Slyfo
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The darkness was wrapped around him like a comforting blanket, one of which had only once before been cast onto him before the apocalypse. Yes, Kaidan remembered well. It was when his friends and family began to treat him differently, when they began to see him as insane and incapable and treated him like the common mentally retarded student. Like he couldn’t be normal, like he couldn’t make his own path in life… no, he just saw things, we compelled to say things. He wasn’t stupid—in fact he was quite bright. His demeanor had changed, not his intelligence. They lost faith in him… and he lost trust in them. That’s what made him truly crazy, being abandoned and branded as hopeless. It was intriguing to watch them die a few years later, and before making his own escape he watched their expressions bleed. Their first reaction was from the pain and fear, then next came the anger out of not being able to defend themselves or their family. One thing they all had in common in the end was a look of regret on all the decisions they had made in their life. Were human minds so feeble that they must careen out of life with thoughts only one what they did wrong? What was it that they regret the most; the things they have done, or haven’t? Death was terrifying, and Kaidan wished not to dwell too much on it. Pain was something he was all too familiar with, and he could be numb to that. Death, however, was an eternity of pain and regret. That was one such fate he did not yet wish to face.
The red light blinked slowly, dimming out until it nearly left existence, then suddenly returning back to full brightness before beginning its slow descent once more. How tragic, to be stuck in such a lamenting circle. Constantly on the verge of being put out forever before emerging and thrown back into the fray. An Octavarium of suffering, stuck in a loop of constant disappointment. This light represented him, as he could see. He had tried ending his life before not a year after the epidemic took place. He had found a quiet place to huddle and stay safe from the lurking monstrosities, bottled up like the pills he clutched so tightly. It was his remaining supply and he needed to preserve what he had. The problem became his will, not his sanity, and in an instant the bottle was empty. It flung him into an episode of seizures and blackouts- getting sick in the times he was conscious and floating aimlessly in the times he wasn’t. He hurt, badly, and it wouldn’t go away. It was then that his friends appeared, speaking of recovery. They helped him focus and overcome his mistake and guided him to safety. He had so much trust to put in them at the time and their relationship became stronger than a parent’s. However that all didn’t matter now; he was back in the dimming and was lumbering back into a lonesome he had forgotten over this short time. Regret was beginning to set in, and that scared him more than anything else. Regret was a sign of failure, of giving up—of death. He wasn’t ready for death, nor was he ready to continue. Struggling in this new limbo he had created left him gripping his head with both hands and curling as small as he could. The bashing at the door no longer held his attention, nor the hissing and screeching of the undead yowling for their caged dinner. No, the void of this room was set into a silence so serene, that when Kaidan closed his eyes, he could almost remember a time when none of this mattered, before he changed his views on life.
At that moment he could hear a voice sounding much like Alice. It had a questioning tone that was dripping in compassionate softness. He looked up, eyes widening in disbelief as the room had lit into a park, one he was barely familiar with. Had he been here before? The trees were familiar, etched and carved with the names of those forever remembered upon its bark. The grass, stamped from use by the children or animals, picnics and get-togethers that were common at the time. Kaidan sat on a bench off to the side, long planks of old wood stretching to its rain-rusted frame which curled in expensive ways, a plaque resting on the back as a memoriam of its donation. He hardly bothered to read it, his focus taken to a young lady standing not too far away from him and spinning in the broken light parted by the canopy the massive birch provided. The light danced in her unkempt hair, the wind brushing it in long, amber waves and gracefully resting on the arch of her back. He skin fair as the light around her, the faint blue on her sundress transposed onto the ground with every movement, ever changing. As she stopped her circling, her body faced opposite of his and she peaked over her shoulder in a cute display. Her eyes absorbed the sun and lit brightly in a piercing green that was the centerpiece of attention. Her groomed eyebrows tweezed thing in a tight curve, an abundance of glee and optimism poured from her expression. Concern quickly changed that as she turned fully to face Kaidan now, her small nose perfectly bisecting her features and her supple lips puckered with a passionate wave of anxiety. "Are you alright? You look a bit bored…" The suddenness of Alice’s voice made Kaidan quiver in a warmness he had long forgotten about. He cared so much for this girl, always wishing for her to be the happiest and to constantly take her on adventures out wherever he could so that she’d never feel like life was dull. He wanted the best for them both, and most importantly to keep her forever. His eyes wandered to his flanks, the park all but barren besides the two of them by the bench. Returning to Alice’s slender figure, he smiled wearily before closing his eyes and resting his head back. ”No dear, of course not. We’ve only just got here. How could I be bored when there is so much to see, so much to be done? You confuse my silence for impatience; I am only resting, love.”
His eyes opened once more to the lack of scenery he had almost forgotten. The sounds of the field were replaced by the grunting of the mortuous, hungry creatures clawing at the casted iron of the door. The difference was a halo of light protruding from a hatch in the top. From it was a silhouette of a person, blurred and blackened from the coming of morning light. Had it been so long that the sun decided to show its prideful face once more? Kaidan stood slowly, his balance off-kilter thanks to the position he had been in for so long, and he reached for the ladder to stabilize himself. His mind was very clear, the normal hum and tunnel vision he suffered from melting away into the real world as his feelings lingered. Looking up once more, he noticed the shadow had misplaced herself away from the opening and motioned for him to hurry up the ladder. A brief reluctance hit him, exhaustion practically screaming in all of his muscle from the strain of sleep deprivation—nothing he hadn’t handled before. Kaidan squatted until his knees were fully bent, using his arm as leverage to bring himself back up. The tightness in his upper thighs were mostly released from the subtle stretch and as a result of the blood flowing more regularly he yawned, clasping his other hand onto a rung and beginning to slowly pull himself up. The chill of the air made the rusted iron bars cold on his palms and he made a point to hurry up the long ladder. Feeling so much was a mystery to him now, many years of numbness making each little thing a hundred times more extreme. Step by step, his loosely strung sneakers clambered up the incline, reaching the top in a matter of moments. The apprehension in the young woman’s eyes and features were clearer as he rounded the top and placed his hands solidly on the roof. A glance in the woman’s direction stopped him for a moment, staring with intrigue into familiar features. Like a reflection staring back at him through dark violet eyes, only this one had a pasted look of caution and temperament. Of course, he would likely feel the same way if his own sanctuary had been ruined by a temperamental mental case.
Kaidan’s head swung back around to his front as he fully detached from the claustrophobic tunnel. It was shut quickly as the girl circled him widely before standing between him and the corner of an AC unit protectively. Was she the only one here, or was she instead territorial of her supplies? Either case, he was the foreigner on her property, and unlike the last place he had resided, he could no further claim this place as his own. Sidling next to the unit, he leaned on the chilled metal frame, taking in the young girl’s attitude. Trust came so difficult in times like these, and he was no exception as her leer attempted to focus on his limbs, searching his for marks of the damned. Kaidan scoffed before shrugging, there wasn’t any reason not to let her look if it gave comfort in what she wouldn’t find—he was clean. He even gave a slow, exaggerated spin so she could inspect him fully before settling back in a straight-backed standing position. ”Thank you, first, for letting me up—and my apologies for the scene created down below.” He left it simply at that, a scene mysteriously created. An answer to that question would be avoided smoothly using her uncomfortable nature to his advantage. Besides, he had information that, if she were in need of, could provide that would possibly pique her interest. For the moment, he allowed a silence to cross between them and readied himself for the rally of questioning her lips would likely not hold back. ”I owe you both explanation and debt it would seem, and I won’t overstay my welcome so far as you wish it, dear girl.”
