Welcome to Gaia! ::


this was taken from
this page
and
this page (the male response)

Which ones do you think are true about you?
Number 77 is my favorite!

Feel free to comment and whatever.



102 Things Guys need to know about Girls:

1. Do not cheat on a girl. We girls talk, we WILL know, and we WILL find out, and we WILL dump you!

2. Be aware of all your girlfriends’ guy friends, brothers, fathers, or anything. They are protective. Every single male friend we have will kick your a** if you end up hurting her.

3. Never ever miss an opportunity to tell her that she’s beautiful. We girls love that.

4. If she slapped you hard, you probably deserved it.

5. Do not be afraid of holding her. If she’s going out with you in the first place, it’s obvious that she likes you and wants to be in your arms.

6. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend -- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts or hoodie’s, and a really pretty piece of jewelry.

7. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely. We think that’s really cute and sweet.

8. If a guy is bothering your girlfriend, it is your right to beat the sh!t out of him.

9. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer. It’ll make her feel secure that you love her more than the other girl.

10. Never ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.

11. Go along with her to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went with her.

12. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend. Or else.

13. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle. Let her win once in a while.

14. Memorize your girlfriend’s birthday. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life. Not gonna lie.

15. Don't drench yourself in the cologne, but smell good.

16. You don’t have to spend a million dollars on the Birthday/Christmas/Valentine gift. It doesn't have to be expensive, or cost anything but it has to be meaningful.

17. Don’t ever lie to us; we always find out.

18. Don’t say you understand when you don’t. That’s bad.

19. Remember: Girls are pretty, but yours is the Prettiest!

20. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; but doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.

21. Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want relationships.

22. No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe. Don’t bother trying to convince us otherwise, that is a bad idea

23. It’s good to be sensitive, to a point.

24. If you did something wrong, apologize. Even if you didn’t, do it anyway.

25. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

26. We are self-conscious by nature; we can’t help it. Let it be.

27. We don’t shave our legs every day so just get over it.

28. Shave your face, no matter how cool you think your goatee or beard or mustache looks, we probably hate it. We like you clean shaven.

29. Show off a little, we think it’s cute.

30. You are our boyfriend, our man, our protector, whether you know it or not, you are; act like it.

31. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).

32. We love it when you hug us from behind and whisper in our ear.

33. "Fine" is NEVER an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

34. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you. Don’t obsess over that.

35. I expect you to call me. If you don’t, you go down.

36. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be. Don’t you dare take advantage of that.

37. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

38. You look hot in hooded clothing items. Always.

39. You should never tell a girl what to do. Ever.

40. Any decent man will ask a girl out to her face. I mean; if you aren’t man enough to ask us out to our face, who says youre gonna be man enough to our boyfriend at all.

41. Girls are very impressed when you ask them for advice. Unless its about another girl.

42. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

43. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

44. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

45. Girls need to hear how you feel about them. Often. Tell her now.

46. A girl wants to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this and tell her.

47. If she’s not feeling loved, she will start looking....

48. We like it when you tell us what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself. It’s cute.

49. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

50. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

51. We can fall in love with you without really knowing you, if you are an @ss, we will find out, and we will get over it. Fast. Don't ruin it.

52. You like her, make a move. Don’t just sit there, you will fail, and you won’t get her.

53. Baseball players are hot. The sport makes you skinny and your arm muscles… well, it’s hot. We’ll go to all your games even if we hate baseball.

54. When you compliment us, we aren't sure how to accept the compliment without leading you on or reject the compliment without hurting you. So just bear with us here.

55. WE HATE BEING LED ON! If you think it's bad being led on by a girl, try being led on by a guy.

56. We like it when guys are willing to have an actual relationship, not just a one-night stand. Most girls don't like pimps or players, just guys who like ONE girl only.

57. But don't be obssessive. Major turn-off.

58. Call sometimes, just to say hi, not for a certain reason. When we see your number on caller ID, our heart always skips a beat. Try calling just to say good night, or good morning, its soo adorable!

59. BE HONEST!

60. Don't ONLY tell us what we want to hear. We HATE that.

61. At sleepovers, if you wonder what we talk about, quit worrying. It really is only you.

62. If you catch us staring, it is most likely because we're spacing out, not because we really stare at you. Unless we smile when you notice. Then you either look really hot, or we like you.

63. We like it when you hold us when we're crying. It's good to feel loved and safe.

64. Don't go to our friends to talk about us. Come straight to us.

65. Don't tell us you love us unless you are positive you mean it. If we don't say it back, it's just that we really want to mean it when we say it. Don't say it right away, then it shows lack of commitment.

66. We like our hands to be held and our waists to be touched.

67. We like you to kiss our hand and cheeks and forehead (esp. forehead!!), not just shove your tongue down our throats. We do like to breathe.

68. We like it when you're tender, but don't lose your masculinity.

69. Do chivalrous things when we least expect it (ex. holding doors for us).

70. As surprising as it may be, while guys might actually look at personality, the first thing girls look at tends to be looks. We're not going to see you and think, 'I wonder what his personality is like!' Terrible, but true.

71. If we love you, and youre hurt on the basketball court, rolling on the floor in pain; we’re hurting more just watching you.

