[Private for b i z a r r e briefs & B3N3V0L3NTxF4iiRY___xo]

[b i z a r r e briefs]

• ••3VAN GiiOVANNii FiiNNiiAN GABR3iiL LAODiiR3•• •

i W0ND3R H0W TH3Y F33L T0NiGHT

3VAN'S A [ Happy So&So ]

Even after Evan stopped hugging him Alex just tightened his arms around Evan’s small waist. Evan didn’t mind though he quite liked the feeling of Ian-Alexandre holding onto him, a smile on Remi’s face. Remi was adorable and probably the cutest boy that he had ever seen in his life. To Evan, Ian seemed so innocent even though he knew the horrible things that had happened to Alex; The tragedies of his family, the sadness of the unwanted memories. He just wanted Alex to be happy for once. And so when a smile appeared on his face ha was overjoyed and almost ready to kiss the man, but he knew he couldn’t. He knew what that would do to Evan. He didn’t want to rush anything, he didn’t want to put any pressure on Alex. They weren’t even in a very intimate relationship anyways. He knew that even though he really wanted to that he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t make that choice for Alex.

It was in that small moment that Evan noticed something. He noticed that he was so utterly scared of hurting Alex, he was so scared of Alex having a mental breakdown because of him, or if Alex tried to kill himself. He never wanted that to happen. He never wanted to hurt Ian-Alexandre. He would rather leave and know that Alex was ok than stay and force something bad to happen. He wanted to have Remi stay happy, and maybe coming was a bad idea. Alex seemed so happy though; so utterly thrilled. Evan was in love with Ian. He was truly in love with the boy and he had just realized it. He had just realized that he loved the boy in his arms and it took everything in him not to say something or to start something. Then the thoughts of hurting him came back. He knew he couldn’t do it.

He and Alex pulled away from each other and he watched Alex as he gave him a small smile before stepping back into the house. Through the letters Evan had connected with Ian-Alexandre differently than he had with any other person. He had found that he loved writing to the boy and knowing that none his secrets would be told and that he could tell him anything. This was special in his mind. There was only a few people he knew that he could tell then anything and trusted them completely. There were no secrets between the boys. There was nothing blocking a relationship from starting. If one did start though, Evan knew everything would have to be taken slower than any other relationship he had ever been in. He knew it might take a while to get to where a normal relationship was in the beginning, but he knew it would be worth the wait.

After the step into the house Ian-Alexandre proceeded to talk. "I should warn you to stay away from Caleb for a while. He's in a bad mood. If you want to come in, I can show you to the guest room, and then introduce you, if you want." He loved the sound of Alex’s voice it was smooth and it was just a little on the high side of high and low. So he sounded like a little kid sometimes. He found that to be one of Alex’s other adorable/amazing features. He didn’t want to tell Alex that for the threat of looking to odd. He watched as Ian stopped talking after that taking a few quick seconds to tug on his lip rings. GOD. Lip rings were such a sexy feature. Why did he have to be so tempting but so fragile! He cleared his head of these thoughts and thought about what had been said. "Or I could show you around outside before it gets even colder." Inside or outside? Seeing the family or being alone with Alex for a while longer. He didn’t know exactly at that moment but he had to say something.

A few seconds after Ian-Alexandre had asked the inside or outside. He had decided that he wanted to spend more time with Ian-Alexandre. He had also decided that he wanted to see the tree in the back yard he had been hearing about for years. Remi loved the tree and as much and Evan loved tree’s had wanted to see why. Though when he looked over At Ian he saw him already shivering, he didn’t want to make Alex colder than he was though he knew that he could just bundle Alex up and take him outside. In just those few minutes Alex had started shivering. “I think exploring the outside sounds like a wonderful idea, but we should trade in the quilt for another jacket or a heavier one. We don’t want you freezing.” He said happily to Alex a smile still on his face. He was really happy he was here, and he didn’t think anything could change that.

Then came a kitten. It started rubbing Alex’s legs and he immediately though it was Sparkle. Sparkle was the kitten the Ian-Alexandre had gotten a few months ago that Ian had fallen in love with. He knew the cat made Remi so unbelievably happy and that made Evan very happy. He watched as Alex picked up the small white kitten. From afar Evan guessed he looked like a little white fluff ball but up close he was so cute, and thankfully Evan wasn’t allergic to cats. He watched as Alex’s arms cradled Sparkle and he watched as his finger scratched behind his ears, earning a purring noise from the cat. Sooner than he thought though Alex introduced him to the cat; He held the cat out to him, and Evan was able to let it smell his hand before taking Sparkle from Alex. He cradled Sparkle in his arms stroking him behind the ears smiling. “He’s so adorable.” And the cat reminded him of Alex. The cat was just as adorable.

After a few minutes of petting the cat, Sparkle seemed done and wanted out so Evan bent down and let the small little white cat scurry into the warm house walking in after him and closing the door behind him. Now they needed to get Alex a jacket and then back to the outdoors. He stood their smiling watching the cat run away before looking back up at Ian-Alexandre’s cute face, his small smile now bigger than it had been. “Now, let’s go get you a jacket and then you can show me that tree you have been talking about for so long. ” he said smiling at Remi, his jacket loose on his body looking away at the house. Seeing where Ian-Alexandre had been living for the last one while.

[B3N3V0L3NTxF4iiRY___xo]

iAN-AL3XANDR3 [ R3MiNGTON ] HAUK
iRR3SPONSiBL3 CHiLD, G3T A H0LD 0N Y0RS3LF
Ian is [insanely giddy]

Ian-Alexandre was actually glad that Evan wanted to explore the outside first. For starters, it had just started to snow again, and when it snowed, it snowed a lot. Ian hated being outside when the snow was more than a few inches deep, and he figured that by the next morning, it would probably be a good six inches deep, maybe more. Seeing as it was getting closer and closer to sun down, only an hour or so, it was just getting colder, and the cold was something he hated. He almost never went outside in the winter, and when he did, he had on at least three layers, and then his quilt. The quilt had gone just about everywhere with him since Evan had sent it. Since Alex never went anywhere in public, no one could ridicule him for carrying the blanket with him. It was his security blanket. When he had it wrapped around him, people could touch him, and he'd never feel it through the fabric. Plus, he could imagine that it was Evan if he tried really hard. And he had. Call him lame if you wanted, but it honest to god helped.

If you wanted to get into the really lame and lonely stuff, you just needed to look at his room. The wall that wasmade from cork, his giant bulletin board, was completely covered in the things Evan had sent him over the years. It was practically his Evan shrine. Then there was the picture of Evan taped to the wall right next to Remi's, a picture he really needed to take down before Evan saw it. It wasn't his fault he liked talking to the picture every morning. It was Evan's fault for making him fall so hard. At least he hadn't gotten to the point that he pretended the body pillow he slept with was Evan. The body pillow was simply there because if you would lay on it for ten minutes, it would actually radiate heat like a person. Being as cold natured as he was, Alex needed it to sleep. It didn't matter that he had three quilts, two throws, a flannel sheet, a regular sheet, and a comforter on his bed, he still needed extra warmth. Sometimes he even had Sparkle sleep curled up right in front of his face, to keep his face warm. He had to sleep on his side, curlled around the body pillow, facing the wall.

Dr. Richardson claimed he had to have some form of OCD, because of how everything had to be just so for Ian-Alexandre to stay sane. He ate his food a certain way, his blankets had to be in a certain order, his clothes were sorted by color, and then type within the color. His school work had to be done perfectly, or he beat himself up over it. The seeds for his garden were organized by plant size and growing season, the buls by shape and growing season. Even the garden tools were organized by shape, and how important they were. The only things in his life that he liked unorganized were his bulletin board, and the box he kept Evan's letters in. He purposefully mixed the letters up, so when he wanted to a letter to read, he got a different one every time. He had most of the letters memorized, he'd read them so much. Ryan had called him obsesed more than once because of the fact that he read a letter every day, but he didn't care. When the letters were all you had, you read them as often as you possibly could.

Back to the task at hand. He needed to find his coat, put on a pair of sweats over his jeans so his legs wouldn't freeze, and then he needed to find Caleb or Ryan to tell them he was going outside. Finding Caleb would be easy enough. He just had to walk towards the sound of Situations by Escape the Fate. Caleb was constantly listening that song, and by the sounds of it, he'd put it on the t.v. "Follow me." Without waiting for Evan's response he took a deep breath, and did something that took all of his bravery. He grabbed Evan's hand. He hadn't held anyone's hand since he was twelve, when his brother had been helping him through a crowd.. They had been at a movie, and Ian had had to go to the bathroom, and being the little idiot he was then, he'd gotten completely lost. That was before he even knew there was pills for his ADHD, so his mind was scrambled. he'd ended up on the other end of the theatre, right as a new release was letting out, and he'd freaked. The people were everywhere, and they were all touching him, and he just freaked. He remembered standing there, and crying, and wishing that everyone would just go away when his brother showed up. He'd idolized the older Hauk boy until he'd left for college, which was when he'd started to hate him. His mind was still extremely childish then, and he couldn't understand why his brother would leave him alone with their dad. What kind of a normal 14-year-old wanted to be stuck with a Dad who was drunk 90% of the time. But then he'd met Bernard, Bernie as he'd called him, and he'd had a new hero. That was when his life had gone downhill for sure. Remi sometimes thought back and wondered how his mind could have been so child-like back then. The insane trust of everything with legs, the complete oblivious nature... Compared to the Remi that he was now, he was like an entirely different person.

Ian-Alexandre stood there for a few moments, trying to make his heart stop pounding, and the fear that was growing in the back of his throat go away, before he started to walk, tugging Evan behind him. He went straight for the living room, stopping just in the doorway. What he saw was something he didn't want to see at all. Caleb was sitting on the couch, not a weird thing, but what he was doing to Sparkle bothered Ian. Sparkle would climb next to Caleb, and start to chew on the hem of his jeans,, a sure sign he wanted to be held. But then Caleb would just swat him away. Ian felt anger replace the fear that he'd been feeling, and he dropped Evan's hand, racing over to the couch, to save his defenseless kitty. With the small white kitten held close to his chest, Ian-Alexandre glared down at Caleb. "I've told you a thousand times, when he does that he wants you to hold him. I can't believe you'd hit him! He's just a baby, Caleb!" Alex glared at him for a few seconds more, before walking back to Evan, taking the other boy's hand without much thought. "Tell Ryan I'm going outside, alright?"

Ian gave Caleb one last, long glare, before walking out of the room, to the other side of the foyer. Their foyer wasn't exactly huge, about the size of a small bedroom. The doorway to the living room was on the left side, the stair case to the front, and the doorway to the dining room on the right. With Evan's hand still firmly in his, Ian-Alexandre walked up the stairs, and down the hall to his room. Once at the door, he dropped Evan's hand, and turned the knob, letting Sparkle jump down once the door was opened. The kitten immediately ran to the bed, and struggled to get up, Ian just a few steps behind. He had to hide that picture. Alex scrambled onto the bed after the cat, very carefully peeling the picture off the wall, hiding it under the pillow. "This is my room. Um, you can see the tree out that window, if you want to look at it while I change, and stuff. Be careful if you climb in the window seat, there's a nail that sticks up in the middle, towards the front." He smiled, and walked over to his closet, tugging the biggest coat he had out, along with an extra hoodie. He threw the clothes onto his bed, moving to his dresser, where he pulled out a pair of sweats, his gloves, a scarf, and a stocking cap.

