[ Poll ] Anyone else can't stand Twilight? v.4

What are you: anti? neutral? fan?

An anti		49.8%	[ 972 ]
Neutral		25.3%	[ 493 ]
A fan		12.1%	[ 237 ]
EDWARD'S SO HAWT!!!1!1apple		5.5%	[ 108 ]
Poll whore~		7.3%	[ 142 ]

Total Votes: 1952

[Animus Inanis]

Karutan Koremanu

Lucy the Vampire

Same! I love Wikipedia. blaugh The way to find a vamp grave involved a virgin boy and a virgin white (or black) horse. neutral

Oooh! My signature! /claps with glee

Oh good! If you're contagious, hopefully the rest of our intelligence will be as well (especially with the new movie coming out soon...).

[RainbowArchCielo]

Hmm, something has been bothering me lately, especially with the thing they call New Moon coming out.
I personally have never read Twilight{Couldn't put myself through the mental anguish, seriously}.
I had heard about it, decided to look at it in a book store. Read the first sentence, than wanted to vomit and cry for the loss of good literature.
Is this what it's come down to?
Though, unlike Meyer, I did a lot of research, reading about the damn book that is a monstrosity. I even have gone through about 100 pages of the discussion thread{and my brain still works, lol}.

Here are some things I've seen that haven't been touched on{That I know, not going though 1,000+ pages}.
In BD, apparently the baby kicks after two weeks? What, what? Considering nothing really forms until the second trimester, I think I missed something here. Mutant baby that grows crazy quick but still is in the womb for nine months? I'll let you be the judge.
Another thing: Why was Meyer making MS? If we already had Twilight, why did we need a rewrite of it in Edward's perspective? Meyer trying to rape the fans of all their money, lol, what? Haven't we seen this before? Hmmz.
Then, I started thinking. It's dangerous when I think, but I started to notice something. Some of the ideals in NM remind me of The Hunchback of Notre Dame{Well, the Disney one}? Maybe I'm completely off base here, and it's not an exact but...
The thing with Bella and Jacob. Cause I know Edward leaves her in a forest{Because she is sooo much more safer in a forest than in the city around where he lives. Nope, no BEARS in the forest, of course not}. Cause in the movie, the main dude, Quasimodo helped the Esmeralda and saves her and all. And like, you would think they would get together besides he was ugly as sin, considering he fights the priest dude who is obsessed with her, yet she goes with Captain Phoebus, even though he did all that stuff for her, and the dude did like nothing. Jacob and Bella, what? xD; I mean, of course at least that had the epic fight scene we were all waiting for with a lot of allusions, and they didn't have a crazy priest trying to kill them, but...
Like I said, could be over thinking it all, considering Jacob is more of a 'monster' than Edward and all.
Could be off base here...
Discuss! D<

[Sylph]

Rainbow: I remember reading somewhere that Bella's pregnancy only lasted one month? rofl

[Makoto Tsuru]

Sylph

Rainbow: I remember reading somewhere that Bella's pregnancy only lasted one month? rofl

Even though, Meyer had kids herself...She can't write pregnancy for s**t because the next morning after Ed 'n' Bells get it on, Bella is pregnant in under a night. Then somehow the baby accelerates at break neck speed in the womb so that's why the pregnancy was so short.

[Reniefuwa]

Makothecrane34

Sylph

Rainbow: I remember reading somewhere that Bella's pregnancy only lasted one month? rofl

Even though, Meyer had kids herself...She can't write pregnancy for s**t because the next morning after Ed 'n' Bells get it on, Bella is pregnant in under a night. Then somehow the baby accelerates at break neck speed in the womb so that's why the pregnancy was so short.

Everything about that baby was so fail-tastic, we need a stronger adjective for it.

[RainbowArchCielo]

xD I was only giving you something new to discuss, because I'm sure you've been through it all. xD;;;
I never read the books, I'm not a masochist, and I do enjoy my brain in one piece.

