Sayuri_Nitta
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Youkochylde
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- Posted: Fri, 03 Mar 2006 16:57:41 +0000
Smiling, Omi nodded and curled up against her, letting her head rest on Sati's shoulder. NOW she could doze... she had been worried that their time would be cut short. "Good... stay for a bit? To-san'll feed you dinner, too."
Sayuri_Nitta
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- Posted: Fri, 03 Mar 2006 17:01:28 +0000
'Sounds good,' she kissed the top of Nozomi's head softly and then relaxed again. The sill was sun warmed, and she felt her eyes droop from that and the warmth of the Fa'e pressed against her. Well maybe Youko would shout or something, she thought sleepily..
Youkochylde
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- Posted: Fri, 24 Mar 2006 18:23:51 +0000
Staring at the ceiling was getting old.
Nozomi lay across her bed, sighing faintly as she rolled over onto her stomach and picked up her book for the fifteenth time. She liked quiet time... and liked being left to herself. But there was only so much solitude a person could take. The marks and wounds from the fight had cleared up, but there was still pain whenever she tried to use her abilities. She had found, however, that with time and effort, she COULD use them... and that the pain was going away gradually.
"You're doing it again," Youko said, smiling faintly as he came up the stairs from the second floor and rested his arms, folded on the floor at the steps.
Omi blinked, turning towards him and smiling faintly. "What's that?" she asked, tilting her head curiously.
"Moping." Youko came up fully then, and walked to the bed to sit on the end. He wished Omi would tell him about the incident, but no matter what he threatened or offered, she refused. "Still not going to tell me what happened, are you..."
Omi shook her head, glancing down at the book again. "it's not worth it," she murmured, re-reading the same sentence for the fourth time. "It was stupid of me, I acted on provocation, and I don't want to relive the fact that I acted like an idiot."
Well, he had to give her one thing... she didn't act like most kids and revel in the fact that she'd gotten into a fight. She sounded very contrite about it, and Youko let out a sigh as he moved to comb his fingers through her hair. "I understand. I just wish you would tell me, but I'll respect your reasons." Leaning in, he kissed her cheek and moved to stand up again. "You're not grounded anymore."
"Really??" Omi sat up in shock, staring at him with what was starting to become a VERY large grin.
"Really. Go on, get. Dinner's at 6."
Before Youko could even finish, he was nearly pounced by the girl, hugged tightly and left with his hair drifting in the breeze she'd left as she bolted for the stairs.
"Thankyouto-sanbye!!!"
The next thing he heard was her feet pounding down the stairs... and then down the next set that went to the first floor. Smirking faintly, Youko was pretty sure that she'd be gone before he even got down the first flight. It did him good to see her happy again... and he just hoped that something like this didn't happen again.
Nozomi lay across her bed, sighing faintly as she rolled over onto her stomach and picked up her book for the fifteenth time. She liked quiet time... and liked being left to herself. But there was only so much solitude a person could take. The marks and wounds from the fight had cleared up, but there was still pain whenever she tried to use her abilities. She had found, however, that with time and effort, she COULD use them... and that the pain was going away gradually.
"You're doing it again," Youko said, smiling faintly as he came up the stairs from the second floor and rested his arms, folded on the floor at the steps.
Omi blinked, turning towards him and smiling faintly. "What's that?" she asked, tilting her head curiously.
"Moping." Youko came up fully then, and walked to the bed to sit on the end. He wished Omi would tell him about the incident, but no matter what he threatened or offered, she refused. "Still not going to tell me what happened, are you..."
Omi shook her head, glancing down at the book again. "it's not worth it," she murmured, re-reading the same sentence for the fourth time. "It was stupid of me, I acted on provocation, and I don't want to relive the fact that I acted like an idiot."
Well, he had to give her one thing... she didn't act like most kids and revel in the fact that she'd gotten into a fight. She sounded very contrite about it, and Youko let out a sigh as he moved to comb his fingers through her hair. "I understand. I just wish you would tell me, but I'll respect your reasons." Leaning in, he kissed her cheek and moved to stand up again. "You're not grounded anymore."
"Really??" Omi sat up in shock, staring at him with what was starting to become a VERY large grin.
"Really. Go on, get. Dinner's at 6."
Before Youko could even finish, he was nearly pounced by the girl, hugged tightly and left with his hair drifting in the breeze she'd left as she bolted for the stairs.
"Thankyouto-sanbye!!!"
The next thing he heard was her feet pounding down the stairs... and then down the next set that went to the first floor. Smirking faintly, Youko was pretty sure that she'd be gone before he even got down the first flight. It did him good to see her happy again... and he just hoped that something like this didn't happen again.
Youkochylde
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- Posted: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 22:27:49 +0000
Contemplation - Part 1
It had been a while now... Omi was finally allowed OUT, and she'd taken full advantage of it by vanishing for hours on end to retreat into the forest near the house. This time, however, she'd gone on past that, following the same path that Devmani had taken her on so long ago. A few wrong turns were made... and a bit of time was lost as she retraced her steps and got back on the right track. To be honest, she wasn't concerned about how long it took. She'd already told Youko that she may not be back that night, and told him exactly where she was going. While he wasn't happy about it, he agreed and made her promise to bring her phone with her, just in case.
Now, she made her way towards the waterfall and pool that she'd been shown as a child. Omi could hear the rushing water long before the waterfall came into sight, and the sound spurred her onward, bringing a smile to her face. She had a lot to think about... and could think of no better place to experience the solitude she needed.
