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join the guild | spy on the unit | melt your face off

Hi, I'm Archie Saturn, alien criminal.

Once upon a time, I ran a little something I like to call the Interplanetary Criminal Relocation Service out of my backyard. Well, the grassy knoll in Aekea where the pods landed wasn't my yard at first, but after I built my house on the land it was!

See, back in the day, there was this group of... interstellar guys... who called themselves the Interplanetary Council. The group was made up of scientists and politicians and some other beings you'd think wouldn't want anything to do with each other. Oddly enough, they all had a common desire - to send their planets' criminal element... somewhere else. That 'somewhere else' turned out to be Gaia, one of the few planets that knew nothing about the council and its actions.

So, some scientists and engineers built these tiny pods - a punishment themselves, really - and the politicians chose several examples of the criminal element to be pioneers in space exile. The lawbreakers were stuffed into the pods, the coordinates to Gaia were set, and off they went! The Council expected criminals to land in the same shape they left in, but somewhere along the way, every last one of them was turned into an infant, and most drastically changed in appearance as well.

For a while, I was distributing my fellow aliens among the humans of Gaia, but when the Council disbanded in January of 2007, the pods stopped landing in my yard. Apparently they're landing all over Gaia now, so keep your eyes peeled and you might get the dubious honor of re-raising a felon!

If you do find a pod and need a little help, my number's listed.
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pet shop
friends of the icrs
pin up of the month

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05.04.12 - Hoss is a teenager too!
08.17.11 - Opec is a teenager!
08.08.11 - Aw, Coudray found a friend. And he's a young adult!
08.06.11 - Yahir has landed!
07.20.11 - Kes'Nairi has been found guilty. GAIA PARTY!
06.06.11 - Alleone is here!
05.25.11 - Ishtai is coming!
05.18.11 - Kahu has arrived!
04.26.11 - Poto is on his way!
04.20.11 - Lixy is here!
04.16.11 - Athimar's a toddler!
04.14.11 - Xizza!
02.25.11 - Delian's a kid! Yay!
02.02.11 - Did Hector see his shadow? What does it matter, he's not part groundhog! But he is a teenager! Yay!
01.21.11 - Jamie is a kid wheee
01.16.11 - Dyre is a kid!
01.01.11 - Dante's a teenager!

Old news

Old Event Threads
Concept Contest - January 16-22, 2006
First Flatsale - February 16-19, 2006
Second Flatsale - April 21-24, 2006
Two-Headed Baby Raffle - April 24-May 1
Who in the World is Archie Saturn Contest - February - June 2006
Surprise Third Flatsale - June 1-8, 2006
Semi-sort-of concept contest! - October 1, 2006-January 14, 2007
Fourth flatsale! - February 15-29, 2008
Earth and Arbor Day sale! - April 19-28, 2008
ICRS Summer Festival - July 2008
ICRS Holiday Flatsale '08 - December 15, 2008-January 3, 2009
Sinus Pain Awareness Month Party! - March 1 - April 1, 2009
ICRS Sixth Flatsale - August 11-29, 2009
ICRS Fourth Anniversary Cosplay Sale - January 24-February 28, 2010
HICRS Hunting Party - August 8-August 31, 2010

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September 24, 2003
The Interplanetary Council sends the first criminal to Gaia. Caslon of Telegen II becomes Christopher Malcolm, and is raised by Tom and Stacy Emerson, who had just happened to be walking past the landing site when the pod arrived.

November 8, 2003
Happy Jack is exiled from the Puppet Planet for setting his apartment on fire. A recently retired woman with empty-nest syndrome takes the resulting baby home. Her name is Maggie Saturn and she names the child Archie.

May 1, 2004
Archie, now a teenager, begins work on the house that will become the Interplanetary Criminal Relocation Service headquarters. By the end of the month he has grown again, and by the end of the year, he is an Integrated Criminal and believes himself fully reformed.