@ Sylph: Might have, I read someone complaining about it, so I thought I'd bring it up for fun. Also, if it only lasted a month, that must have been the worst month of her life. Could you imagine how much Bella would have to eat to keep up with the growth of a baby in one month? She would have to be as big as a whale and then some to even be able to feed it{Not that it doesn't eat her from the inside or something, even though it's half human(lol, what?)}.

Does this make sense to anyone else for that matter?

Nevermind, it was epic fail. xD;

[PrimidZelda]

Again, on the topic of Bella's baby...

----------------------------------------------------
From a forum on "Twilight Lexicon" "Who wouldn't want to be Bella moments"

Hmmm... I'm thinking the birthing of Loch Ness. Who wouldn't have wanted to be Bella then?
------------------------------------------------------

Oh, um, wow, that's nice, but doesn't Bella almost like, die? And her sexy husband bites her, (agonizing, I hear) Then she GIVES BIRTH to "Reneesmee" (that kid must've needed therapy)
Good for you.... heh

[Animus Inanis]

Lucy the Vampire

Again, on the topic of Bella's baby...

----------------------------------------------------
From a forum on "Twilight Lexicon" "Who wouldn't want to be Bella moments"

Hmmm... I'm thinking the birthing of Loch Ness. Who wouldn't have wanted to be Bella then?
------------------------------------------------------

Oh, um, wow, that's nice, but doesn't Bella almost like, die? And her sexy husband bites her, (agonizing, I hear) Then she GIVES BIRTH to "Reneesmee" (that kid must've needed therapy)
Good for you.... heh

If I remember correctly, Edbob had to chew demon baby (that's an insult to my kid sister's nickname...I should change that...) out of the womb. Oh yes, of course that's exactly what every woman wants to go through. At least during a C-Section you're put under!

I still don't know how DEAD SEMEN can join with an egg cell of a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SPECIES and still produce offspring...I just...can't see it. Sperm needs to be kept at a certain temperature, and if Edbob's as icy cold as Bella says (and for about 90 years, at that!) then wouldn't his sperm just be dead sparkly reproductive cells?

[anhkat497]

Animus Inanis

Lucy the Vampire

Again, on the topic of Bella's baby...

----------------------------------------------------
From a forum on "Twilight Lexicon" "Who wouldn't want to be Bella moments"

Hmmm... I'm thinking the birthing of Loch Ness. Who wouldn't have wanted to be Bella then?
------------------------------------------------------

Oh, um, wow, that's nice, but doesn't Bella almost like, die? And her sexy husband bites her, (agonizing, I hear) Then she GIVES BIRTH to "Reneesmee" (that kid must've needed therapy)
Good for you.... heh

If I remember correctly, Edbob had to chew demon baby (that's an insult to my kid sister's nickname...I should change that...) out of the womb. Oh yes, of course that's exactly what every woman wants to go through. At least during a C-Section you're put under!

I still don't know how DEAD SEMEN can join with an egg cell of a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SPECIES and still produce offspring...I just...can't see it. Sperm needs to be kept at a certain temperature, and if Edbob's as icy cold as Bella says (and for about 90 years, at that!) then wouldn't his sperm just be dead sparkly reproductive cells?

Not in Meyer's Failed World Of Fail.
Somehow she descibed it as a guy can because he can produce sperm and extra chromosome and a girl can't get preggo because she's dead and the eggs are :/
Her explanation was fail to the power of pi

[anhkat497]

Actually here is what Smeyer said

Quote:

I was always very careful when I answered the "Can vampires have babies?" question, because I didn't want to say anything incorrect, but I also didn't want to make the future super-obvious. I focused my answers on the female half of the equation—female vampires cannot have children because their bodies no longer change in any aspect. There is no changing cycle to begin with, and their bodies couldn't expand to fit a growing child, either. I purposely evaded answering the question, "Can a male vampire get a human female pregnant?" to preserve a tiny bit of surprise in the last book. There were many statements on this subject purported to have come from me, but I never made those comments because, obviously, I knew where this was going.