72. We LOVE it when you get nervous around us. It's adorable! Don't think you have to be Mr. Cool Guy all the time.

73. Don't play hard to get. We’ll get bored and move on.

74. If you don't call us, then we will spend hours thinking about why you never called, and we will waste a lot of time thinking about it, eventually coming to the conclusion that we don't like you anymore.

75. We lost interest quickly if you lead us on but never take action.

76. We might seem to flirt a lot, but a girl always thinks about the one guy she really likes right before she falls asleep.

77. When a girl likes a guy, she subconsciously gives him a song that makes her think of him every time she hears it.

78. If guys do the same as girls do in #77, tell her what song reminds you of her.

79. Randomly compliment girls in conversations. If you're talking about sports, be like "Oh, by the way, that shirt really made your eyes look green today." It totally throws us off, and we love it.

80. Ask us about how we're doing once in a while, and at least pretend to be interested.

81. If we're not talking to you, we secretly want you to talk to us first.

82. Play with our hair without being like a gay hairstylist.

83. We get really happy when you show any sign of interest. Don't just do it and then never do it again. Bad bad bad…

84. Keep up the conversation on IM and phones and in person! Don't be awkward. That’s bad.

85. We will always feel bad if we don't like you back. Not all girls are b!tches, no matter what you may think. We hate to reject you.

86. ok, so some girls are b!tches and they like rejecting boys, but the people who wrote this group are not. better?

87. If we say "Let's just be friends", we really mean it. Don't keep trying to pursue us, and don't say ok and then ignore us. That's just mean and horrible.

88. It's adorable when a best guy friend who a girl has thought about liking confesses he likes her.

89. If you’re single, find the one girl who’s always there on the sidelines at your football game, or at each of your concerts, all your baseball games. She loves you. Her excuse may be that she’s there for her brother, but she’s really there for you.

90. After you find that girl, smile at her once in a while, it’ll mean the world to her.

91. Get to know her, you’ll make her year first of all, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll end up liking her.

92. Not all blondes are b!tches. Some are cool.

93. Not all blondes are sluts. Some have morals.

94. In your mind, give every girl a chance. Each one deserves at least one.

95. Girls fantasize too, its just not always about sex.

96. We girls give you guys code names so that you don’t know that we’re talking about you. :]

97. If you’re jealous, it may suck for you, but we think it’s attractive if you really care that much.

98. If a girl blushes when you talk to her, she either likes you or she's embarrassed by what you're saying.

99. Girls don’t really write your name on a piece of paper a million times if they like you, that’s a myth…… sometimes

100. If a girl really likes you, just seeing you will make her day.

101. Even if you aren’t all that cute, and we like you, we think you’re hot. Don’t take advantage of that, take pride in that.

102. Every time you smile at us, it may mean only a little to you, but it means the world to us. Don't take the little things for granted.
Wow, this topic is exactly why I get threatened by the concept of dating.

Why can't women just skip the formalities and get to the real loving?

Why does the media have to constantly pump meaningless propaganda that distracts our attention from what a genuine relationship is?

Hm, I dunno. I guess I'm just a man born into the wrong time period.
I only got through to lik...46...then I stopped.

But I agree with almost all of them.

8D I'm sure 47-102 are just as good!
Oh, lovely. A mass generalization of the entire female sex.
The Lady Eros
Oh, lovely. A mass generalization of the entire female sex.

From the point of view of a teenage girl who watches too many rom coms.
Jayneen
The Lady Eros
Oh, lovely. A mass generalization of the entire female sex.

From the point of view of a teenage girl who watches too many rom coms.

yes

Invisible Elder

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Don't pretend to speak for me. I'm capable of telling a potential partner what I like, don't like, what I want, and what I don't all on my own, kthx.

s**t, I might just edit this with a complete breakdown of that list in a bit. How bored am I...?

EDIT: Apparently very.

1. Do not cheat on a girl. We girls talk, we WILL know, and we WILL find out, and we WILL dump you!

Well, yeah, it's a bad idea to cheat on someone. But a lot of girls never find out. And even the ones that do won't always end the relationship.

2. Be aware of all your girlfriends’ guy friends, brothers, fathers, or anything. They are protective. Every single male friend we have will kick your a** if you end up hurting her.

Not every guy - and certainly no guy in my life is a macho patriarchal douchebag. Yeah, if I get hurt, my friends will be none too keen on the person who did it, but my girl friends are more likely to say anything about it than my guy friends. And no one's going to "kick your a**". How ******** juvenile is that. In adult-world, there's such a thing as assault charges.

3. Never ever miss an opportunity to tell her that she’s beautiful. We girls love that.

No thanks. I know I'm beautiful and I don't need reassurance or validation from a man. Compliment because you want to, not because you're trying to woo me with it. Flattery won't get you far with me, but a sincere and thoughtful kind word is nice to hear. Some generic comment about my aesthetics is trite and superficial.

4. If she slapped you hard, you probably deserved it.

Or maybe she's an abusive b***h. Men can be abused too.

5. Do not be afraid of holding her. If she’s going out with you in the first place, it’s obvious that she likes you and wants to be in your arms.

Or maybe I want some personal space. Just because I'm with someone doesn't mean I lose all want for autonomy.

6. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend -- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts or hoodie’s, and a really pretty piece of jewelry.

Or instead of generic useless things, how about something special that appeals to my tastes, like a good muffin tin, because I love to bake, or that book I've been talking about, or maybe tickets for a hockey game because we both love watching it.

7. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely. We think that’s really cute and sweet.

I think it's sexist and condescending. I'm a big girl, and I come packing weapons. I'll handle my own, thanks.

8. If a guy is bothering your girlfriend, it is your right to beat the sh!t out of him.

Yes, because going to jail is SO romantic. Unnecessary violence just to prove how macho you are is ******** lame and unattractive.

9. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer. It’ll make her feel secure that you love her more than the other girl.

Or how about you not assume I'm a jealous psycho and just talk to your damn friend?

10. Never ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.

Yes, please insult my intelligence but no sudden movements! If I playfully smack you, smack me back. I won't break.

11. Go along with her to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went with her.

Actually, I give a damn if my partner is having a good time. If I want to see a movie that my partner doesn't, I'll go see it with someone who does. Why should he be stuck miserable for an hour and a half when we could both enjoy some other film?

12. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend. Or else.

Or else what? lol If they're his friends, they know who I am. Unless he's making a point to hide the relationship, I don't care.

13. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle. Let her win once in a while.

[******** this comment. My v****a does not create a black hole where my muscles go to die.

14. Memorize your girlfriend’s birthday. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life. Not gonna lie.

Hell, I'm lucky if I remember my birthday.

15. Don't drench yourself in the cologne, but smell good.

Wisdom of the ages, kids, DON'T STINK. Because that's not obvious at all.

16. You don’t have to spend a million dollars on the Birthday/Christmas/Valentine gift. It doesn't have to be expensive, or cost anything but it has to be meaningful.

Or it could be silly. Or practical. Or how about instead buying into consumerism, he just spend time with me?

17. Don’t ever lie to us; we always find out.

My v****a gives me psychic powers?

18. Don’t say you understand when you don’t. That’s bad.

So...don't lie? Rocket science, here.

19. Remember: Girls are pretty, but yours is the Prettiest!

That "compliment" always comes out sounding fake. It's okay to acknowledge that other women are prettier. It's me you're with. I'm not insecure.

20. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; but doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.

For what? "Oh darling, it's okay that I walked in on you giving my dad a rim job yesterday, because this dinner you've made tonight is my favourite! Aaaaaw!

21. Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want relationships.

Excuse me? Size matters to girls who want relationships too, kthx. Pardon me for not wanting to be stuck banging Mister Pencil d**k for the rest of my life. Maybe you're content faking it till you die, but I'm not.

22. No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe. Don’t bother trying to convince us otherwise, that is a bad idea

Some of the people I've been with have had lovely ex girlfriends. I even became friends with a few of them. Grow up.

23. It’s good to be sensitive, to a point.

Yes, being human and not a robot or a psycho is great. Good way to narrow down the populace.

24. If you did something wrong, apologize. Even if you didn’t, do it anyway.

No. No partner should feel beaten into submission.

25. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

Or, I am, because I'm not a fake, lying, crazy, game-playing b***h.

26. We are self-conscious by nature; we can’t help it. Let it be.

By nature? What? This is bullshit. I'm not self-conscious. Many girls aren't.

27. We don’t shave our legs every day so just get over it.

Some girls do. Get over it.

28. Shave your face, no matter how cool you think your goatee or beard or mustache looks, we probably hate it. We like you clean shaven.

I prefer my men with facial hair.

29. Show off a little, we think it’s cute.

Yes, often when with my friends I look over at a guy and say, "Aaaaaw, isn't he just the snuggliest cocky little douchebag you've ever seen? 4laugh "

30. You are our boyfriend, our man, our protector, whether you know it or not, you are; act like it.

[******** that. You are my partner, my equal, my friend.

31. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).

Those are not flattering on everyone.

32. We love it when you hug us from behind and whisper in our ear.

Not every girl likes this. Some girls really, really, REALLY hate it, actually.

33. "Fine" is NEVER an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

It is if you mean it.

34. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you. Don’t obsess over that.

I rarely fantasize about the person I'm with. Sorry.

35. I expect you to call me. If you don’t, you go down.

Go down where...? I'll probably just figure you have something called a LIFE, and got busy. Not a big deal.

36. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be. Don’t you dare take advantage of that.

I'm no more forgiving than I want to be.

37. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

LMFAO Do people actually do this?? Seriously though, if I'm doing it, it's probably going to be funny if you tease me too. I'm cool with it.

38. You look hot in hooded clothing items. Always.

Or maybe only sometimes. Or maybe never. GENERIC STATEMENTS ARE LAME.

39. You should never tell a girl what to do. Ever.

"Sorry about the fractured spine, love...yeah, I suppose I could've warned you about that bus barreling towards you when you crossing the street, but I was afraid that if I told you to 'look out', you'd get mad..."

Also, irony much? Don't tell me what to do...on a list of things you have to do... lolololll


40. Any decent man will ask a girl out to her face. I mean; if you aren’t man enough to ask us out to our face, who says you're gonna be man enough to our boyfriend at all.

Man enough? Grow a pair yourself, hon, and ask the guy you like.

41. Girls are very impressed when you ask them for advice. Unless its about another girl.

Some girls hate that. A lot, actually. They're not around to be your personal "Dear Abby".

42. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

Gender roles...AGAIN.

43. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

Or how about just the one you like? Not everything is a fashion show.

44. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

Dude that last one is a little ***** for me. But I don't think doing those things are innately hot.

