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Bashful Zealot

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Emily C. Samuels
"Take that money, watch it burn, sing it to the rhythm of lessons I've learned..."

She s t u m b l e d into faith and t h o u g h t , "God, is this a l l there is?"
The p i c t u r e s in her mind a r o s e - and began to b r e a t h e
And all the g o d s in all the w o r l d s began colliding on a backdrop of b l u e
Blue l i p s
Blue v e i n s

                                                Well, there went the pleasant dinner. Rae made a sarcastic, airy comment and slumped away without so much as a goodbye. Adam made something that came close to a parting remark - Emily threw a smile his way for the effort, as well as a "see you tomorrow," and another one to Nuri only a few seconds later as one of her orderlies swung by to scoop her up and shuffle her off.

                                                That left her, and Gideon.

                                                Emily wasn't really sure how she felt about Gideon. Of the patients at the hospital, he seemed the most...well, 'sane' probably wasn't the right word. The most level-headed. Certainly the most polite. But polite didn't always mean nice, or safe, or particularly kind. Of all the people she'd met at the hospital, he was the one she knew the least about. And that could be very dangerous. Time to probe those waters.

                                                She blew air out of her cheeks, like a sigh of relief. "Well, there goes the catfight committee," she said, raising her eyebrows in the general direction of the door, "and nobody even tried to kill anyone else. I mean, I can't guarantee how safe the hallway might be, but still." Turned her gaze to Gideon, smiled thinly. "So, you made it through your first day! How're you holding up?" Out of the corner of her eye, she could see her orderlies starting to shuffle uncomfortably - perhaps feeling pressured to do whatever the other orderlies were doing? Best to hurry up and say her piece now. Emily got the feeling she was getting pulled out real fast.

                                                User ImageMentally, she shuffled through what little information she had on Gideon. Army man, Biblically religious - Canadian? He was Canadian, right? She remembered thinking that was unusual during group therapy. "So you're from Canada, right?" Oof. Rough start. Try that again. "Where in Canada? Montreal? Ontario?"

                                                It was the only question she found herself able to pose by the time Guns approached, tapped her twice on the shoulder. "Yes, okay," she replied, somewhat irritably, and then to Gideon, "well, looks like I'm out, too. I really do have to unpack, or at least get started on it. See you tomorrow." She smiled, scooped up her plate, and dumped it on her way out. She wasn't lying - there really was a metric s**t ton of stuff in her room that needed to be organized properly. That was going to be a project and a half, she figured.

                                                Anything to keep busy.

                                                ((OOC: ~~~))


                                                She took a s t e p , but then felt t i r e d ,
                                                She said "I'll r e s t a little w h i l e "
                                                But when she t r i e d to walk again - she w a s n ' t a child
                                                And all the people hurried f a s t , real fast, and no one ever s m i l e d
                                                Blue l i p s
                                                Blue v e i n s

Manly Girl

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                                      xx All of a sudden, the jovial discussion of hypotheticals dissolved. Mere seconds after Gideon answered the last question, Rae stood and excused herself. It was, oddly enough, almost polite of her. Well, there is a first time for everything. He responded in kind. "Always a pleasure. Good evening, Rae." Gideon's eye followed her as she straightened her spine and carried herself towards the door. She was making an excellent effort. He was sorry to see her go so soon, but she had come to dinner, played nice, and left without a fuss, all while enduring the agony of heroin leaving her system. That was to be applauded.

                                      xx Unfortunately, her decision to exit early seemed to have set off a chain reaction. Apparently inspired by Rae, Adam promptly excused himself as well. Gideon gave him a nod and a "Good evening" as well, hoping that Adam's opinion of him would improve with every meal that did not end in a spork fight.

                                      xx Nuri was swept away by one of her orderlies a moment later. As she was lifted, her body limp and compliant, out of her chair, Gideon merely lifted a hand to wave goodbye. Her eyes, however, were elsewhere. She had wandered off someplace no one else could see. Gideon lowered his hand awkwardly, watching her as she was carried away like a kitten by its scruff.

                                      xx "Well, there goes the catfight committee." Gideon chuckled quietly at that. Emily seemed as averse to their confrontational posturing as he was. And she shared in his relief at the absence of violence during dinner. One would think this cafeteria was some sort of western saloon out of a picture, given the way they talked about it. Western saloons in real life were in fact much friendlier places.

                                      xx Emily brought him hurtling back into the current century (20th? No, it was the 21st, wasn't it? Lord, that makes four now.) with her question. Gideon realized she may have been talking for some time without him listening. He resolved to engage more fully in her company. She wanted to know where he was from. Well, that was a difficult question to answer truthfully. He had grown up not far from where Pittsburgh was now, so calling himself Canadian was only really accurate if you went by borders that had been out of date for a few centuries. And bless the girl, she had guessed Montreal and Ontario. Montreal was a city, and Ontario was a province almost twice the size of Texas. Gideon was eternally grateful for how little Americans always knew about Canada. It made things so much simpler. "I'm from Quebec," he lied, "actually just north of Montreal. Though, most of my life I've lived in America. I've taken quite a liking to it."

