CLOSED

[RioIu]

[DemonHunterDante92]

okay one more joke

A man decides to become a farmer and the first thing he does is he buys a donkey.Since hes a farmer now he has to call it an a**. Next he decides he wants chickens so he buys a rooster and a hen a.k.a c**k and pullet so he's on his way home when his donkey sits down when it does that he has to scratch it's ears. A old lady drives by and asks if she can help so the farmer says"can you hold my c**k and pullet i have to scratch my a**

[DemonHunterDante92]

Jesus Is Muffins

DarkKnightDante92

two gays and 2 lesbians are in prison. It's Lunch time. who get's there 1st the gays or lesbians.


A: The lesbians cuz they got there lickety split and the gays were just a**-dickin around

I heard a joke sort of like that except it was two gay guys were at a picnic. Who left first, the giver or reciever?


The reciever because he s**t's already packed.

Lolz that ones better than mine

[Espikeyrey]

Friendship is like peeing on yourself, everyone can see it, but only you feel the warmness it brings...


We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
- Robin Williams

Today, I was at the beach walking on the boardwalk without a shirt on. Two cute girls are walking my way and I decide to try and impress them by flexing my abs. While I flexed them, I accidentally let a fart out that everyone heard. Everybody, including the girls, laughed hysterically at me. FML

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose? " Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

Today, I tasted the rainbow. By that, I mean a homeless man hit me in the face with a bag of Skittles for not giving him money. FML


Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML


Today, a 7 year old girl randomly came up to me and told me to f*ck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to f*ck myself as well. FML


Today, my parents said that they bought me a car. I had been begging for one for a year and they always said that I would have to pay for it myself. I got really excited and went to the garage to see my new ride. It was a Hot Wheels car with a note saying "save your money". FML

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird s**t on me through my sunroof. FML


Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had payed the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML


Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML

Fmylife.com


Hey btw, do you want to know how to keep an idiot waiting? I'll tell you later...

[Lost Lunar Moon]

Here is a few. I'm not really good at these.
Alice: hey jasmine!
Jasmine: hey alice! hey read my shirt! Its funny!
Alice: ok! -reading- I know how to keep an idiot busy, look at the back of shirt. -goes to jasmine's back- I know how to keep an idiot busy, look at the front of the shirt. -goes to the front of the shirt- I know how to keep an idiot busy, look at the back of shirt...
-four hours later-
Alice: I just dont get it... sad

Yo Momma's armpits are so hairy, she looks like she got Don King in a headlock!

Yo' momma's teeth so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter!

Yo momma is so fat that her driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side"

Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

Yo momma so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!

[DemonHunterDante92]

yo momma so hairy da only language she speaks is WOOKIE

yo momma so ghetto when she brest feeds kool-aid comes out

yo momma so fat her pants size is b***h LOSE SOME WEIGHT!!!!!

yo momma so fat when yo daddy goes to have sex w/ her he has to throw flour on her and look for the wet spot

yo momma so stupid she had you

[DemonHunterDante92]

ablonde is down on her luck in dept and out of a job.She desides to kidnap a kid so she goes to the park and grabs a kid. she writes a note to the parent saying im a desperate blonde and have kidnapped your kid if you want him back bring 10,000 dollars to the big oak tree at the park and leave it there. She pins the note to the kid and sends him home. the next daysure enough there was $10,000 and a note saying how could you do this to a fellow blonde

[Eithyy]

35k/27ok - Top Donor: Pyreon-Sam
I'll draw art for anyone who donates 1ok+ (example: [x])
Reach for the Skies :: Eithyy's Quest Palace
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Knock knock.

Who's there?

You know.

You know who?

AVADA KEDAVRA!



Epic win.
cool

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Need some help on a quest? Head on over to Zee's Magical Shoe Emporium charity!

[DemonHunterDante92]

ablonde is down on her luck in dept and out of a job.She desides to kidnap a kid so she goes to the park and grabs a kid. she writes a note to the parent saying im a desperate blonde and have kidnapped your kid if you want him back bring 10,000 dollars to the big oak tree at the park and leave it there. She pins the note to the kid and sends him home. the next daysure enough there was $10,000 and a note saying how could you do this to a fellow blonde

[Eithyy]

35k/27ok - Top Donor: Pyreon-Sam
I'll draw art for anyone who donates 1ok+ (example: [x])
Reach for the Skies :: Eithyy's Quest Palace
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It's over 9000!
Ohmygodyeah.
cool

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Need some help on a quest? Head on over to Zee's Magical Shoe Emporium charity!

[XbuffyxoverxbellaX]

Once a man was giving a tour of his apartment to his friends, when one of is friends noticed a huge gong in the living room. He asked "why do you have a gong in your living room?", and the man answered "it's not a gong, it's a talking clock!". The friends laughed and didn't believe him, when momentarily the man said "here, I'll show you!". The man banged the gong really loudly and 2 seconds later a voice from the next apartment yelled "SHUT THE HELL UP!!! IT'S F***ING 2 IN THE MORNING!!!!"

[chubbimonkehs]

blonde joke!

So a blonde was driving in a car on the freeway. Then suddenly, she starts twisting around the road like she was drunk. A cop came up and said, "What the heck are you doing?"
And she said, "There was a tree in front of me."
The tree was a scented air freshener.

[iFyrus]

alexandria will give away 11 k!

well, that's the funniest i can think of now...

[chubbimonkehs]

Eithyy

35k/27ok - Top Donor: Pyreon-Sam
I'll draw art for anyone who donates 1ok+ (example: [x])
Reach for the Skies :: Eithyy's Quest Palace
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It's over 9000!
Ohmygodyeah.
cool


OMG I REMEMBER YOU!
I REMEMBER YOU FROM ANOTHER POST!!
oh haii~

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Need some help on a quest? Head on over to Zee's Magical Shoe Emporium charity!

[chubbimonkehs]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-ukLtSKU5I

and


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goix7jFXD9Q

i just love these ones!