Once his new home is complete, Archie spends the next several years pairing fully-grown exiled criminals with new arrivals. Many of the babies thrive, but some are raised by individuals with morals that are a bit too questionable.

Some time later, Archie decides that Gaians aren't so bad (after all, he was brought up by a pair of them) and he opens up headquarters to guardians who haven't been through the system.

February 2, 2006
Archie hands off his first baby to a non-criminal guardian named Kniene.

August 23, 2006
The last criminal lands at headquarters, five months before the Council disbands. Suspicious? Maybe.

January 10, 2007
Archie finds out, in the most painful way possible, that he wasn't really reformed after all. He regresses, losing his tail and some of his other stranger attributes, and feels quite sorry for himself when it's all said and done.

Within the week, the Interplanetary Council disbands, leaving an unknown number of pods without coordinates throughout the galaxy. They cite Archie's regression and the fact that more and more innocents are being mistakenly exiled as their reasons for closing the Council's doors. Police-equivalents and other governing powers possess most of the remaining pods, but some are likely to make their way onto the black market at some point, greatly increasing the chances that non-criminals will be mistakenly shipped off.

Present day...
The criminals continue to live their lives...

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As a Guardian, you don't ever really get to see this stage in the flesh. Most of the planets formerly associated with the Interplanetary Council still send mugshots in the prison pods, so if you search around you'll probably find your kid's.

Pictured: Levsali

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(Approximate human age equivalent: 0-1 year)
When your Criminal arrives on Gaia, they'll be in this helpless, squishy form. They might not have the mouth coordination to speak or the muscle coordination to give direction, but as long as they didn't get clocked on the head when they entered the atmosphere or brain-wiped before they left, they remember everything about their past and may be a little pissed off about their sudden body downgrade. Then again, if they committed their crime to gain attention, they might eat up the chance to have a personal slave.

Pictured: Ackley

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(Approximate human age equivalent: 2-6 years)
Oh, joy of joys! The child you've been doting on takes his or her first steps and says his or her first words, disturbing though they might be.

Pictured: Areia

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(Approximate human age equivalent: 7-12 years)
Playing video games, perfecting language skills and learning the higher math they never did back home, it's all here. Enjoy the last little bit of time you have with your charge before they gain the strength to be a total b*****d.

Pictured: Abigail

Preteen (optional)
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(Approximate human age equivalent: 13-15 years)
Your child is getting around on their own now, most likely, and they probably have many thoughts and feelings that they think you can't comprehend. You probably can't.

This stage is optional. If you would like to skip straight to Teen stage, please fill out your growth form accordingly.

Pictured: Josh

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(Approximate human age equivalent: 16-19 years)
If they haven't already, your criminal will likely venture out on their own a lot more at this stage of his or her life.

Pictured: Elly

Young Adult
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(Approximate human age equivalent: 20-? years)
Many former criminals are completely self-sufficient at this point in their lives. Have they been reformed? Are they still the bad boy or girl? Only time will tell.

Pictured: Leggy n Preggo Bailey and Francine

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(Approximate human age equivalent: ?)
If they aren't on their own by now, they probably never will be. Welcome to the adult stage, a criminal's final opportunity to live this new life they've made for themselves before everything changes.

Integrated Criminal
-no image-

(Approximate human age equivalent: ?)


Fully Reformed Interplanetary Criminal
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(Approximate human age equivalent: ?)

Pictured: Archie

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Customs and Pet Trades
If you feel a pet trade is in order, please PM the mule with your offer. Don't be offended if I say no, I've got a bunch of kids and I have to be particularly inspired these days to take on more. There aren't going to be any gold or real money trades here ever again/ever, so don't ask.

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Click the image below for all the ICRS Pet Shoppage you can handle!
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0. Follow Gaia's TOS.

1. Do not steal the art.

2. In spite of #1, Guardians should feel free to resize their kids' images for sig purposes, art contest reference, and other personal things.

