doesn't fit, and so your mind stores away the perception that less traditionally feminine presentation is a lesbian thing.

Your comment reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend about how certain style/fashion elements "prove" a person is lesbian.

He told me a lesbian is easily recognizable because she wears flannel. I went to my closet and fished out a white flannel, Victorian styled nightgown smothered in ruffles, lace overlay, and satin ribbons. He quickly clarified, "No that's not what I meant. I mean plaid, workman styled shirts." So I dug a bit further and pulled out two long-sleeved, button down pink and lavender plaid shirts I use as jackets in the cooler months. THEN he said, "No, those are all pink and girly. It's REALLY blah-blah-blah...."

The thing I find harmful about all this "sexuality stereotyping" is that it leads to confusion and misunderstanding. I'd hate to imagine a gentleman I liked giving up on me because something in my appearance or my behavior struck him as "lesbian" according to stereotype.

I wonder if the LGBT community stereotypes straight people. I need to ask some of my LGBT friends about that.

[Hobotastique]

Pretty sure it's all about what's in their pants

[Bilbo Laggins]

The only homosexual couple I have any experience with is my husband's aunt and her wife.
And they function just like any other couple. Penny does a lot of construction type things, but that's what she enjoys. While Angie does the cooking because she enjoys it. Yet if anyone were to look at them, they would take Angie as "the man" because she's taller, is a bit broader and has short hair while Penny is slim and has long hair, but both are beautiful women who dress up nice and wear make-up and earrings and do their hair.

Honestly, I feel like gender roles are kind of going away though. I work more than my husband, so he does most of the cooking.
Lolwut? A man? Cooking? Unheard of in the 50s!