"Oh, I should let you choose which room you want. There's a guest room in the basement, but it's small, and secluded. There's one next to mine, but it's pink, and rather girly. Or, if you wanted, we could drag the stow-away mattress out from under my bed, and I could sleep on it, and let you have my bed. It's up to you." Ian stared at the other boy for a moment, almost dreamily, before he forced himself back into reality, and the task at hand. He hadn't put shoes on when he answered the door, so he didn;t have to mess with them. He slid the sweats over his jeans, thankful they were skinny jeans, followed by the extra hoodie over his head, and then the coat, scarf gloves, and the stocking cap. He knew he looked like a giant, pale purple marshmallow in the coat, but he didn;t care. He was warm, and that's what mattered. He waddled, very literally, his way to his closet, pulling his snow boots out, and on. Ryan said he over-dressed for the few inches of snow there were, but as I've said many times, Ian and the cold did not get along very well.

[ WOULDN'T iT B3 NiC3 TO N3V3R B3 ALON3 iN THiS WAST3D LiF3? ]

[b i z a r r e briefs]

• ••3VAN GiiOVANNii FiiNNiiAN GABR3iiL LAODiiR3•• •

i W0ND3R H0W TH3Y F33L T0NiGHT

3VAN'S A [ Happy So&So ]

When Ian-Alexandre took his hand in his it was almost as if magic happened. He heard the deep breath that had been swallowed moments before, and he knew the courage that it would take for Ian to do something like grab Evan’s hand in his even if he was only pulling him along. The feeling that he got from Ian’s had was more rewarding than he could have ever thought possible. It was an absolute squirt of happiness that had been sent through his body. The feelings that had been stuffed in the bottom of his body felt as if they could jump out. But everything was different with Remi. He had held hands many times before this and none of them had ever seemed to mean this much. Everyone one’s else hands hadn’t reached for his, it was always his for theirs and he couldn’t help but think that if they were ever able to have a relationship that it would be totally different. For once though this pleased him. He wanted something entirely different, something entirely new to him because most likely it was new to Ian. God, did he love the boy, no matter how messed up he was he couldn’t help but see every good part of him first. He didn’t mind the ADHD, he didn’t mind the family drama. He could work with all of that, that didn’t scare him off, all he wanted was Ian. Why couldn’t he tell, why couldn’t he tell that all Even wanted to do was to hold him tightly in his arms. He thought that the long loving stares, the dreamy looks he got in his eyes, and the heartfelt letters he had sent over the years would be a clue but they hadn’t manages to light a spark in the other boys head. He wanted Alexandre to see it. He wanted to be able to say that Alex was all his. If Alex was all his what would happen when he left. How would Ian cope. He didn’t want to see Remi sad, all he really wanted was for the boy to be happy.

Together Ian-Alexandre and Evan stood in the same spot letting a few moments pass them by. Evan wanted his heart to stop pounding, it was as if he could hear it playing out of his chest. He hated feeling nervous and Remi just seemed to have a way with making him nervous. HE felt as if he could faint, but as he felt a light tug he was pulled back into reality. The soft tugs were a gentle reminder that he had to start walking but being behind the boy had it’s perks. It let him look at the whole back of Ian. Making his body into lines, making him into art. God, did he want to draw him. It seemed like the boy couldn’t get any better. Remi reminded Evan of art. Because no matter how ugly art is, it can still be considered beautiful. He had seen art of blood and death, and it could be the most horrible things happening in the paintings yet you could always find a beautiful meaning. Art is both pretty on the outside and on the inside. It doesn’t have to compete with each other like people. Ian was Art to him.

He walked behind Remi, he walked out of the cold air closing the door behind him just following Alexandre. He held tight to the boys hand and just walked slowly along until they reached the living room, their hands still connected. Immediately Evan saw Caleb. Caleb sat on the couch, and Sparkle was just being a kitten. And soon Sparkle started to chew on the hem of Caleb’s jeans. Evan himself wouldn’t have minded having a few cats himself. Sparkle was the most adorable and as he watched Caleb swat Sparkle away he immediately felt Ian-Alexandre’s hand slip out of his own going to pick up Sparkle and to yell and Caleb. Who would hit animals and so Evan understood why Ian was yelling. The moment Alex started yelling he could almost feel the heat radiate off of Ian-Alexandre’s body, the anger and the unhappiness leaking all over the place. After the yelling had finished he felt Alex come back over taking his hand in the process. He saw the look this gave Caleb, and he couldn’t believe the jealousy and the anger he was able to find on Caleb’s face. Evan was soon allowed to turn around and walk away with Ian. He didn’t know where they were going but he couldn’t help but try and figure it out.

This time they walked up stairs. The stair case was huge, and it almost reminded him of one of the fairytale staircases because they always seem so long. Though the characters run up and down them so quickly. The walked together though Alex was technically ahead since he was leading letting Sparkle up the stairs in front of him. What would Ian-Alexandre’s room look like. He had never been inside, but then again Ian didn’t have many friends, and Evan had sent him things, for years now. Starting with a quilt, moving forward with pants and clothes and the occasional book. He had sent artwork everything but what would It look like. He knew that it wouldn’t be like a mental hospital room, but would it be normal. Ian was normal to Evan. All people had problems, Alex just had more than others. When they finally reached Alex’s room, Evan watched as Remi opened the door, letting Sparkle immediately rush in. The moment the door was open, Alex dropped his hand and also ran in which didn’t surprise him, there was always thing you would want to hid, or get cleaner before you had a friend of someone you knew really well come into your room.

Evan walked into Ian-Alexandre’s room and was totally surprised on what he found. One of the walls was purely just a bulletin board and it was covered in things he had sent Remi over the years, some of these things he had forgotten about. Like the time when he tried to take up Knitting because Blair said she’s teach him and it came out horribly, It was almost piece of strings and he couldn’t just help but stare at it. It made so many memories return, the first letters, getting to know each other and when he finally sent Alex something. He could remember that day clearly. He had been so freaked out about sending something. The gift had been simple though. It was just a picture of the city, his city. It had been sketched all day. He had spent most of his time when he made it sitting out of the terrace of his apartment. As he looked at the yellowed page he realized how long he had known Remi for. It was so much longer than he could have remembered.

As Evan spaced out he forgot to listen to the words that came out of Ian-Alexandre’s mouth at first. He was thinking, reviewing his memories, taking everything, forgetting to look at the tree or to stare at Alex. He stood in front of the board instead of listening. He knew he should have been but he seemed to find the board intoxicating. As soon as he woke up from his daze he managed to catch the beginning of Ian’s word’s again. He was talking about where Evan would sleep where would Evan sleep. The basement sounded like a no. And he did feel like the pink room would be any fun, especially if relatives were coming. He wanted to have their room. So it was decided quickly in his head that he would sleep in Remi’s room and he would be on the Mattress leaving Alex with his bed. He didn’t want to intrude. He wanted Remi to be comfortable. So he stood there listening not exactly sure how to say he wanted to sleep in the same room. No matter how he phrased it in his head it just kept coming out wrong. So with one sigh his eyes and head moved away from the wall, turning towards Ian. Ian was still getting dressed, but that didn’t stop Evan from trying to tell him where he was sleeping. “I Think I’m going to sleep in here, and you’re going to keep your bed.” He said smiling.

After he finished talking instead of turning back to the wall he couldn’t help but stare at Ian. He was so different from everyone, he was an average hot boy. He had thoughts and a mind that could be appreciated. It wasn’t like he was some weird child to Evan. He intoxicated Evan but Evan was forced to move his eyes around the room still standing in the same spot trying to make it look less obvious that he was into Ian-Alexandre. He wanted the boy to know in some ways but less in others. He didn’t want that when he went home Alex was depressed but he didn’t know how that would go now. Soon, Remi was done getting dressed and with a few long footsteps he was back at Alex’s side. To Evan, Remi looked adorable, but to anyone else he looked so ridiculous. He was wearing snow boots and it hadn’t been snowing much, though Evan tried not to judge. He loved the puffy coat and the hat and gloves and when Evan reached his side he did something that he thought would surprise Alex. Evan grabbed the boys hand. The furry glove protecting Alex’s hand.

After taking Alex’s hand they walked down the stairs together, closing the door on the way out. It was a slow tedious walk down the large staircase but it couldn’t help but remind Evan of something. He remembered walking up the stairs one day, and then in mid step, he had fallen. Then Maybe the day after he sent a cartoon of himself falling down the stairs to Alex. The cartoon had been long and exaggerated, because in the comic it looks like he had taken forever to fall down the stairs. It had been a cute animated cartoon, and he had even sent a tape for sound effects, and when you played it and looked at the cartoon, it turned out to be a pretty funny comic. Evan had done it during the time his voice was changing to all the voices sounded different. He had gotten some giggles out of Alex for that one. “Ian, do you remember that comic I sent you of me falling down the stairs with e sound effects?” he asked wondering, he didn’t remember seeing it on Ian-Alexandre’s wall but he hadn’t really looked that hard.

[B3N3V0L3NTxF4iiRY___xo]

iAN-AL3XANDR3 [ R3MiNGTON ] HAUK
iRR3SPONSiBL3 CHiLD, G3T A H0LD 0N Y0RS3LF
Ian is [having evil mood swings]

It could almost be called pathetic how happy Ian-Alexandre was at that moment. Just knowing that Evan was right there, that h wouldn't have to wait wait a week to talk to him was amazing. Knowing that he wasn't going to disappear like he always did in the dreams, that he'd be right there. Sure, he'd have to leave eventually, but eventually was a long time away. All that mattered was that he was there right now, and that was enough for Alex. He'd deal with Evan's leaving when it came. Thinking about that would just make him unhappy, and he didn't want to be unhappy then. He had far too much to be happy about to be dwelling on the bad things that would come in the future. He had Evan all to himself for the rest of the day. Well, until five when he needed to go get ready for the stupid rehearsal dinner. But he doubted that anyone would care if he and Evan left a little bit early. Then they'd have all of the next day, barring the wedding, to talk or do whatever they wanted. But that just made Alex wonder when exactly Evan was going to leave. Hopefully he would stay for a long time. And if he didn't, maybe he could convince Dr. Richardson to take that vacation to Evan's place then, so he could stay with Evan longer. Maybe if they spent enough time actually together, he could get the courage to tell Evan exactly how much he meant to Alex. Then again, he probably never would gain enough courage to do that. Evan was too good for him, and he knew it. That boy had it all going for him; he was extremely attractive, his family had money, he was talented and smart. Why would he ever stand a chance with someone like that? He wouldn't, and that was that. At least he could cling to the hope for a little bit, right? Just to keep from being sad while Evan was there.

Ian-Alexandre had no clue how long he had stared at Evan while those thoughts trailed through his mind, but it was probably a long time. The only reason he had even been tugged out of them was the sound of Evan's voice. Would it be weird if Alex told Evan that he had a pretty voice? Probably would, but it was true. All the years he'd been trying to imagine exactly what his voice sounded like had never prepared him for the real thing. Sure, he'd had that tape with the sound effects, but that didn't count. His real voice was much, much prettier. Alex thought he could spend the rest of his life just listening to it. Maybe, if he had any good luck at all, he'd get the chance. Even if it wasn't the way he'd dreamed about it, he and Evan could be together forever. Even if it was just as best friends. it would probably kill Ian-Alexandre inside to watch him settle down with someone else, someone who he loved, but it would be worth it to know that he was happy. Call it cliched, but it was true. As long as he could be near Evan, and know that he was happy, Alex would be happy.

Now, how was he going to tell Evan that he sure as hell wasn't going to let him sleep on the floor? The little pervert that still lived in the corner of his mind kept screaming at him to tell Eva they could just share the bed, but the sensible part was yelling at him not to. There was no need to risk an accidental touch in the middle of the night that would send him into a flashback, or another fit. As nice as it would be, he couldn't risk it. But he wasn't going to let Evan sleep on the floor. he deserved better than that, and Alex was used to uncomfortable places to sleep. It had been a futon when he was locked in his room, and then a hospital bed for years; he could deal with a mattress on the floor. Evan was the one who needed the good bed. "No. You're sleeping in the bed. I'm used to being uncomfortable." Ian shot Evan a ghost of a smile, hoping that he wouldn't argue. If Evan wouldn't take the bed, then Ian would just sleep in the guest room, and Evan would have no choice but to take the bed. Well, not really, but still.