The rocks near the pool were flat and wide, perfect for leaving her bag, quiver and bow. She stood there for a long moment, stretching her arms over her head and revelling in the knowledge that out here, she was truly alone. There was no one to worry about seeing her... and she curled up to sit on the rock, contemplating a refreshing dip in the water. She hadn't brought a swimsuit... but that wasn't going to stop her. The weather was warm enough now to let her go wandering around in just about anything she wanted. Including nothing.
Leaning back, Omi let her back rest against the smooth stone, pillowing her head in her hands as she stared up at the pockets of sky that showed through the canopy of green overhead. Her toes touched lightly at the water at the edge of the rock, and she knew without looking that the tiny minnows were already coming to inspect the new 'addition' to their home.
She needed to think... and quickly, she found her thoughts turning inward, her vision glazing over as she stopped seeing what was in front of her and started to see her memories.
What was wrong with her? That was foremost in her mind. She enjoyed Devmani's company... and the night they'd said goodbye still hurt when she thought of it. When she was growing up, she couldn't imagine anything better than spending the rest of her days with him... and that feeling had stayed until recently.
Then there was Sati. The confusion only increased as she remembered the many-armed girl, and Omi closed her eyes as she felt the heated flush creep up her cheeks. Sati made her feel... loved. Was that the proper word? She felt comfortable with her... and curious all at the same time. But this wasn't normal, was it? Boys liked girls, girls liked boys. That's how it went.
Except Astaroth, her mind cheerfully provided. "Well yes, except him," she answered aloud. Sometimes it helped her think more when she DID talk to herself. "He likes other boys." So who's to say that girls can't like girls too? Omi frowned a bit at that, chewing on her lower lip. She hadn't thought of it THAT way. Why not? "Because it makes no sense," she murmured, eyes slitting open to look up at the sky. "Couples are supposed to have children. If two of the same gender are a couple, then what's the point?"
Her inner dialogue had no answer for that just yet, so she continued. "I'm not saying that Astaroth is wrong... or that Sati's wrong for kissing me..." Or that you're wrong for liking it? "That's beside the point." The problem was that she DIDN'T feel wrong... in fact, it felt more natural to her than what she felt for Devmani. But why?? "It IS wrong for me to like it.." she began, her words coming slowly as she watched the leaves blow back and forth overhead. "But it doesn't feel wrong. I dont' understand, but it almost seems like it's more reasonable than me being with a man."
Could it be because you WERE a man?
Blinking, Omi sat up at that, frowning slightly and letting out a sigh. "Who knows," she muttered, deciding that she suddenly needed a change of topic. Getting to her feet, she stripped out of her clothing piece by piece and left it folded neatly by her bag. The last thing she removed was the binding around her chest, and one hand came up to brush against the revealed skin. There was barely anything there to begin with... to be honest, she half wondered if she even needed the bindings at all.
Leaving the clothing behind, she stepped towards the water then, untying her hair and letting it flow loose as she slipped beneath the surface, swimming towards the waterfall itself.
It had been a while now... Omi was finally allowed OUT, and she'd taken full advantage of it by vanishing for hours on end to retreat into the forest near the house. This time, however, she'd gone on past that, following the same path that Devmani had taken her on so long ago. A few wrong turns were made... and a bit of time was lost as she retraced her steps and got back on the right track. To be honest, she wasn't concerned about how long it took. She'd already told Youko that she may not be back that night, and told him exactly where she was going. While he wasn't happy about it, he agreed and made her promise to bring her phone with her, just in case.
Now, she made her way towards the waterfall and pool that she'd been shown as a child. Omi could hear the rushing water long before the waterfall came into sight, and the sound spurred her onward, bringing a smile to her face. She had a lot to think about... and could think of no better place to experience the solitude she needed.
The rocks near the pool were flat and wide, perfect for leaving her bag, quiver and bow. She stood there for a long moment, stretching her arms over her head and revelling in the knowledge that out here, she was truly alone. There was no one to worry about seeing her... and she curled up to sit on the rock, contemplating a refreshing dip in the water. She hadn't brought a swimsuit... but that wasn't going to stop her. The weather was warm enough now to let her go wandering around in just about anything she wanted. Including nothing.
Leaning back, Omi let her back rest against the smooth stone, pillowing her head in her hands as she stared up at the pockets of sky that showed through the canopy of green overhead. Her toes touched lightly at the water at the edge of the rock, and she knew without looking that the tiny minnows were already coming to inspect the new 'addition' to their home.
She needed to think... and quickly, she found her thoughts turning inward, her vision glazing over as she stopped seeing what was in front of her and started to see her memories.
What was wrong with her? That was foremost in her mind. She enjoyed Devmani's company... and the night they'd said goodbye still hurt when she thought of it. When she was growing up, she couldn't imagine anything better than spending the rest of her days with him... and that feeling had stayed until recently.
Then there was Sati. The confusion only increased as she remembered the many-armed girl, and Omi closed her eyes as she felt the heated flush creep up her cheeks. Sati made her feel... loved. Was that the proper word? She felt comfortable with her... and curious all at the same time. But this wasn't normal, was it? Boys liked girls, girls liked boys. That's how it went.
Except Astaroth, her mind cheerfully provided. "Well yes, except him," she answered aloud. Sometimes it helped her think more when she DID talk to herself. "He likes other boys." So who's to say that girls can't like girls too? Omi frowned a bit at that, chewing on her lower lip. She hadn't thought of it THAT way. Why not? "Because it makes no sense," she murmured, eyes slitting open to look up at the sky. "Couples are supposed to have children. If two of the same gender are a couple, then what's the point?"
