One time, I had eaten a whole bag of stale Halloween candy, a little too much cold medicine, and I fell asleep to old Disney music.
My dream went like this--
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (about three miles from the edge of forever) there lived a strange woman and her half-smurf son, Ewin. He had severe deppression, and the day before the yesterday of your favorite yellow tomorrow, he was offered an extra role in a Lyrica commercial. [Deppression medication.] He tried out, and got the role. Commented the producer-'He was so
BLUE! This kid has
TALENT!!' But the day before his debut on television, Charlie the Unicorn kidnapped him and held him hostage to the insurance company. Needless to say, they grew old and poor together in a cave not far from Candy Mountain. They survived on a diet of taffy and rocks and grew to love each other in a not-so-manly way. they decided to never come back to the city and all of it's deppressing sights, and elope togther in Iowa. But the police caught Charlie and locked him away for organ donor fraud. Ewin ran away crying, but the drug pushers caught him and sold him for $15 to the Oh-Too-Lonely Women of the Midwest Assossciation. They had their fun, and left him cold and alone on the streets. HE spent the next four and a half weeks walking the tracks, living like a hobo, until he got back to the edge of forever. He went back to his mother's house and knew she would take him in, but she turned him away at the door. She was too busy having affairs with cartoon characters for a child. So he went back to Lyrica, hoping for the job. But when he got to the complex, he was told that he had been replaced because Smurfette had slept with the director. He was no longer needed. He then proceded to stick forks in toasters for show business in Las Vegas, the end.