Evan was right, what he did did surprise Ian. But in a good way. A very, very good way. The tiny bit of hope that he'd been feeding off of for the last years seemed to multiply when Evan's hand grabbed his, and one of the biggest smiles he could ever remember smiling covered his face. He knew he shouldn't be getting excited over this, and that Evan was probably only doing this to get him to move, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to believe that the other boy was doing it because he actually wanted to hold Ian-Alexandre's hand. He wanted to believe that maybe, just maybe, there was a sliver of a chance that Evan might someday love him back. Oh god, that would make him so happy. He wasn't sure when exactly he'd fallen for Evan, but he had, and he'd fallen hard. Every time he got a letter where Evan talked about a boy or girl he really liked, Alex thought his heart would shatter. He'd tried so hard not to let that show through his letters and to make his writing seem as happy as possible, but it happened every time. It wasn't like he could just tell his heart to stop loving Evan. If that would have worked, then he would have stopped loving Evan a long time ago. But he hadn't. Every letter that he'd got had just made him fall harder and harder, and now it was slowly killing him. He had Evan right there, right where he wanted him, and he was too damned scared to even give the other boy a hint of how he felt.

At least they were walking now. It would make him stop thinking depressing thoughts, and make him happy again. he should be happy, no, he was happy. Evan was there, Evan was happy, he had Evan all to himself; he was happy. He just kept having his depressing thoughts show up. Well, he couldn't let that happen anymore. He wanted this day to be as perfect as it could, and his sadness would not help that any. He just had to keep thinking about happy things, like how he was going to get to show Evan all the places that he loved. His tree, his greenhouse, the creek, and the cave being the highlights. He hadn't really talked much about the cave or the creek. Actually, he hadn't mentioned them at all, but they were two of his favorite places. The creek was towards the edge of the Richardson's property, and was completely frozen at the moment. In the spring, summer, and autumn it was filled with tiny fish, and frogs, and tadpoles, and Ian loved to just sit in it and stare at the trees. Sometimes he and Caleb, or he and Ryan would chase eachother down the creek and see who would slip first. The cave was on the side of the biggest hill on the property, on the west side of the house. It wasn't really a cave, since it wasnt very big. it was just a hole in the side that could hold a few people, that was filled with rocks just the right size to sit on. Ian-Alexandre would hide in it when he didn't want to be found.

Remi snapped from his thoughts when he heard Evan speak, his small smile slowly covering his face. He gave a small nod in answer, trying his hardest not to make it noticeable that he was staring at Evan. Of course he still had that comic. He kept everything Evan had ever sent to him, simply because in his overly-sentimental mind everything that he'd received had meant that Evan had been thinking about him. And that meant more to him than anything. So every single thing Evan had ever sent him was either put on the wall, or his special Evan box. That was actually what he called it; it was his Evan Box. It was the box that Dr. Richardson had made him decorate while he was in the hospital, and it held every letter, every picture, and every story he couldn't fit on the wall. None of the actual letters were on the wall, since he didn't want anyone but him to read them, but everything else he could make stay on the board was. The box just held things that wouldn't stay, wouldn't fit, or that he thought was too valuable to go on the wall. Maybe he'd show Evan tonight. "I still have it. It's in my box."

Ian smiled at Evan again, speeding up as they neared the front door. He didn't care that he was about to start tugging Evan again, and he just hoped that the other boy wouldn't mind. Alex had a plan mapped out in his head of how they were going to see everything outside as quickly as possible. They would go to the tree first, since it was closest. Then they would walk down to the creek, then up to the greenhouse so Alex could warm up for a few minutes, and then over to the cave. It wasn't exactly the quickest way to see everything, but it gave Alex a chance to warm up for a bit in the greenhouse, and that was all he wanted. He probably should have asked Evan to see if he was really up to seeing everything, but he didn't. Evan wanted a tour; he was getting a tour. Plus, saving the cave for last gave Ian a chance to try out yet another of his plans, one that would hopefully end in him getting enough courage to tell Evan how he felt. The plan was simple enough. He would "trip" at the cave, ad fall against Evan. If Evan held him up longer than was absolutely necessary, than he might actually have a chance, and he would tell him. If Evan just held him long enough to make sure he wouldn't fall again, then he wouldn't say a word about it, and he would wait until Evan was gone to cry about it. it all worked out in his mind.

Remi threw the front door open when the got to it, and pulled Evan out behind him. He barely closed the door before he started to run, dragging Evan behind him. He really hoped Evan didn't mind, but now that he was actually outside he wanted to get to the tree as quickly as possible. It didn't take very long for the two to run to the back yard, Ian running until he was at the end of the chairs for the wedding the next day. The layou for the wedding was simple. You came out the sliding doors in the back, and about fifteen yards ahead the chairs started. There were probably 250 chairs, and then the tent where the wedding party would stand. Behind the tent was Alex's tree. Alex shot Evan another smile before he walked to the back of the tree, and pushed his way through the branches, gently tugging Evan after him. He stopped when he was at the trunk, leaning his back against it and closing his eyes. "This is my tree. I wish you could see it in the summer, when it has all it's leaves. It's gorgeous."


[ooc] I am soooo sorry for how long this took me. I assume you got my PM about how they thought my dad had cancer, and how I was going to try to quit Gaia so I could spend time with him. They did another ultrasound last week, and what they thought was canceris just a fatty lump. Soooo, I'm back. [/ooc]

[ WOULDN'T iT B3 NiC3 TO N3V3R B3 ALON3 iN THiS WAST3D LiF3? ]

[B3N3V0L3NTxF4iiRY___xo]

BUMP

[B3N3V0L3NTxF4iiRY___xo]

[Oh noes. This didn't die, did it?]

[b i z a r r e briefs]

[ no my internet connection isn't working because my dad changed something. so i can only get on on my moms computer. and my dad's been out of town for the last two weeks. I'm working on a post i assure you. ]

[b i z a r r e briefs]

• ••3VAN GiiOVANNii FiiNNiiAN GABR3iiL LAODiiR3•• •

i W0ND3R H0W TH3Y F33L T0NiGHT

3VAN'S A [ Happy So&So ]

When Evan grabbed Ian’s had he watched as the boys face lit up. An actual smile appeared on the boys face and he couldn’t help but smile along with him. He was holding the hand of the boy he was in love with. If it never got any further at least he could always have that. At least he could say that he made the boy happy even though Evan was struggling inside. He wanted to tell Ian more than anything but he didn’t know what would happen. In his dreamland everything would be good. He could kiss Remington whenever he wanted. He wouldn’t have to worry about the fact that the boy would go into a state of depression. Then again his traumatic experience was what brought them to meet. He wouldn’t sacrifice that for the world. He loved the boy to much to trade him in for the fantasy version. The boy was interesting, had a great mind, and a cute smile. How could he ever tell him all of this? Alex was standing right there. And weren’t the signals clear? The long stares, looking at him and nowhere else, or even the hand he held in his. He wanted the boy all for his own. What more could he do? Kissing the boy was out of the question, and was wrapping an arm around the boys waist to forward. But Evan was a forward person. Why couldn’t he just say It now. Why was it so hard for him to say anything. Alex’s voice flowed so cleanly and harmoniously. He wanted to hold the boy. He needed to talk to someone about it, but was walking now and there was nothing he could do. He sure wasn’t going to leave the boy.

He intertwined their fingers, finally feeling Alex’s soft hand. His hands were so small compared to Evans. Evans were huge and Alex’s hand were so small compared to his. They were soft and light and he was so happy to have the chance to just hold them. It was one thing to write to him long distance, I was another thing be with him and it was totally different to be next to him holding his hand. He loved to think that he would do this in the future, but he was never sure that there would be a future. He wanted their to be a future, he felt like he needed for there to be a future. He wanted their o be a future of them more than anything. He loved the boy and he couldn’t help it. Every time the boy smiled he thought that he could fly off the ground. It was amazing what a person could do to you. They could make you so happy but so utterly confused. Remi just made Evan happy, and excited, and so much more. He could never get his mind off of him and he was bursting with life when it came to Ian. Did Ian Actually feel the same way or was it all just hope telling him lies.

They were walking down the stairs now and Ian-Aleixandre was tugging gently on his hand. He loved the feeling each tug gave him and he loved how he was right behind Ian. He got a great view of the boys backside even though he was bundled up to look like a purple marshmallow. He was cute as a marshmallow. He was still just as skinny but with the crazy outfit it just made him that much more adorable. Especially the puffy jacket. He loved the puffy jacket. Then again Alex could wear just bout anything or just about nothing and still look amazing in Evans eyes. Evan had first met the boy through letters only judging on personality so looks had never been a problem. Bu when he sent a picture of himself Evan almost flipped over and died. The moment he saw him it had been cute at first sight and that had been back when he was still confused on his sexuality but even then he knew the boy was a total cutie. And now he was walking down the stairs with him. EEEP! It made him feel so giddy like a teenage school girl. He wanted the boy so bad.

There was so many things Evan wanted to do to Ian-Alexandre. Some of them were completely innocent and others not so much. He loved the boy, and he was quiet sure of it now. It wasn’t something that he was having second thoughts on. He felt this for sure and he would have to say that he had felt it for a while now, months actually. Every time a letter came him he couldn’t help but run and stop whatever he was doing and focus all of his attention on the letter and Ian. He would read it over and over again until he had practically memorized it by heart. Those were the days he felt wanted. Those were the days that he felt like he had meaning to people other than his parents. And even his parents didn’t listen to him like Alex did. He was completely honest with Alex. He could write down anything, he could tell the boy anything and everything and he would always write back. He would never judge and he would always respond. He found that utterly amazing the would have probably been times that he wouldn’t have been able to write back to himself. He would have judged himself and not wrote back. But that’s what made Ian-Alexandre so special.

When Ian mentioned a box he couldn’t help but wonder, what kind of box was it. Was it a memory box or was it just a box of stuff. Evan wanted to know and as the nosey boy he was he was bound to find out. It jus depended on how he phrased the question. He wanted it to be curious but not nosey but he still wanted to get lots of info out of the boy. He was bad that way and he could tell that things might just not go his way but why not ask anyways. “What box Ian?” He asked his mind making up all kinds of possibilities. He wanted to know what was in that box and he knew that if he didn’t find out it was going to bug him for the rest of his life. What else would he have in the box. These were the stupid questions that plagued Evan’s mind. He could have been thinking of something worthwhile but it never seemed to end up that way. His mind was always filled with the what-ifs? And the Remember Whens. He wondered if all the letters were in the box. Did Alex even keep the letters. Evan did. Evan had them packed away in an old text book that he had made into a box. He wondered if the boy would show him this box. He wanted him to, he wanted to know everything about the boy.

When they finished with the stairs the walked towards the front down speeding up as they got closer; Ian-Alexandre was excited he could feel it. He could feel it through the small but consistent tugs he was getting from Alex’s hand and it made him excited. He wanted to see everything that Ian had ever written about. He wanted to know Alex inside out, and he wouldn’t mind running around to do so. So when they reached the front door Alex threw it open and pulled Evan out behind him. And before the door had barely closed Alex and started running. His feet moved quickly and it took Evan a moment to process this and for that time he was being dragged along. When he figured it out he caught up and ran beside the boy, and they quickly made it to the backyard. It was covered in chairs and he could see that it would be a beautiful wedding. The layout was simple but it would be beautiful, and when he spotted the tree he could tell why Evan had fallen in love with it. It was huge and beautiful and even though there was no leaves the pure simplicity of the tree was amazing. Together they pushed through the branches and made it to the heart of the tree. The trunk. He watched as Ian leaned back against it and closed is eyes. Evan stood close to him and he was tempted to just lean in and kiss him. But as soon as he had the courage to do it words started gliding out of his perfectly shaped mouth. So Evan made up for it by taking both of Alex’s hands before replying. “I’m going to draw you in this tree.” He said his thoughts slipping out of his mouth, opening his eyes, letting them settle on the small boy he was in love with.