45. Girls need to hear how you feel about them. Often. Tell her now.

I don't want to drone on about feelings all the time. Can't we just enjoy each other's company?

46. A girl wants to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this and tell her.

Cliches get me wet, fer shurrr.

47. If she’s not feeling loved, she will start looking...

No, I'll start talking. I try and communicate with my partner.

48. We like it when you tell us what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself. It’s cute.

WTH? "I'm thinking of how gassy I am right now lolololll" "THATS SO CUTE LET ME BLOW YOU NOW"

49. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

It's not necessarily cheating, just being secretive. I agree it's a time to reexamine what you're doing, and what you want out of the relationship, but I wouldn't instantly call it cheating.

50. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

Not every girl would agree.

51. We can fall in love with you without really knowing you, if you are an a**, we will find out, and we will get over it. Fast. Don't ruin it.

Some girls take a long time to get to know someone before falling in love...and take even longer to get over it.

52. You like her, make a move. Don’t just sit there, you will fail, and you won’t get her.

Girls can make moves too. Revolutionary, I know.

53. Baseball players are hot. The sport makes you skinny and your arm muscles… well, it’s hot. We’ll go to all your games even if we hate baseball.

I've never been attracted to baseball players. I don't enjoy going to the games.

54. When you compliment us, we aren't sure how to accept the compliment without leading you on or reject the compliment without hurting you. So just bear with us here.

Um, I just say thanks. What's so complicated?

55. WE HATE BEING LED ON! If you think it's bad being led on by a girl, try being led on by a guy.

It's the SAME DAMNED THING.

56. We like it when guys are willing to have an actual relationship, not just a one-night stand. Most girls don't like pimps or players, just guys who like ONE girl only.

Wanting your partner to be wanting the same thing you are is important, yes, but that goes both ways.

57. But don't be obsessive. Major turn-off.

There are girls out there into that. I'd guess most aren't though.

58. Call sometimes, just to say hi, not for a certain reason. When we see your number on caller ID, our heart always skips a beat. Try calling just to say good night, or good morning, its soo adorable!

Holmes, I got s**t to do. Unless you got something to say, don't ring me.

59. BE HONEST!

DURR.

60. Don't ONLY tell us what we want to hear. We HATE that.

Hasn't half this list been like, "omg only tell me this even if you are thinking something else"?

61. At sleepovers, if you wonder what we talk about, quit worrying. It really is only you.

Actually, I've broached a number of subjects at sleepovers, from physics, to religion, to politics, to sex (with various people). Not everything is LOLBOYS.

62. If you catch us staring, it is most likely because we're spacing out, not because we really stare at you. Unless we smile when you notice. Then you either look really hot, or we like you.

Or maybe I just like the shirt you've got or the band you were talking about.

63. We like it when you hold us when we're crying. It's good to feel loved and safe.

It pisses me off. Let me cry unless I ask for physical comfort.

64. Don't go to our friends to talk about us. Come straight to us.

Because clearly girls who say one thing and mean another are the go-to source for truth.


...okay, you know what, I give up. The list is s**t, inaccurate, and a surefire way to assure an immature, short-lived relationshit.

Have fun.
Jayneen
The Lady Eros
Oh, lovely. A mass generalization of the entire female sex.

From the point of view of a teenage girl who watches too many rom coms.

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    Oh god I hate these things.
    They're so stupid. Everyone is different; you can't go generalizing girls like that.
    Most of the things you listed that are said to be "sweet" I think are disgusting and stalker-ish.
    And some of the things you posted that are acceptable for guys/girls to do are abuse or just wrong.
    And the rest are just stupid.
    talk2hand rolleyes
Tiadaria
Don't pretend to speak for me. I'm capable of telling a potential partner what I like, don't like, what I want, and what I don't all on my own, kthx.

s**t, I might just edit this with a complete breakdown of that list in a bit. How bored am I...?


well if some dudes on facebook already did just that

The males response have typed in CAPS. Sorry, I know it's annoying, but there's no text editor.

1. Do not cheat on a girl. We girls talk, we WILL know, and we WILL find out, and we WILL dump you!
US BOYS TALK TOO. YOU CAN TURN FROM THE CUTE CATHOLIC GIRL INTO THE NYMPHO FRUITCAKE VERY QUICKLY.

2. Be aware of all your girlfriends’ guy friends, brothers, fathers, or anything. They are protective. Every single male friend we have will kick your a** if you end up hurting her.
I'M SURE THEY'LL UNDERSTAND. THEY ARE ALL DICKS.

3. Never ever miss an opportunity to tell her that she’s beautiful. We girls love that.
BUT WE LOOK PRETTY GOOD IN OUR NEW JEANS. WHERE'S OUR COMPLIMENT?

4. If she slapped you hard, you probably deserved it.
IF WE PUNCH YOU HARD, YOU PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE MADE US A SAMMICH.

5. Do not be afraid of holding her. If she’s going out with you in the first place, it’s obvious that she likes you and wants to be in your arms.
DON'T BE AFRAID TO PUT OUT ON THE FIRST DATE. IF WE ASKED YOU OUT FOR A DINNER, IT'S OBVIOUS THAT WE WANT TO ******** YOU.

6. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend -- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts or hoodie’s, and a really pretty piece of jewelry.
EVERY MALE SHOULD GET THREE THINGS FROM HIS GIRLFRIEND - SILENCE, SAMMICH AND a**l.

7. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely. We GIRLS think that’s really cute and sweet.
YOU CAN'T CALL US TO SAY THAT YOU GOT HOME SAFELY?

8. If a guy is bothering your girlfriend, it is your right to beat the sh!t out of him.
DAMN RIGHT. A MALE SHOULD JUST KILL THAT MOTHER ********. RIGHT? THEN HE SHOULD BEAT THE s**t OUT OF HIM, JUDGE FOR THREATENING HIM WITH JAIL, CONVICTIONS AND COMMUNITY SERVICE. THEN BEAT THE s**t OUT OF EVERYONE ELSE WHO OPPOSES. NOW, WHO SAID WOMEN ARE PEACEFUL?

9. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer. It’ll make her feel secure that you love her more than the other girl.
THE OTHER GIRL DOESN'T NEED TO BE ASSURED EVERY THREE SECONDS AND I BET SHE DOESN'T NAG AS MUCH EITHER. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?

10. Never ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.
YES, WE ARE A TREES. WE WILL NOT REACT TO ANYTHING. BEAT US SENSELESS PLEASE.

11. Go along with her to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went with her.
ALRIGHT, WATCH A PORNO WITH US THEN. WE DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, JUST LET US REENACT THE SCENES

12. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend. Or else.
YOU BETTER LET US BE A MAN INFRONT OF THE BOYS, OR ELSE.

13. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle. Let her win once in a while.
I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T ALLOWED TO FIGHT BACK AT ALL IN FIRST PLACE? WE ARE TREES, REMEMBER?

14. Memorize your girlfriend’s birthday. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life. Not gonna lie.
NOT GONNA LIE, REMIND US OR YOU WON'T GET A THING

15. Don't drench yourself in the cologne, but smell good.
SHAVE YOUR v****a

16. You don’t have to spend a million dollars on the Birthday/Christmas/Valentine gift. It doesn't have to be expensive, or cost anything but it has to be meaningful.
A MEANINGFUL PAYSLIP THAT PAID ALL THE BILLS FOR THE YEAR?

17. Don’t ever lie to us; we always find out.
DON'T SAY THERE'S ONLY BEEN ONE OTHER; WE ALWAYS FIND OUT.

18. Don’t say you understand when you don’t. That’s bad.
I UNDERSTAND

19. Remember: Girls are pretty, but yours is the Prettiest!
UNLESS SHE'S KIERA KNIGHTLY I HIGHLY DOUBT IT.

20. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; but doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
AND DOING NOTHING AT ALL MAKES FOR ENTERTAINMENT FOR THE NIGHT.

21. Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want relationships.
THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAY TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! WE'VE HEARD ABOUT YOUR 'SEX AND THE CITY' SHOW. LYING BITCHES.

22. No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe. Don’t bother trying to convince us otherwise, that is a bad idea
SHE'S OUR EX-GIRLFRIEND FOR A REASON. KEEP GOING ON LIKE YOU ARE AND YOU'LL BE THE NEXT.

23. It’s good to be sensitive, to a point.
THE POINT OF US IS SENSITIVE, SO DO MORE WITH YOU MOUTH.

24. If you did something wrong, apologize. Even if you didn’t, do it anyway.
IF IT'S A BLUE MOON AND YOU'RE ACTUALLY RIGHT, YOU'RE REALLY WRONG. WE'RE STILL RIGHT.

25. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)
"IT'S OKAY" IS THE END OF THE CONVERSATION. WE WILL FORGET ABOUT IT AFTER THEN. IF YOU'RE STILL THINKING ABOUT IT, THEN IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR NOT SAYING SOMETHING EARLIER.

26. We are self-conscious by nature; we can’t help it. Let it be.
WE ARE HORNY BY NATURE. JUST BEND OVER AND LET IT BE.

27. We don’t shave our legs every day so just get over it.
WE TRIM OUR TOE NAILS WITH OUR TEETH. GET OVER IT.

28. Shave your face, no matter how cool you think your goatee or beard or mustache looks, we probably hate it. We like you clean shaven.
HEY, HERE'S AN IDEA. SHAVE YOUR LEGS. NO MATTER HOW COOL YOU THINK THE AMAZIN LOOK IS, YOUR MAN DEFINITELY HATES IT.

29. Show off a little, we think it’s cute.
SHOW A LITTLE. WE THINK IT'S HOT.

30. You are our boyfriend, our man, our protector, whether you know it or not, you are; act like it.
YOU ARE OUR DIRTY LITTLE SCHOOL GIRL IN THE BEDROOM, SO ACT LIKE IT.

31. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).
YOU ARE CUTE WITH A CLEAVAGE.

32. We love it when you hug us from behind and whisper in our ear.
WE LOVE IT WHEN WE DO YOU FROM BEHIND.

33. "Fine" is NEVER an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.
UNLESS YOU WANT TO KNOW THE HONEST ANSWER, JUST ACCEPT 'FINE'.

34. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you. Don’t obsess over that.
MOST OF THE TIME WE FANTASIZE IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. DON'T OBSESS OVER THAT.

35. I expect you to call me. If you don’t, you go down.
SORRY BABY, MY PHONE WAS DEAD.

36. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be. Don’t you dare take advantage of that.
HA! YOUR WEAKNESS!

37. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.
OKAY, CHUBS.

