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Desperation
Week of Sloth
midnight_medea Five thousand three hundred and fifty five.
Counting steps was the only thing Cosine could do to keep herself focused, her mind and body just wanted to sleep. There was a weight crushing down on her that made even the smallest step like running a marathon. What was the point if there was no reason to move.
Motivation was non existant.
"There's no point." She muttered, flopping down to the floor by what had once been a fountain. Now it was an ash filled stone tub, even the moss had withered and died leaving the stone stained black.
The large black bird circled and swooped down to land on the stone of the fountain. If anyone had been watching them they would have seen the bird shoot the goddess a distincly motherly glare.
"No, I mean, whose to say there's even a Pantheon there." She muttered, shifting to sit cross legged and not caring that she looked a total mess. The simple dress she wore covered in black as well as her face and hands. "And what use am I going to be? No, I'm staying right here until it's all over."
The goddess stiffled a yawn and made to swat at Infinity as she attempted to peck her into action.
Zero Dream Adrian still had little to no damn idea of what happened. Some part of him was still under shock, but on the flipside, he had no will to do much of anything beside b***h and moan.
Maybe, if there were no gods, none of this s**t would have happened. He half-expected this to get him a mental lashing, but Ankou did not react. Hm. Well, good thing.
Yet he had simply had to get out of that wretched place, in despite wanting to do nothing more than lie down and waste away. No matter what happened, he would die - this was a complete lose/lose situation no matter how he wanted to look at it. Either he would be lost, replaced, as if he had never existed, or just waste away, decaying as the world did. It was easy to see for his bitter mind, even now.
The half-flayed, cocooned thing that had given him enough motivation to hightail it out of the pantheon in blind panic was also quite a good hint. What was left to discern had looked too much like Destruction to mean anything good.
He had eventually stopped running, the adrenaline worn off and the apathy returning, and perched on top of the fountain. What was left of the small dome topping it seemed to be steady enough to support him, and if he didn't.... hell, he already looked like a mummy, with both his arms bandaged up - one clawed down and the other frostbitten. Some more battle wounds would meant nothing much at this point.
He'd seen Cosine sit sometime ago, and watched her. She wasn't half-bad, really - tiny and cute. Good things in small packages. Kinda dirty, but hey, what the hell wasn't covered in some kind of gunk right now ? She was clearly talking to the bird, it seemed, which was somewhat amusing. Not much, just a little.
His yellow gaze broke off from her when he noticed a black shape in the corner of his vision. There was a crow there, too. A lone one. They no longer flocked to him. There probably wasn't enough left to flock. Just when he had started to like the little featherbutts, too. He rose one arm and let out a low whistle, not even bothering to wince as the crow's talons sunk through the bandages and straight into his frostbitten arm, cawing a bit.
"Yeah, I know." Of course, he had no idea what the thing was going on about. One finger started to ruffle it's chest feathers. "We're all ********]
midnight_medea "I said no Fin, and really, since when were you one to comment. Where the hell were you whilst I was being abused by my host?" She rolled her eyes and folded her arms, leaning forwards so her elbows touched her knees.
The low whistle made its way to her ears though she did not look up. That would have taken effort. Sure, it could be danger but there was no real point in fighting was there? She shifted and leaned her back against the stone of the fountain, giving a snort of laughter at the male voice.
"********?" She said to whoever it was. That word felt strange on her lips, adopted from her host maybe. The Cosine of before would never have uttered such a vulgar word. Just the thought of it. "We were ******** when Destruction appeared, we're so far beyond ******** it hurts."
There was some kind of power with this voice. Faint but there, she watched Infinity take off and followed her with her eyes until they met the someone perched above her.
"It can't be comfortable up there." She said as she watched Infinity circle him.
Zero ******** with a 10 foot long baseball bat, then. Any better ?" He glanced down at her, idly. Not bad, clearly. Some gorgeous eyes on that little lady. And an attitude he could agree with.
