Tarantellatears
Haha. Well, you're better off than me--even if you do attract creepy redneck playboys. I've never had a single person ask me out on a date. Not a single person has ever been attracted to me, as far as I know. I have the sex appeal of a rock. ._.
*sigh*
Sometimes, I think this is a good thing, though. I avoid the creepy people, I can worry about being myself and not about looking stunning every minute of every day, and I can be as nerdy as I want. And hopefully someday someone will approve of the person I've made myself into.
In the meantime though, it's a bit lonely, I'll admit.
Oh, 'Tears, looks like we're sitting on the same rock. What are relationships? How do they work? What is this "talking to people to build emotional bonds" thing I keep hearing people talk about? Honestly, I'm not too sure that there
haven't been people who have found me, um... appealing... but I'm just way to clumsy and socially awkward to get how interaction with other people is supposed to work ^_^;;
Clumsy and socially awkward in the, "sit with her back plastered in a corner as far as possible, sitting haphazardly, and watching everyone suspiciously" or "actually has an interest in getting to know someone she has taken a shining to, but can
literally not move her legs to walk right in their presence or make her tongue form words right" or, y'know, "is too shy to even put herself in a situation where she would have to form intelligible words, and when she is put into one resorts to awkward silence because her brain goes numb"... why am I even saying any of this? ^_^;;
Heh, my parents don't know it, but one of the reasons I dropped out of public Highschool was because I couldn't function around other people. My muscles get all locked up and I get tunnel vision and I resort to drawing on any paper near me to ignore all of the voices and movements of people that I feel like I have to keep tabs on because I just don't know how to act with other people around me.
It's almost 4AM, so I don't even know where I was going with this... but I guess that I know there have been people who have... liked me... but y'know what is worse than thinking no one does? Knowing there are people who have, but also having to live with the fact that you have always been too awkward and stiff to let things play out. That you are the master of your own loneliness. Yep, life's a card under that roof.
I'll stop this pointlessly self-pittying post now and reply to other peoples posts
sorry
I'm sorry... I think I can understand that feeling of wanting to just it in a corner and sob and scream and feel your sanity break into little bits. Maybe you could take some time and just go outside, to a secluded park or something? Where everything is quiet, and there is no work, and no people? Just you and, um... the kind of scenery there is wherever you're at? It's good for thinking and relaxing, being by yourself where there is nothing to distract you from yourself.
Tarantellatears
Awwwwwwwww. That's adorable. ^__^ Go you for not lusting!
. . . I think I'm just attracted to about anything that moves right now. I think I need a boyfriend. Or something.
Why am I requoting you instead of tacking onto my stupid self-pitying sob reply? I don't know. Anyways, it's not exactly "not lusting"... you only lust over things that are particularly appealing right? The buff-cardboard-cutout-model-guy just isn't to me at all! XD
So while "not lusting" is true, there was never any chance of the "lusting" in the first place
Also, just because you find people attractive doesn't mean you need a boyfriend. or something. I'm not expert on relationships (ought to be obvious) but I'm pretty damn sure things entered with that mind set are sure to be fruitless, a waste of time, and regrettable.
And you're not being awkward~ you're being human