Take a good look at me now... Do you still recognize me? Am I so different
inside?! This world is trying to change me, and I admit I don't want to change
with it! And I admit I can't go on like this anymore! Erase this monster I've
become! Forgive me for all the damage done! It's not over... say it's not over!
I'm begging for mercy... I'm only the monster you made me!
I'm better alone now, see I'm torn from my mistakes! And I stopped believing
that I could ever make things change! How much can I take, when I know
that it hurts you?! How long can I wait... when I can't go on like this anymore?!
Because who I am isn't who I used to be, and I'm not invincible, I'm not
Indestructible! I'm only human... can't you see the beauty in me?!
Take a good look at me now... can't you see I've changed?! Erase this monster
I've become! Forgive me for all the damage done! It's not over... Say it's
not over! I'm begging for mercy, I'm only the monster you made me!
Far away through the pain I hear the angels calling... Far away through
the pain I see my demons falling! I hear my angel calling...
XXXXXXXXX SPIRIT !!
Erase this monster you made me...
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XXXXXXXAwkward Psychopathic Homo
The days seemed to go by painfully slow in his time outside R&D. Seems when you’re in a place that seems to be outside of time itself, being thrusted back into a world that revolves around a strict time schedule isn’t exactly easy. Not like he was good at time management before his life turned to complete s**t, but now time seemed to always be against him. So, to say he wasn’t the most popular person would kind of be an understatement; but really he couldn’t care less about what other’s where thinking of him. If you were to ask him that same question a couple years ago you would’ve gotten a whole different answer, probably seen a whole different person as well. Then again being pumped full of experimental chemicals and driven to the point of death and back more times than any one person has the right to go does that to a person. The worst part of it all is that he didn’t even have a life to look back on and compare, the only life he’d known had been one of a science experiment. All those needles, infusions and revivals not only drove him to the brink of insanity and back again but it had cost him whatever life he’d had before. He’d been to countless therapists and psychics sense the escape but whatever they’d done to his mind made it impossible for him to find any trace of those he once called his family. All he had left was his freedom and he made sure he kept it, never staying in one place always running and making sure to cover his tracks by any means necessary. Except for his little stay at the mental ward up in Illinois not even his charms could erase that but as far as they were concerned he was just a passing psychopath in need of a bed and medication.
Some days he wondered if that’s all he was, if all those memories of the R&D are just something his mind made up and he really was just some patient in a hospital somewhere. Now that would be an interesting twist in his little story wouldn’t it? But most of the smells that leaked off the walls in the seedy motels he crashed within were so strong he couldn’t imagine even the depths of his mind could create on their own. He’d finally backpacked across the entire country in a little over one year and slowly sank down onto one of the nicer hotel beds he’d been on in this long journey. Back where it all had started, he tended to stay away from big cities but he figured he deserved one night in a room on a bed that didn’t reek of body odor and shame. Of course he’d gotten a room on the ground floor and when he was sure the coast was clear he opened up the window and let his absurdly large Great Dane step through the open frame into the room. His large companion slowly examined the room before hoping onto the bed and plopping his frame down quietly. He repressed an eye roll and made his way over to the pristine bathroom stripping out of his rather grungy looking white-beater, old torn skinny jeans and even more beat up looking converse. After stripping away his boxer’s he slipped into the shower and let the scalding water burn through his slightly bronzed ivory skin and drench his dark chocolate brown locks.
The water fell down his skin like mini waterfalls each one of his scars burned and tingled as the water fell over them each memory of how they were made played in his mind like his own personal horror movie. He rested his forehead against the shower wall and let his chest rise and fall slowly keeping himself as calm as possible and keep his mind at bay. After slipping out of the shower he quickly began to change into something less grungy ruffling through a couple of his large duffle bags until finally finding a few fitting pieces and sliding them on. He looked himself over in the full length wall mirror for confirmation and held his arms out to moose for confirmation but only got the dog to raise a brow. He shrugged the dog off and headed out the door not worried about the mutt. He’d left the window open a bit and the pup knew the drill for every situation. After getting directions to one of the closest restaurants and then to one of the bars he made his way out to the town for once just going to let himself relax. Perhaps flirt a little… he just had to figure out how to do that first. Either way tonight he wasn’t going to worrying about having to look over his shoulder every second. Tonight was just about figuring out the rest of his life… being free, R&D be damed. ...
♫═━┈ OOC : { Outfit || Song... Hope that worked. lol... }
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