38. You look hot in hooded clothing items. Always.
YOU LOOK HOT IN A TIGHT MINI SKIRT. ALWAYS.

39. You should never tell a girl what to do. Ever.
OKAY, BUILD YOUR OWN BRAND NEW BED THEN. OH, I'M TAKING THE INSTRUCTIONS TOO. I THOUGHT YOU WOULD FLIP OUT BECAUSE THEY WERE 'TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO'.

40. Any decent man will ask a girl out to her face. I mean; if you aren’t man enough to ask us out to our face, who says youre gonna be man enough to our boyfriend at all.
ANY DECENT WOMAN WILL SAY THAT SHE WILL BUY HER OWN DRINK AND PUT OUT REGARDLESS OF THE AMOUNT OF MONEY SPENT ON HER.

41. Girls are very impressed when you ask them for advice. Unless its about another girl.
WHEN WE ASK FOR YOUR ADVICE IT'S ONLY BECAUSE WE WANT YOU TO STARED ON A 10 MINUTE RANT THAT DOESN'T REQUIRE YES OR NO ANSWERS SO THAT WE CAN ZONE OUT AND THINK ABOUT HOW WE CAN REALLY HANDLE THE PROBLEM AT HAND.

42. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.
IM UNIMPRESSED WITH A GIRL WHO DOESN'T KNOW COWGIRL.

43. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.
WHEN IN DOUBT, SHUT THE ******** UP AND MAKE US A SAMMICH.

44. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.
YOU'RE SEXY WHEN YOU LOOK AT US OUT THE CORNER OF YOUR EYES AND PUT A TITTY IN YOUR MOUTH.

45. Girls need to hear how you feel about them. Often. Tell her now.
MEN NEED SILENCE. SHUTUP, NOW.

46. A girl wants to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this and tell her.
THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME PUT OUT 3 TIMES A DAY. CAN YOU BEAT THAT?

47. If she’s not feeling loved, she will start looking....
IF YOU'RE NOT GIVING HEAD, WE WILL START LOOKING....

48. We like it when you tell us what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself. It’s cute.
TRUST US, YOU REALLY DON'T WANNA KNOW.

49. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...
SO IF YOU CAN'T SEE, HEAR OR READ ABOUT WHAT WE'RE DOING WE'RE IN THE CLEAR? AWESOME, I CAN LEGALLY HAVE AN AFFAIR ON MY BLIND AND DEAF GIRLFRIEND. AND HERE SHE WAS SAYING I WAS CHEATING JUST BECAUSE SHE COULD SMELL THE SEX. PFT.

50. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.
FOR THE RECORD, WE'D RATHER YOU BREAK UP WITH US VIA SMS FOR CHEATING RATHER THAN SABOTAGING US WHEN WE GET HOME. IT'S A LITTLE UNFAIR IF YOU ASK ME.

51. We can fall in love with you without really knowing you, if you are an @ss, we will find out, and we will get over it. Fast. Don't ruin it.
WE CAN FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR BODY, NOT YOU. TRY NOT TO LET YOUR PERSONALITY RUIN IT.

52. You like her, make a move. Don’t just sit there, you will fail, and you won’t get her.
YOU LIKE HIM? DON'T FLIRT WITH EVERYONE ELSE BUT HIM THINKING IT'S CUTE. YOU LOOK LIKE A SLUT AND WE LOSE INTEREST VERY QUICKLY.

53. Baseball players are hot. The sport makes you skinny and your arm muscles… well, it’s hot. We’ll go to all your games even if we hate baseball.
WE LIKE MUD-WRESTLING. WE WILL COME TO ALL OF YOUR MATCHES.

54. When you compliment us, we aren't sure how to accept the compliment without leading you on or reject the compliment without hurting you. So just bear with us here.
THANK YOU IS AN ACCEPTABLE RESPONSE TO EVERY COMPLIMENT KNOWN TO MAN. IF THERE'S MALES OUT THERE WHO GET LEAD ON BY A 'THANK YOU' THEN THEY'RE FEMALES.

55. WE HATE BEING LED ON! If you think it's bad being led on by a girl, try being led on by a guy.
PUT OUT QUICKLY AND IT WON'T BE SUCH A LONG 'LEAD'.

56. We like it when guys are willing to have an actual relationship, not just a one-night stand. Most girls don't like pimps or players, just guys who like ONE girl only.
SURE, I WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU, SO IT'LL SAY THAT I'M A ONE GIRL MAN.

57. But don't be obsessive. Major turn-off.
DON'T TALK. MAJOR TURN-OFF.

58. Call sometimes, just to say hi, not for a certain reason. When we see your number on caller ID, our heart always skips a beat. Try calling just to say good night, or good morning, its soo adorable!
SORRY, PHONE IS DEAD.

59. BE HONEST!
BE IN THE KITCHEN.

60. Don't ONLY tell us what we want to hear. We HATE that.
YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT YOU'RE PRETTY AND YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT YOU'RE FAT? OKAY, MA'AM - I AM A TREE.

61. At sleepovers, if you wonder what we talk about, quit worrying. It really is only you.
A BUNCH OF GIRL'S ROLLING AROUND ON THE BED IN THEIR UNDERWEAR TALKING ONLY OF ME? OH, GOD, IM HARD.