[Yourfriend_itsme_]

Makothecrane34

NEW RULES:
-No posting post to incite flaming or trolling
-No encouraging trolling
-No targeting other users
-Any abusive behavior will be reported

Let's do a better job with this one, guys!

4/29/09-
Epic screencap that shows that Gaia(and Louie!) is still epic:


6/3/09-
Please ignore any of PUSH PUSH Lady Lighting's posts on this thread.

6/21/09-
New link added to the Cool Stuffs list.

7/10/09-
New links added to the Cool Stuffs list! Thank you for the links, Moi Fah. ^^
Original first post:

Ane the panther

Hello everyone, welcome the the largest (I think) Twilight critique thread on Gaia!

This topic was born when I began reading Twilight for my bookclub and wasn't impressed. I began to search the forums for like-minded people. When I didn't find topics, I decided to create my own, in order to balance out the amount of topics praising Twilight.

10/15/07
After a short adventure in the recycle bin, "Anyone else can't stand Twilight?" is back home in the book forum. We're now accepting housewarming presents. whee

Note to fans: Even if you enjoyed Twilight, if you're up for some debating, feel free to join in. We always love to get new opinions (and people). Also, if you are a fan, we'd like to know WHY you like it, not just that you do like it (if you know what I mean).

Just be aware that this is our home turf. We (as far as I know) don't mess around in the pro-Twilight thread, so please respect that this is our place to rant, debate, and carry out random off-topic discussion when not doing either of the two preceding things. We do welcome brave fans who wish to debate or chat with us, but you must understand that we may not always be civil. While in an ideal world we would all be able to debate in an intelligent polite manner, that may not always happen here. You chose to come here to argue with us, so expect to have your arguments cut up into a million pieces and burned. If it gets too rude or intense for you feel free to leave at any time. You come here voluntarily, and you may leave voluntarily too. No one is forcing you to stay here.


^Art by Firinafel^


Why we hate Twilight

- Bella and Edward = Mary-Sue and Gary-Stu respectively

- Being clumsy is not a character flaw!

- Ms. Meyer's vampires are perfect. We respect her attempt to do away with the classical image of vampires, however, she made them super fast, strong, beautiful, etc.... She also did away with their weaknesses. And they shine, that speaks for itself.

- If the first 200 pages of your book rely on the mystery of a character's identity, don't slap "First, Edward was a vampire" on the back cover. (We realize this is not Ms. Meyer's fault, and the choice was made by the publishers. However, this isn't a "Why we hate Stephenie Meyer" list, it's why we hate Twilight. So I would consider this a legitimate reason.)

- The author constantly repeats certain things that she's already described in full detail. (Bella's extremely noisy truck, Edwards 'perfectness', how bad she was at volleyball, etc.)

- Ms. Meyer's first-person POV sucks. She just can't pull it off. Why is that? Because she doesn't find a way to explain anything but Bella. We never get to know how Edward works because Bella never thinks it, of course, and Ms. Meyer shows no other way of expressing it.
(NOTE: We all know about Midnight Sun, so please don't bring it up as you're sole argument for this point. We've heard it all before, but the fact is that, Ms. Meyer shouldn't have to write another book to explain things that should have been shown in the original.)

- Much too little actual conflict in the story. But this probably stems from having flawless main character.

- She threw away the best part! The actual falling in love! It's supposed to happen slowly... there's supposed to be intimacy and sweetness and awkwardness. But no. It's right-off-the-bat in love. They both know it instantly. From then on it's just fighting to stop his species from keeping them apart.

- Why do they love each other anyway? She smells good and he’s hot… what?

- It's just not healthy to teach young girls that True Love involves the guy watching you while you sleep. Not to mention the messes in New Moon, omitted for spoiler reasons.