Her inner dialogue had no answer for that just yet, so she continued. "I'm not saying that Astaroth is wrong... or that Sati's wrong for kissing me..." Or that you're wrong for liking it? "That's beside the point." The problem was that she DIDN'T feel wrong... in fact, it felt more natural to her than what she felt for Devmani. But why?? "It IS wrong for me to like it.." she began, her words coming slowly as she watched the leaves blow back and forth overhead. "But it doesn't feel wrong. I dont' understand, but it almost seems like it's more reasonable than me being with a man."
Could it be because you WERE a man?
Blinking, Omi sat up at that, frowning slightly and letting out a sigh. "Who knows," she muttered, deciding that she suddenly needed a change of topic. Getting to her feet, she stripped out of her clothing piece by piece and left it folded neatly by her bag. The last thing she removed was the binding around her chest, and one hand came up to brush against the revealed skin. There was barely anything there to begin with... to be honest, she half wondered if she even needed the bindings at all.
Leaving the clothing behind, she stepped towards the water then, untying her hair and letting it flow loose as she slipped beneath the surface, swimming towards the waterfall itself.
Youkochylde
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- Posted: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 22:28:48 +0000
Contemplation - Part 2
The water was cool still, and brought prickles to Omi's skin as she swam through the flowing pool towards the waterfall itself. If it had been a week or so earlier, it would have been too cold to do this, but now the water was just warm enough to do this without getting hypothermic. She knew she wouldn't be able to stay in long, but it was fine for now.
Tilting her head back into the waterfall, Omi let her eyes close as she continued to think. It wasn't that she WANTED to, but the thoughts just kept coming back.
Why WAS she like this? Why did she feel so mixed up inside when she thought about Devi or Sati? Why did it seem more natural to her to be with another woman than with a man? Sighing, she ducked her head completely under the waterfall, feeling the cool water coursing over her skin.
Maybe it IS because you were a man before.
Frowning, she shook herself free of the water, staring over the rippling pool towards the rock her clothes were still sitting on. They were some of Youko's old clothes... traditional Japanese, or as close to it as you could get here in Gaia... for men. Her body was most decidedly NOT feminine in the slightest, once you got past the fact that she was physically a girl. There were no curves, no voluptuous breasts, no shapely legs. Snorting softly, Omi brought up her hands and looked at the purple skin that covered her arms. "I take after dad," she muttered, turning her hands in the dappled sunlight. The dark spots around her wrists looked almost like bracelets... carry-overs from her father as well. It seemed that she got most of her appearance from him.
Pulling herself out of the water, she curled up to sit on the sun-warmed rock, not caring that she was without clothing still. It let her take a good long look at herself.
The same purple marks were on her feet and extended up towards her knees... and the same black spotting was wroung her ankles as well. Then there were the wings... also taken from her father. Nozomi was beginning to think that the only things she'd gotten from Kia were the black markings on her face and shoulder... and the bright green eyes.
As she wrapped her arms around folded knees, she stared down at her toes where they curled against the rock. There had to be something she was missing... something that she'd forgotten. SOMETHING was missing from her life, and she just wasn't certain what it was.
One thing she was convinced it wasn't, however, was a mate. Snorting faintly at the very thought, she kicked a loose stone into the water and watched it ripple across the surface to meet up with the waves from the waterfall. While she still liked Devi... and was VERY interested in Sati, she still didn't feel the innate desire to be considered a 'couple' with anyone. Hadn't she already tried that once, and it had failed miserably?
When had everything changed? She remembered being content... but now it seemed to long ago.
The water was cool still, and brought prickles to Omi's skin as she swam through the flowing pool towards the waterfall itself. If it had been a week or so earlier, it would have been too cold to do this, but now the water was just warm enough to do this without getting hypothermic. She knew she wouldn't be able to stay in long, but it was fine for now.
Tilting her head back into the waterfall, Omi let her eyes close as she continued to think. It wasn't that she WANTED to, but the thoughts just kept coming back.
Why WAS she like this? Why did she feel so mixed up inside when she thought about Devi or Sati? Why did it seem more natural to her to be with another woman than with a man? Sighing, she ducked her head completely under the waterfall, feeling the cool water coursing over her skin.
Maybe it IS because you were a man before.
Frowning, she shook herself free of the water, staring over the rippling pool towards the rock her clothes were still sitting on. They were some of Youko's old clothes... traditional Japanese, or as close to it as you could get here in Gaia... for men. Her body was most decidedly NOT feminine in the slightest, once you got past the fact that she was physically a girl. There were no curves, no voluptuous breasts, no shapely legs. Snorting softly, Omi brought up her hands and looked at the purple skin that covered her arms. "I take after dad," she muttered, turning her hands in the dappled sunlight. The dark spots around her wrists looked almost like bracelets... carry-overs from her father as well. It seemed that she got most of her appearance from him.
Pulling herself out of the water, she curled up to sit on the sun-warmed rock, not caring that she was without clothing still. It let her take a good long look at herself.
The same purple marks were on her feet and extended up towards her knees... and the same black spotting was wroung her ankles as well. Then there were the wings... also taken from her father. Nozomi was beginning to think that the only things she'd gotten from Kia were the black markings on her face and shoulder... and the bright green eyes.
As she wrapped her arms around folded knees, she stared down at her toes where they curled against the rock. There had to be something she was missing... something that she'd forgotten. SOMETHING was missing from her life, and she just wasn't certain what it was.
One thing she was convinced it wasn't, however, was a mate. Snorting faintly at the very thought, she kicked a loose stone into the water and watched it ripple across the surface to meet up with the waves from the waterfall. While she still liked Devi... and was VERY interested in Sati, she still didn't feel the innate desire to be considered a 'couple' with anyone. Hadn't she already tried that once, and it had failed miserably?