[B3N3V0L3NTxF4iiRY___xo]

iAN-AL3XANDR3 [ R3MiNGTON ] HAUK
iRR3SPONSiBL3 CHiLD, G3T A H0LD 0N Y0RS3LF
Ian is [terrified, in a good way]

Ian-Alexandre wished that there was a way for him to put how he felt into words, but he knew there wasn't. Something about being around the person you loved was crazy, even if the feeling wasn't returned. Maybe not knowing if the feeling was returned even made it a little bit better. Even though it would be so reassuring to know that the person you were in love with was in love with you, not knowing made every little thing they did seem a thousand times more important. It made an amazing surge of hope rush through your veins every time they looked at you for more than a few seconds, every time they smiled at you, every time their hand tightened around yours. And the amount that went surging through his veins when their fingers were twined together... it should be illegal. Alex knew that this would end badly, most likely, but he didn't care. He was used to everything ending badly for him, and at least this felt good on the way, right? Right. This was heaven, and he wasn't afraid to admit it. If it had been anyone but Evan holding his hand, he probably would have been terrified, but this was Evan, and that made it feel right. It felt like this was how it was supposed to be, like his hand was mad to fit perfectly with Evan's. And the little shivers it sent up and down his spine every time he remember that they were holding hands was amazing, like a shot of pure adrenaline. It was the greatest feeling, and he never wanted it to end. He wanted it to go on and on and on.

He knew it would end though, and that killed him. Ian-Alexandre knew better than anyone that Evan would have to leave eventually, and whether the other boy realized it or not, he would be taking Alex's heart when he went. It wasn't like it made that much of a difference; Evan had had Alex's heart for the longest time. He would never admit it to anyone, but part of the reason he had agreed to go out with Caleb was to try to force his feelings for Evan to leave. he knew that they were completely hopeless, and yet they were there, and they wouldn't go away. Because damn it, he had tried to make them leave. He had tried so hard. They wouldn't leave him no matter what he did. He constantly reminded himself that Evan would never feel the same way, and who could blame him? Anyone who feel for Ian would have all of his problems to deal with, and he wouldn't blame anyone who tried their hardest to avoid them. It was a miracle that Dr. Richardson had taken him in like he had. He owed so much to that man. If it hadn't been for Dr. Richardson, he would still be the same scared, depressed boy he had been when he went into that mental ward. But Dr. Richardson had changed that. He had made him talk, he had made him start writing those letters, he had fixed everything.

And thinking about that just made him think about how much he owed to Evan. Dr. Richardson had made Remi write to four different people from four different schools who were doing the penpal program. As far as Ian-Alexandre knew, they had been forced to write the letters, but apparently that wasn't true, because Evan had been the only one who wrote back. That week had been horrible for Ian-Alexandre. he was even more childlike then than he was now, and Dr. Richardson had convinced him that these four people would write him back, and would be his friends, and every day he would be waiting for letters that didn't come. And then Evan's letter had come, and his life had never been the same. Evan made him realize that he wasn't worthless like he thought he was. He made him realize that he wasn't as alone as he often thought. He made him feel special without even trying, made him feel like he was good at something. All of those were things he had needed so badly. He had needed a friend, and over the years Evan had become so, so much more. Ian couldn't imagine his life without the other blond, and it killed him to think that life without him was a very big possibility.

Ian-Alexandre was glad when they got to the tree. he had always found it warmer close to the trunk than in the surrounding world. Maybe part of that warmth came from the fact that Evan was standing so close, but Ian wasn't going to argue. He liked having Evan close, he liked being able to feel the warmth radiating off of the boy he loved's body. It was nice, in a way. Ian-Alexandre was so unused to this. Usually when someone stood this close to him it scared him, usually when someone was holding his hand like Evan was it scared him. Hell, it usually made him mad if anyone else came into his tree like he and Evan were right now. But he didn't feel any of that with Evan. He wasn't scared at all, as a matter of fact, he felt safer with Evan than he had with anyone else since the incident. He felt like this was how it was supposed to be, and he would give anything to make sure it stayed that way for the rest of his life, however long or short that may have been. Maybe his hope wasn't as far-fetched as he thought it was, maybe he actually stood a chance. Even if Ian was way more oblivious than the normal human was to picking up on when someone cared for him, surely he wouldn't have felt this safe with Evan if Evan hadn't cared for him just a tiny bit. And that gave him hope that he stood a chance, that maybe he would have Evan by his side forever and ever and ever.

Remi snapped from his thoughts when he felt both of his hands being grabbed, and his eyes opened. He looked up at Evan, smiling again. He hadn't smiled that much in a very long time, and it felt amazing. The small smile grew a tiny bit when Evan said he wanted to draw him, and he just nodded. he probably wouldn't make a great model, since his ADD tended to make staying still for too long very difficult but he would try if it would make Evan happy. He thought back to the question about the box, and planned to answer now, even if he was a little late. he would show Evan eventually, before he left after the wedding. "It's the Evan Box. It's where all your letters are." He smiled, and dropped his eyes to their hands, his bottom lip going between his teeth. He was a little afraid that Evan would think it was weird he kept all of the letters. He really didn't need to, since he had all of them memorized from reading them so often. He had read all of them a million times, and yet he still pulled them out every night and read them again. Not all of them in one night, since there were too many to squeeze into one night, but he read all of them over and over.

It wasn't until Ian-Alexandre looked up at Evan again that he realized just how close they were. It was a little bit nerve-wracking, to be honest. Here he was so close to someone, and the fear hadn't come yet. He was expecting the fear and the paranoia to come at any second, but it didn't. This felt right, this felt like the books made him think it was supposed to feel. Ian stared straight into the other boy's eyes, wishing he could read his thoughts, just so he could have a tiny clue as to whether or not he stood a chance; whether or not his feelings were returned in the slightest bit. He couldn't tell, though. And the longer he stared, the more the urge to kiss him was growing in the back of his mind.

Okay, so maybe the cave plan needed to be counted out. Why wait so long when he could do something then, at that very moment. It probably wouldn't be welcomed by Evan, but he didn't care. He needed to do something that would give him enough courage to say what he needed to, and if kissing him was the only way, then damn it, he would kiss him. Evan was so close, it was making his heart do funny things. The books Alex had read always talked about how the main character's heart would pound, but that wasn't what was happening. It was flopping. Flopping quickly, but still fopping. it felt like there was a fish in his chest that was gasping for air, and jumping around as it did so. And his lungs... they just felt like they had failed. He was having trouble making them do what they were supposed to. He knew he was staring like an idiot, but he couldn't help it. Ian-Alexandre had never, ever felt like this before, and it scared him. It scared him to think that he actually wanted to kiss someone, because that had never happened before. Well, once, but that was before the incident and all the fear that had come with it. It scared him to think that he was the one who wanted to do the touching, but god, he did. Maybe if he was the one who initiated, it wouldn't be so scary. It would have been his choice, after all. And besides, this was Evan. Evan was his hero, he would never hurt Remi.

So, he would do it. It would probably be a huge mistake, but he was going to do it. Ian took a huge breath, and then leaned up and pressed his lips against Evan's. He felt his heart stop, and then start it's mad flopping again, and he let his eyes drift shut. That was all his mind allowed him to do before he realized what he had done. Oh god, Evan would probably hate him now! What was he thinking?! Ian pulled back and tugged one of his hands out of Evan's, covering his mouth with it. "Oh my god. I am so sorry. I don't know why I did that," he mumbled, staring at the roots under his feet. He was terrified now, and not because of the touching. He was terrified that he had just done the stupidest thing he could have, he was terrified he had just done the action that would push Evan away. "Please don't hate me. I'm so sorry. Just don't hate me." He could feel tears now, and that made him feel even worse. Alex never cried, never. Especially not in front of other people. And here the tears were, building up in his eyes. Damn the stupid fear. You would think he would be used to it after three years, but he wasn't. He wasn't at all used to it. It took Alex a few more moments to drop his hand, and this time it did the exact opposite of what his mind told him to, and went straight back to Evan's. This was where his stubbornness came out. If Evan was going to try to run, then damn it, Alex would fight back. He carefully pulled his hands out of Evan's, and then wrapped his arms around the taller boy's waist, his face going straight into his chest.

[ i was gonna wait until tomorrow to post, but i couldn't. XD ]

[ WOULDN'T iT B3 NiC3 TO N3V3R B3 ALON3 iN THiS WAST3D LiF3? ]

[b i z a r r e briefs]

• ••3VAN GiiOVANNii FiiNNiiAN GABR3iiL LAODiiR3•• •

i W0ND3R H0W TH3Y F33L T0NiGHT

3VAN'S A [ Happy So&So ]

It was weird for Evan to feel so powerfully about something and not be able to say it. It was weird that he couldn’t focus when Alex was around, because all he could think about was the boy. Evan was usually the man in the relationship, and he was usually the first to express his feelings towards a person but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t seem to get the words to come out. They kept coming out as replies to what the boy was saying and he was about to burst. He wanted to just tell Alex how he felt but even he knew that there was no way he was willing to give up their friendship. Their friendship was magic. It was pure and honest magic, because there was no other way the friendship they had would have ever came around. It was special, they would always say how they felt from each other and they didn’t hide things. It felt like he was hiding this, almost like he was ashamed. And he wasn’t. He would scream it from the rooftops but he couldn’t just say it and that really killed him. He felt like he was slowly dying in a part of him, but the happiness he had gotten today was able to cover it up. He felt so happy in this moment but he always had that small ache that was just enough to remind him of what a coward he was. Ian made his heart pound and while he stood there just obviously starring at the boy he could feel his heart thought his whole body. He felt like a finger that had a band aid on to tight. It wouldn’t stop. So Evan had to look away. Just maybe if he looked away it was slow and stop. All he wanted it to do was stop.

So he moved his large grey-blue eyes off the boy. It was hard but he did it and he focused on the tree. Looking at the lines of the large tree that Ian seemed to love so much. As he looked he noticed how huge the tree really was, how long it must have to have been in that one place. The roots seemed t o disappear and then come back up again in the oddest of places. But the fun thing was to follow them and to try to figure out which way they went. But then you had to think on how long this tree had been here. It had once been a seed. Something do tiny and small and small you would never consider it could become something so amazing. It had probably turned into a little sprout and then grew and grew. It must have been hundreds of years. The tree was so tall and so vast. There must have been so many memories here. So many good time so many lovers. How much had this tree experienced? If this tree could talk what would it say? What stories would it tell? Would it be wise? He had so many thoughts racing around in his head. He needed to draw this tree. Not wanted, needed. He needed to draw this tree like he needed to tell the boy in front of him. But the real thing was would he ever get the courage or the determination to do either. So Evan moved his eyes away from the tree that fascinated him, and turned to look at the boy he really truly loved, Ian-Alexandre Remington Hauk.