"So ?" He shrugged. "No reason to come down. No matter where ill'd be, the clock will keep ticking out."[/color][/quote]
[quote="midnight_medea "Only 10 foot?" She smirked a little and pulled her knees up to hug them, her chin resting up top. Infinity swooped her again and she ignored it of course. Couldn't the stupid ball of feathers take a hint.
She thought a moment and realised he had not questioned her like the others she had met. He knew what was going on.
"You're a host?" She asked, letting go of her knees and tilting her head back so she could look up at him. "Or at least you know who Destruction is."
Zero Dream "Hm-m. You could say mine is 20 foot long instead of 10, then." Caution was thrown in the wind. Why should it matter, then ? What could she do to him that was worse than this ?
"And where do you fit in all this, then ?" The crow that had taken refuge on his arm had quited down, and instead watched Infinity closely. Kin.. So little kin left, now, and their lord was all but silent.
Of course, this was a pointless question. Those wings, those gorgeous eyes, all those features and the low sense of power practically screamed reborn deity - but he wanted to hear her say it. She had a very pleasant voice.
midnight_medea Another snort of laughter at his innuendo. She rolled her eyes a little, males. Just like bloody Ishum and his messing around with her host. What was worse she had actually fallen for it. Not Cosine, though. Oh no. She was better than that s**t.
"You wish, though gods only know why."
She sat back up, bending your neck back was rather painful.
"Into all this? I have no idea, I don't even know what on earth is going on. Just that it is bad and Infinity here seems desperate for me to get to the Pantheon." She shook her head and sighed. "I am Cosine by the way. Goddess of numbers, what a joke."
Zero Dream "Honestly. Got no idea why you would wanna go there. That cocoon thing is freaking me the hell out." He muttered. "No matter what happens, im a dead man, anyway."
Well, gods did have a realm of everything, it seemed, no matter how abstract. "Cosine, hm. My name's Adrian, and while I could say I used to be something..." The pyromancer shrugged. "Doesn't feel like much anymore."
He flopped down, closer to her, peering down as he still held the crow. "Everything's dying so much faster than it used to. Ill'd like a time machine to go kick myself everytime I said that s**t couldn't get any worse, but that ain't gonna change anything anymore."
midnight_medea "Cacoon thing?" She asked, glancing up at him. her eyes followed him as he flopped down closer. Interesting, she thought randomly to herself as she noticed the crow. Infinity was still pretending to be productive.
She nodded and looked around, everything was dying ... even them.
"Echo said that something was wrong with Harmodius. I was trying to get back to her but I got lost ... and, well there doesn't seem like a point any more. What can I do? Provide the end of the world count down?"
Zero Dream "Yeah. Destruction almost flayed open and cocooned up." He gave a shudder. "......If you do go there, don't go in the throne room. Not a pretty sight. I think ill'd have lost my lunch if I had one."
He suddenly perked a little. "s**t, you're not serious ?" Echo want THERE ? "If anything's happened to her, Ankou's gonna flay me open." He hadn't seen a thing. Hadn't seen a damn thing, in his rush of panic to leave.
"To be completely, utterly and bitchingly honest... I don't care much. No matter what happens, im dead. Whatever comes quickest sounds good to me right now. Im sick of dealing with this s**t."
There was silence, but then, another voice - different, foreign, less bitter. "I remember you. I remember you and my brother, recording the dead. The how, when, their mindset... It was always useful when one tried to escape. Would have been so useful, to gather them all again. But will there even be an Underworld anymore to pull them back into ?"
Would there even be a world, soon ?
midnight_medea Cosine gave him a look.
"I do not joke ... or I did not joke." She shrugged, it was strange, to be herself once more but not at the same time.
Ankou ... there was familiarity in that name. She glanced to the crow on his arm and smiled a little. Someone who understood a good bird for a companion.
"I am sure there are plenty there to protect her." Echo would never have trouble there.
The new voice ... the god. She turned to face him, out of respect and found more familiarity in her mind.
Counting dead, brother, underworld. Nergal. he had mentioned a brother.
"You are Nergal's brother?" She asked with a broad smile. "There are so many dead." She reached for her notebook, almost full of scribbling. "I have been keeping count, but numbers are all I know. The Death Toll." She sighed and nodded. "I hope our fears are not realised."