                                      xx He grinned affably, hoping she wouldn't press the matter further. He hadn't actually been back to Montreal in almost forty years, so he could only improvise so well. Fortunately, her orderly summoned her the next moment, and she was escorted away from the table. "Until the morrow, miss Emily." As soon as he heard himself say the words, he cursed inwardly. That was certainly outdated. It was alright, one slip up was merely an oddity. Besides, he was certain that whoever had brought him here already knew. It was only a matter of time.

                                      xx Gideon looked around the empty table, nodded, and stood up. He turned to his orderlies, who were already moving deliberately towards him. He fixed the shorter of the two with a one-eyed smile. "Sorry to dawdle, gentlemen. I do hate to leave a party." The three of them walked away in silence, leaving the empty cafeteria to echo as the door shut loudly behind them.

                                      ☆ ★
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Firebreathing Gekko

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R A ExxM O R A I N E

ʛɾєєɳ ҽʏҽȿ ℛҽɗ ɦąϊr ʆoɳg ℓҽgȿ ȿɦҽ'ȿ ʛσҭ ҭɦҽ ÐɆѴΪL ϊɳȿϊɗҽ ɦҽɾ



                              The doctors were annoyed with her, unsurprisingly. She noted their reactions and tried to pay attention when Clarke started babbling about hospitals and helping people and how Oz was not what she thought it was. All it did was reinforce what Rae already knew. It was a pretty cage that pretended not to be a prison, she couldn’t leave, and she had no power to refuse “treatment”. Didn’t these people understand anything? Some things couldn’t be fixed. Sometimes, things were shattered and unable to be returned to their original state. They could only be patched up and put back together as well as possible so that they made something new. It wasn’t pretty, it wasn’t always stable, but for the most part it functioned enough to get by. And for the days it failed? Well, that’s when you shot up and let the drugs fog over the edges so you didn’t know quite how bad it was.

                              Rae paid no attention to Clarke’s imitation of a TV commercial doctor, rattling off what sounded like a bunch of random numbers and made-up words. Seriously, who the hell could remember ‘polyax-asomething 407 NS’ or whatever? Was this woman actually human, or a robot? Or, more likely, she wasn’t really in charge. Someone was talking into her ear, reading off a list of ingredients for Clarke to regurgitate like a good little puppet. That had to be what was happening. And it explained why her powers didn’t work on the orderlies. If they already had a voice in their head, they wouldn’t hear her suggestions correctly. Or she was insane and somehow a bunch of assholes who were immune to her had all been gathered just to make her life a living hell- “should you choose not to take this dose of cherry-flavored methadone, then I will have you moved to solitary confinement until such a time as you are no longer a danger to the mental or physical well-being of yourself or those around you.”

                              That snapped Rae from her musings. She couldn’t quite stop that flash of fear in her eyes, the pure panic that slid down her spine and pushed her to attack, to flee and do everything in her power to keep from going back there. She could handle solitary, she could manage anything at this point. But she couldn’t take all of it at once without breaking again and she wouldn’t be able to put herself back together again if it happened one more time. Withdrawal made it difficult and with the memories already so close that she couldn’t close her eyes without seeing him or feeling his hand around her neck god please don’t put her in solitary and take away the lights.

                              More words sank in, just barely kept her from slipping over the edge. “I want to impress upon you, Ms. Moraine, that I do not need to answer your questions, and as I am a very busy person, I will answer no more this evening. I am not going to play your games tonight. Will you take this dose of methadone while I am watching you, or will you ride out what will undoubtedly be a very painful and long withdrawal in solitary confinement? Yes or no to the methadone, Ms. Moraine. Fifteen seconds to decide.” Instead of a panic attack, she was reminded how badly she needed what Clarke held. It would all go away, the aches and trembling and nausea. And it would pull a haze over the fear so she could close her eyes and pray for a few hours of dreamless sleep. Or, she would suffer and lose herself again. Rae glanced away, nodded. “I want it,” she said softly. She carefully, stiffly, unfolded herself from the corner and set her feet on the floor. She forced her spine to straighten, made herself cross the few feet on legs that were shakier than she cared to admit so she could take the outstretched bottle. Was it a test? Did they know that she would do anything, absolutely anything, in order to get her hands on it?

                              She took the bottle, managed to get the cap off with only a slight struggle before tossing the drug back like a shot. “How long does it take to feel it? Nothing oral is as fast as a needle.” Rae set the bottle back in Clarke’s hand, forced herself not to lick it clean for every last drop. It was too hard to let go of the bottle, to turn her back on the doctors and retreat to the bed. When she sank to the mattress it wasn’t quite controlled, desperation still in every movement. It was too slow compared to heroin. There was a reason she had always found a vein rather than skin-popping. She loved the rush, the instant gratification. But if methadone was only going to mask the pain and not give her that…. Well, better than nothing at all. But she didn’t have to like it or the doctor who had threatened her with solitary. She’d find a way to get back at her, one way or another.