His eyes went straight for Ian’s light blue ones. There was something there though. Something that would momentarily flash through his eyes. He seemed determined and he couldn’t help but lightly squeeze Ian’s hands. What was he thinking of? Evan got the vibes that the boy was about to do something he just wasn’t sure what. He seemed confused and conflicted and he couldn’t help but want to fix whatever was wrong. He had never seen Alex like this he had only looked happy from the time he walked in. Every look was new to Evan, every smile and every step. This was the first time that he had ever seen Ian not through letters. The letters had been comforting to know a person thought of you but to actually meet the person that you have been sending letters to the whole time was an entirely different thing. He had been scared on the plane over that they wouldn’t connect at all. That they wouldn’t become friends and that the only way they had become friend was that they could revise what they said. He had worried that there might be another boy there who made up Alex, but all thought had been diminished when he saw the boy. When he saw the boy standing in the doorway wrapped in a quilt that Evan had given Alex he knew it was him.

Evan slowly realized how close they really were. They were so closer; closer than he had seen earlier and this only made the urge stronger. The urge to kiss him was getting bad and then he felt everything stop and his eyes immediately close. There was lips on his. They were Ian-Alexandre’s. Alex was kissing him! And when he registered this after a second his hands immediately tightened up on Ian’s and kissed lightly back, but before he could even really start kissing the boy pulled back in shock. When he was kissing Ian for those few short seconds his lips were on Ian’s, his lips were on fire and even though Alex didn’t seem to really know what he was doing it was okay with that. The shocker was when the boy he loved pulled away. Did he regret or was it just an accident. It couldn’t be an accident. It had to be on purpose. He would die if it was on accident. He had wanted that so badly and for so long and all he was left with was the want of more. The want of more ached but he soon noticed that Ian was tugging one of his hands out of his hand. Was he going to run away? Because Evan wasn’t going to let that happen. Not until he knew how he felt.

"Oh my god. I am so sorry. I don't know why I did that," he heard Ian say after he covered his mouth with his hand. And these words stung. Did Alex think that he meant nothing to him. Or was he not sure if he even liked the boy. Or was he just playing games? But then the voice of reason came in. Why would Alex, someone who was once so hurt and defeated once try to make him feel that way. That was wasn’t the Ian he knew and loved because that wasn’t his Alex. This was his fear talking. He didn’t want to ruin their relationship and that made his heart leap into his throat. He let out a small smile, sadly he couldn’t see the boys face. He so terribly wanted to see the boys face, but sooner than he thought the voice came again. "Please don't hate me. I'm so sorry. Just don't hate me." The words that came this time stung but not as much as the first time but he still felt his eyes getting watery he still felt the need to hold onto Alex, but before he knew it Alex dropped his hand and with seconds grabbed both again and then pulled away for the third time. This time the pulling was quick and easy and Evan wasn’t fighting all that hard to hold onto the boys hands. He was scared he wanted to know what would happen next. And right after his hands left Ian’s, Ian’s arms were wrapped around his body and he realized that he was crying.

So Evan wrapped an arm around Alex tightly holding him to his body, thinking that hopefully this would be enough to keep Ian-Alexandre with him. He didn’t know what would happen but he needed to look at Remi’s face. Just once, just one more time to stare into those pretty light blue eyes. So with his other hand he ruffled Alex’s hair feeling the tear slide down his own cheeks. His hand traveled down from his hair to his jaw, which he cupped lightly with his palm and attempted to move so he could see the boys face. “Ian-Alexandre, please look at me, please.” he begged sadly in a soft voice looking down at the shorter boy. He wanted to just see his face. Then he could tell the boy everything. Then Ian would know. So he stood there for a few seconds before Alex decided that to turn his head and loosen up his grip on Evans waist, so that his neck was pressed into his stomach. When Evan could finally see Ian’s face he noticed that Ian was crying. This only made the tears come easier he had made Alex cry. Without even meaning to. But he had to control himself. He had to show that he could still be strong, so he sucked it up and whipped his eyes on his hand then placed it back on Ian’s tiny waist letting his other hand lay against Ian’s wet cheek. He had to start. Sooner rather than later, so he took a deep breath and got started.

“Ian, I could never in all my years of life hate you. I don’t see how you could think that there was a way that I could ever hate you.” He said taking a breath before continuing on his voice shaking, the fear evident. “Because personally our friendship is magic. I wouldn’t give it up for anything. You have always been my friend through everything. You didn’t judge me you just kept writing back. There was some days that I thought I lived for those letters life was so bad. You were the one that helped me realize that everything gets better. Than eventually everything will be alright. You’re an amazing boy. Your cute, sweet, helpful, and you always looking out for other people instead of yourself.” And then Evan stopped and he just breathed slowly staring at Alex running a finger down his soft cheek. The thing he said next would either make or break their relationship. Because the next time he spoke to the boy he was just going to admit everything. He was going to tell the boy he was madly, and deeply in love with him and that he cannot live without the boy. He would tell him how long it had been for and so many other things. He wanted Ian to know. He wanted Ian. That’s all he really wanted. He didn’t ever care if he lived in his New York Penthouse with his parents. All he cared about was the boy. So with a deep, shaky breath he got stared, staring at the boy he loved all the while holding him tightly against is body.

“I love you Ian-Alexandre Remington Hauk. I love you so much. I am so madly and deeply In love with you. I wouldn’t want to live without you in my life in some way, and even then it most likely won’t be enough. I don’t care if I ever live in another city, as long as I’m with you, and your by my side, I’m fine. I can live wherever that is. I want to be where ever you are. Because you make the world spin for me.” He said quoting one of the letters he had written to the boy and for once he felt happy. He felt truly happy like for once, even if the boy didn’t feel anything for him back at least he told him how he really felt. At least if he ran away he would know the truth. Which only made it easier to remove his other hand from the boys waist and cup Alex’s face with both hand and look him straight in the face before bringing his lips onto Ian-Alexandre’s. The kiss was soft, it wasn’t forced. It was gentle and persuading, it moved slowly but in reality Evans lips were on fire and begging to go further. But he knew better than to push the boy so he just kissed him. He kissed him for a long time like that his lips barely touching Ians. His hands gliding over the boys face. At Least if this was the last kiss he ever got from Ian it was a good long one. Not that he was going to give the boy up that easily.

When Evan pulled away his heart was gently pounding. It was a quick pound that didn’t hurt to much and was easy to deal with. But before he could give up kissing the boy all together he kissed him again. This time it was a light peck. It was totally different, and Evan regretted nothing. He didn’t regret kissing back the first time, or staring the kiss the second time, or even the third time. All Evan felt was happy. Pure and utter happiness, a feeling which he would probably have to remember because Ian was bound to run away and have a breakdown. Evan wasn’t going to let go of the boy though. He wasn’t going to give up that easily. So he removed his hands from Ian’s face sliding them down before hooking them back around Ian’s waist. For once in all the years that he had known Alex, he felt unsure if the boy would ever want to talk to him again. He had felt this once before but he had gotten a letter back. But this was different. This wasn’t letters this was real life. And in real life you could just run away, or tell someone that you never wanted to see them again. He didn’t want this to happen between the boys but he knew it was very likely. He knew that most likely Ian would hate him and would never want to talk about this or see him. How was he supposed to deal with it? He didn’t know.

[B3N3V0L3NTxF4iiRY___xo]

iAN-AL3XANDR3 [ R3MiNGTON ] HAUK
iRR3SPONSiBL3 CHiLD, G3T A H0LD 0N Y0RS3LF
Ian is [terrified, in a good way]

Ian-Alexandre could safely say he had never been this scared in his entire life. And Alex had been scared out of his wits before, on numerous occasions. He was scared when he thought he was going to bleed to death without anyone noticing, he had been scared after his father saw him kissing his first boyfriend, he had been scared that the nightmares would never end. Those nightmares had been horrible. They would simply be a replay of the night that both ruined and saved his life, from the very beginning to the very end when he passed out. He had been so scared that those nightmares would be with him for the rest of his life, and to be honest; it confused him.Why would his mind block some of his happiest memories, yet keep his worst memories as vivid as if it had just happened? But he had thought those nightmares would never end, and they had. He had been scared every time someone tried to touch him, afraid they would hurt him. But this fear... this was the worst. He was scared he was going to lose the person he loved more than anything, the only person who he felt understood him completely. He had probably just made the biggest mistake of his short life, and it scared him. He was a little surprised that the touching wasn't scaring him, but it wasn't. Ha, Dr. Richardson must have been right; he wasn't scared when it was the person he loved. Such a stupid, stupid thing he had done.

Ian wanted a sign, any sign that Evan didn't hate him. He would have accepted anything. The thought that he was getting ready to lost his hero; the only one who had answered his letters. Surely Evan wouldn't hurt him like that, though. Evan was better than that. Evan was kind, and brilliant, and he seemed like he wouldn't hurt a fly, so why would he run like that? Surely he would just pretend not to despise him. Ian-Alexandre was sure he was cutting off the circulation to Evan's lower half, he was holding on so tightly. This was the boy he had come to depend on so much, and he was so afraid he would just leave. He had never been afraid like this before, and it made him want to die. He didn't deserve someone as amazing as Evan, and he knew it, but the thought of losing him made him want to die. And here he'd done the dumbest thing he could have done; the thing that would ultimately push him away. He had to keep telling himself that he had thought he felt Evan kiss back, though, and if he had, then surely he wouldn't run, right? Why kiss someone back if you were just going to run away when the kiss ended? You wouldn't. That calmed him down a little bit, just enough to make his heart's pounding slow to a less painful pounding, almost back to the flopping.

While he waited for Evan to do anything, he felt the arm around his waist. That calmed him down even more, but then Evan started to talk. The sadness in his voice made Remi want to cry even harder than he already was. He had made Evan sound sad like that, and it hurt him. he hadn't meant to make Evan sad. It took a few moments for what Evan had said to be comprehended, and when it had, Alex's heart and his mind started their battle. His mind was insisting that to avoid the hurt he knew was coming, he should be the one to run away. He should just let go of Evan's waist, and run for the house and the safety of Mrs. Richardson's kitchen. But his heart told him that the fact that Evan had kissed back, and that he had wrapped an arm back around his waist was a god sign. That meant he didn't want Ian-Alexandre to run off, right? So he slowly loosened his grip on the taller boy's waist, and tipped his head up so his chin was pressed against Evan's chest. The tears on the taller boy's face made his come all the harder, and that was when he realized that there was a hand on his face. Why he hadn't noticed it earlier, he didn't know, but he felt it then. It made his heart start to flop again, and he felt a bblush cover his face.

Ian was waiting for the fear. The fear he had become so used to whenever someone touched him. But it wasn't coming. There was no fear at all, just the fear that Evan was going to run off. But there was no fear about the touching. it felt... right. That wasn't something Alex was used to. He was used to being terrified every time someone touched him, especially like this. if it had been anyone else's hand on his waist or his face, he would have been going into an episode. He would have been yelling, and trying to pry their hands off so he could run away and have his episode. Ian never remembered what happened when he had those episodes, all he knew was what Dr. Richardson told him. Those episodes scared him as much as whatever touch started them. He always ended up back in the hospital after he had one, with a doctor watching him to make sure he didn't slip back into another one. Dr. Richardson said that they were scary, and that he always thought Ian_Alexandre was going to physically hurt whoever it was that had sent him into the episode, even if Ian couldn't do much damage because of his size. He suddenly became scared that he would have one of those episodes directed at Evan. Oh god, that would scare Evan off, and then he'd get depressed and they'd put him in the hospital just so he could make sure he wouldn't kill himself. He would be trapped in that white room again, not allowed to go outside, not allowed to talk to any of the other patients for fear that they would scare him. It would be miserable.