Zero Dream The lady is right... Echo would not have gone alone. She will be fine. But yet, he did not mention going after her. Or after Nergal. While less obvious than his host, it was also obvious that something was also wrong with Ankou.
Adrian felt some control slip away from him, but did not seem to care. This puzzled the god for a moment, as their shared face softened a bit. "Yes. ....I dare not ask how many. I cannot see them, or hear them, not yet... ...This might just be a blessing."
I cannot do a thing for them. I cannot do a thing for even my kin, let alone mortals. Useless. Useless
"It felt horrible." Adrian whinnied. "Like thousand needles piercing my skin, like my inside exploding like a bomb. Yeah, I can believe you that some probably died from... Whatever the s**t that was."
midnight_medea Infinity, realising that they were going nowhere swooped down and landed on her mistress's shoulder. She watched the young man seemingly deciding whether to trust him. There was something familiar with his power and her kin on her arm, yet something that made her protective.
Cosine winced as the bird landed on her shoulder and reached up to run her fingers over the smooth black feathers. It amused her, the sensible voice emerging from the rather wild host. Much as she had been.
"A blessing." She nodded, not sure she would want to be bothered by the dead either at a time like this." Adrian began to moan and the calming tones of the god disappeared. "yes, it was terrible. I felt as though I was fading over again." She murmured and flipped her notes to a blank page so she could scribble some more numbers.
"I am sorry Lord Ankou, I do not remember you. It seems I knew few and those I did I did not know well. Are you much like your brother?" The goddess slipped the pencil she carried behind her ear and flipped the notepad shut. "I feel we could be doing something more productive than sitting and waiting for death." She laughed. "Maybe we should make a list. Things to do before you die."
Zero Dream There was a low laugh - not mocking, but seeming oddly warm, keeping in mind his relations and how the god usually carried himself. Almost like it was too much effort to keep up his distance for once. "I fear neither my host nor I are skilled at following lists to the letter, dear lady. We always are putting in our little grain of salt..."
There was a pause, for a moment. What kind of question was that ? But more importantly, he wasn't quite sure how to answer it. Of his current actions... which was truly him, and what was what he thought should be him ?
"Similar in some ways, radically different in others, I suppose. Memories are few and far in between - it is rather hard to judge from this alone." They had met but once, in this new life. When he was still too weak to do much of anything, unable to even talk without.... help.
The expression the body held while the god spoke was oddly inquisitive, but it took a bit before the question came. "But if you make a list.... And then, in the end, one can't do everything they wanted to do... Won't that just remind you of what you didn't manage to do ? Create more regrets ? I've promised myself I wouldn't add more regrets. I will have enough when the time come."
midnight_medea Cosine looked down at her closed note book and smiled a little. A pinch of salt ... wasn't that what she was supposed to be doing.
Live
Her host's words echoed around her mind for a few moments and caused a small smile to grace her lips.
"Maybe that should be a pinch of spice? Salt is so bland." A sigh of frustration left her lips. This was all so unlike her. There were always things to be done, always.
"Regrets?" She smiled, looking to the host. "Mine had many too, though ... I think she learned that they are not important. You cannot go back and change things so it is better to move on." She shrugged a little. "And the list is just for fun. Nothing written in stone and witnessed by a judge."
Zero Dream There was another low chuckle. "Yes.... You would be right. Spice, then. Just a bit of randomness to keep things interesting."
How many headaches he must gave given her... if they had ever worked together in the past, that is. There was no way to tell, no way to remember.
One eyebrow rose in curiosity. It did look like it would amuse her... Her, it probably came with the territory. "Yeah, well.... What do you think I should do before I die, then ?"
Hey, she wasn't scary, or a complete b***h. He liked her enough so far.
midnight_medea Now it was her turn to laugh a little. What a funny pair. She thought with a smile. Though it seemed there was something more to the god within. He sounded calm like Nergal, his voice smooth and even. Though, there was something a little more ... well, colourful about him. Spice? A death god who knew what fun was ... not that she was an expert in that realm.