When had everything changed? She remembered being content... but now it seemed to long ago.
Youkochylde
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- Posted: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 22:29:43 +0000
Confusion - Part 1
It was all so strange now. Everything had changed, but so much had stayed the same. Omi found herself longing for the times when she didn't have to worry about all of this, and her biggest concern had been what to play that day. Snorting faintly, she lay on the rock, feeling the dappled sunlight playing over her skin. "Things were so much easier when I was a kid," she murmured, fingers twining through her own hair idly. "I didn't have to worry about why I like girls... or why I like boys. Or why I can't seem to figure out what the hell's wrong with me."
What if there's nothing wrong with you at all?
"There has to be," she whispered, chewing on her lower lip idly. "The thoughts I have, some of them don't feel like my own. I've been stalked by a ghost since I was a baby, I've been sucked into mirrors and just about any reflective surface, and wake up having grown. Meanwhile, to-san winds up scared to death because I was comatose the entire time."
That is not normal?
She looked upward, wishing she could SEE the voice in her head. "NO, it's not normal. Normal human beings don't have this crap to deal with."
Normal human beings also don't have purple skin, wings and black markings on their skin from birth.
She had to concede that point.
"I'm a Fa'e," she answered, shrugging softly to herself. That pretty much answered it all, in her mind.
But who are you, really?
Omi opened her mouth to answer, then closed it again with a look of confusion on her face. To be honest... she didn't know who she really was. There had been hints in the visions she'd seen ever since she was a child... but she found it hard to believe some of it. Still, the answers would likely be there, wouldn't they?
It was all so strange now. Everything had changed, but so much had stayed the same. Omi found herself longing for the times when she didn't have to worry about all of this, and her biggest concern had been what to play that day. Snorting faintly, she lay on the rock, feeling the dappled sunlight playing over her skin. "Things were so much easier when I was a kid," she murmured, fingers twining through her own hair idly. "I didn't have to worry about why I like girls... or why I like boys. Or why I can't seem to figure out what the hell's wrong with me."
What if there's nothing wrong with you at all?
"There has to be," she whispered, chewing on her lower lip idly. "The thoughts I have, some of them don't feel like my own. I've been stalked by a ghost since I was a baby, I've been sucked into mirrors and just about any reflective surface, and wake up having grown. Meanwhile, to-san winds up scared to death because I was comatose the entire time."
That is not normal?
She looked upward, wishing she could SEE the voice in her head. "NO, it's not normal. Normal human beings don't have this crap to deal with."
Normal human beings also don't have purple skin, wings and black markings on their skin from birth.
She had to concede that point.
"I'm a Fa'e," she answered, shrugging softly to herself. That pretty much answered it all, in her mind.
But who are you, really?
Omi opened her mouth to answer, then closed it again with a look of confusion on her face. To be honest... she didn't know who she really was. There had been hints in the visions she'd seen ever since she was a child... but she found it hard to believe some of it. Still, the answers would likely be there, wouldn't they?
Youkochylde
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- Posted: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 22:30:32 +0000
Confusion - Part 2
"I don't know who I am."
Omi was busy pacing back and forth in her room. It had been hours since she'd returned from the waterfall, and she found herself no father along the path to enlightenment than she was when all this started.
On the bed, sitting crosslegged amidst the blankets, was Raven, toying with the hem of her skirt idly. "Well, none of us really know who we are," she began, shrugging softly. "We're still kids, but we feel like adults. Being a teenager sucks." Bi-coloured eyes glanced up to Omi then, watching the girl's progress from one side of the room to the other. "According to Dad, there's no reason why we should be stressed, but I think that's just because he's too old to remember when he was a teenager. We've got a TON of stuff to worry about, and you've got more than most."
Pausing, Omi turned to lift a brow towards her 'sister'. "What do you mean?"
"Well, I know who my parents are. I know where I came from, what I am and what I'll likely be throughout my life." Raven tilted her head then, ticking off on her fingers. "You know who your parents are, but you're not really THEIRS, like most kids are... you're a Fa'e, which means you were someone else a long time ago, and in addition to all the NORMAL teen crap, you've got to muddle through that as well." Shrugging softly, she offered a faint smile. "I don't envy you. But I'll help where I can."
Omi sighed, moving to the window and crossing her arms over her chest as she stared out towards the trees. "All I know is that some creepy woman calls me her brother in my dreams. And I think I remember the names she used. They sounded Japanese."
"Dad's Japanese," Raven offered. "Well, half, anyway. Ba-san's a full kitsune, oji-san's human."
"Think maybe he'll have answers for me?" Omi sounded hopeful, at least. "Or maybe I should call ba-san."
"Worst that could happen is that you wind up as clueless as you are now." Raven smirked then, leaning back on her hands. "But you've got a bit to wait. Dad went over to Trio's place, he won't be back until late. Your best bet is to wait til tomorrow."
Omi began pacing again at that, snorting faintly. "I need to talk this over with someone or I'll go nuts... but I don't think you can help me." She stopped dead then, a smile spreading across her face. "I'll be back later!" With that, she darted for the stairs that led down out of the attic room.
"Wait!" Raven called, leaning over the bed. "Where are you going?"
"To see Riven!"
"I don't know who I am."
Omi was busy pacing back and forth in her room. It had been hours since she'd returned from the waterfall, and she found herself no father along the path to enlightenment than she was when all this started.