Just when Alex was about to get scared that Evan would never say anything, he started to speak. Relief flooded his veins when the first part was over. He didn't hate him. A small sigh passed through the shorter boy's lips as he waited for Evan to continue. His mind started over-analyzing things again, and that sent another shot of fear through his veins. What if Evan didn't hate him, but he thought they couldn't be friends anymore? What if he was going to run off now, what if he was just going to leave? It would kill Remi, it would just kill him. Evan was his hero, the boy who saved him from the hospital. if Evan hadn't wrote back, then he would still be laying in that bed, wishing he could go outside, wishing he could have someone to talk to. he would be lonely, and scared of everyone, and he probably would have tried to kill himself. And if Evan left, never wanted to talk to him again, Ian would end up right back in that hospital, stuck in a permanent depression. He would simply lose the will to survive if Evan left, he depended so much upon him. Evan was the reason he had woke up every morning he was in that hospital, the thought of getting one of those letters and knowing that the boy he loved had at least thought of him made his life worth living. He loved that boy, and that was that. Luckily for him, Evan started talking again.

Alex felt a slow blush crawl over his cheeks as Evan praised him; praise was something he wasn't used to. And the second sentence made his heart sing. He wouldn't give their friendship up for anything. He wasn't going to run, he was going to stay. Ian felt another shot of relief flow through his veins, this time it calmed him down completely. Evan wasn't going to leave. The blush that covered his face just kept growing as Evan spoke, until Evan called him "cute" and he felt like everyone on earth could see it. Evan, the most gorgeous boy on earth, Evan, the boy who had stolen Ian's heart without even trying had called him cute. He felt like a silly schoolgirls with his first crush, and his heart started it's flopping again. Evan called me cute, Evan called me cute. Then he felt the finger run down his cheek. His heart's flopping increased a thousand-fold, and his lungs failed to function. As Ian stared up into the blue eyes he loved so much and waited for whatever came next, he started to get nervous. he didn't know why, but he so wanted to break the silence that came over them for that little time. But his vocal chords refused to work, seemingly permanently frozen. What would he have said, anyways? "My feelings exactly?" Naw, that wouldn't work. So, he just waited.

And what he got made him want to scream. His brain immediately stopped functioning the second the first three words left Evan's mouth, and he was sure he looked like an idiot. he could feel how huge his smile was, and he was positive Evan could see his heart beat in the base of his throat. His heart was flopping madly against his ribcage and his lungs were barely working. Once it finally sunk in that the boy he loved just said that he loved him back, he had the over-powering urge to kiss Evan like he had never kissed anyone before. Ian probably would have made a mess out of that kiss, since he really had no clue when it came to things like that, but it was what he wanted to do. Surely Evan wouldn't mind if he was terrible at it, I mean, could you blame him? He had only been kissed three times; once with the boy that got his two years of torture started, once with Caleb, and then that one just minutes earlier with Evan. Praise the gods that Ian's brother hadn't even tried to kiss him while he was raping him, or this day would have already been much different. But there was the urge to just kiss Evan senseless. Luckily enough, Evan kissed him first. The kiss was so gentle and soft that it made Alex's heart cry, but not for long, before he realized that Evan was kissing him. The boy he loved, the boy who loved him, was kissing him.

That kiss ended far too soon, in Alex's opinion. But then he got the peck, and that made him feel a little bit better. It might not have been as long as he wanted it to be, but a kiss was a kiss after all. If Ian-Alexandre's hadn't been so preoccupied with staring up into those grey-blue eyes he loved, he probably would have pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming,. He had had a dream like this a million times, where he and Evan would be under this tree talking, but he always woke up just as one of them was about to say those three words. As Evan's hands slipped back down to Ian's waist, he smiled up at the older boy, reaching a hand up to rest on the back of the taller boy's neck. Now he just had to convince his vocal chords to work. He wanted so badly to tell Evan just how much he loved him, but his voice just would not work. So he contented himself with petting the hair under his hand until he could make them work. it took a few moments, but he finally felt like he could speak. "I love you so, so much Evan. I've wanted to tell you since way before I got out of the hospital, but I was just so scared. I thought you would hate me, and that you'd stop writing." He smiled at the older boy, and stopped the movement of his hand, letting himself stare for a moment.

"I love you Evan. I've loved you for more than a year, and I think about you constantly. I can't make myself stop thinking about you, and I haven't been able to for a very, very long time," he said quietly, leaning up enough to press his forehead to Evan's Now that he had started talking he felt like he couldn't stop, and he had so much to say. "I don't think I can explain to you how much it hurt every time you would talk about whoever you were with in your letters, but I would remind myself that you were at least talking to me, and that was enough. I thought I was going to be in that hospital forever, and that even if I did tell you and you felt the same way it wouldn't matter because I was stuck there." He shook his head slowly, and then sighed, pressing a quick peck to Evan's lips. "But now you're here, and you love me too, and I'm just so happy." He smiled, and then closed his eyes and pressed another kiss to Evan's lips, hoping that this one would last a good, long time.

[ ugh. i had this written except for the last paragraph last night, and then lightning struck the tree across the street and the power went out. >.< so it sucks, ]

[ WOULDN'T iT B3 NiC3 TO N3V3R B3 ALON3 iN THiS WAST3D LiF3? ]

[b i z a r r e briefs]

• ••3VAN GiiOVANNii FiiNNiiAN GABR3iiL LAODiiR3•• •

i W0ND3R H0W TH3Y F33L T0NiGHT

3VAN'S A [ Happy So&So ]

Everything was out in the open now. Alex knew everything and for once it felt nice to be so open. He wasn’t hiding anything from the boy now except the gift in the trunk of his car. That was something he was happy about giving though and the things that he had been hiding from the boy had been something important. The thing he had been hiding had been deep and pure. He had been keeping the secret that he was in love with Ian-Alexandre Remington Hauk. He hadn’t been hiding it well. Once his mother had seen him getting a letter from Alex, and she watched and he sifted quickly through all the mail to find the one certain piece. She watched him do it every day she was out of the hospital, and the first time he got a letter when she was around she watched as his face broke out into smiles, to the point where he couldn’t stop and his eyes were open and he felt alive. She noticed all of this and she told him that he was in love with the boy. This was way before he even realized that he had feelings at all. But from that day on he started to feel something, something constant and unwavering and it was only out because his mother made him realize it. She made him realize that he was in love with Alex.

The moments after he told Alex and finished kissing him were moments of pure fear. Of course he had thought he had felt Alex kiss back but he wasn’t sure, but some part of him told himself that there had to be something there. He had kissed Evan first. It had to have meant something. If it hadn’t meant anything what did he do it for? It had to have meant something. Those were the words that repeated in his head over and over again. When he told the boy he had watched the look on Alex’s face. He watched the boys eyes light up, he could feel how fast the boys heart had been beating. It had been just as madly fast as his had been in that moment and that couldn’t have meant nothing. How would a reaction like that mean that I meant nothing. Truth of the matter was that it meant something and it was more that Alex was telling him in the silence. He wanted to know what would happen next the silence was killing him. He hated silence especially in moments like this . Couldn’t he just spit it out?

The silence increased but then something happened. He felt Alex reach up and put his hand on the back of his neck. The weird thing was it felt amazing. And then Alex started petting the back of his neck and oh, the feelings he got. It felt better than some of the dirties t things he had done in his life and it took all his will power not to arch his back. Why was he such a horn dog. He never meant to be his body was just ‘reactive’ or so he had been told. Maybe he was just a freak but it felt really good and Alex didn’t seem to notice because he kept doing it. And it got better and better until it was just a numb pleasure I the background. He could focus on Alex now. Alex was what he wanted and what he needed and he seemed to have trouble getting his vocal cords to work. He would give Alex all the time in the world if he needed it. As long as after all that time he finally got to hear what the boy had to say. And when the boy was finally ready to speak Evan definitely wasn’t ready for what was about to come out.

The first words that came out of Evans mouth made his heart stop and made his stomach leap into his ribcage. He felt like he couldn’t breathe and he felt extremely happy all at the same time. Ian loved him. Ian really, really loved him. It was like a firework had gone off inside his body. He was in love with a boy who loved him back. Ian loved him back. He could understand the fear of rejection, but ian loved him back and that’s all that mattered to him and he was just so ready to kiss the boy silly until Ian didn’t want to be kissed but him anymore, for fear of lose of lips. But then Ian paused and just stared at him. His pretty blue eyes were intoxicating and he was so ready to just start kissing him again. A part of him was wild and wanted to make sweet love to the boy and touch every part of him with his lips. But his rational side that that wasn’t the greatest idea he had ever had. That side told him that Ian and himself would need time before he was able to relinquish that beast. It also told him that Ian, had more to say. Of course, that side was right.

The next words to come out of Ian’s mouth were just as sweet and just as heartwarming. The boy even proceeded to put his forehead against his. The words just kept coming out of the younger boys mouth. Some of the words that came out stung Evan. Though he tried not to show it and the happiness was able to cover it up. Alex was his now and that’s all that mattered. He was Ian sans that’s all that mattered to him. Ian was here, they were in love with each other. And no matter if Caleb was jealous, or if Dr. Richardson didn’t approve it was something that none of them could take away from himself or Ian. It was there’s to share. And when Alex finally finished talking, when Alex finally finished saying how much he loved Evan. He kissed him. Alex kissed him but it was a peck and then went on to say words that made his heard melt. And then he watched the boy as he closed his eyes (he did the same) and then proceeded to press his lips to Evans, and oh what a joy it was.

This kiss was different from all the others. It stared out soft and gentle, letting Evans arms move to cup Alex’s face so he could really kiss the boy. It changed from there and Evan was able to let a little slice of the sexual monster out. This slowly changed the kiss and deepened it. To the point where Evans tongue was gliding over Alex’s bottom lip. Evan, of course, had done this many, many times before. He had experience, and Alex knew it. This was easy for him but in reality it was better than all the others. To Evan it felt like he had just swallowed a bottle of Tabasco Sauce. His lips were on fire and every place Ian’s hands were was on fire. He felt like it was a movie, because everything was going just so perfectly. Evan couldn’t keep his lips off of Ian’s. And everything was right. So slowly Evan backed off from the many kissed they had just shared coming up for air when needed. He kissed the boy over and over again his kisses getting softer and softer before pulling away and shutting the monster back in his closet. But before he could give up completely his kissed the boy again for a few more seconds.

“I love kissing you,” he said smiling madly placing a peck on Alex’s lips. Kissing Alex was addictive. It was like a drug and he didn’t know how he could have missed this. This was great. “So do I get to meet everyone?” He asked wondering about Ryan and Harmony and Caleb. He wanted to meet everyone. He had heard so much about them in the letters that he was anxious to meet all of them. He wanted to get all of the gifts out of the car though if he was going to meet them. He also had to get his suitcases. Evans head was still bent against Ian’s and one of his arms was around Alex’s waist while the other arm had a hand on his face. He loved this. It was perfect and wonderful. “ I love you so, so much Ian-Alexandre,”

[B3N3V0L3NTxF4iiRY___xo]

iAN-AL3XANDR3 [ R3MiNGTON ] HAUK
iRR3SPONSiBL3 CHiLD, G3T A H0LD 0N Y0URS3LF
Ian is [so in love]

This day could not have gotten any more perfect, no matter what happened that might dampen it. Ian-Alexandre didn't even think Caleb going insane and trying to hurt one or both of them would make it a bad day, by any stretch of the word. How could it? No matter what anyone said to them, be it Dr. Richardson not approving (which he doubted would happen, since he had been the one to tell Alex he was in love with Evan) or Caleb doing something stupid out of jealousy (which wasn't too hard to imagine, actually) or Ryan freaking out and being disgusted (also not hard to imagine) it would still be perfect. Ian-Alexandre had been in love with Evan for so long that to know he was loved back made him want to dance and sing. He wanted to climb onto the roof and shout it to the trees. Evan loved him back. Evan, the most amazing, gorgeous, talented boy in the whole world loved him. Of all the people out there, most of them a million times better than he was, Evan was in love with him. If his mind hadn't been turned into mush by the fact that Evan was kissing him, he probably would have been over-analyzing and doubting everything about this. But he was being kissed, and so amazingly.