"Me, tell you?" The smile turned to a smirk. "I am not you, I cannot make that decision. What do you want to do? I, personally would like to die with a smile. I think smiles are a new thing to me." She shrugged. "Or, maybe ...maybe I would like to not give up so easily." Her smirk faded. "I think I should like to be less pathetic and helpless."
Zero Dream A frown drew itself on their shared face, but to which did it truly belong ? There was no way to tell.
"You're not pathetic." The host spoke first, however. "Honestly. Not much of the world around us would exist if it wasn't for you, wouldn't it ? If we didn't have a mean to count things, list things, keep records of what surround us ?"
He paused for a moment. ".......Dying with a smile... doesn't sound like a bad idea. I want to kiss her once last time, just before. Kiss her goodbye." He sighed.
midnight_medea Cosine smiled and looked up at him. That meant a lot to her. She was sure most of the other gods thought she was some kind of joke. Though it was true, there were few influences the realms of numbers did not touch in some way.
"Thank you." She said softly picking at the fabric of the silly dress she was wearing.
Cosine listened to him and looked up.It was hard for her to imagine something so soft coming from one who had been so hard when he had made himself known. Though Lien used to surprise her in that way too. The way she took such pleasure in simple things.
"A kiss before dying. That sounds nice too." She said softly. "Her? ... is this your regret?"
Zero Dream "Part of it. One of many. She's... my everything. My fiancé." The pyromancer sighed. "It's.... very complicated. She was murdered, with my parents. That's how this whole mess started. I didn't want to live anymore. Maybe that's why Ankou chose me..."
There was no confirmation or denial from the god within. Just as he had expected.
"I am not quite sure exactly what happened to my parents... but Lyra followed me. She couldn't let me go. And, the first deity I met - Shadow - well, she wanted to make me a gift, but something happened and Lyra took the place of whatever was supposed to be the shadow creature's soul, I guess. So she's reborn of sort, and now im the one that's dying. Leaving her behind."
Shadow. He hadn't seen her since he left. Maybe she didn't care anymore, now that she could not keep him as a follower. Maybe.
midnight_medea Okay, that was incredibly sweet. His everything. When people put it like that it made it seem that she had most definitely been missing something. Cosine sat and listened as he spoke, saying nothing, just listened.
What could she say to that?
"I ... I do not know such feelings. Nor do I know loss like that. But, I know those who do and maybe you are not leaving her behind as such. Maybe you gave her a new life. That's a pretty powerful thing."
She smiled a little and breathed deeply.
"You got to love each other for a time ... I think that is better than nothing at all."
Zero Dream "Yeah, I guess it's better than knowing her to just be a roaming spirit.... you know ? Ankou's promised me he would watch over her, but... ...Ill'd rather be here, you know ? Be here with her. I can't imagine how hard it is for her to watch all this happen."
And yet, he was there, bitching about it like he was the only party that mattered. He felt like such an a*****e.
midnight_medea Cosine nodded and looked down at her hands for a moment. God she was a mess. Ah well, if the gods were dying there would be no one to look good for on the other side.
"My ... my host, she had something with someone before I changed. Not love, though maybe it could have been. I think more, understanding and friendship. She showed me what it is to feel tenderness I suppose, though ... still i was just a witness." She paused, realising she was babbling and being very vague. "Anyway. I'm nervous to face him, heh, all of them even. Nergal, my hosts friends. I think ... She will be sad maybe, but ... those strong feelings only make people stronger."
Zero Dream "Losing someone you care about is never easy.... But I think they'll understand. Especially if they knew it would happen before. Even if they react badly.... it is possible that most of that reaction might come from grief and then things will be fine later."
The redhead shifted, letting the crow fly off as he landed on the ground not far from the goddess, eventually sitting near her.
"When I lost Lyra, and my parents... I was angry, bitter. I didn't want to live anymore. Kind of how I feel now, I guess.... Only I think that was even worse. They were killed by a gang of thieves while I was gone looking for work. When I came home, it was too late, they were all dead and I had nothing left... beside this."
