"Arrr, thar be pirates afoot!
Avast ye scraggly bunch of blaggards and miscreants, today be a day worth celebratin'. T'is a day t'talk like a pirate and enjoy the finer things of life like plunderin', sailin', and findin' treasures of piratin' garb and achievements. Raise yer bounties while ye can me hearties, 'tis not everyday ye get t'raise the Jolly Roger high so ye only get the weekend t'find all the hidden treasures of the event. Ye have today t'pillage the site, after that ye must stick t'yer piratin' forum where yer safe from the codes of spam and drunken hijinks.
Now go me maties, put on yer best piratin' garb and join in the fun, yoho!"
Really Gaia Really??