Ian-Alexandre might not have had much to compare all of Evan's kisses to, but he could safely guess that Evan was probably one of the most amazing kissers out there. He could only imagine how horrible he must be at this compared to some of the people Evan had kissed. He literally had no clue what he was doing, he was just letting his body do what it wanted. He could only hope that he was horrible, and ruining everything. See, now he was scared. Maybe nervous was a better word for it. It wasn't like he was afraid Evan was going to hurt him, far from it. He was loving all the feelings and sensations everything Evan was doing to him was making him feel. He was just scared he would mess everything up. He forced his mind to turn off as the kisses deepened, and let his instincts take over. He felt the hand that was resting on Evan's neck twine into his hair, the other hand resting on Evan's chest. He was positive that if the tree wasn't at his back, and that if Evan hadn't had a hold on his waist, he probably would have crumpled into a little pile by the time the kisses were slowing down.


Alex couldn't help but smile when Evan spoke, feeling all of his fears slowly disappear. So maybe he wasn't too bad at it. He smiled after the quick peck, staring into the grey-blue eyes he loved. "Good, because I love it when you kiss me." Ian felt like his smile was never going to go away. He hadn't smiled this much in such a long time, and he loved it so much. Alex had never thought one person could make him so giddy. He felt like his cheeks were going to fall off from smiling so long and the funny thing was he didn't care at all. He had never been so happy, and it was all because of the boy who was currently holding him. Of course he would get to meet everyone... just not then. As far as Ian knew, Dr. Richardson was at work. Mrs. Richardson was probably preoccupied with wedding stuff, or the babies, and who knew what the other three were doing. Before Alex had the time to come up with a reply, he was told he was loved and another huge smile blossomed on his face. One thing he knew for certain; he would never be tired of hearing those words from Evan. "I love you too, Evan. With all my heart."


Ian-Alexandre felt a small,happy sigh escape his lips as he leaned up for a quick peck, shifting so the both of his arms were around Evan's neck. He could have stood like that all day, just holding the boy he loved and knowing that he didn't have to move, but the sounds of squeals coming from the direction of the house caught his attention. With a tiny frown, Ian shifted enough to see around the trunk, just in time to see Harmony flying towards them as fast as her little legs could carry her. Ryan's frustrated yells could be heard from inside of the house, and if it wasn't for the fact that Ian was wearing his contacts and not his glasses (he preferred his glasses since he can see better with them, but Harmony often convinced him to wear the contacts so she could see his eyes), he would have seen why. Harmony had thrown a blanket on Ryan, and since the tall boy had been running at the time, he managed to get his legs and arms tangled in it. Ian couldn't see that, though, so he was just a tiny bit nervous. He tightened his grip around Evan's neck when Harmony came crashing around the trunk and right into his side, obviously trying to get as well-concealed behind the trunk as possible.


"Oh my god, hide me Remi. Your brother is demented and he's trying to rape me. God, horn dog can't even wait one more day for sex. I mean, I'm not saying I wouldn't love it if he raped me, but still," Harmony said, her voice a harsh whisper. She didn't even look at Evan, even though she definitely knew he was there. That was why she was out there, after all. She was there to make sure everything worked perfectly for them. The fact that Ryan was being a horn dog and trying to force her into sex was just a perfect excuse. "Are you serious? I always knew he was a little slut, but still. Can't even go three months without sexing you up, huh?" Alex shook his head, moving the tiny bit it took to peek around the trunk of the tree to watch for Ryan. "And just so you know, it's not rape if you're in love with the raper. Rapist? Whatever. And trust me, you wouldn't love it. Being raped is just... bleh. It hurts." Had it been anyone other than Harmony who had used the whole rape thing that lightly, Ian-Alexandre probably would have tried to hurt them. But it was Harmony, and he couldn't be mad at her for very long. He had learned a long time ago that any time Ryan wanted sex and she didn't, she would say he was trying to rape her. Didn't stop him from correcting her every time, though.


"Oops, sorry Remi. I forgot." She shot the blond a small smile, and then ducked further into Alex when he motioned that he saw Ryan. It wasn't long after that that Ryan's voice could be heard on the other side of the tree. "Reeemiii, I know you're hiding my baby from me. If I wasn't afraid that you and little Evan there were making out, and would come around get her," the voice was quiet, obviously pleading, but Ian could sense the humor below the surface. Soon after the last word had been said, two hands found Alex's ribcage, and were flexing like they would tickle at any moment. They wouldn't; Ryan knew better than most that it would just set Ian off, but he would threaten since he knew the short blond couldn't feel his hands through the fluff of his coat. Harmony huffed a dramatic sigh, and moved away from Ian, grabbing her fiance's hands in the process. "Don't harm the boy, I'm coming. NOT to do what you want, though. We're going to go choose your clothes for tonight." She disappeared behind the tree for a moment, only to show up seconds later with Ryan in tow. She arched an eyebrow at Alex, obviously expecting introductions.


"Oh, um, this is Evan. And Evan, that's Harmony and Ryan." Ian barely had the words out of his mouth before Harmony had grabbed one of Evan's hands, and given it a hearty shake. Ian knew what was to come, and he could only hope he wouldn't crack up. "I see you've staked your claim on my best friend. I just have to say, for your sake, that you'd better not hurt him in any way, shape, or form. If I see him cry one more tear because of you, I will personally see to it that you're castrated." Okay, Ian-Alexander couldn't help it, he laughed. To hear something so threatening coming from someone as tiny and harmless as Harmony, and with a smile on her face the entire time, no less... It just cracked him up. "But seeing as I haven't seen him smile like he is right now in a long time, I'd say you have nothing to worry about. Just don't you dare hurt him." That was it, though. Ian wasn't done with his alone time with the boy he loved just yet. So, he placed his hands on Harmony's back, and gently pushed her towards Ryan, giving him a pleading look. The older boy gave a sigh, and started to drag his fiance off, but not without a final word. "You'd better not be getting any, Remi. I swear, if you do, and I don't... Things will be killed. Green things that live in a glass house will be killed, if you catch my drift," Ryan said, the sarcasm he was using not noticeable. Ryan was the king of sarcasm; it was nearly impossible to tell when he was using it. Alex could tell, though.


Ian-Alexandre felt one of those horrible blushes start to climb up his collar-bone, and onto his face, so he did the only thing he could think of to hide it; he turned his face into Evan's chest. Might as well start his apologies for his family now before they got everyone together and the real playfulness started. The entire Richardson family was like that; sarcastic to the max and as close-knit as you could get. Dinners with them were insane, and he could only imagine how hard poor Evan was going to get it when Dr. Richardson met him. Ian could almost picture the interrogation... ugh. "I am so sorry about them. It usually doesn't bother me, but still. I'm sorry. It's just gonna get worse. Dale will interrogate you, and Julie... well, I dunno what she'll do." Ian hadn't told Evan the Richardsons' real names yet because he had been afraid it would confuse him if he went from calling them Dr and Mrs Richardson to Dale and Julie in the letters like he had when he talked to them. Oh well, he would probably assume. "Do you want to get your bags now, or later," he asked, finally pulling his face out of Evan's chest so he could look up at him. He was so gorgeous. With another small smile, he stole a quick kiss.

hestolemyheart_____________________________✖✖

[b i z a r r e briefs]

• ••3VAN GiiOVANNii FiiNNiiAN GABR3iiL LAODiiR3•• •

i W0ND3R H0W TH3Y F33L T0NiGHT

3VAN iiS [ So in LOVE ]

With Ian’s arms around his neck he felt like he could do anything thing. He felt like he could be anyone, or become anyone. He felt absolutely invincible. It was like he was able to fly because he had Alex by his side. Alex freed him and gave him great courage and strength and kissing the boy was like nothing he would have ever imagined. They could be comforting and soft, and move all the way to hot and spicy in a matter of seconds and it was only just beginning. He had barley met the boy more than a couple of hours ago but the letters had done so much for them. They knew each other and loving each other hadn’t been anything new. But now that each other knew everything was going perfectly. Ian already seemed to be getting used to their lips touching. He was pretty sure little Ian liked it to because first of all he said so and second of all he kept kissing him. Not that Evan minded she loved the pecks that Alex gave him. One day kissing would be easy for Alex, but for now Evan was fine leading the in the kissing. It let him make himself control his little beast before doing it so that he would make sure that he didn’t let it go too far and send the kid back into relapse. He didn’t want Ian to get hurt and if he ever knew that somehow what he was doing to Ian hurt him he would leave without any questions. All he really wanted was Ian happy.


The moment Ian turned his head so did evan. He could hear the squeals that were coming in the direction of the house just like any other person with decent hearing. The voice was girly and when he turned he saw what the commotion was all about. A young girl with bright red hair was running towards them a large trunk in her arms. She seemed short and small but petite all at the same time and then something clicked in his mind. After all the letter were Ian had told him about her how could he not recognize her sooner? The girl that was running was Harmony. The Harmony that Ryan was marrying and his long time girlfriend who had a twin sister who was miles taller than her and one of her brides maids, who looked like a giant celery in the dress. This was the Harmony that had taken Alex to the mall and gotten his lips pierced and made him go dress shopping because it was his job. Evan loved her. She had let him come to the wedding and look at them now, the wedding wasn’t for another day but he got to find out that Ian-Alexandre loved him back because of Harmony. In Evans mind she was amazing. And then he heard Ryan in the background and he smiled at that. Ryan, though a homophobe, was Ian’s brother. He was the one who frequently helped open Ian’s gifts and stole things from them but that’s what brothers did. He was glad that Ian had a brother who cared that much about him.


Harmony was able to get there in a matter of seconds after seeing her. Even with the trunk in her arms she moved quickly, watching as she ran right into Ian’s right side feeling Ian’s arms tighten on his neck, which made him lightly kiss the boy before turning to see Ryan covered in a blanket trying to run, yelling frustrated across the ground. Watching him do this was pure amusement for Evan. It was mean and he knew it but he couldn’t help but smile because Ryan was so amusing. He was an easily amused human though so it didn’t surprise him, but what Harmony harshly whispered surprised him. She was talking about rape. Or was that just his mind playing tricks on him. No she had said it for sure. He felt her words eco in his head and he tighten his arms around Ian’s waist. But nothing happened Ian just said something back, totally talk-a-tive, totally happy. This surprised him, but Evan guessed it was okay for Harmony to say something like that, she knew about what had happened but she was also his best friend and Alex probably already knew that she wasn’t serious. What amused him more was that she apologized after.


The most amusing part came next, and it was all Ryan. Ryan was at the tree now, and his voice came in a pleading whisper which made his smile stick. But the next words to come out made him push a laugh back down his throat. He called him little. Evan was anything but little except in waist size. He was six feet tall and though he knew the Ryan was taller than him he couldn’t help but think that it was so hilarious and he got this really big urge to kiss Alex. The word rang in his head. “If I wasn't afraid that you and little Evan there were making out….” It was nice to be called little to though. Most people thought of him as huge. He didn’t know many people who were taller than him. Or even close to his height. He was happy though, he was with Ian. He loved the boy, and would do anything for him, he would die for the boy. Not that he would tell him that. He didn’t need to think that he was going to lose him anytime soon. After agreeing to come out Harmony left for a few seconds which let Evan kiss Ian softly until he heard footsteps again and pulled back, feeling better now that he finally had most of that urge out of his system. But when they came around this time Evan was pretty sure of what they were going to do. Introductions where coming because from the look on Harmony’s face she wanted one so he loosed his grip on one of the boys hips so he could shake hands with either person.