- Edward is HOT. We get it. Good for you.

Thanks everyone who contributed to THE LIST. Especially Minari, most of this is an abridged version of some of her best points. heart

Our Policy on Spoilers: We ask that you mark all spoilers for both Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. However, I'm sure people will slip up, so if you haven't read either book yet and don't want anything spoiled for you, tread carefully!

Cool Stuffs
The Poison Apple- An awesome critique site
TwilightSucks.com - Another site making fun of Twilight
The Poison Apple's LJ community.
The Twilight guild- If you like to book or just want to debate on the fans' home turf.
The real Edward Cullen
Edward Cullen - Abusive Boyfriend.- by Aldorel
The Starfish Effect- an anti-fic by me.
The Uncyclopedia entry on Twilight
Another LJ community poking fun at Twilight
Dominic Knight's blog - Keep and eye open for some awesome essays here.
A Parody
A Lemon at Dusk- A Twilight chapter-by-chapter review
You are Bella
Paper Shredder Reviews: Twilight Sucks
Encyclopedia Dramatica's article of Twilight
You'd like to add to the list, please PM me.

TWILIGHT FAILS

[PrimidZelda]

anhkat497

Actually here is what Smeyer said

Quote:

I was always very careful when I answered the "Can vampires have babies?" question, because I didn't want to say anything incorrect, but I also didn't want to make the future super-obvious. I focused my answers on the female half of the equation—female vampires cannot have children because their bodies no longer change in any aspect. There is no changing cycle to begin with, and their bodies couldn't expand to fit a growing child, either. I purposely evaded answering the question, "Can a male vampire get a human female pregnant?" to preserve a tiny bit of surprise in the last book. There were many statements on this subject purported to have come from me, but I never made those comments because, obviously, I knew where this was going.

I respect her, but still, it was far out in the "jumping the shark" zone. rolleyes

[Animus Inanis]

Lucy the Vampire

anhkat497

Actually here is what Smeyer said

Quote:

I was always very careful when I answered the "Can vampires have babies?" question, because I didn't want to say anything incorrect, but I also didn't want to make the future super-obvious. I focused my answers on the female half of the equation—female vampires cannot have children because their bodies no longer change in any aspect. There is no changing cycle to begin with, and their bodies couldn't expand to fit a growing child, either. I purposely evaded answering the question, "Can a male vampire get a human female pregnant?" to preserve a tiny bit of surprise in the last book. There were many statements on this subject purported to have come from me, but I never made those comments because, obviously, I knew where this was going.

I respect her, but still, it was far out in the "jumping the shark" zone. rolleyes

I can understand changing the rules a wee bit because of the genre...but her lack of the understanding of basic Biology frightens me. This woman makes me so embarrassed that I'm glad I have a male avvie so I don't have to say I'm of the same sex.

[Makoto Tsuru]

anhkat497

Actually here is what Smeyer said

Quote:

I was always very careful when I answered the "Can vampires have babies?" question, because I didn't want to say anything incorrect, but I also didn't want to make the future super-obvious. I focused my answers on the female half of the equation—female vampires cannot have children because their bodies no longer change in any aspect. There is no changing cycle to begin with, and their bodies couldn't expand to fit a growing child, either. I purposely evaded answering the question, "Can a male vampire get a human female pregnant?" to preserve a tiny bit of surprise in the last book. There were many statements on this subject purported to have come from me, but I never made those comments because, obviously, I knew where this was going.

Carefully? Ha! Like like Lucy the Vampire said, it was very jump the shark-ish. And this has been mention many times before, but isn't an erection a change of the body? And a male vampire is dead so they can't produce living sperm nor have a pulse to get an erection.

[PrimidZelda]

To put it bluntly, SM disgraces all vampires and makes preps watch Dracula, then scream, "GOD! DRACULA ISN'T HOT OR NOBLE!!!!!" well dur.