On the bed, sitting crosslegged amidst the blankets, was Raven, toying with the hem of her skirt idly. "Well, none of us really know who we are," she began, shrugging softly. "We're still kids, but we feel like adults. Being a teenager sucks." Bi-coloured eyes glanced up to Omi then, watching the girl's progress from one side of the room to the other. "According to Dad, there's no reason why we should be stressed, but I think that's just because he's too old to remember when he was a teenager. We've got a TON of stuff to worry about, and you've got more than most."
Pausing, Omi turned to lift a brow towards her 'sister'. "What do you mean?"
"Well, I know who my parents are. I know where I came from, what I am and what I'll likely be throughout my life." Raven tilted her head then, ticking off on her fingers. "You know who your parents are, but you're not really THEIRS, like most kids are... you're a Fa'e, which means you were someone else a long time ago, and in addition to all the NORMAL teen crap, you've got to muddle through that as well." Shrugging softly, she offered a faint smile. "I don't envy you. But I'll help where I can."
Omi sighed, moving to the window and crossing her arms over her chest as she stared out towards the trees. "All I know is that some creepy woman calls me her brother in my dreams. And I think I remember the names she used. They sounded Japanese."
"Dad's Japanese," Raven offered. "Well, half, anyway. Ba-san's a full kitsune, oji-san's human."
"Think maybe he'll have answers for me?" Omi sounded hopeful, at least. "Or maybe I should call ba-san."
"Worst that could happen is that you wind up as clueless as you are now." Raven smirked then, leaning back on her hands. "But you've got a bit to wait. Dad went over to Trio's place, he won't be back until late. Your best bet is to wait til tomorrow."
Omi began pacing again at that, snorting faintly. "I need to talk this over with someone or I'll go nuts... but I don't think you can help me." She stopped dead then, a smile spreading across her face. "I'll be back later!" With that, she darted for the stairs that led down out of the attic room.
"Wait!" Raven called, leaning over the bed. "Where are you going?"
"To see Riven!"
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- Posted: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 22:31:44 +0000
A Meeting with Riven
Omi had raced almost the entire way from her home to that of Riven, and was quite out of breath by the time she got there. It wasn't that she was out of shape... but that was one heck of a run! Leaning forward, she let her hands clasp against her knees as she leaned over, looking towards the familiar abode. It wouldn't do to show up and be a wreck... but she also knew that she had to get here before her nerve was shot and she went home without answers again.
This was something her father couldn't help her with, and neither could anyone else in her house because they just didn't know. They weren't what she was... but Riven had never steered her wrong and she knew he would give her good advice.
Even if it wasn't the advice she necessarily wanted to hear.
Once her breath had settled back to normal, she straightened up and inhaled deeply, then moved towards the door.
A pair of mechanical dragon-faces blinked at her simultaneously from the side window before twining in unison, making a quiet rattle of metal as they moved. "Someone isis at the door," Biome informed Riven, who had just tucked Airyn in for a nap.
"Oh? Who?" That was odd, they hadn't had visitors for a while.
"The girl, who journeyedjourneyed with you, far," Biome reported.
Riven paused in mid-air. "Not... Omi?!" Then he zipped down the hallway, surprising the Fandangle with his speed, and... didn't even bother opening the door, instead phasing straight through the wood. "Omi! It is you!"
How long had it been since he'd seen her? Not since that time... he didn't think. How had that happened?
Omi had been just about to knock on the door when Riven came through it and startled her nearly right back off into the grass. "Riven!?" She put her heart back into its chest where it belonged and moved towards him again. She started to hug him, and wound up hugging nothing but air... and chuckled a bit. She should have expected that. "It's good to see you," she said softly, bowing politely to him.
Now she felt guilty. It had been a long time since she'd been to see him and now it wasn't even a social call. It was for her own benefit and he didn't realise it yet. "You're looking well. Are Ghlyssa and Airyn here as well?"
She was at a loss at that point, and didn't quite know what to say.
"Ooops," Riven said, sheepishly, and re-solidified. "I'm doing okay... Glee's out visiting her Guardian. Airyn's sleeping inside, I think." He glanced through the window; half of Biome was curled up on the couch, now, which meant the other half was in Airyn's room, under her bed most likely. "I just put her to sleep for a nap. Whether she's actually sleeping or just drawing under the covers..." He shook his head, and grinned.
"What about you?" It was a little awkward. The last time she'd seen him, he'd been as broken as he could ever remember being, in this life, anyway. "I'm sorry it's been so long... too long..."
Now that he was solid, she moved to hug him tightly, her eyes slipping half closed. "It's been far too long. And I'm sorry, but I can't say that I came here just to be social. I should have... and I should have come out here before now. But I need some advice right now, and you're the only one I trust who can really understand what's happening to me."
She stepped back then, looking at him solemnly. Omi would completely understand if he got angry and told her to leave... but something told her that he wouldn't do such a thing, even if he WAS angry that she hadn't stopped by before now.
She made a mental note right then and there that she wouldn't do this again. She'd come to see him and Airyn and Ghlyssa... and she wouldn't stay away so long again, if she could help it. This time, she didn't even have an excuse, she'd simply let it slip her mind.
Riven returned the hug, then gave her a thoughtful look as she stepped back and spoke. "It's okay... it doesn't matter what brought you here. What matters is that you came, right?" He resisted the urge to ruffle her hair as he would have with Airyn; Omi wasn't a kid anymore. "What's going on?"
He drifted over to one of the trees in the 'yard' and coiled his tail to sit under it, then patted the grass next to him. He owed her this. And far, far more besides.
Sighing deeply, Omi moved to curl into the grass beside him, sidestepping the delicate flowers that seemed to sprout everywhere around their home. Folding her legs up in front of her, she wrapped her arms around her legs, chin resting on her knees. She wasn't even sure where to start, really. Everything had made so much sense in her head when she'd decided on this, but then it all seemed to slip away when faced with the person she most wanted to see.