Finally Ian-Alexandre introduced him, and Harmony took his hand and shook it without another thought. He shook back just as hard as she did, before listening to her start her lecture. The weird thing was she started off with a smile, and didn’t even bother to change her tone of voice. She just talked as if they were going to watch a movie later or her favorite TV show. He could tell she was totally serious. She didn’t look like she could hurt a fly but he knew that if he made Ian cry he would be castrated on the kitchen table. And oh would that hurt but hearing Ian laugh made his hear pound and he couldn’t help but want to pull the boy closer though he managed to retrain himself. The next part that came on a lighter note. It was happier but their was still a warning at the end. He could understand this though. If it had been his best friend it would have been exactly the same way. A few seconds later he watched as Ryan sighed and started dragging Harmony off toward the house the trunk in Harmony’s hands. But Ryan had to get the last word is so he spoke and it made Evan choke up with laughter. He didn’t mean to but just the thought. And hopefully Ryan wasn’t serious. But in reality it would be a long time before they actually did anything. He wasn’t sure if Alex would ever be comfortable with actually having sex with him. He was okay with that though. He knew that one day he would feel like he needed more but, for now it was alright.


Ryan and Harmony left leaving them alone but also leaving him to see a blush creep up the boys face and oh did he look beautiful. But then he went and hid his face in Evans chest and now he was hidden and Evan couldn’t see his face anymore. But oh he wanted to. He thought the boy was gorgeous, and beautiful, and he could probably stare at him all day. He had the prettiest blue eyes, they were so big and blue and he could always see what the boy was feeling. Hopefully one day he would be able to identify what it was for sure but for now, he was pretty sure the boy was just embarrassed. He was confirmed about this by apologizing which of course Evan didn’t think was needed. He was fine with what had happened not to mention they were Alex’s family. The whole time Alex talked he didn’t say anything. He knew that he would have his time he let the boy go on about how this was only the beginning and how it could only get worse. And how he would be interrogated, and have things done to him. He wasn’t worried about it though he had expected all of this, this was normal. “Ian-Alexandre, love, stop worrying and apologizing, they are your family and they love you. And I’m in love with you and they come with you. I can deal with all of it. They are a part of you and I love every single itsy-bitsy piece of you. What Harmony did was cute and out of love, you know that. So I do I. And I’m not worried. When I get worried you’ll be able to tell.” He said smiling leaning down to give the boy a soft kiss. Then in a quiet tone he added, “I wish you wouldn’t hide your face from me, you’re so gorgeous and you don’t even realize it, especially when you blush.” He said after pulling back, whispering it into the boys ear, his hot breath on Ian’s neck.


He pulled back and just looked at Alex, he just took a long stare and sighed, he felt like the luckiest man alive, and Ian didn’t even know. Ian could probably see it on his face though. His expressions were things you could always bluntly see one his face no matter how he tried to hide them. He wouldn’t have made a good FBI agent or any job that had lying as part of it. He was a horrible liar, and he knew it which made it oh so much easier to just tell the truth then get in more trouble for lying. Evan waited a few more seconds before replying to Ian’s last question, “Yeah, I guess we can go get my bags, I also have presents,” he said kissing the boys nose, and then on a random note he added, “Your addictive you know that?” he said kissing the boy again before lifting the boy up into his arms holding him like Ryan might hold Harmony on their wedding day. Ian’s arms were still around his neck but Evans arms were holding up Ian’s legs and back as he walked slowly to the car in a comfortable silence something that didn’t happen often but it seem like almost every silence they had was comfortable, except for the ones when it was meant to be awkward. Anyways this pleased Evan. He loved the boy so dearly that he couldn’t explain and for right now just holding him was enough. It was just enough to have him there and he knew better than to say this aloud but what would happen when he left, some parts of his mind told him he couldn’t leave, others said to take Alex with him and others told him that they needed to know that they might not always be together, and that they needed so see if they could make it but some parts didn’t want to bear leaving the boy he loved.


Slowly but surely they reached the car, which was parked on the street. Evan knew exactly what was inside his car but he knew that with the snow they needed a dry place. The porch was open to the elements but had a swing. So as he approached the porch he decided that that would be the perfect place for his love to be placed. So he headed towards the swing and carefully sat him down kissing the boys forehead. “Now I’m going to get the presents out of the car, and I’m not going to let you help me, so get comfortable love,” he said smiling before jogging off to his Porsche. He had a black Cayenne GTS, which he loved. It was packed to the brim though. He had them bring it over to the airport four days before he left so he was sure it would make it and he left it stuffed to the brim, with his suitcases and presents for other people. The first present he decided to bring out was Harmony and Ryan’s since they were the ones getting married. Their present took up his whole back seat, and so he pulled the basket out first. The basket was literally big enough to lay in. it could have been a piece of furniture. But it wasn’t terribly heavy so Evan managed to set it down on the porch with ease before running back to grab the canvas, and setting them before Alex. Now your job is too look at these to presents for Harmony and Ryan and seeing if they like him. “You look at those and tell me what you think. I’ll go get the rest,” he said stealing a kiss from the boy, before going back and working.


The basket was filled with bedding, Harmony had said they needed bedding and so Evan had gotten them bedding. It was in every color and style you can have almost any room and find one of these that would be a decent match. There was so many different colors, and he had tried to stay somewhat close to the color of the bedding that they had registered for at target. They had been registered for some green bedding, white with green, blue and pretty much all of the colors so the basket had come out looking like a rainbow. There was fourteen different beddings in the basket, plus sheets and down comforters but he wasn’t going to tell them that he was just going to let them see. He had also snuck in a few room fresheners and some soap. These didn’t exactly go but he loved them so he thought it would just be fun to stuck them in. The other part of their present was a huge three feet wide by five feet tall canvas that had a painted picture of Ryan and Harmony. Evan had tried so hard on it spending hours upon hours trying to get everything exactly right and trying to picture Ryan with contacts. It had come out well. It looked a lot like the picture but he thought it could have been done better. His father on the other hand said it looked exactly to detail especially the faces. But then again his father wasn’t the artist.


He had gotten presents for anyone but he had to say that the one that was the most fun to get was Julia Richardson’s. He had had tons of fun shopping for her because when he heard she was Italian he sort of assumed that she liked to cook. So he went to his favorite designer cooking store and went shopping. He loved giving people cooking gifts because they actually used them. Like his mother said. “it’s not like one morning I’m going to wake up and think, oh lets drop a few thousand dollars spending money for new kitchen supplies, “ this was true, but he would gladly drop a few hundred. He knew that most people didn’t think about buying new kitchen stuff unless he needed it. So he went and had fun with it. So he started with the silicone appliances and ended up getting her a set of spatula’s, four new whisks, jumbo silicone baking cups (for muffins or cup cakes) and then moved on. He picked up three new handheld juicers which he owned and found worked very well. He picked up a microplane, which was great for grating things and finally he got her a peeler. And then he put in a beautiful green serving bowl, and wrapped it in cello wrap. He then proceeded to add a bow and put on a tag and he managed to hide a card in, thanking her for inviting him into her home and for having Ian there, and letting him feel like he had a family again and belonged somewhere, because truthfully everyone wanted to belong somewhere.


The next one he grabbed from the car was Caleb’s. He didn’t even know if Caleb would even like him but he could always try. Evan had assumed though that Caleb would probably hate him for the most part because he had ‘stolen’ Ian from him. Caleb had loved him and told him before Evan ever had the guts to. He had been there first and personally if Evan had been in the same position he wouldn’t much like the other person either so he had went to great lengths to get the boy a present he would like. Caleb’s present was wrapped traditionally in a bag with tissue paper but was easily undone. Inside there was a card, and all it did was thank Caleb for taking the time to get to know Ian and for being his friend, and for making him so happy. But the letter was sealed in an envelope with Caleb written on the front. Each present had a card; all of them thanking the person for being there for Ian. Inside the bag other than a card there was a par of pants. The pants had been the hardest part he had to talk to Greg to see what pant size he wore and oh, it got awkward quickly. Mostly because Greg thought Evan wanted to jump his bones, and Greg was ready to do just that. But other than that it hadn’t been miserably hard. The pants were teal zebra stripes, and they were a skinny as ever, but he loved them and had gotten a par for himself and if Ian wanted them too he would get a pair for the boy. There was only two other things that were in the bag, were a chasing victory shirt and their CD both signed by the band. He didn’t want to tell Ian this just in case he would get jealous but he could always get another one of those to it was just stuff.


The hardest present he had to buy was Dale’s, or Dr. Richardson. He had done so, so much for Ian. He had helped Ian in the hospital, and made sure he didn’t hurt himself, and even though he analyzed Ian-Alexandre’s brain, he was so grateful to the man. He was the one who made Ian start writing to people and without that he would never have been able to write back. And now after writing back look where Ian-Alexandre was. Look at where Evan was. They were completely in love with each other and he could gladly say he had never felt this feeling before. They were amazing, and without Dr. Richardson he wouldn’t have felt this way. So he had ended up getting Dale a briefcase, from Louis Vitton. It was black and made out of fine leather, and it was beautiful. But Evan had to say that the focal point of the whole gift was inside the briefcase. Inside the case was a letter to Dale, just telling him everything and thanking him for everything. It covered everything he had wanted to sat in ten pages. The pages were in a regular envelope but on the outside were his name was under it in small letters it read, “please read later, when Ian isn’t around,” it wasn’t that he didn’t want Ian to know about the letter, he just felt that it was better if Ian didn’t know how much he was thanking the small family.


Each time Evan got a new present out of the car he would hand to Alex and move the old one away, and tell him who it was for. It became an easy thing as the minutes passed and he and Alex had gotten a rhythm down, which Evan broke occasionally to kiss Ian senseless because he couldn’t go more than a few minutes without kissing the boy and if he did that it felt like it lasted longer. The last thing he pulled out of his car was his luggage and something from the glove box before climbing back up the stairs slowly lugging them up the steps. It wasn’t painful though it was just he was tired of carrying stuff. So as soon as he was somewhat close to the boy he sped up and dropped his suitcases in the appropriate spot. Then jumped over a gift or to and found himself next to Ian. He took the Twins presents out of his hand and set it on the ground, snuggling up into the boy and wrapping his arms around him. He kissed Alex’s cheek softly before talking. “So do you think that everyone will like them?” he asked softly into the boys ear very, very tempted to lick his earlobe. He knew that Evan hadn’t gotten his present yet and might have felt a little left out. Anyone would have if you looked at the gifts. They were all very elaborate, even if they weren’t big. And Ian had nothing in his hands, but Evan hadn’t forgotten about him. Evan probably never could do that. “I haven’t for gotten about you,” he said moving one hand and reaching into his pocket putting out two little black boxes.


Anyone would have wondered what was in those black boxes. They were small and fancy little boxes and if you were any girl that Evan knew, you knew it was jewelry. But Evan didn’t say anything about what was inside them, he just checked on of the bottoms of the boxes before handing Ian his. “Now, Ian, before you open them I have to say something.” He said smiling at the boy before saying something he was sure about. “I am so absolutely sure than I’m in love with you, Ian-Alexandre. I have never felt this amazing or this lucky, ever in my life, and I feel it every second I’m with you.” Evan said smiling as he tried to find the words. This was harder than Evan thought it would be and hopefully the words would just keep coming. Moving over, he clicked Ian’s little box open. Inside the box was a beautiful platinum ring, which on the inside had an inscription, ‘You make the world spin’. He wouldn’t bother to tell Ian because he thought it would make a better surprise. But on the inside of his it said what Ian said when he replied, and with a smile Evan continued by opening his own box which had a matching ring. “I’ve had them for a few weeks now; they’ve been sitting in the glove compartment of my car ever since I knew that I was coming to the wedding. I guess that I thought by coming to the wedding, by meeting you that I might find the right time to do this, and now I have.” After that he didn’t know what to say. So Evan just asked a simple question which he already knew the answer to. “Will you wear it?” he asked softly wondering