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Katara daughter of Water Tanyeera Katara daughter of Water Tanyeera Katara daughter of Water Tanyeera
I don't often make my characters into couples honestly. But if I did... Yes. Mutual a**-kickery would be a wonderful thing. Or... wait a sec, I just realised I usually have mutual a**-kickery just for sibling battles. For couples... hmm... thinking thinking thinking... Ok, one time I hooked two characters together, but one was the former teacher of the other like years and years ago, so the younger character tended to listen to her advice when she had any to give. They really had more of a big-sister-little-sister relationship for the longest time until the student went evil and kinda sorta played a part in breaking the mind of the former teacher. At that point, when the teacher became evil as well, then they started getting together and the student took the lead for most things but had to reign in her former teacher in others.
It was kinda like having this large, insanely powerful and fairly independent rabid hound that generally did its own thing but would listen to you and only you most of the time because it happened to really, really like you. And some of the time when you took it out on walks, it would drag you flying into some interesting thing or other. But that was ok because Raven (the former student) would participate quite happily with the turned-evil Tanyeera (I took her name, she didn't take mine) once Tanyeera showed her how. Ditto for Tanyeera when Raven wanted to show her something. It was a perfectly lovely and idyll relationship that just happened to take place in Hell and involve a good deal of torture, slaughter, and mutilation of the souls therein. (All in good fun of course)
And... call me prejudiced, but somehow, the idea of a purebred appeals to me more than any kind of hybrid or cross-strained. No matter how interesting or powerful that cross-breeding might be. If there are feuding families... Sorry, but most of my characters hold to the creed of "blood is thicker than water". They might make friends with rival families, but when it comes down to the crunch... full out war of your family against mine... they'll try not to hurt their friend, or those close to their friend of course, but they feel compelled to follow their families. They'll reason, plead, and beg with their families, and they may even refuse to do the family's bidding, but they can't really turn their back on family. And forget about eloping.
Generally, first loyalty is to blood and kin, next is to house or clan, and only then is it to self.
For me... alright, I'm unusually obedient and respectful compared to my peers, but for most of us, it would be... considered in extremely bad taste to be talking back to your grandparents. Especially your grandparents whom you do not see too often or know very well. And anyway, most of the time, no matter what kind of trouble your grandparents might have with your parents, it tends not to really transfer to the kid because kids, especially sons, carry on the family name. Basics of getting liked and pampered by your grandparents is to just be polite and do very well in your studies. That's it. At that point, they tend to love you.
Criticism comes mostly in the form of 'why aren't you doing better at school' and sometimes 'why aren't you more ladylike'. But overall, they tend to love you no matter what kind of bad feeling might be had with your parents because even if you're your parent's kid, you're also their grandkid. Being the eldest... or at least second eldest, of your cousins also helps. I'm not sure why it does, but it does. If you're eldest among the cousins, you tend to get extra liking. Also, if you're the only grandkid, you also get special favour. I enjoyed that status for quite a while until my baby boy cousin was born. And even then, because I have such a headstart on my cousin, my grandma's attention might be a bit more divided now, but she's still very concerned over me and everything. And... I see my dad's side of the family at least once every year during Chinese New Year and Reunion Dinner, and my mom's side of the family for that grandma's birthday, and occasionally some other events. Generally, its just hard to remain separated from family.
But back to the point, scolding your elders, be they your parents, your grandparents, your aunts, uncles, or teachers, is considered very rude. Very very rude. No matter the provocation. If you're heavily provoked, its ok for you to protest and disagree with the person, but very very bad taste to scold the person him/herself. Also... what exactly do you mean by conflicting desires? In general, I guess that where interests collide, parents tend to have the final say here. I could have a show I'd really like to watch at a certain time on tv, but if my dad has some other show he wants to watch, and is unwilling to forgo it, right of the television belongs to him.
I am not saying that it is not considered rude to scold your elders here cause it is. I am saying though that it is not completely unheard of for Americans to just stop talking to certain family members or move away to not have to deal with relatives. Conflicts between family members do have a way of spreading. If your parents aren't getting along with their parents they ain't going to be having them over at the house. As for conflicting desires, I meant like doing what is good for the family verses what you personally want to do. It is a sad commentary on American youth that we do have a way of getting what we want when it comes to things like television rights because we know how to be obnoxious whiners.
Complete family estrangement isn't entirely heard of here either. But... I think if I had a grandma like your grandma, I'd still unfortunately have to leave my folks to fight their own battles. I can sympathise with my parents and lend them a listening ear and such, but when the grandma is actually there, then I'd have to do what my grandma said unless my parents said otherwise. And then it would be an issue between my grandparents and my parents and I am decidedly unwelcome in that kind of a fight.
And, again what do you mean, 'good for the family'? Like if my folks got a new job somewhere else or something or decided we needed to move? Well... that's pretty much their decision. If they ask for my input, I can give it, or if I feel strongly enough about it, I can contribute input without being asked, but ultimately, its their decision. It's their house after all. I think some of my friends can get away with obnoxious whining as well, but I know that if I tried it, I'd just get scolded and yelled at. I can plead that this is a really, really cool show and I'd *really* like to watch it, but that's about all. If I started making a nuisance of myself after that, I'd just get yelled at. Not to mention the fact that I'd feel like a prime silly idiot making myself act like that much of a spoiled brat.
I guess I mean like if my mom needed money I would give it to her. I stopped talking to my father for the good of my relationship with my mom and my stepfather. I admit that I am spoiled in many ways and get away with a lot more than I should. I will argue with my parents and yes, yelling will ensue from both sides.
I think I have been programmed to back down instantly when yelling begins. Particularly if the one yelling is someone in authority. But even with my friends, I tend to try and calm things down, even if it means adopting a more conciliatory tone, when people start yelling. Yelling is indicative someone feels strongly about something. Even if I feel as strongly against the subject as they do for, we're not going to get anywhere if even one of us isn't calm enough to discuss things rationally. Not to mention the fact that I hate people being that mad at me and if I was at all aggressive about the subject before, yelling is almost certain to make me withdraw and turn into a rock instead. I won't give way on certain issues, but yelling is liable to make me reconsider my own tone and I'll reflexively start trying to seek out what we can agree on and admit to it so that the other person will feel like they're getting somewhere and calm down. And there will be no argument at all if the person I'm disagreeing with is my parent or teacher. If I feel its unfair, I may ask to talk to the person afterwards to try and explain my own point of view, but that's about it. I instinctively shy away from actively arguing with people in authority. That's not to say I obey them all the time... but when I do disobey, I do it covertly. I'm just really, really bad at outward defiance.
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