3. No drama. This includes bitching and whining in any flatsale/raffle/contest thread or in here. You're allowed to have shitty days and you're allowed to talk about them in here, but if I hear anything about suicide or non-jokey animal abuse or any number of other things that it should be common sense not to mention, I'll report you! Yay!

Also falling under this category: post-stalking someone into this thread when you know your presence will just make people angry and cause drama.

4. Don't harass the guardians. Please check their journals to see their personal policies on gift-giving and PMs.

If a bunch of guardians seem to be banding together in a wall of discontent against you, it might be a good idea to get out before I throw you out.

5. Try not to stretch the page. I understand that sometimes it can't be helped, so when the page is stretched, everyone else should work doubly hard to post a bunch and get to the next page.

6. Don't harass me repeatedly.

Send a PM, ask me in-thread, just don't ask me the same questions a million times in a million different ways. I can only take so much stupidity.

7. Guardians, please do not whine about growings. I do have a tiny, but adorable real life that I like to visit with sometimes. Not often, but sometimes. Sorry, I'm slow.

8. No refunds unless I decide to close the shop unexpectedly.

If the shop looks like it's on its way out, I will try to get the guardians back a portion of the money they gave me, depending on how much art they have received. Or I could just finish growing your kid. We'll talk.

9. No super-quotes. See #5.

10. Please keep all text at a reasonable size.

I find quoting people's posts to see cyber-whispers terribly ******** ANNOYING. And don't tell the rest of us to not look or be all "hee hee just ignore us!" because I'll rip you a new a*****e, I swear.

I hate being such a b***h, so just try to keep this to a minimum. ilu

11. Godmod at your own discretion. It really is an okay thing to do sometimes if all the parties participating in the RP are all right with it. Really. It's fun. Establish your boundaries early to prevent tears.

13. OOC brackets are only needed in this thread if there's an active RP going on.

14. Flatsale kids are full customs and free unless otherwise stated.

15. No co-owning.

16. You may not sell or give away your child. You may pass on his/her children to friends, but those friends must be approved by me.

17. Your baby can look like anything you want them to.

Don't be afraid to ask for the outrageous. I'm trying to improve my art all the time, and who knows... your ultimate criminal might be just what I'm looking to draw.

18. You may have more than one. Sometimes. Those times will be clearly outlined when they come up.
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11/24/10: Growth slots for all, starting 1/1/11! Thank you for your patience. <3

This shop has no growth requirements except time and the form below, PMed to this account. Please note that as of November 10, 2008, the Preteen stage is optional, and there has been a stage section added to the form to reflect this.

[b]Child's Name:[/b]

[b]Stage the child is growing to:[/b]

[b]Hair Style:[/b]

[b]Clothing preference:[/b]

[b]Personality overview for the upcoming stage:[/b]

[b]Things you absolutely don't want to see:[/b]

[b]Any other changes?[/b]

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Want to affiliate? Use the awesome Verell-themed banner below! Give me one back (in the thread) and it'll go right here!

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[url=http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/t.11684553/] [img]http://i890.photobucket.com/albums/ac105/icrsmain/shopfront/lilbanner.jpg[/img][/url]

This code is split into two parts for our friends using Firefox. Please remove the hard returns to get it to work right. 3nodding

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Thank you
Thanks to everyone who posted in the very first concept contest thread. It was very kind of you to give a new thread a little of your time.

ICRS Guardians - I LOVE YOU, MAN!

Alicia Nova, [Ogin], FallenWhiteRabbit, Tisiphone, ladyumbra, lithle, Lenachan358, MiSs_KiKi

Black list!
aj leibman, ghost of ari leibman, Master sonicdude, Master sonicdude2 and all his other 90 mules

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andrew rannells
ICRS concept (c) Archie Saturn (Smerdle)
ICRS art (c) Archie Saturn (Smerdle)
Character concepts (c) guardians
Breedables journals (c) Anya! XD

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