She seemed to be collecting her thoughts, a frown crossing her face as she organized them into a coherent question. "When did you realise that you had to find out more about yourself?" she asked, turning to glance to him. "When you knew that you couldn't learn any more by just staying here?"
"Heh." Riven gave her a rueful smile. "When I was... your age, I guess. But the journey we went on, together... before then, I really thought I knew all there was to know. I was wrong. I'm probably still wrong." He glanced up at the sky, just visible through the shifting leaves above. "I know what I was, and I know what I am, and I have no idea what to do now other than continuing on... I guess I sort of miss not knowing, in a way. Knowing that I didn't know?" He made a face.
If it was confusing to him, it was doubly confusing to her. She rested her cheek on her knees, letting her hair fall into a pool in the grass as she curled forward. "See, I don't know any of that," she began, her gaze slipping to the side to watch a bee crawling its way along a patch of clover blooms.
"I don't know what I was... I mean, I have an idea, but all I know is what I've read in books. And it's confusing to me, because that person... is male. I didn't know that could happen with Fa'e, so maybe I'm wrong." Omi took a breath then, using that moment or two to try and explain.
"I don't even know what I am now, really. I don't know what it means to be Fa'e, or what I'm supposed to do from here. But I know that if I stay here, nothing will change."
"Male?" Riven tilted his head to one side. "Does that matter, much?" He didn't see how it would. It was only plumbing, wasn't it?
She blinked for a moment, then gave him the Look of Duh (TM) as Raven referred to it. "I'm a girl. And it's a bit disconcerting when I catch myself watching other girls walking down the street."
Granted, they never suspected a thing, generally, and she was pretty sure that if she did have the right 'plumbing' for it, they'd likely have a few choice words. "It's just confusing. I mean, my father's got a male partner, so it's not that strange of a concept to see same-gender interest. But it's the way it feels that's aggravating me."
It was difficult to describe emotion or intent, especially when you didn't really understand it yourself. "I mean, I'd understand if I liked only girls, or only boys, but I don't. And even though it feels okay for me to be with either, it still feels odd because it's like one half of me is interested, while the other isn't. The sides just switch depending on who I'm thinking about."
Omi stared at him again, confused by even her own statements and circular train of thought. "Does that make any sense?"
"Hmm... I guess? I don't really have any... experience, with that kind of thing specifically," Riven said, a little awkwardly. His Guardian had tried to teach him about sex and sexual attraction, but it had been just a curiosity, irrelevant to him on a personal level. "But feeling conflicted inside of yourself has to be difficult, no matter what the issue is. Right? Like... there's you-you, and then there's another you, and they're not the same?"
"YES!" She lit up at that, nodding as she sat up a bit straighter. "That's exactly it. It's like there's someone else and I don't know who they are or what they want... or even what they're doing. It's ME in here. I'm not schizophrenic as far as I know, but there's always that nagging feeling like something's not right."
He did understand! This had been a good idea, and Omi was very glad that she'd made the trip. She wasn't expecting Riven to have all the answers... but talking with someone who'd at least been through similar situations was comforting. "I get looked at like I'm crazy at home. Raven thinks I'm too stressed, To-san doesn't get it and says that it's just part of being Fa'e, but he can't give me any help."
The vivid green eyes fixed on Riven then, and she shifted slightly in the grass so that she was sitting, facing him. "I know I need to find out more about myself... and about who I was. But I don't know what to do. If I were just human, I'd say that I'm too young to go and find out. But as a Fa'e... should I go?"
"Of course you should go," Riven said, firmly. "I guess I sound kinda... old," he added, a bit sheepish, "but every Fa'e I've ever known, me included, has had to make a journey. I don't know why we can't just come back knowing everything. It'd be a lot easier." He wrinkled his nose. "But since we can't... we have to go, I think. Maybe it's how we're wired, like my Guardian would say."
Nozomi wasn't really certain what she'd been expecting. Maybe a bit more reluctance, or assurances that she would be fine. But when Riven said that she should go, a bit of a shiver ran up her spine. He was right, of course, and she would have to go. But somehow, when faced with it, it seemed a lot more daunting.
She took a deep breath, letting her eyes slip closed as she cleared her thoughts. "I need to go," she murmured, as if confirming it to herself. "It's the only way I'm going to learn anything else. But what if To-san won't let me?"
"Then... then you run," Riven said, a bit reluctantly. He knew it wasn't a good thing to be encouraging her to leave her family, but he had too many thoughts of what had happened when a Guardian's hold had been too tight. Fenyang. Sire... "You run, and when you come back, you apologize. And you don't even think about not coming back," he added, raising one eyebrow at her.
You run. That made Omi look away, and she started to gnaw at her lower lip. It was a habit she hadn't really displayed in a long while, and she hated it normally. Now, however, she didn't really seem to realise she was doing it. "I don't know if I can do that," she murmured, but inwardly she was warring with herself. She had to sort this out, and had to find out why these things were happening.
Part of her already knew that if it came down to it, she would run. She'd hate it, and she would likely feel guilty for a long time to come, but she would go. At this point, she didn't have a choice any longer. "Riven..." she began, a bit hesitantly. "If it comes down to that... will you explain it to To-san?"
"If I had to? Yes, I would. I wouldn't enjoy it, but I'd do it. For you," Riven said, after a moment. This time he did ruffle her hair, just a little bit. "But you have to do what feels right to you, inside. Maybe you don't need to go anywhere. Maybe it's all in your head, somewhere."