62. If you catch us staring, it is most likely because we're spacing out, not because we really stare at you. Unless we smile when you notice. Then you either look really hot, or we like you.
WHEN WE STARE AT YOU, WE'RE STARING AT YOU - NOT YOUR PERSONALITY.

63. We like it when you hold us when we're crying. It's good to feel loved and safe.
WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY OR DO WHEN YOU CRYS. PLEASE REFRAIN FROM DOING THIS WHEN WE ARE AROUND. THANKS.

64. Don't go to our friends to talk about us. Come straight to us.
WHERE DO YOU GIRLS GET THESE INFO FROM? WHY WOULD WE GO TO YOUR FRIENDS TO b***h ABOUT YOU? WE'D OBVIOUSLY GO TO OUR BOYS.

65. Don't tell us you love us unless you are positive you mean it. If we don't say it back, it's just that we really want to mean it when we say it. Don't say it right away, then it shows lack of commitment.
SHIRT ON - LOVE YOU
SHIRT OFF - SLIGHTLY INTERESTED IN YOU

66. We like our hands to be held and our waists to be touched.
WE LIKE OUR SPACE. BACK THE ******** UP.

67. We like you to kiss our hand and cheeks and forehead (esp. forehead!!), not just shove your tongue down our throats. We do like to breathe.
IF YOU DON'T WANT OUR TONGUE SHOVED DOWN YOUR IN THROAT WE REALLY ONLY HAVE ONE OTHER TOOL. DN'T WORRY - WE CAN USE THAT TOOL WITH YOUR CHEEKS, HAND AND FOREHEAD TOO. THEY WON'T MISS OUT.

68. We like it when you're tender, but don't lose your masculinity.
WE LIKE IN WHEN YOU'RE A NAUGHTY LITTLE MINX - IN THE BEDROOM, NOT ON THE STREET.

69. Do chivalrous things when we least expect it (ex. holding doors for us).
GIVE US A MASSAGE WHEN WE LEAST EXPECT IT. JUST DO IT.

70. As surprising as it may be, while guys might actually look at personality, the first thing girls look at tends to be looks. We're not going to see you and think, 'I wonder what his personality is like!' Terrible, but true.
SERIOUSLY, WHERE THE HELL DO GIRLS GET THESE INFORMATION. THERE IS NO CHANCE THAT THE FIRST THOUGHT GOING THROUGH OUR MIND IS IF YOU HAVE A NICE PERSONALITY OR NOT.

71. If we love you, and youre hurt on the basketball court, rolling on the floor in pain; we’re hurting more just watching you.
SURE, THAT CRACKED RIB OF OURS IS NOTHING. IF YOU REALLY WANT US TO FEEL SOMETHING JUST MAKE US WATCH A REPLAY OF IT LATER. THAT WILL HURT SOOOOO MUCH.

72. We LOVE it when you get nervous around us. It's adorable! Don't think you have to be Mr. Cool Guy all the time.
WE LOVE IT WHEN YOU CAN ACTUALLY THINK FOR YOUR SELF. DON'T THINK YOU NEVER HAVE TO SHOW ANY INITIATIVE.

73. Don't play hard to get. We’ll get bored and move on.
DON'T BE THE SAME PERSON EVERY SINGLE DAY. WE'LL GET BORED AND MOVE ON.

74. If you don't call us, then we will spend hours thinking about why you never called, and we will waste a lot of time thinking about it, eventually coming to the conclusion that we don't like you anymore.
SORRY, PHONE DIED AGAIN.

75. We lost interest quickly if you lead us on but never take action.
LET US KNOW IF YOU'RE ON THE PILL OR NOT. THINGS WILL MOVE A LOT QUICKER.

76. We might seem to flirt a lot, but a girl always thinks about the one guy she really likes right before she falls asleep.
WE MIGHT SEEM TO FLIRT BACK A LOT, BUT A GUY ALWAYS ENDS UP IN BED WITH THE GIRL WHO REALLY LIKES HIM BEFORE HE GOES TO SLEEP.

77. When a girl likes a guy, she subconsciously gives him a song that makes her think of him every time she hears it.
WHEN A GUY LIKES A GIRL, HE CONSCIOUSLY GIVES HER A PORNO SCENE THAT HE WANTS TO REENACT WITH HER.

78. If guys do the same as girls do in #77, tell her what song reminds you of her.
...AND IF IT'S NOT A SONG?

79. Randomly compliment girls in conversations. If you're talking about sports, be like "Oh, by the way, that shirt really made your eyes look green today." It totally throws us off, and we love it.
WHY WOULD WE BE THINKING ABOUT YOU IF WE'RE TALKING ABOUT SPORTS? THAT'S JUST OUTRAGEOUS.

80. Ask us about how we're doing once in a while, and at least pretend to be interested.
DON'T ASK US TO TALK EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY. SILENCE AT THE DINNER TABLE WORKS FOR US.

81. If we're not talking to you, we secretly want you to talk to us first.
ONCE AGAIN, NOT MIND READERS. IF YOU WANT TO TALK, THEN TALK

82. Play with our hair without being like a gay hairstylist.
PLAY WITH OUR BALLS/ARSE WITHOUT MAKING IT SOUND GAY.

83. We get really happy when you show any sign of interest. Don't just do it and then never do it again. Bad bad bad…
WE GET REALLY HAPPY WHEN YOU SHOW SKIN. DON'T WEAR A LOW CUT TOP AND TRACKIES TO GO WITH IT. BAD, BAD, BAD....