                              ωιтҥ: Clarke and goonsxxxxx ωҥєяє: bedroomxxxxx мѳѳɗ: How much of my soul do I need to sign over to get the drug?
                              Adam #90B963 Gideon #9D4F19 Nuri xx Emily chocolate Clarke #ff1e00 Rai xx Toto xx Rae #B22222
                              She's like a witch, casting spells, hypnotizing.
                              She made me drink a potion just to fall in love.
                              She got me drunk, tipsy of her love.
                              She's not your average lady, she's [******** crazy.

                              Spelled C-U-N-T xxxxxxxxxxx
                              And after all, the rise and fall, you're not worth my time.
                              I'm just another victim of the bad girls club.

xxxxxx𝕄𝕐 ℕ𝔸𝕄𝔼 𝕀𝕊 ℂ𝕃𝔸ℝ𝕂𝔼.
♤ ʜᴀʟғ ᴀ ᴄ ᴄ ɪ ᴅ ᴇ ɴ ᴛ ᴀ ʟ ♠ ʜᴀʟғ ᴘ ᴀ ɪ ɴ ғ ᴜ ʟ ɪɴsᴛʀᴜᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ
♠ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʟᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴀ ʙ ᴏ ᴜ ᴛ ♤ ʏ ᴏ ᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ'ᴍ ᴊ ᴏ ᴋ ɪ ɴ ɢ ?
♤ ʏ ᴏ ᴜ ʜᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴠᴏᴋᴇ ʜ ɪ ᴍ ♠ ɪ ɢᴜᴇss ɪᴛ's ʜɪɢʜ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʏ ᴏ ᴜ ғᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ

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                                      Ms. Moraine's eyes slid in and out of focus, and Clarke registered the unmistakable flash of fear that registered on the young woman's features at the mention of solitary confinement. That proved to Clarke that Ms. Moraine was listening, even if the finer points of the medications chemical substance undoubtedly went over her head.

                                      ...4, 5, 6...

                                      “I want it,” Ms. Moraine said softly, and nodded.

                                      Well, at least the patient was showing signs of responsiveness, even if she was as combative as usual. This boded well. If Ms. Moraine had been truly paranoid, there was a chance that she would refuse any and all future treatment, which would be less than ideal for an entire litany of reasons.

                                      Clarke nodded in response, inviting Ms. Moraine to come take the medication by holding it out a bit further from her body. This would serve two purposes-- the primary being that, by forcing the patient to initiate contact, the patient would ostensibly be afforded a stronger sense of agency in her own treatment. It would also allow Clarke to see how well she could control motor function independently at this juncture. If, of course, Ms. Moraine refused to stand for the bottle, then one of the orderlies would bring it to her directly, and Clarke would assume a loss of motor function, which would indicate withdrawal symptoms from illicit substances besides opiates.

                                      Ms. Moraine stood and although her legs shook visibly, her motor coordination remained satisfactory. She even managed to unscrew the safety cap without assistance, and once she finished consuming the solution, she returned the bottle.

                                      “How long does it take to feel it? Nothing oral is as fast as a needle.”

                                      "It should take effect within the hour" Clarke replied, pocketing the bottle. She was mollified by Ms. Moraine's decision to cooperate, and so did not mind answering this question. "If you don't feel better in two hours, knock on your door, and an orderly will fetch you some more." Behind Clarke, Dr. Andrews' mouth turned down perceptibly. "Otherwise, get some rest, and I'll see you in the morning."

                                      Her errand completed, Dr. Miranda Clarke turned from the room, and waited for Dr. Andrews and Mr. Rostropovich to follow, which they did after a few moments. In the hall, Clarke watched with a beady eye as Mr. McGraw slid the key into the lock on the door. All down the hallway, orderlies were locking their patients in for the evening. An early night, to be sure, but given the events of the day, Clarke doubted that the patients would properly enjoy spending their first evening socializing. No, it would be better to have them collectively turn in early and begin again tomorrow.

                                      "As you can see, Dr. Andrews, a simple task. Now, if you two will just follow me, we will be heading down to the second floor now to discuss security measures in further detail..."



♤ ᴛᴡᴏ ʜᴀʟᴠᴇs ᴀʀᴇ ᴇǫᴜᴀʟ ♠ ᴀ ᴄʀᴏss ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴇᴠɪʟs
♠ ɪᴛ's ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ɴ ᴇ ɴ ᴠ ɪ ᴀ ʙ ʟ ᴇ ʟ ᴏ ᴛ ♤ ʙᴜᴛ ɪғ ʏ ᴏ ᴜ ʟ ɪ s ᴛ ᴇ ɴ
♤ ʏᴏᴜ'ʟʟ ʟᴇᴀʀɴ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅɪғғᴇʀᴇɴᴄᴇ ♠ ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴀʟғs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴀʟғ-ɴᴏᴛs
xxxxxx𝕃𝔼𝕋'𝕊 ℙ𝕃𝔸𝕐 𝔻𝕆ℂ𝕋𝕆ℝ!

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