The gesture brought a smile to her face and she tilted her head towards him as her eyes crinkled just a bit. "Thanks," she murmured, leaning in a bit closer to hug him once more. "I don't know if it's right or wrong. But I think I need to go. I'd rather do it with To-san's blessing."
Omi knew, though, that if it came down to it, she'd go with or without it. "But I won't let it stop me if I don't get it."
The decision was made. And somehow, it made her feel better knowing that. Perhaps it was the uncertainty of everything that had been driving her to distraction, because now that she had confirmed what she needed to do, her mind calmed considerably. "Thank you... for all of this."
"Of course... just don't forget to come back. You promised, remember?" Riven grinned. "Not to your To-san, and not here, either."
"I won't forget," she whispered, watching him carefully. "And I'll be back. I promise."
She was going to cry, or at least she felt like it. Getting to her feet, Omi brushed herself off and turned to face him again. "You're a good friend, Riven. And I needed this. Thank you."
Omi had raced almost the entire way from her home to that of Riven, and was quite out of breath by the time she got there. It wasn't that she was out of shape... but that was one heck of a run! Leaning forward, she let her hands clasp against her knees as she leaned over, looking towards the familiar abode. It wouldn't do to show up and be a wreck... but she also knew that she had to get here before her nerve was shot and she went home without answers again.
This was something her father couldn't help her with, and neither could anyone else in her house because they just didn't know. They weren't what she was... but Riven had never steered her wrong and she knew he would give her good advice.
Even if it wasn't the advice she necessarily wanted to hear.
Once her breath had settled back to normal, she straightened up and inhaled deeply, then moved towards the door.
A pair of mechanical dragon-faces blinked at her simultaneously from the side window before twining in unison, making a quiet rattle of metal as they moved. "Someone isis at the door," Biome informed Riven, who had just tucked Airyn in for a nap.
"Oh? Who?" That was odd, they hadn't had visitors for a while.
"The girl, who journeyedjourneyed with you, far," Biome reported.
Riven paused in mid-air. "Not... Omi?!" Then he zipped down the hallway, surprising the Fandangle with his speed, and... didn't even bother opening the door, instead phasing straight through the wood. "Omi! It is you!"
How long had it been since he'd seen her? Not since that time... he didn't think. How had that happened?
Omi had been just about to knock on the door when Riven came through it and startled her nearly right back off into the grass. "Riven!?" She put her heart back into its chest where it belonged and moved towards him again. She started to hug him, and wound up hugging nothing but air... and chuckled a bit. She should have expected that. "It's good to see you," she said softly, bowing politely to him.
Now she felt guilty. It had been a long time since she'd been to see him and now it wasn't even a social call. It was for her own benefit and he didn't realise it yet. "You're looking well. Are Ghlyssa and Airyn here as well?"
She was at a loss at that point, and didn't quite know what to say.
"Ooops," Riven said, sheepishly, and re-solidified. "I'm doing okay... Glee's out visiting her Guardian. Airyn's sleeping inside, I think." He glanced through the window; half of Biome was curled up on the couch, now, which meant the other half was in Airyn's room, under her bed most likely. "I just put her to sleep for a nap. Whether she's actually sleeping or just drawing under the covers..." He shook his head, and grinned.
"What about you?" It was a little awkward. The last time she'd seen him, he'd been as broken as he could ever remember being, in this life, anyway. "I'm sorry it's been so long... too long..."
Now that he was solid, she moved to hug him tightly, her eyes slipping half closed. "It's been far too long. And I'm sorry, but I can't say that I came here just to be social. I should have... and I should have come out here before now. But I need some advice right now, and you're the only one I trust who can really understand what's happening to me."
She stepped back then, looking at him solemnly. Omi would completely understand if he got angry and told her to leave... but something told her that he wouldn't do such a thing, even if he WAS angry that she hadn't stopped by before now.
She made a mental note right then and there that she wouldn't do this again. She'd come to see him and Airyn and Ghlyssa... and she wouldn't stay away so long again, if she could help it. This time, she didn't even have an excuse, she'd simply let it slip her mind.
Riven returned the hug, then gave her a thoughtful look as she stepped back and spoke. "It's okay... it doesn't matter what brought you here. What matters is that you came, right?" He resisted the urge to ruffle her hair as he would have with Airyn; Omi wasn't a kid anymore. "What's going on?"
He drifted over to one of the trees in the 'yard' and coiled his tail to sit under it, then patted the grass next to him. He owed her this. And far, far more besides.
Sighing deeply, Omi moved to curl into the grass beside him, sidestepping the delicate flowers that seemed to sprout everywhere around their home. Folding her legs up in front of her, she wrapped her arms around her legs, chin resting on her knees. She wasn't even sure where to start, really. Everything had made so much sense in her head when she'd decided on this, but then it all seemed to slip away when faced with the person she most wanted to see.
She seemed to be collecting her thoughts, a frown crossing her face as she organized them into a coherent question. "When did you realise that you had to find out more about yourself?" she asked, turning to glance to him. "When you knew that you couldn't learn any more by just staying here?"
"Heh." Riven gave her a rueful smile. "When I was... your age, I guess. But the journey we went on, together... before then, I really thought I knew all there was to know. I was wrong. I'm probably still wrong." He glanced up at the sky, just visible through the shifting leaves above. "I know what I was, and I know what I am, and I have no idea what to do now other than continuing on... I guess I sort of miss not knowing, in a way. Knowing that I didn't know?" He made a face.
If it was confusing to him, it was doubly confusing to her. She rested her cheek on her knees, letting her hair fall into a pool in the grass as she curled forward. "See, I don't know any of that," she began, her gaze slipping to the side to watch a bee crawling its way along a patch of clover blooms.