He looped something out of his belt, a ornamental mace adorned with feathers. "But even that isn't really mine.... It's Ankou's. It took me a while to figure it out."
midnight_medea Cos watched him as he moved to sit near her and looked downat the ash covered floor. Humanity amazed her, it could be such a beautiful thing ... yet also so cruel and destructive.
"I am sorry." She said, giving a warm smile and looking up at him. "I know that is not helpful and I wish I were some goddess of time or fate, so I could make things better for you. But ... would that really solve anything?"
The goddess smiled and watched as he produced the ornamental mace. His god's.
"My host had nothing too. She was a ... she was a prostitute. Sold into the trade, abused to hell and back by so many. She had this." She touched a serpantine pendant that hung at her neck. "You have memories though. And, about dying ... you are giving your life to one who might be able to make a difference. You could just as easily step outside of your door and be hit by a car." She shrugged. "At least this way you are giving life to someone. Well, providing we're not all ******** by a 20 ft baseball bat." She added with a side glance and a cheeky smirk.
Zero Dream "Yeah, I guess...." At her last sentence, he couldn't help himself - he laughed.
"Well, I guess that'll be for you guys to make it happen, hm ?"
midnight_medea Cosine smiled as he laughed. She wondered if she was able to make people laugh before. Probably not unless they were laughing at her.
"Us guys?" She laughed, giving him a look. "You think you are exempt from all this do you?"
Her mind seemed to be moving again, not fast but the fuzz was definitely lifting.
"No, you, me and the other useless gods have to sit back knowing we are useless whilst the big powerful ones gloat in knowing they can do something." She rolled her eyes, unaware of the bitterness colouring her voice.
"And you know, why are we sitting around here like morons. Sure we might not be all high and mighty and helpful, but we could go back to the house and die somewhere with food and sofas."
Zero Dream Jeez, moodswing much ? At least she could pretend to be useful in all this...
Thankfully, Adrian had enough self-preservation to shut up on that aspect. "We should probably get going, at any rate." If the goddess followed the upward glance he had taken, she too would notice the rather mean-looking clouds that were starting to gather. "I don't especially want to stick around to see how acidic the rain must be now...."
midnight_medea Cosine nodded in agreement and looked up at the skies. His comment made her smirk a little.
"I suppose melting to death would not be a good way to go." She said softly, trying to lighten the mood again. Her outburst had been quite unlike her. It seemed they were all falling apart. Maybe a subject change.
"My host was a good cook. I wonder if I can cook you up some of her dishes when we get there. Or at least some coffee and muffins."
Zero Dream "Too painful for my liking, really." He shrugged a bit, got himself on his feet, fighting the urge to just stay right there, consequence be damned. His dislike of rain was enough to help on that regard, it seemed.
"That wouldn't be so bad, if you'lld like. Beside grilling I am not exactly good at cooking." But hey, he was his own portable grill ! That always impressed the ladies.... or at least it did, what felt like eons ago, before everything went wrong. He extended his hand for her to take if she wanted.
midnight_medea Infinity took off for the skies and Cosine reached out to slip her hand into Adrian's. So he was a gentleman after all. From first glances and words she would not have thought so. Using his weight to pull herself up from where she had been comfortable on the floor.
"Maybe a shower too. If the water still works." She muttered as she looked down at the state she was in. "You grill? I don't think there is one at the house though, and meat is hard to come by." She shrugged and smirked a little. "Unless your partial to cat ... though I think you would have an angry Aoide on your hands if we tried that."
Zero Dream "Correction." He had a smirk on his face, as he made sure the goddess was stable on her feet before withdrawing. "Two catgirls out to make steaks out of me, I daresay. As I am neither tasty or nutritious, and rather prefer my body parts where they belong, I fear we might have to pass on that." He laughed a bit.
"Heck, it's been so long, I doubt I could do anything better than a rubber sole by now."
midnight_medea "Catgirls?" She asked with a small smirk,wait she had met a catgirl one, a vague memory from her host. "Ah, well I was talking about animal cats." She smiled and shrugged.
"Come on then. Really don't want to get caught in this rain."
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