84. Keep up the conversation on IM and phones and in person! Don't be awkward. That’s bad.
DO YOU WANT TO PAY MY PHONE BILL?

85. We will always feel bad if we don't like you back. Not all girls are b!tches, no matter what you may think. We hate to reject you.
WE WON'T FEEL ANYTHING AT ANYTHING AT ALL IF WE DON'T LIKE YOU. TRY NOT TO LET IT GET TO YOU.

86. ok, so some girls are b!tches and they like rejecting boys, but the people who wrote this group are not. better?
OKAY, SO WE MAY STILL HAVE THE FEELING OF A RAGING ERECTION AND WANT TO ******** YOU. BETTER?

87. If we say "Let's just be friends", we really mean it. Don't keep trying to pursue us, and don't say ok and then ignore us. That's just mean and horrible.
YOU CAN'T HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO....

88. It's adorable when a best guy friend who a girl has thought about liking confesses he likes her.
WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED TO YOUR FRIEND ZONE RULE?

89. If you’re single, find the one girl who’s always there on the sidelines at your football game, or at each of your concerts, all your baseball games. She loves you. Her excuse may be that she’s there for her brother, but she’s really there for you.
BUT WHY WASTE THE GIRLS THAT ARE RIGHT THERE AND NOT TRYING TO HIDE?

90. After you find that girl, smile at her once in a while, it’ll mean the world to her.
PUT A TITTY IN YOUR MOUTH FROM TIME TO TIME. IT'LL MEAN THE WORLD TO US.

91. Get to know her, you’ll make her year first of all, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll end up liking her.
THE AVERAGE FEMALE MEETS 300 NEW MALES EACH YEAR. IF ALL 300 OF THESE MALES FOLLOWED THIS RULE, THEN THEY WOULD ALL END UP MAKING HER YEAR, MAKING HER AGE VERY, VERY QUICKLY - THUS CANCELING OUT THE POSSIBILITY OF ONE OF THEM LIKING HER. YOUR THEORY IS FLAWED. (NUMBERS ARE APPROXIMATE, BUT YOU GET MY POINT)

92. Not all blondes are b!tches. Some are cool.
NOT ALL GAMERS ARE NERDS. SOME ARE COOL.

93. Not all blondes are sluts. Some have morals.
SOME BLOND MALES AREN'T GAY - ALL BLONDE MALES ARE.

94. In your mind, give every girl a chance. Each one deserves at least one.
WE GIVE YOU OVER 100 CHANCES, BUT YOU BLOW THEM ALL VERY QUICKLY BY NAGGING, BEING INSECURE, DRESSING RIDICULOUSLY, NOT MAKING US A SAMMICH, NOT PUTTING OUT, BEING TOO CLINGY, ETC, ETC.

95. Girls fantasize too, its just not always about sex.
MEN NEED TO GO OUT TO THE PUB WITH THE BOYS. IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT CHEAT.

96. We girls give you guys code names so that you don’t know that we’re talking about you. :]
WE GUYS GIVE YOU GIRLS A RATING OUT OF 10 :]

97. If you’re jealous, it may suck for you, but we think it’s attractive if you really care that much.
OKAY, YOU KEEP NAWWING AT THE SITUATION, BUT IT MAY SUCK FOR YOU IF A PRETTY BLOND WALKS PASS.

98. If a girl blushes when you talk to her, she either likes you or she's embarrassed by what you're saying.
IF A MALE GETS HARD WHEN YOU'RE NEAR, IT USUALLY ONLY MEANS ONE THING. YOU HAVE ONE GOOD LOOKING BEST FRIEND.

99. Girls don’t really write your name on a piece of paper a million times if they like you, that’s a myth…… sometimes
MEN DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT YOUR BREASTS. THAT'S A MYTH.....NEVER.

100. If a girl really likes you, just seeing you will make her day.
IF A GUY REALLY LIKES YOU, JUST SEEING THOSE PICTURES YOU SENT TO YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND THAT HE PROMISED NOT TO SHOW ANYONE WILL DEFINITELY MAKE HIS DAY.

101. Even if you aren’t all that cute, and we like you, we think you’re hot. Don’t take advantage of that, take pride in that.
THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE. GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN DARLING.

102. Every time you smile at us, it may mean only a little to you, but it means the world to us. Don't take the little things for granted.
YES, WHEN YOU PLAY THE GUILT TRIP ON US WE'LL BE SILENT AND GO ALONG. DON'T TAKE THIS FOR GRANTED, BECAUSE WE'RE SECRETLY IMAGINING STABBING YOU IN THE EYE.
Tiadaria
Don't pretend to speak for me. I'm capable of telling a potential partner what I like, don't like, what I want, and what I don't all on my own, kthx.

s**t, I might just edit this with a complete breakdown of that list in a bit. How bored am I...?


Oh, please do it?

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::tears up your 'right to speak for all of womankind' pass::

I'm sorry, miss. This was never valid.

Kliapatra's Partner In Crime

Beloved Bunny

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My list is much shorter.
For both men and women.

1. Every person is different.
2. If someone needs a list of guidelines to talk to me, they shouldn't bother.

Party Seraph

lol, only guys that can't get girls have to read these things.
Men only need to one thing, just suck her p***y and she will love you forever.

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