"I don't know what I was... I mean, I have an idea, but all I know is what I've read in books. And it's confusing to me, because that person... is male. I didn't know that could happen with Fa'e, so maybe I'm wrong." Omi took a breath then, using that moment or two to try and explain.
"I don't even know what I am now, really. I don't know what it means to be Fa'e, or what I'm supposed to do from here. But I know that if I stay here, nothing will change."
"Male?" Riven tilted his head to one side. "Does that matter, much?" He didn't see how it would. It was only plumbing, wasn't it?
She blinked for a moment, then gave him the Look of Duh (TM) as Raven referred to it. "I'm a girl. And it's a bit disconcerting when I catch myself watching other girls walking down the street."
Granted, they never suspected a thing, generally, and she was pretty sure that if she did have the right 'plumbing' for it, they'd likely have a few choice words. "It's just confusing. I mean, my father's got a male partner, so it's not that strange of a concept to see same-gender interest. But it's the way it feels that's aggravating me."
It was difficult to describe emotion or intent, especially when you didn't really understand it yourself. "I mean, I'd understand if I liked only girls, or only boys, but I don't. And even though it feels okay for me to be with either, it still feels odd because it's like one half of me is interested, while the other isn't. The sides just switch depending on who I'm thinking about."
Omi stared at him again, confused by even her own statements and circular train of thought. "Does that make any sense?"
"Hmm... I guess? I don't really have any... experience, with that kind of thing specifically," Riven said, a little awkwardly. His Guardian had tried to teach him about sex and sexual attraction, but it had been just a curiosity, irrelevant to him on a personal level. "But feeling conflicted inside of yourself has to be difficult, no matter what the issue is. Right? Like... there's you-you, and then there's another you, and they're not the same?"
"YES!" She lit up at that, nodding as she sat up a bit straighter. "That's exactly it. It's like there's someone else and I don't know who they are or what they want... or even what they're doing. It's ME in here. I'm not schizophrenic as far as I know, but there's always that nagging feeling like something's not right."
He did understand! This had been a good idea, and Omi was very glad that she'd made the trip. She wasn't expecting Riven to have all the answers... but talking with someone who'd at least been through similar situations was comforting. "I get looked at like I'm crazy at home. Raven thinks I'm too stressed, To-san doesn't get it and says that it's just part of being Fa'e, but he can't give me any help."
The vivid green eyes fixed on Riven then, and she shifted slightly in the grass so that she was sitting, facing him. "I know I need to find out more about myself... and about who I was. But I don't know what to do. If I were just human, I'd say that I'm too young to go and find out. But as a Fa'e... should I go?"
"Of course you should go," Riven said, firmly. "I guess I sound kinda... old," he added, a bit sheepish, "but every Fa'e I've ever known, me included, has had to make a journey. I don't know why we can't just come back knowing everything. It'd be a lot easier." He wrinkled his nose. "But since we can't... we have to go, I think. Maybe it's how we're wired, like my Guardian would say."
Nozomi wasn't really certain what she'd been expecting. Maybe a bit more reluctance, or assurances that she would be fine. But when Riven said that she should go, a bit of a shiver ran up her spine. He was right, of course, and she would have to go. But somehow, when faced with it, it seemed a lot more daunting.
She took a deep breath, letting her eyes slip closed as she cleared her thoughts. "I need to go," she murmured, as if confirming it to herself. "It's the only way I'm going to learn anything else. But what if To-san won't let me?"
"Then... then you run," Riven said, a bit reluctantly. He knew it wasn't a good thing to be encouraging her to leave her family, but he had too many thoughts of what had happened when a Guardian's hold had been too tight. Fenyang. Sire... "You run, and when you come back, you apologize. And you don't even think about not coming back," he added, raising one eyebrow at her.
You run. That made Omi look away, and she started to gnaw at her lower lip. It was a habit she hadn't really displayed in a long while, and she hated it normally. Now, however, she didn't really seem to realise she was doing it. "I don't know if I can do that," she murmured, but inwardly she was warring with herself. She had to sort this out, and had to find out why these things were happening.
Part of her already knew that if it came down to it, she would run. She'd hate it, and she would likely feel guilty for a long time to come, but she would go. At this point, she didn't have a choice any longer. "Riven..." she began, a bit hesitantly. "If it comes down to that... will you explain it to To-san?"
"If I had to? Yes, I would. I wouldn't enjoy it, but I'd do it. For you," Riven said, after a moment. This time he did ruffle her hair, just a little bit. "But you have to do what feels right to you, inside. Maybe you don't need to go anywhere. Maybe it's all in your head, somewhere."
The gesture brought a smile to her face and she tilted her head towards him as her eyes crinkled just a bit. "Thanks," she murmured, leaning in a bit closer to hug him once more. "I don't know if it's right or wrong. But I think I need to go. I'd rather do it with To-san's blessing."
Omi knew, though, that if it came down to it, she'd go with or without it. "But I won't let it stop me if I don't get it."
The decision was made. And somehow, it made her feel better knowing that. Perhaps it was the uncertainty of everything that had been driving her to distraction, because now that she had confirmed what she needed to do, her mind calmed considerably. "Thank you... for all of this."
"Of course... just don't forget to come back. You promised, remember?" Riven grinned. "Not to your To-san, and not here, either."
"I won't forget," she whispered, watching him carefully. "And I'll be back. I promise."
She was going to cry, or at least she felt like it. Getting to her feet, Omi brushed herself off and turned to face him again. "You're a good friend, Riven. And I needed this. Thank you."
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((Reserved - The walk home))
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((Reserved - Talking with Youko))
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